Very deep in the trenches, what no one else shares on the internet - Ep 108

You already know as founder what the fuck you need to do in your business. I think a lot of people just put it off because they assume that other people know better or you get in your head like me, that other people maybe know better. You take too much advice, too many opinions. But deep down, if you're locked in a room by yourself, what would you do? Because that's what you did at the start, right? That's how the business got going. And I'm not saying you don't need help, I'm not saying no one else has the answers. I'm just saying when things are decent, but they're not as good as they could be, and you know that deep down, then yeah, you gotta go back to the roots. I'm not saying necessarily full founder mode, although I think sometimes that is necessary and it's not even probably in every area of the business. But I do think the end of the day, as the founder of any business, it's on you to fix. And ultimately, even if it's like someone else's responsibility in the business, as it should be, right, if you're at any decent scale, like day to day, at least it's still on you. Because have you equipped them to do it? Have you set up the culture, right, have you set up the team, you know, environment, structure, reporting lines, whatever, right? And yeah, you get most the upside, if not all the upside, and most the downside, if not all the downside, right? But I've got other shareholders, so it's most rather nor but most the upside, most the downside that comes with the price. And that price is, you know, constant to do, constant worrying about what's next, constant thinking, you know, we're going to hit the numbers next year. This year has been decent, but hasn't been amazing if I'm brutally honest, for many, many reasons. And that's ultimately on me. And sometimes that's a hard, bitter pill to swallow, if that's the right thing to say. But you know, I'm very hard on myself. I compare myself to the 0.0001%, even though, you know, objectively like I'm in the 1% or even probably 0.1% for my age. Just like statistically, I don't mean that in a big headed way because I fucking feel like I'm a failure most of the time. But I also have that rational perspective because yeah, I'm not delusional. And yeah, I think it's very, very easy to work hard when shit's going incredibly well. Everyone feels like a boss when stuff's going really well. It's a lot harder to show up, you know, 12, 15 hours a day when it's crunch time, as I am right now, when stuff really should be better. If I'm completely honest. I think it's also natural to indirectly or unintentionally take your foot off the gas a little bit when things are going very well, as they have done at certain times this year. You know, you've got a good team, you want to delegate, but also more than that, give ownership of certain things to certain people. But when stuff is less good, ultimately that's on you. And I'm not saying you have to do everything, but the output of the team, the performance of the team and the business as a whole is on you. And yeah, I've got much better at delegating, giving ownership this year. And I think that's a skill in itself, especially when you've come from being literal, you know, solo founder, do everything at the start. That's the mindset you've grown up with, like scrappy, raw, get it done, etc. But then it's like, how do you find that balance? Because I sometimes think I step back, not step back, but like just started managing too much this year rather than doing. And I think in some areas that's not worked. That's the honest reflection or rather it could have worked a lot better, but to me that's the same as it hasn't worked. And yeah, maybe this is like a natural part of, you know, the messy middle of a scale up, so to speak. It's a bit darker. Apologies. But yeah, this is the biggest business I've ever run personally in terms of revenue and headcount, you know, cost base, complexity, everything. And yeah, I just hope this is the normal messy middle because it definitely is the messy middle for me. Probably the middle in terms of the life cycle of the business in my involvement, I would imagine I would hope in some ways, but also it's like the middle in terms of like relative scale, I think in terms of flop me where I was heading in terms of not like literal numbers necessarily, but like the relative scale and complexity. I think we're pretty much in the middle point. And yeah, I've learned more this year than any other year. But it's also probably been the most painful year of my entrepreneurial career other than 2021, when my previous business went bust and into administration, which is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, to be honest. And I don't think it's happened to that many people. Probably because they're fucking smarter than me, but that's a whole separate thing. Fuck me. I'm breathing quite heavily out here because it's pretty hot. I should probably have used my DJI rather than trying to hold my iPhone because me, that's tiring. But, yeah, I mean, I haven't made that many videos recently and if I'm honest, it's probably because I've been balls deep in the trenches. And yeah, it's not like trenches in my mum's basement with 20 quid anymore, but different sort of trenches, I suppose. I don't think that ever goes away. That like, back against the wall feeling of, you know, this quarter should be better, should be going, should be bigger right now. It hasn't been because of a combination of things. You know, I do set the bar very high. Like our growth rate, like expected has been very, very high compared to most brands, I guess, especially UK brands. And maybe it's too high, but I just don't default to that. Default to me. I've not. I've not done a good enough job. I didn't get this thing right. Didn't see this come in, didn't plan enough for this, potentially didn't make these changes with agencies, whatever, like, soon enough. So, yeah, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just making the video because that's what I meant to do. And stuff's going on, right. Me, my shoulder hurts as well. It's like a shoulder workout. But, yeah, like I said at the start, I think you know what to do. Deep down, you do. Every bad decision you've ever made, you probably knew shortly before or certainly shortly after you made it that it was the wrong decision. There's probably multiple things, you know, you need to change in your business or life right now that you just haven't. Literally holding my arm up with another arm. Fuck me. Human tripod. Such and says so that you haven't made and put. I'm encouraging myself and I would encourage you too, if you're watching this. Those things that keep you up at night and those thoughts and those decisions, you need to fucking make them because every day and every week and every month, you don't make them. Just like you're just doing yourself an injustice. And there definitely is a. There's definitely an element of you have to, you know, not make those decisions to fucking learn that in the future you should trust your gut more. But at the same time, I always get Pissed off myself for making the wrong decisions and not acting on them quick enough. Because to my point, normally by the time you make a change in the business or pivot something or cancel a certain thing or change a certain head or whatever, normally by the time you do that, you know, deep down you should have done it sooner, right? So, Yeah, my fucking shoulder hurts. Jesus Christ. Never thought it'd be this painful to make a selfie iPhone video. But yeah, and I'm probably breathing to fuck as well. I walked relatively quick, I was in the gym. But yeah, I'm just making this video of my future self basically, and anyone else that's out there feeling similar, which you probably are if you're a founder, it's never going to go perfect all the time, right? And my advice to my future self is make the fucking difficult decisions. Trust your gut. Something that's not right, product strategy, brand, team, setup, structure, whatever it is, just fucking make the change. Because you know deep down if you don't make it, it's going to be more painful when maybe next year is disappointing as well, or the next quarter. And it's not all doom and gloom, don't get me wrong. But like, I set a very, very high bar for myself and I always have, as anyone that watches this knows. Probably an unrealistic or unhealthy bar at times. And I compare myself to the 0.0001%. I don't know the technical, but you know, like the very rare founders in the space, many of which I'm fortunate enough to be good friends with, don't know how I'd manage that. Must be a good networker or something. But yeah, I think most founders are like this and definitely on the spectrum. Very bipolar, like legitimately doesn't make it easier. I mean, it's going well, it's great. And everyone's a baller when it's going well. But you know, how hard are you when stuff needs to be better and ultimately it's on you to fix it. So yeah, that's the point of this video. It's like fucking 1:00am Been at my desk since like 10:00am to be honest, it's not a sustainable patch of life, but it's a necessary patch of life and it's a necessary part patch of this business. And I'm learning a lot along the way, but. But I'm gonna win no matter what winners win. You know, I've been down very bad before. This is obviously not that I've been down very, very bad and bounced back to bigger levels, so I know I can do that. It's not easy, but I've got that dog in me, so let's win. Cheers for watching. See you on the other side. Peace.