Why Change Feels Impossible (And How to Break Through)

Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut and you want to make change and you want to build self worth, but change is almost impossible and pretty daunting. You're not alone. In this guide, we'll explore why change is so hard, why it's necessary for self worth, and most importantly, how to make it easier so you can unleash your true potential. Get ready to take the first steps towards a better you. So first, let's talk about why change is so hard. Well, the most obvious reason that probably doesn't seem so obvious is because you don't wanna. And what I mean by that is like, you want to want to change. I want to want to be a better person. I want to be the person that does these things, but secretly there's a part of you that's like, yeah, but. So I call that the want to want tos. What you have to look at is your actions. Is your behavior actually matching what you're saying? I want to get up and work out every day. Well, if your behavior doesn't match that, that means that you actually don't want to get up and work out every day. So you start by telling yourself the truth and go, oh, wow, okay, I don't want to. And that is going to make it impossible to actually make that change. The second reason why change is so hard is because your why isn't good enough. Like the reason behind the change isn't a powerful enough reason to actually motivate you to change. If you're trying to change because so and so told you, or you're trying to change because you have this ideal image that's like this better version of you. None of these things actually motivate change. They just make you feel worse and less empowered. The next reason that we don't change or the change is so difficult is because we have too much pain attached to the change or the changing process, rather than having the pain attached to staying the same. So when I think that the changing process is going to be really difficult, really painful, I'm going to suffer. It's going to be hard instead of, oh, if I stay the same, it's going to be really painful and really hard. You'll avoid the pain. When you are not changing or it's so daunting, or you keep saying you want to change and things aren't changing, it's because that you have these reversed. You have the change attached to too much pain and you have stagnation not attached to enough pain. And the fourth reason why change is so hard is because you are focusing on instant gratification or what's right in front of your face rather than the long term gratification, happiness, success, or whatever you're trying to build. And believe me, instant gratification is wonderful and it's quick and you notice it. And it's really hard to keep doing something that maybe you're going to see in five years, 10 years, five minutes, whatever it is, whatever your long term is, the more importance or the more focus or the more attention you put on the instant gratification, the more difficult it's going to be for you to invest in those long term goals. Self worth is strengthened by taking action when or having behaviors that reinforce the idea that you are worth your time, energy and attention. So when you're spending your time, attention and energy doing things that devalue you, eating, drinking, smoking, things that you know you shouldn't, watching, doing, saying things that you know you shouldn't, you're in what I call the worthless cycle. The worthless cycle is comprised of three points. The story, the behavior, and the results that reinforce the story go back to the behavior and the results to go back to the so it goes around and around, around. And the hack to building self worth is to change your behavior so that that change of behavior actually reinforces that you are worthy. That builds self worth, which changes the story, which helps you change the behavior. And by changing something that's really important to you and you know is going to make you a better person, you're not only changing your life, you're also moving yourself out of the worthless cycle and into the worthy cycle where it becomes easier and easier to reinforce that you're worth your time and attention and energy. And you're building self respect, you're building self love and you're building self worth. So next, how do we make change easier so you can really unleash your true potential? First, you have to do the opposite of want to want to. You actually have to want to change. So first choose something that you know you'd be better if you did change and that you are actually willing to change. And be honest with yourself. You don't have to do something giant. You don't have to like completely overhaul your life this quick hack to get back into the worthy cycle. You're going to change a tiny behavior. This might mean just make your bed. It might mean put your dishes away. Whatever it is, you change your behavior and that behavior reinforces a right I am worth my time, energy and attention. So you move over into the worthy cycle and you start building self worth from there and it makes change easier. Two, ask yourself, why do I want to change? And keep answering that question and just keep brainstorming and brainstorming and brainstorming until you get to a answer that feels like, oh, yeah, I'd do it for that. That that's a good enough why that's a good enough reason that actually motivates me. Number three, reframe the change. You want to make the idea of that change a lot less painful. So expand that suffering point for staying the same. If I don't want to change, I'm going to feel like this forever or nothing's ever going to get better. Or, you know, you just build the stagnation point into this big thing and you build the change point into a tiny thing. Try to make stagnation inconvenient, uncomfortable, and try to make it seem really difficult. And then you want to decrease the pain associated with the change and make the discomfort associated only with the process of change rather than a forever discomfort. So sometimes it's like, oh, I don't want to have to do 25 sit ups a day. That sounds terrible. It's like so many setups for the rest of my life and I can't do it. Ah. And so instead of doing it that way, you minimize the process of change. Oh, this is going to be a little bit hard while I implement this. And as time goes on, I'm going to get better and better and this is going to get easier and easier. The change process starts to be minimized where the stagnation is maximized. Number four, try to focus as much as you can on long term. This means you have to celebrate every time you make it through an instant gratification temptation and, and use that celebration to reinforce that you're worth it. You're amazing. You're mastering this, you're great, you're doing awesome. Truly, like you want to celebrate every time you make it through that five seconds, that five minutes, that two hours of whatever is that instant gratification little window that you're trying to make it through. If you're on the other side, celebrate it, reinforce it, bring attention to it. And like, good job. Being proud of yourself is really important. It's really powerful. So take a moment to notice, like, I did something, I said I was going to do it, I did it, I can trust myself a little bit. And as you do that, it becomes easier and easier. If you're trying to make a change to build self worth but you're feeling discouraged because pain is so difficult. This is what you do. 1. Remember change is impossible when you really don't want to change, when your reason for change isn't powerful enough and when you've associated suffering to changing rather than to stagnation. 2. Remember self worth is strengthened by taking action that reinforces that you are worth your time, energy and attention. This requires change. 3. Choose something to change that would actually make your life better. Pick something small and that you're actually willing to do. 4. Ask yourself why? Why change? Why should I do this? Until you have an answer that's powerful enough to motivate you. Number five Magnify the pain of stagnation and minimize the pain of change. Number six Keep your eye on the prize. Celebrate your wins. Focus on long term gains and reinforce a sense of self worth and mastery. What's one small change that you want to make in your life and if you have made a big change, please tell me. Let's celebrate. Sam.