Afraid Your Twin Soul Might Die on You? Here's What's Really Happening

Hey there, sovereigns! Monica Grace from cardreadingqueen.com here. Today's content is afraid your twin soul might die on you. Here's what's really happening. And this is going to be another one of my storytime episodes, so I'm going to talk about what has happened in my own life, and then it is going to be relevant to the topic. And I do want to say that if you're watching this on YouTube, I am back with my regular lighting setup. It's it's been a while since I've done this. I, um, you know, I— it's been, it's been a little challenging to film, and my thought was that I would just get something out, and then it kind of continued, so I did like a number of episodes just on my phone. So I am gonna try to start using my regular camera, which is a T7i Rebel Canon and my regular lighting setup. And I got a second set of lights, so I have one set of lights for my overhead setup and then one set of lights here. And so the only thing I really have to adjust at this point would be the camera. So I'm gonna try to start using this setup more often because I really like this setup and I think it creates a better just a better quality video. And if you're listening on the podcast, none of that matters to you, so just completely ignore that. All right, so afraid your twin soul might die on you? Here's what's really happening. I've told this story before on this channel, but basically I had one of the biggest upsets that I've ever had in my life, uh, I— and I had it twice. Basically. And what happened was somebody close to me, basically a partner, had told me— had said something to me, and it was just a very simple sentence, a benign sentence, not even the worst thing that they had really said to me before. But for whatever reason, I had taken it as a huge upset. And so I'll explain. So the first one, um, that was— well, the first one was a long time ago. I'll start with the more recent one because that's the one that I healed completely within the first couple months that it happened, which sounds crazy that I would have this upset for several months, but that was what happened. So my husband and I had been arguing about my business or our finances or something. I don't, I don't even remember. And at some point in the conversation, he said the sentence, "You've been a failure for the last 10 years." And so yes, that's not the nicest thing he could say. And he, you know, now that we're past this, I realized that he didn't mean it the way I took it. He meant it in a very specific way. He just meant like this quite small part of my business that I have been a little neglectful of was failing. And, uh, that's, that's really all he meant by it. And it was a part of the business that was important to him that wasn't as important to me. So, but he said this and it was massively triggering to me to the point where I wanted to end the relationship pretty much immediately. Like, like from the minute he said it, I was shocked, I was hurt, I was done. Uh, and, and it was, it was like, um, it was just one of those doors that you go through where it's like either this is going to end or— and for, for me at the time, because I was not understanding my own wounding, I was ready to end the relationship. The only reason I didn't end the relationship was because we were already married, and we'd not been married that long— I think 2 years, maybe 3 years at the time. And I, I, you know, I felt like I felt like it was over based on this one sentence. And I will, you know, I'll kind of explain what my actual wounding was behind the sentence. But based on this one sentence, I was ready to end the relationship. And so for months and months, we were not doing well. We weren't really speaking aside from coordination things like, okay, what are we getting for dinner? That sort of thing. Our relationship was really suffering, and we talked about this incident, and I told him how I felt about it, and he told me how he felt about it, and we were not making any headway. It was just— it was straight up a stalemate, uh, Two of Swords energy if you're familiar with tarot. We were, we were not getting anywhere with our conversations. And it went on like that for months where it was— we couldn't get past this. I couldn't get past this. And I remember telling him, if we were roommates, I'd move out. If we were girlfriend and boyfriend, I'd break up. If we were co-workers or, you know, had a business relationship, I would quit. If we were family, I would cut you off. I wouldn't speak to you anymore. And I just went on and on, and I was just like— my point was that aside from us being married, I, I would have cut this person out of my life. Uh, and we were married, and the reason that the marriage mattered to me— one, marriage is not— it's not easy to leave the marriage. Uh, and then that's by design. Like, people— you don't— you don't want to leave your marriage every time you get in a big fight, uh, or, or a little fight. So it's not easy to leave the marriage. Um, but the other thing is that marriage is very important to me. I don't— you know, I made a commitment and I was genuine in that commitment, and I wanted to stay and work things out. So the marriage had us tied together, even though I think on some level we both wanted out of the situation. At least I don't— I don't think he wanted out of the marriage, but I think we both wanted out of the situation. And so we did heal it, uh, and I'll, I'll explain what happened and I'll kind of unpack this now. So what I realized eventually, and this, this took me months, it took me months and months to realize it, and I went to Alaska, I went— I, I did this. We did this adventure. I was with one of my friends, my good friends. We did this adventure where we climbed a glacier and did some crevasse climbing. Like, basically we got on like the ropes and like climbed into these crevasses, and it was pretty intense. It was very scary. It wasn't like something I was, you know, it wasn't something I normally do. I'm not really a thrill-seeker type of person, but I was willing to hang with this group of women who wanted to do this. And so we climbed into these crevasses. It was pretty dangerous. And the company that we went with had a, no-death, uh, streak. So that was good, like nobody had died on their watch. But you know, we were like, it's Alaska, so there were chances of bears, there were chances of accidentally slicing your rope, there were chances of the rope breaking, you know. And, and it's like, if you fall into one of these crevasses, you would pretty much freeze to death and die. Like, there, there's not really there's a— it's very unlikely that they would be able to get you out, even with like helicopters and ambulances and everything. So we did this. It was very hard. Aside from dying, that piece of it, it was very hard. Otherwise, it was a very hard trek up the, up the glacier. There was a lot of gear. You had to carry all your stuff. It wasn't like an easy hike by any means. So after I did that, I was feeling pretty fearless because I was like, okay, clearly I survived this. And, you know, and I— and so I was feeling fearless, so I was, uh, willing to kind of examine my life a bit more closely. And I had been trying to have conversations with my husband to work through this issue But what I realized was that I, I was, you know, hyper-focused on this specific sentence that he said, and I realized that it was a pattern within me and