Things Change, People Move on and Life Doesn't Stop for Anyone - Doc the Journey Ep 38

I actually didn't want to make this video at all. But in the interests of documenting, which is what I said I'd do from the start, I guess I will fucking make it. And there's no particular reason. I just feel like, I don't know. A lot going on right now, very busy. I feel very fucking tired, to be honest. And I feel like for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'd. Well, not the first time ever, but certainly the first time in recent months. I. I don't have time to do this part of what I'm doing with my life right now, which is obviously documenting it and making the pod. We missed two pods, which was my fault, ended up canceling. So I didn't feel like I could fucking face doing a pod, to be honest, which is crazy. And my whole angle with this pod, I guess probably makes me seem like I'm just a massively melancholy, dramatic, overly romantic, which I am person with no other side. I suppose. Like you only ever see this little part. It's a snapshot of when by definition, I'm doing boring things because I'm documenting sitting down at my desk pretty much every week for the past circa 40 weeks, nearly now, building a business. And the whole point is it's fucking. It shows. I'm almost intentionally showing just one side of it, even though that side is probably most of it right now, certainly day to day. But yeah, I suppose I feel like I'm entering a new chapter recently, which is very dramatic. But like so much has fucking changed in the past month in so many areas. And that's probably why I feel a bit thrown off. Like routine wise move flats, which is obviously one which I've spoke about. I'm probably never gonna do a flat talk. Cause I'm just not that sort of person. I'm not a full time YouTube fucking blogger. But maybe people want to see that. I just don't want to put it up. But I've moved flat, so that's massive change. The pod setup. I feel like I'm missing the original cozy pod setup. And then we brought the pod to a proper studio and then I felt like that kind of just defeated the whole point and wasn't. Wasn't the best. I know some people said it was a big upgrade, but then I brought it back here and I couldn't. In fact, I got the setup here right either. But now I'm looking at a few different options. So that was partly why two weeks I missed with the pod, which happened like six Months ago. So it's actually really hard to keep a pod every week alongside doing these episodes, which some would consider a podcast as well, when you're actually balls deep trying to build a brand and shit you. Because everything just takes so long. As I said before, ads agency change as well. That's a massive thing. Brought email in house. Nothing bad said about either those agencies, it's just, yeah, changing them made sense. Obviously brought on a managing director as well, who's probably gonna hate me speaking about anything. He's already said I should be more press trained or media trained. And I think a lot of people probably think that. Also my hair's blonde again, which I almost forgot about, which looks terrible right now. And my dog scratched my face, so I have a fucking massive scratch in my nose. But yeah, a lot has changed in that respect. So new agency. We also got a new finance guy. Again, I think I mentioned this before, but nothing wrong with the previous one. It was more just. I wanted someone that was more in sync with E Commerce a little bit. And Simon, the previous guy probably watches this is still going to be involved and I still think has been great helping me and he still helps me in a lot of other areas like the fundraising, like payroll, which we've recently started doing, which is all very new to me. Cause it's proved to just been freelance. So yeah, a lot has changed. Finance change, email agency changed, ads agency changed, brought in an md. I moved house, which is always fucking weird. So now I don't have my flatmate Jack anymore, which is very sad. But I do have a new flatmate, Adam, but he's not moved in yet. It's been me and the dog the past two weeks, which has been kind of weird. But then I'm also trying to get out more. So I have a solo works membership. Go in there like two, three times a week to get some face time with some of the team, which is nice, but I always find myself thinking I can get way more done when I'm just sat in like goblin mode at my desk for sort of 10, 12 hours a day, which is very true, but it's not necessarily good for my mind. I mean, definitely is in the long term. And it's very important and something I probably disregard and don't give enough credit to. It's very important to be face to face with people, particularly when you bring them on, bringing them into your vision, as I have been attempting to do with this new guy that I've mentioned. So I think that's been going well. It's a big learning curve for me. And if he watches this, I'm sure he's very aware that hopefully he doesn't watch this. But, yeah, a lot changing. One of my best mates moved to Dubai. That was a big change. And I don't know, I just. I went probably the past week in particular, I suddenly thought, oh, fuck, you know, life moves quick. There's like some album or something that came into my head and it's like things change, people move on, but life doesn't stop for anyone or something. And it's very true. And I always get a bit nostalgic about things when, you know, when you move out of a flat for the first time in two years, like I did, or nearly two years, and nostalgia is kind of a beautiful sadness or whatever, that's probably how I describe it. And I'm just very much like that about everything. Very sentimental, very nostalgic. And when things change and I kind of feel like the passage of time and it's kind of scary. I don't know where I'm going with this, by the way, but as I've got older, I feel like time has gone quicker and quicker and quicker and I don't know if there's any science to that or it's purely just in our heads, in my head, in our collective heads, probably. But at the same time, I look back a year ago and think, fuck, I didn't even launch the brand a year ago. Whereas now we've done multi millions in revenue, got team of eight full time now, including a really experienced person who knows a lot more than I do in this realm, as well as agencies to work with. So, yeah, it's kind of cool. As will always be the case, as probably all of us entrepreneurs fucking chasing the next thing. I will never give myself any credit for any of it