In this interview‑style conversation, Speaker A guides Alana through key storytelling techniques aimed at enhancing emotional resonance in both writing and speaking. They begin by distinguishing connotative (emotional, creative) from denotative (literal) meanings of words, exploring how awareness of a word’s emotional overtones can shape a writer’s choices and affect readers. The dialogue moves to the practical implications of word choice in conversation, noting that insensitive language can cause frustration and that mindful phrasing can improve communication. Using a concrete example—a jiu‑jitsu tournament win—they discuss how to convey the significance of an event, emphasizing the classic writing principle “show, don’t tell.” Alana offers details (travel distance, tournament rarity, medal size) that illustrate how vivid specifics help readers experience the moment. The conversation also touches on the challenges of writing without vocal cues, the author’s current novel project (a continuation of a series with a new plot), and her flexible, idea‑driven writing process without a strict timeline. Throughout, the speakers stress the value of intentional word choice, detailed description, and audience‑focused communication to create more engaging stories.
Chapters
So we talked about connotation, connotative meaning versus denotative meaning. Do you remember the distinction?
Yes.
How would you describe it?
Okay, well, connotative is the more creative way of defining a word with the positive and negative meanings of it, and then denotation is more of a straightforward way of describing it.
Sometimes I use the word literal, kind of the literal meaning, exactly what it normally means, but most words also have these emotional overtones. Maybe all words do. And then we also talked about how that— how knowing about how different words have different emotional overtones could change the way you thought about your writing. Does that still make sense, that as you think about the emotional resonance of words that might inform how you write your books?
Yes.
So, and say more, just how would you say it informs how you write your books?
Well, usually when I wrote my books, I didn't really plan it. I just went along with the flow and just did what made sense to do. So I was And so when you asked that, I thought that maybe if I thought about the positive and negative points or meanings of that word or the connotation of that word, maybe my writing would have been different or changed a little bit.
Can you say how, in what way it might be different or in what way it might change a little?
I mean, maybe I was using let's— this is just an example, maybe I wasn't using this, but let's just say I was using the word run. And maybe like in the first book, so I didn't really know, I didn't know what, or it was my first time, so I didn't know a lot about it. And I maybe used it as in, or maybe I didn't make the context so clear. And maybe the reader would have been confused on, is she running away from something, or is she just running for fun?
Yeah, so what I'm getting is in some ways when you first wrote your novels or your stories, you were kind of focused on the plot coming out of you and the characters coming out of you, but not so much on the impact of the reader. Is that accurate?
Yes.
And would you say thinking about connotative meaning gets you to think a little bit more about how words may kind of be received by the readers?
Yes.
Okay. And I'm curious, in conversation, do you ever pause and think about how, how people might respond to different words when you're talking to them, or never?
I never really think about that. I don't.
Do you think— have you ever seen anybody get kind of frustrated or unhappy because of a word that was used in a conversation?
Yes.
Do you think that usually there's another way to say something? So, you know, I think a lot of people do feel unhappy or angry or uncomfortable about different words being used. And so I guess the question is, do you think that if we all became much better at knowing the meanings, the emotional impact of various words, we might be less likely to make people unhappy?
I think yes, I do.
Okay, it sounds like happily you've never been in a situation— well, have you ever made anybody unhappy by saying something or the way you said something?
I probably have.
Okay, and I think that it's sort of another layer of thought. What I'm thinking about is normally we just say what we want to say, whether we're writing or we're speaking, but then if you add a layer of thought of how is the reader going to respond emotionally to this word, or in conversation, how is the listener going to respond emotionally to this word, It's kind of— do you know what I mean by another layer of thought?
Yes.
So I see that as useful insofar as we want to communicate effectively. Would you say you want to communicate effectively with your readers?
Yes, I do.
And do you want to communicate effectively with your conversational partners?
Yes, I do.
Yeah, that's— I would expect so. And that's why I think it's useful, especially— well, I guess there are a couple of situations. When I talk about people getting angry or frustrated or unhappy, sometimes we use words that are maybe not very sensitive. You know, there's a classic example. Suppose you had an aunt who was visiting and she was wearing a hat that you thought was really ugly. Would you say, "Oh, Auntie, what an ugly hat!" or would you find a different way to say it?
I find a different way to say it.
Exactly. We know she's not going to be happy if you call her hat ugly. And so I think there are a lot of situations like that where we want to try to be careful about how we say things. But those are the kind of being not hurting people. It's fair to say you don't want to hurt people by accidentally using words to hurt them, right?
Yes.
