You Needed Your Caregiver's Nervous System

What do we do as a little boy, little girl, if we're really upset and we're scared and we're hurt and we're sad and angry or whatever, and our parents do not come and soothe us and help us process and get into our body? Like before the age of 7, our prefrontal cortex isn't really developed. So our self-soothing capacity is really reliant on the caregiver's nervous system. So if the caregiver hasn't soothed themself, if the caregiver has a history of inherited trauma, pain, abuse, whatever, where they're in a high stress season, they're in conflict with their spouse whatever it may be, or if they also have a lack of capacity for emotions where they might say, "Quit your whining," which is one of the things I often heard, and discounted emotion, right? If they are not downregulated and regulated enough to help regulate another human being, now they're extending dysregulation.