How to explore ideas with your child: Ethan explains what parts of life have rules

A seven-year-old named Ethan talks through which parts of life have rules and which don't. Nerf guns need safety rules like wearing glasses, but imaginative play has none. Math has strict rules, board games have minimal ones, and mealtime just has no playing with food.
Chapters
Good morning, Ethan. How are you?
Good. How are you?
I'm very well, thank you. So I was thinking about rules. What is— what are rules? What is a rule?
It's something that you basically can't break.
I see. Can you give me an example?
I can't really give you an example.
Okay. What kind of— what parts of life have rules? Is life entirely rules, or do some parts of life have rules and some parts don't have rules?
Some parts have rules, but not all parts.
So what are some parts that don't have any rules?
Like, playing that mostly doesn't happen anymore. We use these things called Nerf guns. They shoot little bullets that are made of foam. And, um, they barely hurt you. And there's a rule for those, you can't break it. You have to be wearing safety glasses because we use these to each other's eyes a lot because we mostly blind fire, which means don't fire the bolt. So that's an example.
Okay, so I think you started by saying mostly in playing you don't have rules, but with Nerf guns when you're playing you do have rules. Is that correct?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So we have one example of where we have rules. What's an example of playing where there are no rules?
Eh? Well, there's not like— well, like me and Dad play guys sometimes, and that doesn't have rules.
You play what sometimes?
Guys where we act real guys.
Guys?
Yeah, the real characters.
Characters, I see. And so when you play with your little characters, there are no rules?
Yeah, there are no rules.
Okay. Are there other kinds of playing where there are rules? Hmm.
There isn't really.
So it sounds like most playing has no rules, with the exception of Nerf guns.
Yeah.
What other parts of life have rules? Are there any other, any rules in other parts of life?
Not that I can think of.
Okay, so why do you think sometimes we have rules and sometimes we don't have rules? Mm.
Wowee! Ah. I don't know.
Okay. Do you think that maybe we should create rules in other parts? So like when you're playing with your characters, should we create rules for how to play with the characters or we should not?
Easily.
Why not?
Like, it's just not that fun if you make a bunch of rules playing with a character.
Okay, so the rules would take away the fun?
Yeah, they kind of do.
Okay, but with Nerf guns, it sounds like you can still have lots of fun and still play by the rules.
Yeah.
Okay. Um, how about things like, um, let's see, do you know how to add 1 plus 1 in math?
Yeah.
What's 1 plus 1? What's 1 plus 1? And what's 2 plus 1?
3.
And 3 plus 1?
3 plus 1, 4.
Okay. Do you think that math has rules or does math not have rules?
Math has a lot of rules.
So why do you think math has lots of rules?
I don't know. It just kind of does.
Okay. Um, how about, let's see, um, if I said "Let's go to the store." You would know what I mean, right?
Yeah.
How about if I said, "Let store go to." Is that the same thing?
No, that's saying store backwards.
So do you think there are rules about how we speak?
Yes, there kind of is.
Okay. Why do you think there are rules about how we speak?
Because if you say something backwards, it's funny one time, but then it's not that funny.
Okay. Okay. Do you think that— do you ever play any like board games, like checkers or chess or anything like that?
I do play chess, and I do play chess. Do you know the game Battleship?
Yes, I do. You play Battleship?
Yeah, it's really fun. I love it.
It is. It's a very cool game. Are you good at it?
Yeah, I win like every single match.
Excellent. So does Battleship have rules?
Not too much, like you just can't— it doesn't have that much rules. You can't look at the other players' ships. Okay. Or else you'll see.
Okay, so it sounds like, um, there are some things except for playing. So playing has no rules except when it's certain kinds of games. And then things like math and language have rules. How about, um, are there rules when you eat dinner?
No, you just can't play with your food. That's all the rules.
Okay, so you can't play with your food, so at least there's a little bit of rules around dinner time. Uh, okay, do you think that, um, Why, why do you think some things have rules?
They just are.
Okay.
I can't like break them.
No, no, no problem, no problem, but it's interesting that some parts of life have rules and some parts of life don't have rules. So I'll let you, I'll let you figure that out and, um, maybe when you're older you'll figure that out. Does that seem possible?
Yeah, I think I will.
Okay. All right. In which case, I'm gonna let you have a fun Sunday and we'll maybe talk next week. Okay?
Okay. Bye.
Bye.










