Stop Trying to Solve Problems

Be determined. Push through, no matter what. Conquer your fears. Be a problem solver. These are all common idioms that traditionally hallmark role models and icons we celebrate. But while solving problems is a natural part of growing as a human and as an entrepreneur, it's all too easy to get stuck in problem solving mode and to stay there in the midst of problems much longer than you'd probably like to. Now, you and I both know that life is inherently filled with contrast, so there will always be problems to solve and solutions to find. So how do you move as quickly as possible from being stuck in a problem to flourishing in the solution? That's what this episode is all about. You're listening to the Universe has yous Business. It's the podcast for rising entrepreneurs, coaches, course makers, and change makers who are here to achieve more while letting the universe do the heavy lifting. And I am your host, Andrew Donovan. Well, I think it's easy to say that as a human race, we have learned to celebrate people who are determined, who are focused on solving problems. In fact, I mean, we develop awards, we give special recognition to people who solve big problems in the world. And I think it's really easy as an entrepreneur to get stuck in the mode of wanting to solve problems. And, and oftentimes we identify as problem solvers and we celebrate that ourselves. We say, oh, I'm a problem solver, therefore I'm not a quitter. I'm a problem solver, therefore that means that I don't give up. That means I'm not a pushover. That means that I'm committed to my goals. Now, all of this on the surface sounds good, doesn't it? Like, of course you don't want to. You want to be a problem solver, not a problem complainer or a problem accepter. However, I want to challenge an underlying concept with solving problems. Oftentimes as a coach, when I ask someone what they're working on or what's coming up next for them, they use the word stuck. They say, well, I'm just stuck with growing my audience. I'm just stuck with figuring out what my business model is. I'm just stuck with my money blocks. I'm just stuck with my limiting beliefs and I'm trying to overcome them. Or they say struggle. They say, I'm struggling with my limiting beliefs, or I'm struggling with fill in the blank. And this energy of struggle is usually what is connected to the idea of problem solving. You may remember if you ever read the book from Marianne Williamson, the Law of Divine Compensation. She says the energy of the solution does not exist on the same plane as the energy of the problem. And we really should have Marianne Williamson in on this conversation. Maybe we'll bring her in someday as a guest speaker. That would be amazing, right? Well, I love this idea because, I mean, when you think about the energy with your problem solving somewhere in your life or your business, where you just have a little bit of what we might call struggle, okay, let's not get too deep into that energy. But I want you to imagine what the solution for that would be. Now, the problem always feels heavy, dense. It feels depressing or worrisome, or maybe you've got some frustration or irritation, maybe even some anger, maybe some shame around the problem. That's the kind of descriptor. Those are the kind of descriptors we would use when describing a problem. Think about the solution to that problem. What do solutions feel like? Solutions feel like rejuvenation, refreshment, aha, moments. They feel like a light bulb going off. They feel like clarity, they feel like relief. Because if you've been stuck in a problem for a while and then you rendezvous with a solution, that feels like relief, right? It feels like weight off your shoulders, it feels like boosting your step. It feels like able to take easier strides forward. So those are totally different energies. And so often as a coach, when I'm looking at people who are struggling to overcome a problem or an issue, well, they have a hard time meeting the solution because they're so tuned to the energy of the problem. And, you know, this is something that we've really learned to celebrate almost in a flawed way as a human race. Personal development is so mainstream now, thank goodness. I love that. I love that there are so many books out, so many inspiring YouTubers and Instagrammers. I mean, it's just, it's so easy to find edifying motion forward content. And that being said, sometimes it gets us really fixated on the problems because we think, you know, I want to be the creator of my life. I want my life to get better. Therefore, I need to list out the things that aren't working, and I'm going to fixate on those until I can get them to whip themselves into shape or I can whip them into shape. And then once I've solved those problems, I. Then things will be better. Does this sound like a familiar dialogue? Because this is how most people seem to treat their realities. You've got some stuff in your reality that's observable that you don't agree with, that you don't want more of that. You dislike whatever, and you think, well, I'm going to be a problem solver, and in order to do that, I must fixate on the problem. But my friend, what are you doing when you fixate on the problem? You're just tuning to the energy of the problem. And Law of Attraction is always listening. And so what do you receive more of? More of the problem. And so now you might be thinking, wait a second, this doesn't make sense. Because I definitely