Feeling Lazy? Don't Miss These Self-Worth Hacks

Hey there. This is Meadow Devore, author of the Worthy Project, and I teach tools to help you build self worth. What do you do when you're feeling lazy? I don't know about you, but it seems like self worth is like something you got to do when you're feeling spry or feeling strong or feeling like a cheerleader. Rah, rah, go you. But that's not really the truth. There are plenty of times when I feel just tired or need an afternoon off or just want to lay down and take a break. And so what do you do with self esteem? Or how can you build self esteem when you're feeling lazy? So let's first start with the definition that I lay out in my work. That self worth is built by giving time, attention and energy to your true self. It's really created by valuing true self more than ideal image. But first we have to understand the difference between true self and ideal image. So ideal image is the social role or identity that you want to attain, cultivate, or portray to others. It's the way that you want to be seen by yourself and by those around you. It's the socialized identity that family, friends, community marketing in society has taught you to value. The ideal image doesn't live in your human body right here and right now. It's a romanticized fantasy that exists only in your imagination. It's not an aspect of your true self. Rather, it's an ever changing illusion of who you think you're supposed to be, what you think you should have, or what you think you should do. So this ideal image is concerned with exterior, superficial and other centric concepts. The problem is when your awareness is chronically fixated on the image of who you think you should be, your true self atrophies and self worth deteriorates. Your true self is what distinguishes you from anyone else. It's your essence, it's your true nature. It's the you ness that makes you you. Your true self is the authentic, central and essential part of who you are. The real you, the that exists in your human body right here, right now. So this is the you that has the ability to dream and create. It's the you that has the ability to be in relationships with others. It's the you that has the capacity to love, to feel, explore, to think, to decide, and to create your life. This is the most vulnerable part of you. And it's the part that you must protect, the part that you must invest in. So the true self is your most valuable asset and honoring and Respecting and caring for this true self is how you change the tide of supply and demand of self. It's how you steward yourself. It's how you build self worth. This means to feel and act and live with an abiding sense of worthiness. Your awareness has to be on your true self. Okay, so back to being lazy. You have to look at this in terms of true self versus ideal image. So lazy is a label that I often like to use as a weapon against myself. And really what I'm doing is valuing my ideal image. My ideal image would be going for a run right now or my ideal image would be doing push ups. I don't know what my ideal image would do. She's like amazing. She does all kinds of things. She eats perfectly. She never needs to rest. Like, I don't. She's not real. She's also annoying. So that's the ideal. So if you're using the ideal or if you're valuing this ideal image and you're calling yourself lazy because you're comparing yourself against this image, what you're actually doing is promoting a sense of worthlessness or devaluing your self worth. So instead I would want you to check in with your true self because that is going to come to this idea a little bit different. Now when I'm feeling, quote, unquote, lazy, I mean, that used to be a word that I wouldn't even describe myself with. It was so terrible. It was such a bad word to me. Do not be lazy under any circumstances. And if you are lazy, oh my gosh, make sure to hide that away from people. But now that I value, or at least I try to value, my true self, I might end up with a different story. So your true self, you know, back to that essence of who you are, the actual human being that lives in a human body. When you're valuing that part of yourself, the real part of yourself, you start seeing yourself as someone that you care for, that someone that you want to provide for, someone you want to be kind to. So if I were caring for a small child or someone I love or an animal, would I call them lazy? I hope not. So I try to look at myself in that way when I'm having one of those days of like, oh, I just want to lay down. Okay, well, first of all, do I flip into this whole thing where I want to control my ideal image and make sure that I'm trying to attain this fantasy, or do I check in with, with who I really am and what I'm really doing and what I really need in that moment. So how I do this is I ask myself, what would I really love to do right now? Okay, you have to ask yourself this. It's an important question. And it's sometimes really, really hard. Like sometimes you're like, well, I really want to go for that one. I want to be the person that goes for that run. The minute you're doing that, that's back to ideal image. So what do I actually want to do right now? What would I love to do right now? Second question I ask is, what do I really want? And then the third question I ask is, how can I best care for myself? So on a afternoon where I'm tired, or what would maybe be called lazy, my answers might look like this. What I really want to do or what I'd really love to do right now is lay down and watch a sitcom on Netflix. What I really want is to rest and close my eyes. How I can best care for myself is to allow myself or to be generous with myself and to give myself that kindness. And so that is that ending piece that's so important is to give permission. So you are allowed to take a day off. You're allowed to read a book in an afternoon. You're allowed to not do anything on your to do list. You're allowed to actually rip the to do list up for the day. You're allowed to do nothing. You're allowed to watch tv. You are allowed are your own human being and you get to do whatever you really want to do and whatever you really love and what actually reinforces that you are worth time, attention, care, kindness. That is how you build self worth. So the tool for you if you're feeling lazy, first ask yourself, am I using my ideal image as a weapon against myself? Be honest there. Check in. You're going to be calling yourself lazy and it's either going to feel good or bad. If it feels bad, that's ideal image stuff. If it feels good, like you're just using lazy as a cute term and really actually honoring yourself. Okay, fine. Two, check in with your true self. Ask one, what would you love to do right now? Two, what do you really want? Three, how can I best care for you? And then the third step, after you've asked your true self and answered these questions, third step is to give permission you are allowed is to really honestly kindly give permission to care for yourself. So what lazy used to look like for me was a terrible thing that I would call myself and try to use as motivation to achieve some fantasy self. What lazy looks like now for me is a call to rest, a call for self care, a call for kindness. And honestly, if you give yourself that allowance, if you give yourself that generosity, what you'll find is that you start to build a relationship with your true self. And through that relationship is how you end up creating a deeper sense of self worth. Thanks for listening you guys. If you find this helpful, please share with your friends. And if you'd like to know more about me, my courses, my books, or about privately coaching with me, please go to my website, meadowdivore. Com.