3 reasons you'll never make the money you deserve

Here's a stat that might surprise you. 84% of people bold enough to ask for higher pay succeed in getting it. So why are so many of us riddled with self doubt and insecurity when it comes to asking for money? Today we're covering the three key reasons that you're not making the money you deserve, including the hidden signs that you're undervaluing your work without even realizing it, how your past experiences and relationships have shaped your financial self worth, and effective, yet overlooked strategies to finally feel empowered to ask for the money you deserve. So. So how do you know if you're truly earning what you deserve? Believe it or not, there are several hidden signs in your daily routine that clearly indicate you're undervaluing your work. One of the key signs is financial stress. It's a feeling we all know. But did you know that this type of stress is deeply connected to self worth and undervaluing yourself? Financial stress can show up in a variety of ways, like struggling to make ends meet, constantly worrying about bills, wondering where you're going to find your next client, or feeling like no matter how hard you work, you're not making progress. Let me tell you, I know this one all, all too well. In 2009, I found myself in a perfect storm of financial problems. I had just filed for divorce. I was a newly single mother of a little six year old girl and within the span of a few months, real estate values plummeted. My income disappeared and the people who owed me a few hundred thousand dollars for a prior business sale filed for bankruptcy, leaving me with over half a million dollars in debt. This was my financial rock bottom. And the thing that turned me around was a question that changed everything for me. This what is my part in this? This question made me look at the cold hard truth of my situation and helped me realize that all of my financial struggles traced back to one common thing, a lack of self worth. This understanding became the foundation of the principles I now teach. Concepts that have not only transformed my life, but have helped thousands of others. The link between financial worth and self worth is undeniable. This is why financial stress isn't just about the money. It's a clear indicator of how we value ourselves. A understanding this connection is key to recognizing and claiming our true worth. In my case, the financial turmoil was a wake up call. It wasn't just about what I owed or the income I lost. It was the consequence of constantly undervaluing myself in business and in my life. Beyond financial stress, another subtle yet significant sign you're undervaluing yourself is constant exhaustion and burnout. It's not just about physical tiredness. It's about feeling emotionally drained, even when you're achieving your goals. This often happens when we pour our energy into into work without receiving recognition or compensation that truly reflects our efforts. It's a telltale sign that we're giving more than we're getting back. If you're finding it hard to separate work life from personal life, if you're answering work emails late into the night, or sacrificing your weekends without additional compensation, it's a clear indicator that you're not valuing your own time. This lack of boundaries is not just a scheduling issue. It's a reflection of how you value yourself and your personal well being. Recognizing these signs, financial stress, exhaustion and burnout, and blurred work life boundaries is crucial. They're more than just day to day challenges. They're indicators that we might not fully be recognizing our worth. But identifying these signs is only the beginning. Before we get into how you can start getting paid what you truly deserve, we need to look at a fundamental issue that often goes unnoticed. So think about this. Why is it so hard to ask for the compensation we deserve in our personal lives or in our professional lives? This challenge frequently stems from deep rooted patterns established in childhood. Especially for those of us who were raised in environments where our personal needs were overlooked, such as in narcissistic, neglectful or emotionally abusive households. These early experiences might be subtly dictating the value you place on yourself and your work. If you've grown up in an environment where your needs were constantly sidelined or ignored, you might have developed a tendency to undervalue your contributions and accept less than you deserve. Instance if you were often praised for being selfless and putting others first, you might find it difficult now to assert your own needs and to ask for fair compensation. You might equate asking with being selfish or unreasonable, and that's just not true. These deep seated beliefs show up in subtle ways. You might struggle with salary negotiations or hesitate to raise your rates. Maybe you take on too much work without seeking fair compensation. These patterns aren't just about money. They're reflections of how you value yourself. Another critical, critical aspect to consider, especially for those of us who were raised by narcissistic parents, is the belief that love and connection are conditional and based on performance. This belief, deeply embedded during childhood, often plays out in adult professional relationships with bosses and clients. If you grew up feeling like you had to earn a narcissistic parent's affection or approval through your actions or achievements. You might be unconsciously replicating this pattern in your career. You might find yourself overworking, constantly seeking approval or feeling anx about your performance. As if your worth to your clients or to your employer is solely based on how much you do for them, not on the inherent value you bring. This need to perform for love or approval can lead to accepting lower pay than you deserve because you're subconsciously seeking validation, not fair compensation. It's a pattern where your financial worth becomes entangled with a deep seated need for emotional fulfillment. Breaking free from this cycle means recognizing that your value is not just contingent on how much you do for others or how much they approve of you. It's about redefining your worth independently of external validation and understanding that your skills, experience and contribution have intrinsic value. So let's talk about the real important issue. How do you get to the point where you actually feel empowered enough to ask for what you deserve? So here's the deal. This isn't just about saying the words. It's about a fundamental shift in how you perceive and present your worth in every aspect of your life. Life. The good news is that this can be learned and you can start practicing right away. There are really only two ways to under earn. One is to charge too little and the other is to give too much. To own your power, you need to think of a basic supply and demand model. In any market, the value of a product is often determined by its availability. The rarer something is, the more valuable it becomes. This idea applies to your personal and professional worth as well. When you give too much of yourself, your time, your energy, your skills, for too little, you inadvertently increase the supply and diminish your perceived value. It's a common trap where your generosity or eagerness to please leads to being undervalued. If things become too easy to get, value collapses and worth vanishes. To increase your value, you need to limit the supply of what you offer. This doesn't mean withholding your talents or effort, but rather being strategic about how, when and to whom you offer your skills and time. It's about setting boundaries and standards for your work. For example, if you're a freelancer, this might mean taking on fewer clients, but at a higher rate. If you're in a traditional job, it could involve being more selective about the extra tasks you take on to ensure that they align with what your goals are and that you're properly acknowledged. This basically comes down to having healthy boundaries, having clear boundaries about what you're willing to deliver and what you require in return. This not only increases your self worth, but it also increases your financial value. It's not about creating scarcity for its own sake, it's about about creating a balance where your contributions are properly valued and recognized. It's moving from a place where you feel compelled to constantly prove your worth by doing more to a position where you confidently assert the value of what you already bring to the table. Start small. For instance, decide on email free hours at home, or commit to taking your full lunch break without work interruptions. If a client pings you in your off hours, don't respond immediately. Wait until you're back in the office where you can offer a thoughtful reply. These small changes signal to both yourself and to others that your time and well being are valuable. It's important to understand that you alone are the determiner of the supply and demand of your resources. You are the spender, the earner, the investor. This means that you are the only one who can actually determine, influence or change your worth. However, there are a lot of moving parts to this strategy. If you really want to learn how to feel comfortable asking for money and confident in your value and finally put an end to Imposter Syndrome, I have a process anyone can follow that solves this exact problem and I turned it into a 90 minute workshop. We go far deeper into how these past experiences unconsciously shape your views on self worth and success and how healing from them can unlock your true earning potential. We tackle Imposter syndrome, the fear of rejection, and the insecurities that hold you back from stepping forward. We also work to uplevel your self worth by setting higher standards for what you're willing to accept and I'm so excited to share this with you. If you you're ready to up level your earning, please click below. Book your space and I hope to see you soon.