But then the other thing is, on a positive side, I could imagine, um, you know, suppose you won a jiu-jitsu tournament. There are different ways you could explain it. Would you say there have been some jiu-jitsu tournaments that were more exciting to win and others that were less exciting to win, or it's all exactly the same?
There's definitely more, uh, like, let's see, tournaments that I would have liked to win more than some of the other tournaments. Maybe it only happens a little bit, or like, for instance, PANS, when I did that last year, I wanted to win that more than all the World Leagues that I do.
How, how do you communicate? So suppose you have this super exciting thing, winning a tournament, a special tournament. How would you communicate it so people got that this one's a really big deal? Um, if I was the one managing it, or if you were communicating, you won this tournament and you want to explain to people it's not just any tournament, this one's a really big deal.
Um, I mean, I tell them straightforward that, hey, if you win this, you're the best in something, or this is really special because it only happens once a year and I want it You know, that's absolutely the case.
I bet you would also be excited, your voice would be excited and that kind of thing. Is that accurate?
Yes.
See, that's the tricky thing about speaking versus writing. In voice, you know, we can communicate emotion. Here I am talking with my hands. We can communicate emotion in all sorts of ways by our facial expressions, by our hands, by how excited we are. I would say one of the challenges of writing is you don't have your human self. You know what I mean?
Yes.
So suppose you were writing a story about winning this super big tournament. Do you think if you just said it's once a year, that's enough to explain why it's a big deal?
No.
So how would you kind of build up so the reader got, wow, this is a really big deal?
I could tell them multiple things, say maybe I had to drive something hours there, I had to fly something hours there, or maybe the medals are heavier or something, or my rounds are longer, or maybe they say that, or they call it Worlds, or they say that if you win this, you're the best or something.
Those are all really great examples. There's actually a rule, you know, in writing there's sort of rules, but you can always break the rules, but there's kind of a rule in writing stories and what they say is show, don't tell. Do you have any idea what they mean by that?
Um, not really, no.
Okay, no problem. So you were, I would say you were showing, not telling. So if you just tell in one line, "This tournament was a really big deal," the reader sort of gets it, but the reader would get it a lot more if you said, "We drove for so many hours and I was thinking about it with great excitement. It was a world tournament that only takes place once a year. The best jiu-jitsu, you know, students in the world are there, and the medals are really huge, and I came close but didn't quite get it last year." That is, if you kind of conveyed all of the experiences you had that made it emotionally a big deal for you, then the reader would understand from inside your experience why it was such a big deal. Does that make sense?
Yes.
And a lot of it is giving details. I think a lot of great writing, you give a lot of details. And the reason for that is, yeah, even when you told me so many hours, oh, you know, some tournaments are maybe 15 minutes away, that's not as big a deal That's a tournament where you drive or fly 5 hours. And that totally makes sense. I hadn't thought of the medals being bigger. Now that's interesting that big tournaments, the medals are bigger. And so even the details you gave me gave me a much more concrete sense of, oh, wow, I see what it's like for Alana to experience this such that it is a big deal. Make sense?
Yes.
So that's kind of what show, not tell means. Show means show all the details. Don't just tell us this is big deal, 'cause the word's big deal, okay. Does it make sense that giving the details would result in the reader understanding better what you're talking about?
Yes.
Okay. No, I think it's— I'm not very good at this actually when I write, but I don't have patience for details. But I think a lot of great writing really, part of what you wanna do is you wanna give your reader the experience of being there. What is it like for Ilana to go to this tournament? And, you know, there's a level of detail that's too much, but, you know, a certain amount of detail helps them experience it. So we kind of got lost down that rabbit hole. How is your novel going, or tell me how your writing's going?
It's going good. I haven't gotten to work on it lately, but I'm cooking up some ideas in my head, and I think it's going to be great.
Is it going to be similar to your previous books, or is this one new or different?
This one is similar to the previous ones, to the previous two books, but it's going to have a different plot, obviously, and I want it to be the last book in the series.
Got it. Well, um, do you think that you want to try a little bit of, on the one hand, thinking about the emotional connotations of words Yes. And on the other hand, um, showing, not telling, that is giving details so the reader can experience what it's like to be there?
Yes.
Okay, um, well, I would love to read it when you get it done. And, um, do you have a timeline? Is it like a week, a month, 6 months, a year? What's your timeline?
I don't really have a timeline. I just I write when I— I'm going to try and write when I can or just think about it and then execute it.
Totally fine. Well, whenever it's done, I very much look forward to reading it. So I will let you go off and have a wonderful day. And always good to talk. Bye-bye, Alana.
