Very Honest Car Chat - Recent £££ Wins, Challenges, Painful Lessons & Reflections - Doc Ep 92

First out of home, Canary Wharf. These printed sheets, loads of them. Got digital ones as well. I'll try and find. But it's the first time doing these with the QR code.

Out of home.

Digital screen. I missed it. Right? Okay. Yeah, but I didn't get the full thing. We need to go see if they've actually got an FSDU install. First out of home, outside HMB looks pretty good. Actually looks better on a digital screen.

It does. Printed.

The idea with this was to pump traffic into the stores next to it, but they haven't actually got it in first. Fsd, which is freestanding display unit. All this retail stuff is pretty new to me, but it does look cool. This was meant to go live in like 700 and something stores, which is nationwide.

But it didn't.

But this is one of the few stores that does actually have it. So pretty cool to see. But the execution was not great. But it really does pump. Move a sec. It does pump volume way more. Yeah, I think that is the old packaging definitely stands out. I thought it would be front up store though, rather than.

It's a bit shit to have that being yellow. Like the price is barely visible. You think that'd be red or something?

Yeah, we just need like a full end of bay fixture. Permanently would be better. I think we're doing some. Just found this golden ticket. I think we're doing some competition. Well, we are doing some competition. I don't know the actual details.

But.

Our team put loads of these out. It's meant to be nationwide like I said, but they haven't executed very well. Most of these haven't gone up. But yeah, if you are an actual customer, come and see this. Get a golden ticket and what do you win? I think you get like a year's supply or something or something else. But yeah, pretty good idea.