can think of some areas in my life where I've solved problems. And while that might be the observable truth, I'm gonna fill you in on something that you might not have been aware of. Solutions never come because you are fixated on the problem. Solutions come in spite of your resistant thought. Solutions come in the gaps of resistant thought. Whenever you're fixated on a problem that's pushing against right? That's you raising your fist, shaking it in the air, saying, I will not stand for this problem. I will not take this injustice, or I will not accept this thing that I do not like anymore that is very resistant thought. Are we agreed there? And anywhere in your life where you think that you solved a problem by focusing on the problem, I'm gonna tell you right now, the solution came in the gaps between your resistant thoughts. Because energy always meets, like energy. If you're super tuned into problem energy, you're not a match for solution energy. They're totally different vibes. And that would be like an angry, outraged person walking into a party. And all the fun people at the party wanting to gravitate toward that angry person and have fun with them. The fun people will go to a different side of the room where other fun people are, right? No one wants to vibe with totally off energy. Well, your problem solving and solutions are the exact same thing. So I've been thinking a lot about this. I used to take a lot of pride in my determination because I've always been a pretty determined person. If I set my sights on something, I would just go in that direction and make sure that I made progress and achieved it and solved my problems. But the thing is, people don't want to let go as long as there's another thing that they can try. So you've got a problem and you think, I can't let go of this. I can't trust the universe. I can't put it in God's hands, really, because there's something else that I could do about this. Can you relate? There's one more thing That I think I could say to this person. Or one more tactic that I could try for this marketing issue in my business. There's one more thing that I could do to whip my employee into shape. Whatever. Whip my kids into shape, my spouse, myself. Right. As long as there's one more thing you can try. Well, that determination tends to turn into attachment to your own problem. Which is actually really counterintuitive, kind of ironic. Now, one of the things that I've really been practicing. In my own life and business lately. Is the idea of thinking versus chilling. Now, if you are in agreement that there is a law of attraction. That the universe has your back, that things are working out for you. Well, you know that when there's a problem, simultaneously a solution exists. Correct. I mean, this is just a quantum physics conversation. As soon as you're aware of a problem, you have launched a desire. You have become aware of a need for improvement. And you live in an abundant universe where all possibilities exist simultaneously. So your solution exists while you're looking at the problem. You're just tuned to the problem instead of the solution. So I've discovered in my own life that I tend to try to use my intellect to make things happen. I try to use my intellect and my will to fix things, to solve problems. To run through imaginary scenarios where I'll revisit the past and think, well, what should I have said? I didn't like how that person did that. And I'll try to imagine future scenarios where maybe someone says something to me that I don't like. And I'll try to preemptively think how I'll address it next time. But it's always in this, like, negative, emotional, negative vibe kind of way that I'm going about this. And that feeling of trying to use your intellect. To use your mind to solve problems. It's not wrong. It's just a much harder way of going about it. And so what I've been practicing myself lately instead. Is this idea of just chilling. So if I'm thinking, I'm usually thinking about the problem. That's just how my brain tends to work. And if I'm chilling, meaning I'm not trying to use my intellect or my will to make something happen. To make something get better. I'm just trusting that the universe has my back. I'm trusting that the wiser mind of the universe. Has factored in all obstacles, all limits, all possibilities, all opportunities. And is prepared and eager to unfold a less resistant path in front of me. A more inspired path. In front of me. And so just this last week, I went to an Abraham Hicks workshop, and I had such a good time. And in fact, I should probably do an episode where I just list all the things I learned from that workshop, because there were many. Normally, when I go to that kind of workshop, and if you're unfamiliar, it's a Law of attraction workshop. So it's just a few days where people are raising their hand, asking questions, and then exploring how to address the things that they want to improve in their lives from a Law of Attraction philosophy. Normally, in these workshops, I take a lot of notes. Are you a note taker? I'm scribbling down my things down. My brain is just lighting up like a light bulb. I'm using my strategic thinking to apply. To figure out where I can apply what I'm learning into my life. And I usually bring questions for my own life, my own relationships, my own businesses to these workshops. Well, this time it was a little bit different. Instead of doing so much thinking, I just felt like the right thing was for me