A short YouTube monologue by Molly McPherson criticizing Dakota Johnson as an actress, calling her "bland" and "one-note." The speaker references Dakota Johnson's rumored breakup with Chris Martin, compares her to Melanie Griffith, credits Johnson with involvement in Ellen DeGeneres's downfall, and links her prominence to the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon. The piece is opinionated, colloquial, and focused on celebrity commentary.
Chapters
We were talking about Chris Martin's breakup from Dakota. Oh, from Dakota Johnson. And I'm so sorry, but there has there ever been a more bland actress than Dakota Johnson? I mean, that is. Here's my brain too. My brain. She exploded. You know, Melanie Griffith, Don Johnson's daughter. She is applesauce with a side of white milk and white toast. She is so bland and so boring. She is the most one note actress that's ever lived, in my opinion. High point. She's an honest creature. Like when she, she was a part of the Ellen DeGeneres downfall. Right. So we gotta give her credit for that. But I find her to be so bland and, and she became big because of 50 shades of gray, you know, and, and I do so much work with publishers, believe it or not, you know, and so I, I, I know more about the industry than I really should. And you know, that was a part of the big independent publisher, just Wade, you know, wave. And then that 50 shades of gray became huge. She was just an independent writer like so many of them are. The only reason she. Because she took down Ellen, full stop. Thank you, Chris, for supporting me on that one. The only memorable. Louise, I can't think of a single movie she's in 50 Shades of Gray.