ever. And it's never enough. And I want to be at the next thing always. And I'm, you know, you hit X amount, you want to do the next amount, you do X thing, you want to do the next thing. But it's actually kind of bad because you never stop and just fucking like, I don't know, taste the fucking fruits of your labor for just even a second. I certainly don't. Well, I guess I do. I do nice things and celebrate now and then or whatever. But yeah, past three months has gone crazy quick. I can't believe we're in Q2 as of two days time being April 1st on Saturday, which is fucking mad, because I was in Bali for new Year that was my last big trip. I'm going to Dubai and Bali again in the next two weeks, which would be pretty sick. I'm looking forward to that because I feel like for me, I've kind of figured out that a quarter of proper head down or net head down and then maybe a week or two, I'm always still working obviously, but a week or two away, I definitely, I'm definitely feeling the pull of sun recently. So I think winter does not help my mind at all. I mean, I've been very public about that and my struggles there, but winter does not fucking help. Lack of sunlight, I don't know if it's science or just my perception or whatever it is, but yeah, that would really fucking help. And yeah, I feel like these episodes potentially getting more and more boring, but there's always the voice in the back of my head that says I need to mix it up and do something different and plan it. But then I never get around to planning it and then it ends up being very authentic because it's literally just me fucking sat chatting shit for 10 minutes at the end of a very long day and a very long week as part of a very long fucking year. So maybe I'll try and do some proper videos if I go Dubai and stuff. And obviously the pods are coming back. I haven't cancelled the pod those two weeks off. So I fucked up and I moved and there's a lot of changes and couldn't sort out studios because the home set wasn't done on time. All this stuff, the pod is obviously coming back. Finding my feet again there. But I feel like it always comes back. Maybe a closing thought, it always comes back to generally the way you did something in the start, the simplicity of something and the authenticity of it usually is kind of what makes something good. There are exceptions to that but for me the pod was. It became this thing because it was red wine with pink lights and deep chats to other like minded founders, that was it. Trying to put it in a studio, trying to sober it all up. While I probably should drink less red wine midweek, which I have been doing, have not been drinking in the week on the pods, but trying to sober it up and make it more clinical and professional actually in many ways made it not as good, I think. And yeah, dunno, I feel like that that happens building the brand and as you grow as a person as well. Because there's a very fine line between I want to outsource everything and build this business so I can exit it and If I'm required, I can't exit it, which is kind of always the thought in the back of my mind. But at the same time I am the creative. Like this came from my mind as, as any business with any founder, of course you need the team, you can build it without a team. But if I just step away from everything, which I kind of feel like I've been trying to do recently because I've been so like, oh, this, this next year is all about hiring and systems and becoming a founder rather than a kind of in the trenches founder. There is definitely merit to that, but not in every way. So, yeah, just thinking about what I actually want to spend my time on and I suppose it definitely is more creative stuff. I think I've spent years lying to myself telling myself that I'm a businessman rather than a fucking creative. And obviously I'm a business person and entrepreneur is a much better time. But the creative shit and the 0 to 1 and the coming up with a mad fucking idea and going balls to the wall with it is what I'm best at and what I get most excited by. And doing the movies and fucking. Yeah, it's a constant struggle, isn't it? Because I think everyone knows what they want to be doing, but the reality is, especially in a side business, that I'm gonna wear a million fucking hats and never have time to do the shit I want to do. I would love to spend all day designing new products and actually I probably should be doing more of that and I'm trying to work towards being in a position to do more of that because product is the most important thing. But I find myself so, so, so caught up. I actually, for the first time ever, literally feel like I physically cannot keep up with emails, calls I'm meant to be on and fucking stuff to do. Which is obviously partly why I hired Ollie, who's the md and I'm bringing on Lucy even more, who works a lot on the pod and maybe watching this to help me with my diary and shit, which makes me feel like a right pompous cunt, but I just can't get through everything and I need to just focus on needle moving stuff, but also stuff I enjoy because don't want to hate the whole process because of some potential future outcome. I need to enjoy it a little bit as well. So yeah, I also have a 5 meter inflatable mushroom in my flat which is going out somewhere. So I'll leave you with that. That's coming soon. Maybe I shouldn't have revealed that but yeah, I don't know what episode we're on. I think like 36, 37, 38. All 39. I haven't even checked before I started recording. But as always, subscribe to the pod. I'm honestly amazed people watch this. I'm doing it for myself because in 10 years time I'll be glad I filmed this episode when I didn't feel. Fucking feel like doing it as opposed to not doing it because I didn't feel like it in the moment. Because I feel that way about previous times. I wish I'd film more. So with that in mind, I'm filming when I don't want to film. Even when my hair looks like shit and my nose is scratched by my dog. We're doing another dinner on the weekend as well. Message me about that if you want to come. I'm gonna start making it more of a thing because that's another thing I just want to do because it's fun. It is actually quite a lot of work, surprisingly, just to even put on a dinner for 25 people and arrange it and all the. But that's happening on Saturday, it's the second one. And then we're going to do some bigger in like spring, summer maybe in different locations as well. So keep an eye out for that. Subscribe to the POD as always. Appreciate you watching. Sam.