Valentine's Day & Relationships: The missing conversation about money

Be one of a kind with Mike's Plan.

Welcome to the One of a Kind Financial Show Daily. It's Friday the 13th, and we're going to talk about love. I mean, everybody is freaked out. They're scared about this day. But the beautiful thing about this Friday the 13th is tomorrow is a day for the lovers of love. This Valentine's Day, what if your most important love conversation isn't about gifts at all, but it's about money? Uh, on, uh, the One of a Kind Financial Show that will air on February 14th and 15th all across America, we're gonna give you a sneak pro— a preview from a segment on that show where we talk about why shared values matter more than income when it comes to financial wellness. As you're making the plans for Valentine's Day and to be with your loves, Uh, most of all, tell the love of your life or the person that you love to be with that they are one of a kind. Build them up, and, uh, you'll see that your life will be enhanced by that.

So here we go. Valentine's Day is here, and everywhere you look, love is being marketed to us. It's cards, it's candy, it's dinner, it's gifts. But today I want to talk about a version of love that doesn't get nearly as much attention. That's how money shows up in relationships. Mike, People often think financial success as a couple is about income, but is that really the case?

It's one of the biggest misconceptions, Gary. Income plays a role, but it's not the deciding factor. What really determines financial wellness in a relationship is alignment— how well 2 people understand each other's values, goals, and expectations around money.

So when couples say, if we just had more money, things would be better, that's usually something happening underneath that statement, Mike?

Often that statement is really about stress, uncertainty, or just uncomfortable. Maybe there's an inequality in income in that family. More money feels like a solution because it promises relief. It's just like being out in the cold over this winter, right? The air, the heat in your house provides relief from the cold. But if 2 people aren't aligned, more money can actually amplify the tension instead of fixing it.

Yeah, well, that's interesting because we tend to think that money solves problems. Am I right?

It solves some problems, but it cannot solve miscommunication or mismatched priorities. If one partner values security and the other values flexibility or enjoyment, that difference will surface regardless of the income that comes into the household.

Well, you mentioned alignment. Let's talk about alignment more specifically. What does financial alignment actually look like in real life, Mike?

Well, it starts with a word that we don't talk about a lot. It's a term called clarity. Alignment means both people understand what money represents to the other. For some, money equals safety, knowing the bills are paid and the future feels stable. For others, money represents freedom, experiences, or even generosity. Neither is wrong, but ignoring those differences create friction. So what we have is a communication problem when we, when we should have a clarity problem.

What's that line from that movie? What we have here is a failure to communicate, right? Oh my gosh.

Look at you, Gary, bringing in a famous line from a famous movie, adding value today to this, to this conversation on Valentine's weekend. That's my man, Gary Nolan.

There you go. The show is the One of a Kind Financial Show. I'm Gary Nolan, your consumer advocate. With us each week at this time is Mike Milligan. And Mike is with One Oak Financial. I want to give you the phone number, get on the calendar, get you all set up with that comprehensive plan. There's no cost, there's no obligation. Get on the phone right now. Let's get started. 800-748-1838. It's still early in the year, it's still only February, and you got plenty of time to get your financial house in order for 2026. 800-748-1838, or text the word ideas to 600-700. The Folks at One Oak Financial are standing by right now, ready for your phone call. Get on the calendar. So, you talked about friction. So, what about friction often shows up in arguments and overspending, Mike?

Exactly.

And most of the time, the argument isn't really about the purchase. It's about what purchase means. A dinner out might feel like joy and connection to one person, and it may feel like irresponsibility To another.

And that explains why money is such an emotional topic, Mike.

Oh man, Gary, money is deeply emotional. It's not barely emotional. It's not surface level. It's tied to your upbringing and past experiences and sometimes financial trauma. That's why avoiding money conversations, including going back to ask, what is your first money memory? Um, it doesn't bring peace. It just delays discomfort.

So why do you think couples avoid having these conversations, Mike? I guess it's difficult, I guess. Am I right?

You know, it's, it's all about vulnerability. Um, when you, when you communicate, it forces honesty about fears and habits and sometimes even mistakes. But avoiding them doesn't protect the relationship. It erodes trust.

So how do couples start having healthier conversations without becoming a source of conflict, huh?

Oh my gosh, guys. If you love your spouse, if you're deeply committed to long-term growth with them, and money is a problem, it starts with intention, not numbers. If you start the conversation with money about, this is how much money we have, this is about how much money we need, that will bring in more stress. Talk about the intentions. Build a future together, dream big, create a vision. And if you set aside what we call, when I say we, my wife and I, what we call a money date, where there's no judgment, no spreadsheets at first, just conversations, questions like, what do we want our life to look like? What are we working toward together? And when you have those conversations, guys, it feels, you start building something together. Now, My wife and I have been together for 5 years. And the interesting part about that is we've been constantly having this communication about what we want our life to be, and we're living it. We're living the one-of-a-kind life together. But I'm telling you, our financial plan is ever evolving. It's ever changing to kind of embrace the bigger and better dreams that we could think about. And that's because we're perfectly aligned on where we want to go, where our intentions are.

Got about a minute left, Mike, because that's very different than traditional financial advice. Am I right?

It is. At One Oak Financial, we don't start with the numbers. Numbers are important. Numbers is what makes dreams a reality. It's the vision behind what you want to end up doing in your one-of-a-kind life. But we start with people. We start with you because once values and goals are clear, we call that retirement chi, by the way. It's a vision for what you want your life to be. The financial strategy becomes just a tool to support the relationship instead of training it.

So tell us more about the One of a Kind Financial Plan, Mike.

It's unique, guys. It can solve so many problems. It can solve the problems of not having enough income in retirement or feeling stress and anxiety. It solves the problem of overpaying taxes, solves the problem of having misaligned risk tolerance with where you currently are in your life. It solves the problems at the end of your life where you could potentially be a burden on somebody, but we put a long-term care in place to do that. And it solves the problem of an unwritten, undisciplined approach to legacy. See, the one-of-a-kind financial plan, it will put on paper what is valuable and what's important to you, your life, your goals, your dreams, your expectations. And when it's there, it gives you the freedom to live a one-of-a-kind life.

This is your chance to benefit from the personalized income plan, that one-of-a-kind financial plan that Mike is just talking about. Call right now. We have a limited number of availabilities on our calendar this week. And remember, the consultation is offered at no cost or no obligation. 800-748-1838, 800-748-1838, or text the word ideas to 600-700.

This has been the One of a Kind Financial Show Daily with your host, Mike Milligan. I hope you've enjoyed these segments. From the One of a Kind Financial Show with Gary Nolan and I, I need to give you a reminder, and that is that I am an investment advisory representative with Advisory Alpha LLC, member SEC. Ideas by Mike, doing business as One Oak Financial, is an unaffiliated entity of Advisory Alpha LLC. All opinions expressed by me and Gary on on the One of a Kind Financial Show are for education purposes only, should not be construed as financial advice, and are solely our opinions. For more information on One Oak Financial, go to the number oneoakfinancial.com. And, uh, if you're interested more in about the book that I authored, The One of a Kind Financial Plan, You can go to amazon.com to, to read the reviews and find out more about that book.

Be one of a kind with Mike's plan. In a face shot growth, take a stand. Visibility, strategy, take the lead. Transformation's yours, fulfill the need. Mike's got the way to help you rise and stay. Leadership impact you'll find in your one-of-a-kind Be one of a kind. Take the flight. Mike's the guide. You shine bright. Shine bright.