to chill. So I leaned back in my seat, I put my arms up, I got comfortable, and I just breathed easy. And I just listened to these amazing talks, these amazing workshop segments, and just kind of took in the vibe. And I wasn't worried about how can I use what I'm learning to fix things in my life that I want to get better. Instead, I just reminded myself that things are always working out for me anywhere in my life where I want improvement, the improvement's already been granted, the solutions already exist. I just want to tune my own frequency. I want to tune my own vibe to that improvement. And so my intent in these workshops this past week was just to chill. And I felt like I was in such a receptive mode. It was really remarkable. It felt rejuvenating. I could literally feel the coolness of the air in the room just filling my lungs, and the lightness of the good vibes in that room just lightening my mind, lightening my thoughts. My mind felt so clear. And I definitely had a few moments where I thought, ooh, that's going to be so helpful for this thing that I've been working on in my life or my business or my marriage or whatever. But mostly I was just enjoying chilling. And what I came to determine is that when I'm using my mind, my intellect, to solve problems, it's not bad, but that's really just putting more energy into the problem, which makes my desire for improvement even more intense. Again, not wrong, but I'm not going to get to the solution until I shift from thinking to chilling. And that chilling, that chill factor, go take a chill pill. That was what I told myself. And so I love intellect. And I think that it's such a cool thing that we can use our brains to mentally review areas of our life where we want to find solutions, seek improvement. But what I remind myself is that it's not up to me to do all the heavy lifting here. In fact, the best moments are when I get out of the way and let Law of Attraction do the work. And that's really what I want to invite you to consider at the end of this episode here. So we went over earlier in the episode, the difference between the energy of a problem and the energy of a solution. And I want you to consider one word that kept coming to my mind this past week. Refreshment. What does refreshment feel like? And if you've got a problem that you want to solve, well, it's opposite, its counterpartner is really refreshment. Right? Because say there's something specific that you've been, say you've been, quote, unquote, struggling with limiting beliefs about money. Okay? I mean, we don't have to even talk about the energy behind that because most people are familiar with that energy. Well, if you were to all of a sudden wake up to an instantaneous, miraculous, serendipitous solution for that struggle, what would that solution feel like? You would feel so refreshed that you've now shifted from that denseness to this lightness. You've shifted from worry to assurance. You've shifted from stress to. To relief. So I would like to invite you to consider, just for the next day or two, that feeling of refreshment, that's really the energy that you're going for. And what I found is when I can focus on tuning to that energy, that feeling space of refreshment at an internal level, well, now I'm tuned to the same energy of all the solutions that the universe has lined up for me. And all of a sudden, because I changed what I'm tuned to internally, now Law of Attraction gets to do all the work for me. I don't have to go out and push to overcome problems. The solution already existed. And because I've tuned myself to that energy of refreshment, refreshing things can now come to meet me. Law of Attraction brings me the right conversation at the right time. It brings me the right idea, the right light bulb. Aha. Moment at the right time, it brings me the energy to do something that maybe I was feeling lethargic about. It brings me a new way of going about something that hadn't been working before. And so as you practice this, as you practice tuning to that feeling of refreshment, you're going to notice that it is very different than being a problem solver. Again, nothing wrong with being a problem solver, it's just a much harder way of going about things. If you can spend a little while, maybe even wake up in the morning, meditate for 10, 15, 20 minutes, and then just settle into that internal heart space in your center and ask, what does refreshment feel like? Invite the feeling of refreshment to be your focal point for the morning, for the afternoon, for the day. And then watch as Law of Attraction brings you things that match that energy of refreshment and you will be so delighted when you see how many problems solved themselves without you being the problem solver because you were tuned to a different vibe. Alright my friend, well, I hope that you have loved this episode and I wish you many refreshing solutions in the days to come. If you found something useful in this episode, do me a favor, hit that subscribe button and then spend 30 seconds just typing a little nugget in the reviews on Apple Podcasts. Those reviews and the five star ratings are really what help us get the word out so we can keep producing valuable content like this and inspiring messages. So thank you so much for supporting the podcast and me and my team by taking a few moments to write a review to rate and subscribe. So best of luck to you as you tune to your feeling of refreshment and I will see you on the next episode.