Yo, back with a car episode. Feels like being in the car is the only fucking time. Actually. Don't know the only time I feel distraction free. Although the irony is I'm now distracted by filming and probably gonna fucking crash my car. Don't know if this is legal, but they do it on Top Gear, so it's probably fin. I keep saying I want to do more with the YouTube and I do, but the ultimate like the high level dilemma I have is the whole premise of my YouTube is super transparent, super honest, super authentic, not scripted. But the flip side of that is by default, if it's going to be that way, then a it attracts competitors and already has massively over the past two Years or whatever. Mainly. B, if I talk about team or internal stuff, I could say the wrong thing and. And say something that maybe someone that's in the team or we work with or whatever watches and interprets incorrectly and offend someone or do myself a PR disaster or C, I share stuff that's overly honest and investors or my current investors or future investors or future acquirers or whatever watch and don't like. And a few people have said that to me. One sec. Feel like this setup is never that great. Seems to wobble. A few people have said to me, like, what's the benefit in doing the YouTube at all? Because there's any downside to it. But I just don't agree there's any downside to it. I've been doing it for myself the whole time. So, yeah, I guess trying to figure out that balance between being able to share stuff without crossing a line that becomes net negative, like commercially or personally in terms of, like, damaging the business, whatever. And the fact of even saying this, just me overthinking it. But yeah, there's loads of stuff going on recently. I have a habit of only sharing, like, the more negative things or the struggles, which I think is just kind of human nature or maybe it's not. Why is this fucking wobbling around? Right, Put face detect on. So hopefully that's gonna track me. A. That's not actually ideal recording in a car with this. It's very distracting. Yeah. I feel like my nature is sharing these struggles more than the good stuff because that's when I feel more reflective. And I've said this before, maybe that's more useful because it's the side that most people don't share. Fuck. It's actually quite hard to make a video while being on the motorway because I feel like I'm gonna crash. And the speed keeps Chang. And I end up looking at this and then not looking at the road. But yeah, fuck it, I'm just gonna like, speed fire, drop some shit that's been going on. Yeah, fuck. I was gonna. I was gonna give an update that I thought probably shouldn't even share that. Yeah, I guess there was a good milestone in the past few months financially that we. The business I reached, which was good, but that's all I'll. Yeah, a milestone reached, I guess. But then funnily enough, at the same time, we had a really tough. Well, this always happens. One good thing happens, then bad stuff happens. We had a really tough march in April because of a bunch of different things. I'm not going to go into, but it was similar to last year, to be honest. Just wasn't on target as planned. But then May was much, much better. And June, which we're nine days in right now, is going to be a record month by far. And specifically and mainly on Newcastle, which is obviously what you fucking need when you're growing. So yeah, we've pulled it back, which is good. That's kind of one thing. I'm just gonna like drop some random updates because that's the sort of video, the only sort of video I can make when I'm driving. I think it's just talk shit. Yeah, that's one thing. What else? I think building and managing and inspiring the team without pissing everyone off is really fucking hard. That's something I'm struggling with, is like, how do I build a really high performance cult and team and environment without alienating people and making them think I'm a massive twat? Which is something I probably over engineer in my mind and think I struggle with it more when actually it's just completely normal. And by that I mean I think there's always a fine line between building an enjoyable culture and environment that people want to be a part of. A part of that is like not pushing people too hard, giving them a nice environment, doing the team social stuff, etc, etc, which does have value. But the other part is just how do you build an environment where people aren't there just for that and actually they want to win because to me, winning is the most important thing in life, but certainly in business, maybe not the most important thing in life, but it's the thing I default to, which sometimes I feel like is hypocritical or ironic because I don't feel like I'm enough of a winner yet objectively. But I think my mindset has always defaulted to that. But sometimes, if I'm being completely honest, I prioritize that in my mind and then how I communicate over like I don't know people or like the way certain things come across. So an example of that is like I shared like a. I'm being far too honest here, but I don't think it's negative to say because people are. People in the team already know it. But like I shared an update, like a ways of operating that I thought about over the weekend when I was in like a, I don't know, kind of motivated mindset, performance was off. I was like, well, we need to fix this. And I shared this like 10 different ways of working in the brand and probably came Across a bit more direct than I wanted because I guess the way I see things as founder is ultimately going to be different to people that aren't the founder. And that I guess understanding that and getting my head around that round of that has always been a challenge for me because I often, I kind of struggle to relate to people that aren't founders but then by default everyone in the team isn't a founder. So I need to understand their way of thinking and see things from their perspective to help them and push them and get the best out of them. So I'm trying to become a better leader because my role has become less of, you know, doing everything and more so doing key things, but more like working through people and leading things. Which to be honest has been a big adjustment because I don't like being a manager. I think being a lead is a bit different because you can be involved and like set the vision and shit. But I don't like not feeling useful and I've felt not that useful in recent months because we have built the team a lot, which is a good thing in many ways. But the fleet, the flip side of that is I felt like I stepped back too much from certain things like growth and products and basically that's now my only two focuses, which should be fucking obvious. But felt like I spent so much time just managing people and not having any input and almost like scared to give my input in case it like, I don't know, pissed off the fucking team that we hired to do the thing because no one wants to be micromanaged. But at the same time that doesn't mean you can't be involved and give an opinion and add value. So I don't know, I guess that's my next point is I kind of felt like the business isn't mine in recent months and I guess in some ways it's not just mine. We have investors and some of the team have equity and so on, but like so objectively it's not just mine. But I felt like it stopped feeling like it was mine at all and almost like I was working in the business as an employee rather than being the founder. And I think that's self induced mainly because I kind of lost my confidence in like, oh, we've hired all these people. Does anyone want to even have my input or listen to my input? Which is probably like a fucking self worth and self esteem issue to say some extent. But yeah. And then when numbers weren't great for a few months, I feel like I got a bit more Involved and actually not saying that's the only reason they improved but I do think that had an impact. So that kind of proves the point. I think you do need that founder energy in stuff