Momentum & an Ambitious Network & Environment Is The Most Important Thing - Doc the Journey Ep 83
Matthew Kelly records a reflective, informal driving-video in which he uses a friend’s stagnant brother as a catalyst to argue that (1) creating personal momentum is crucial — he gives examples from his own life (dropping out, one‑way ticket to Singapore in 2017, documenting recoveries, marathon training) — and (2) being in an ambitious environment or network makes it far easier to start and sustain progress. He contrasts lacking momentum and limiting social circles with the advantages of networks, experience, and perspective that compound even if one loses money or businesses.
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Yo, I'm driving back down on the six hour journey to London. Well, also actually to Heathrow, picking up the girlfriend. I'm going to South Africa for New Year's Eve, which was very last minute because one of my big scaler friends invited me to his fucking literal mansion he just bought for New Year's Eve. I've never been there, never been Africa, so that'll be interesting. But more videos on that when I get there and when I'm on the way. I really need a piss right now, so I might be distracted and I'm trying not to crash when there's a lot of cameras going on in front of me and a dog that looks really thirsty. But he just ate by the. Just ate and drank and did a wee and had a walk outside. So I think he's moaning, I think he's fine. He probably should be strapped in. I don't know if this is technically illegal, but we'll crack on. He was strapped in earlier. He just gets really stressed. Continuing the theme of me basically talking shit while driving and kind of reflecting on stuff and also trying not to crash while I'm filming because it is actually surprisingly hard to think about what I'm saying while driving. And also having a camera in front of me which seems to be wobbling because I put it on a weird tripod setup. But yeah, Carl seems to be my reflecting time. So I want to talk about something super quick. I was up seeing friends last night. We went out for pints as we always do every year. School friends actually really like seeing school friends who aren't entrepreneurs and founders, because it really gives me perspective on just like normal life. And I don't say that in a patronizing or arrogant way. I just mean, like, when you're in the entrepreneurial circles, it's all anyone ever talks about is like money and scaling. And it's nice to get the perspective that not everyone does that and remind yourself that. And I come from a very normal background and I have some great normal friends and I think that is very valuable. I think it's net beneficial to have that as well as have obviously entrepreneurial friends that you can learn from, et cetera. But a topic that came up and I'm not going to name any names, I don't think he watches this video anyway. But I had a friend who's talking about his brother who's in his mid-30s. And I've always. I've never really met this brother, never really known him, but I've always heard about him. And known about him. And basically he was saying he's still working in the same place. He's in like a pretty shit job, lives in a shitty place, doesn't even have a driving license, has always wanted to do other things, has wanted to move to a different country. And I just said to him, like, well, why has he never done that? Why has he never taken the plunge? Because this friend of mine who's his brother, and we're talking about his brother, not my friend, he's got a really good job and has moved to multiple places, bought a house with his girlfriend, et cetera. He's cracking on with the shit he wants to do and the shit that makes him happy. But his brother sounds really duck. And he's in his mid-30s, you know, he's single. This is all stuff he told me, so it's not private. I'm not naming his name obviously single, doesn't like the job he's in, has never taken the plunge to, you know, upskill himself and get around people, get in environments that could help him crack on. And I sort of said, well, why would he not just, I don't know, move to another country and get a job? Because apparently he wanted to move to Canada and he never did. And he says, well, he just, he just feels stuck. He just feels like he can't. And I don't know, it just made me think that basically kind of two things. Firstly, momentum is so fucking key and the ability to create momentum and realize when it's not there, which is something I think I've been naturally quite good at because I created a lot of momentum. When I was younger, people used to say like, how did you meet entrepreneurs? And it's like, well, I fucking didn't meet any in uni and in Newcastle, which is why I dropped out. And then I took a one way ticket to Singapore when I had like 500 quid in my bank account in like early 2017, mid 2017. And I met loads of people and I created momentum that way. And that went on to. I traveled to Bali and I, over time that was kind of the catalyst for me meeting a lot of people and building these entrepreneurial circles, which a lot of people say I have a notably good one now, and I definitely do, and I think that's a very valuable asset. But I create momentum from nothing and then when my business fucks up. A few years ago I was down in the shit and I was quite good at creating momentum again by starting to document the process. I thought that would be Something that would be the catalyst for, I don't know, meeting people, sharing my perspective. It might bring something new, which became obviously this YouTube channel, which is still fucking shit and tiny. But you get the point. Met a lot of people through, gave me a new focus when I was in between businesses at the time. I then started the marathon training. So I knew I needed physical momentum when I just broke up my ex and I was in bad shape and so on. Obviously then started a new brand. But I was always conscious of having creative momentum in the past that I needed to make it again. Because it's fucking hard to create momentum from nothing. And when you hit a rock bottom or you haven't got started in the first place, but knowing you need to create it. What is going on with my camera here? Knowing you need to create it. This is gonna be a lopsided video is super important and is a super valuable. So that's the first thing. And I think people that don't recognize that and don't have the ability to do that really struggle. But I think the flip side of that, and it's my second point of what I'm talking about here, if it makes any sense and I'm trying to be articulate and describe something I've been thinking about. It's often harder than it sounds. Especially when driving. Is this guy. And it's the same a lot of people. I'm just using this guy as a catalyst for the point to make in conversation. This guy's never. He hasn't seen the being creating momentum, doing something new, going after whatever you want to