but it's just doing it in the right way. So you're not micromanaging everything but you are having enough impact on the stuff that moves the needle. Because ultimately I'd like to think I know the business better than anyone. I think I do not every finer detail of every tiny thing because like supply chain, customer service, finance, I'm less involved in like the weeds. But certainly growth products like brand vision and shit has to come from someone and it has to come from me really because I started the thing. So that's been an area of struggle. I'm basically just going through like recent themes to be honest. Most of which tend to be like negative or constructive because by default that's what I kind of speak about. I mean I shared a win at the start and I guess growth has been a win recently because we really cracked that. I guess retail has been a bit of a win recently, like been really pumping that did our first FSD use freestanding display unit which I think I shared earlier in this video or after depending on when I edit it in. And then another theme. I'm just fucking rambling at this point but I think that's what the people want to hear. Another theme is just feeling kind of lost in where the like where and how to live my life. I'm completely honest. Like I've lived in London the past six years. Basically like April 2019. I moved to London originally which is pretty mad a little overseas. Six years I've been based here. I've obviously traveled quite a lot. I've always been a bit nomadic but I've been based here officially and I'm not convinced it's the best place for me anymore mental health wise. To be completely honest, I think I feel a bit cooped up. I'm not sure like the inner city, living in a place with a nice view used to be cool. Now I'd probably rather have more space and a different sort of lifestyle and a lot of my mates have left. Well I left a while ago to be honest and I don't know, I don't feel like I have the community here that I used to have. But then my business has been built here and we have an office here and yeah, I feel pretty heavily conflicted actually in terms of what is best for honestly my mind which hasn't been in a very good place in recent months, which is probably fucking obvious to anyone that watches this podcast or doesn't watch due to lack of videos, which is often a symptom of that. So yeah, I don't think I'm in the right environment at all for me, to be honest. Like, it's better during summer, but even now it's not that nice. But in winter it's just fucking depressing, to be honest. I'm going to try and not get too political, but I don't particularly align with a lot of where the country has gone politically, to be honest, and especially London. Doesn't make me feel like I'm like welcome here as a founder. I don't know, I think there's other places where, not that founders are fucking special or anything, but like take all this risk, build business, hire people. Just feels like I don't know the country politically and culturally and in other ways doesn't necessarily make that feel very welcome or valued. Even though I guess small business ultimately is the foundation of the economy in many ways the largest chunk, I think SMEs. So yeah, feeling a bit confused on where the fuck to go. And I look around and I feel like everyone has it figured out. They either bought a house or I don't know, they're really settled with their girlfriend or they've had a fucking kid. Well, they're getting married. I just don't feel ready for any of that, to be honest. I feel, I still feel like a 21 year old in my head, which is maybe a weird or like fucking creepy thing to say, but it's the truth, even though I'm 29, which I find honestly quite embarrassing because I don't feel like I've achieved anywhere near enough for my age, which maybe 99% of society would laugh at. But I genuinely, hand on heart, feel that I'm not saying that for fucking sympathy or like to try and sound all humble. Genuinely feel that. And it's probably a deep rooted, like lack of self worth or PTSD problem from the past or a combination of all those things. This camera's going mad. So yeah, I just, I don't know. Like even my own brother, he's like super settled. Bought a house like three years ago. A lot of my original mates, well, all my homemates from like original school times that I'm not that close with, to be honest anymore, but almost all of them are fully settled, you know, and even a lot of founders I know in like London around a similar sort of age seem a lot or settled Like, I don't know, they have that office life, home life nailed down and I just have never felt like I've clicked with anything. Like, I got the office, got rid of it, went to a co work, then we got an office again because we actually had a reason for it this time. I don't know, I just feel like a bit of a outlier, to be honest. And not even like in a good way, just in like a I don't feel like I fit in anywhere sort of way. And maybe this is the sort of stuff I shouldn't put on the Internet, but it's also just true. But the one thing that's considered in all of it is I want to build a massive business and make loads of money. Like, that's the truth. I've got a massive chip on my shoulder. I want to win in this space and I also want to get really rich. Like, I just do. I kind of have to because I've got investors and I also want that. But I also just genuinely want that because that'll buy me a lot of freedom and it's a goal I want to reach. And I'm sure then I'll have other problems and all this, but I'd love to discover that next phase and I just feel like I'm still in that startup, well, scale up grind phase, which I'm sure will be the case for the next few years at least. But yeah, anyway, my point on that is, I guess how I'm getting there and the way I structure my life to get there along the way doesn't feel clear to me. Like I'm living in an Airbnb right now. It's very unsettling. I've got to move out again in four weeks. Don't know where the fuck I'm going. Thought about buying a property at one point, but it just doesn't excite me. Like, anywhere I'd want to live would be like, stretching it financially in terms of, like, what I'm willing to put into a property at least. Which is maybe like an arrogant thing to say, but I don't see the point in buying like, somewhere that is, you know, not bougie. And if it's not bougie, then I don't want to buy it and I wouldn't want to live in it. And if it is bougie, realistically, it's going to be such a large portion of my liquidity right now that it would just feel stupid. Stamp duty would be insane. You know, mortgage rates, which I'd probably get a mortgage would be, you know, very high right now if I could even get a mortgage, given I'm a fucking founder and I've got shit credit rating from my previous business. It's all this stuff. I was like, it might be quite good to like buy a base even if I'm not there. But now I'm like, do I really want that? I think I just regret that in hindsight because knowing me, I changed my mind on where it was. Let's say it was in London, like central London or something, because I'm familiar with that. Be like a decent investment in theory, but I'd probably just change my mind a few weeks or a few months later. So. Yeah, and then I don't want to. I don't know where I want to live, to be completely honest. And that's for me to figure out. But the problem is I know so many people that live life a different way and these are people that all built big successful businesses. So I don't subscribe to the narrative that you need to be in a certain place to do it. I just categorically don't because it's objectively untrue and I've seen evidence to prove that. But I also. It's always been this way, right? But like if you have a job and you have to be there, like I guess most people then that, that defines where you live and how you structure your life. Kind of makes it a bit EAS for me. It's like I could in theory run the business anywhere within reason, like time zones wise. We've always been pretty hybrid.