achieve. And it doesn't necessarily mean, you know, financial gain or any of. Could just be wanting to fucking move into a new career. I don't know, you want to become a teacher or a lawyer or something and you're doing something you hate. He's clearly not been surrounded by people that have created momentum. And for him, unlike me, because I wasn't surrounded by anyone doing stuff I wanted to do at the time. But I knew that I was aware of that fact. And not everyone is. But also it got easier for me when I was around people and saw that when I got around people that were creative and creators of their own life, basically in whichever way you want to be for this guy and for a lot of other people. Never seen that that is possible. Say you're surrounded by friends that say why would you do that? Rather than why wouldn't you do that? Which has always been my attitude generally to things. I think it's the Same for a lot of founders. If you're not around those circles, it's way, way harder because A, you've never seen that it is possible, it being like going after your dreams and achieving them in whatever shape they are or even getting on the path to achieving them. And B, you end up becoming the average of the people you hang around with. So I think it's super fucking crucial in your early 20s, if that's when you start, or basically as soon as you stuff to just get around environments or people that sync up with wanting to make shit happen basically in whatever way it is, whether it's build a business, fucking shit going the wrong way, get really fit, make money, start a new career, travel the world, whatever. And yeah, I think for a lot of people, they need to get in that environment first and then create momentum from that. You know, meet people, go to new places, switch the mindset up, realize that something is possible that you want to do because other people have done it and normalize progression and success and achievement. Because a lot of people don't come from those backgrounds, I certainly didn't. Or had those friend groups and this guy sounds similar. Or you need to recognize you don't have that and create momentum straight away and fucking go fly somewhere and figure something out. And I don't know if what I'm saying makes sense, but basically momentum and the environment you're in, super important. Sometimes you need to be in the right environment first to create the momentum, you know, hang around with the right people, go to Bali, whatever it is. But other times you're not aware of that and you just need to make a big fucking change and going to a new country, starting new jobs, starting a side project, starting a YouTube channel, getting a Twitter account, whatever it is, this little thing can be the spark that enables you to then, I don't know, meet someone in DMs and you fucking have similar interests and you go to Bali together and you live in a villa and that becomes like your hustle house environment, which I think is the best thing to do when you want to build something from scratch in the early stages. And yeah, it made me realize, basically that made me realize, firstly, I've always been good at that and recognizing the value of. Even though I haven't always cracked business and made all the money I wanted to. And there's 20 million people that have made way more money than me and built bigger things than me. Maybe not 20 million, but there's a lot of people in my environment and most people in my Network, I would say, are ahead of me, which is probably testament to the fact that I'm good at building a network and cultivating those environments because I feel like I'm always the least accomplished in the rooms that I'm in and it's done organically and naturally. That stuff comes naturally to me. And I suppose the other thing that made me realize is you can lose money and you can lose businesses, which I know probably better than most people are willing to admit, or certainly, you know, the ones in my circles. But it's very hard to lose network and experience and the perspectives and kind of mental frameworks that got you there in the first place. In fact, if you're a decent person and you know, hold your integrity high and do the right thing and don't scam people and so on, don't be a cunt along the way, then you'll probably compound those things even if you lose money. And it kind of gave me a bit of a positive mental shift because obviously I'm very hard on myself about, you know, I fucked up the past, I have a lot of regrets, you know, I should be further ahead, I should have 10 million quid by now, etc, etc, and I don't. But I'm on the path there, hopefully. But the one thing I do have is the perspective and network and momentum creating abilities that clearly this guy doesn't have and a lot of other people don't have. And it's one thing not have as much money as I'd like, but still having all the skills and network and you know, context and perspective needed to go and create wealth in the next thing, which is what I'm trying to do. But it's a much worse situation to be in, probably like most people, sadly to be in that situation with I guess a lack of success. I'm not saying I'm that damn bad, but you know, relative to where I want to be, I guess I am, but also to not have the experience, the right mindset, the network, be able to cultivate the environments and build momentum for yourself. So yeah, I think it's kind of a superpower. And the thing is ultimately it's free. You don't need money to start speaking to the right people online. You don't need money to start watching the right YouTube videos. You don't need money to stop ignoring, to start ignoring your parents advice or your teacher's advice and start listening to the right advice from people online. Because access to information is so crazy these days, like we're drowning information, starving at knowledge, etc. But actually if you can create the stuff you listen to, the stuff you watch, the news outlets you do or don't listen to importantly, then it's all at your fucking fingertips these days, really. You just need the right attitude and ultimately belief system that something is possible even before you've seen it. So yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that makes any sense. I feel like often I'm not as coherent and as articulate as I like to be when I'm driving in these videos, even though I often get the most reflective thoughts when I'm on long drives. But then when I'm looking at Google Maps down here, trying to pay attention to the road over here while also looking at a camera, I often feel like I fudged my words a bit. So apologies if that's been the case. I feel like I'm gonna crash. I'm about to piss myself real bad. But yeah, that's pretty much this video. The thoughts for this drive. Don't know if it's relatable. Hopefully it is. I might not even post this because it didn't come out very well and the camera angle was. But yeah, I'll see you in Cape Town on the flight shortly, Ram.