I go into the office like two.

Days a week now. But yeah, even a lot of the team work like remotely for like a month or something. Like I can do that and often that. Well, definitely that does get the best out of me more often than not. So, yeah, I don't know, it's a first world problem, but it is actually a bit of a dilemma because it's like, I don't know, I don't feel like I have the excuse of being 21 and figuring out anymore. I'm like 29 and I'm still clueless on where I see myself in the future other than I need to build a big business and make a fuckload of money and get rich because without that my life will be shit. That's the way I see it. Honestly. It's probably very toxic and unproductive. But yeah, that's the thing that's consistent how I get there in terms of the exact Way I structure my life day to day in the business setup is a bit less clear to me and something I flip flop on all the time. But the only thing that matters is the numbers. At the end of the day I think, fuck, I don't know. Thought I took a wrong turn there. And yeah, I'm actually off to see a supplier right now, which is a ridiculous three hour round journey just to try and sign off two final products because otherwise it's going to delay things by a week because they have to send it out. And then often if they send it out, it doesn't come out right. So that's where I'm going right now. Rarely get out on the road, to be honest. Feel like I'm either in the office or in my home office just working. I sometimes wonder like, is this it? Which I'll make this my final point because I'm just rambling. This is a brain dump episode to maybe like get me back on form with YouTube. The final thing I think about all the time is often I'm like, fuck, I've just missed the turn in. Oh dear. Fuck, it's gonna reroute. Two minutes extra. I often think like when I'm in the office, I don't want to be in the office. Every day I feel like I'm less productive. It's good to see the team in person that you can cover a lot of stuff better in an. But when I'm there I'm like, oh, do I want to be here? Would I just get be more productive? Like remotely, either in remotely at home in London like I am now, which is kind of pointless because you're remote but still in London or remotely anywhere else. And I'm like, yeah, I'll just do that. But then when I do that, I think, do I want to spend the next 5, 10, 20 years working remotely in a spare bedroom? I don't know. I don't know if that's productive either. So I guess ultimately the answer is you do hybrid, right? You do a bit of both. And I think this is not, it's not an uncommon like dialogue dilemma debate these days. So that is probably what I'll do. Sometimes I think, do I want to lock in, go five days a week in the office and force that, build the proper culture. And then I kind of try and push towards that. And then I think maybe it's not the right environment, maybe I've not got the office in the right place. Basically. I'm just really fucking confused on like how to live to Optimize, like actually enjoying the process, which, if I'm completely honest, I don't right now, and I haven't in recent months very much. And I don't know if that's obvious to anyone around me or in the team or in my life maybe, but also trying to optimize and this is the most important thing, the actual output and performance of the team in the business, because without that, nothing else matters. I'm very aware of that. So, yeah, I just feel a bit fucking lost, to be honest. And maybe I'm the only one that's willing to admit it on the Internet because it probably looks like I've got it nailed. Like I'm crushing it. Everyone mess. Well, not everyone. A lot of people message me, like, on Twitter and Instagram, like, oh, bro, you're crushing it. I just do not feel like I'm crushing it at all. I genuinely feel like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And actually I feel like a failure most of the time, to be completely honest. And yeah, this is definitely, like, I needed to go and do ayahuasca and do some deep inner work because it's not healthy. And I'm. I'm not even saying the business is doing badly or anything, because it's not, but I genuinely feel like a beginner that doesn't know what the fuck they're doing. Maybe it's better to be that way around than be actually not doing anything and think I'm the shit.

Because there's a lot of people that.

Think that way and probably more of those on, like, LinkedIn and stuff. But I just genuinely, I don't know, just feel like I'm a bit lost. And like, I keep saying, the one North Star is build a massive brand, win the category, build a legendary business and get really fucking rich. Because I think that's the only thing that matters to me. Fuck me. I've missed the turning again. Oh, my God. This is the problem with making videos. I'm already very late. Might have to come off in a second because I'm going to keep missing the turning. Anyway, I'm going to wrap up this video because I'm just talking shit for too long. Basically, I'm a bit of a crazy guy that's building this brand and documenting shit online and just basically exposing myself on the Internet. But hopefully it's relatable because I'm just saying the quiet bits out loud. I guess that less people are willing to. To say. And a lot of people seem to think I'm crushing it. And tell me I'm crushing every five minutes, which maybe is partly true. Like, I wish this part of my fucking ego is bigger that acknowledges that and talks about the fact we are growing and, like, all things considered, we're doing pretty well. But I think the more dominant part of my mind and my narrative in my head is that I'm not doing enough and I'm fucking paranoid about not getting there. And that is the part I'm documenting. Like, I know I'll get there in the end, but it's a fucking long and confusing road. And there's many factors that play on my mind every single day that don't make it that enjoyable a lot of the time. In fact, right now, I'd say most of it's not enjoyable. But that doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do because I still. You know, greatness is hard, and I'm pursuing that as much as I can, and I'm nowhere fucking near there yet. So, anyway, I'm rambling. It's hard to make videos when I'm driving, nearly crashing every five seconds. So, yeah, I'm gonna keep pumping this shit out. Let me know if there's anything specific you want to see, because I'm the ultimate hypocrite, and I ask this on every video. They never actually do it, but that's probably just the reality of being very busy running a business that I'm trying to grow as a solo founder. So, yeah, subscribe to the pod. I'll keep making this waffle because it'd be interesting to watch back in 10 years, I hope. And, yeah, I appreciate you all. Let's keep fucking scaling. Bo. Sam.