it wasn't about him or about our relationship. The way I realized that is that I was working through something else and realized that I had broken up with a previous boyfriend the same exact way, basically, in, in the sense that, uh, he had also said like a seemingly like a fairly benign sentence, not the worst thing he probably ever said to me, and I had taken it so poorly and it had triggered my wounding so strongly that I basically just broke up with him and really did, like, really never talked to him about it or anything. Like, never. I, I mean, I did explain it, and, and even, even with that sentence, it was the same thing. Like, I tried to tell him how I felt, he tried to, he tried to explain, like, what he meant by it. I, like, it was just a— it was one of those conversations that just didn't go anywhere. And so that one, um, it was— he was basically, you know, we've been kind of talking about marriage, but we, we weren't anywhere close to taking any action on that. We actually didn't even live in the same city, and we were very young. And then all of a sudden he was like, uh, he was in the military and he knew he was gonna get deployed after college And very suddenly, I, I felt he, you know, with no real buildup to it, he was saying that we should get married so that if he dies overseas, that I would get his money. Was— and I don't, I don't, I don't even remember. I don't think he said it that way. That may not have even been what he said, but that was my takeaway from it. It was this idea that he was gonna go off to war and die, and then I was going to get like $60 grand that had been— that he had made, and that, you know, because I was his next of kin. So it— and it was, it was the same situation. It was so triggering to me. It touched on my deepest wound deepest wound, one of my deepest wounds. And so I broke up with him, and I honestly, I didn't even— like, I felt a lot of relief in breaking up. And it's not that— I mean, I didn't, I didn't regret it at the time. I didn't regret it afterwards, but— and I didn't really look back on it that much. Uh, because it felt— it just felt like— it felt like it was so painful before we broke up, and then we broke up and it was like the pain— like there was relief for that pain because the pain had been so intense for me. And then we broke up, like there was a lot of relief. And so I took that as a good sign. All right, so that So once I realized that I had done this before, then I was like, okay, I gotta figure out— like, this is about me. This is my wounding. This is not about what either of these men have said to me. All right, so what happened was it triggered— this triggered a lot of, um, a lot of things for me, and they turned out to be false beliefs. So the first one is that I am a writer, and thus words mean a lot to me. And when I say something, I mean it. Like, I don't say things that I don't mean. I don't really say things in a way that I don't mean them. I, I say things— I am, I'm a very direct person, and then I say things that I've thought about for a while. When it's important. When it's not important, it doesn't— like, sure, I'll just be speaking and it's normal. I'm not like overthinking my words. But when it would— when it's something that important, I would be very careful of what I would say. And so I would not ever tell somebody that they have been a failure for 10 years. That's just not something I would say to somebody. And then the same with the other one, like, uh, I would not say, you know, that somebody was gonna get, you know, get money from me after I died. Like, that's not something I would say to somebody. So for me, one of my false beliefs was that words meant more than they did. So for when I talked to my husband about this, he was like, I just misspoke, like I shouldn't have said it. And he kept saying that, and for for a long time I was like, well, clearly you meant it. You know, you're not— it's not like you just say that out of nowhere. And in truth though, he just, he didn't know that it was gonna hurt my feelings to say it that way and that was going to trigger me like crazy. And he wasn't being careful with his words because he didn't know that words meant more to me than they did to him, and he pretty much just misspoke. He wasn't very clear in what he was trying to say, and he just misspoke, and that's all it was. And so, you know, the healing— the healing was there in the more recent one, but then I kind of went back to the other one, and I realized it was the same situation where he was trying to say something else, and I took it really poorly. I took it very much the wrong way. So the next thing that triggered me about this was that it was a— and the reason I was like, I need to end this relationship immediately in both cases was because I believed that because this person said this thing, that they did not know me. And, um, you know, it was really, it was really this energy of 'If this is how little you know me, like if, if you know me so little that you would say this to me, then this relationship is not real. It's never been real. It's been a huge waste of my time. I've been fooling myself about the foundation of the relationship.' So what they were saying was very threatening to the foundation of what I believed I had with that person. And in the first one you know, my husband was criticizing my business, but he was really criticizing my, uh, divine purpose. Uh, when, when I got down to it, it's like, why does my business matter to me? Because I believe I'm doing what I was put on earth to do. It's not just a business to me. It's like who— it's really about like who I am. And that is still true today, but I have to separate that piece of it from— it's an act— it's also an actual business that needs care around finances. And, you know, the way I took it though at the time, because I hadn't been able to separate those things, I took it as, you know, that me being myself was, was unattractive to him, and that I, you know, that he didn't want me to be who I am was kind of how he took it. So it was a criticism of my divine purpose. And then with the, the one before that, it was actually— I, I realized later, much, you know, this and the other one happened I don't know, like 15 years ago at this point, but it had always really stuck in my mind. Like, it, it was, it was like one of the worst moments of my life, basically, was this, that situation in the past. What that one was is it was really about— I always felt unworthy of that person's love, and that person kind of demonstrated that the love wasn't as strong, um, on his end as it was on mine. So I always felt like I was kind of chasing him, and it just— it basically just confirmed that for me. It was showing me, or I believed at the time it was showing me, that he didn't really care if he left, left me, left the relationship, left Earth. Like, like, it just— and I don't, I don't think that was true for him. I think, uh, and I don't think he ultimately thought that all I cared about was getting money. I think it was just that if, if somebody's going to talk about marriage it wouldn't be for like a financial reason for me. Like I wouldn't get married for money. And so I took it really personally and took it as like, if you really think that I would get married for money or that I would prefer to have money over you, then you don't, like you just don't, you have no idea who I am. And, you know, it was, it was just a— it was, it's really the same thing at the end of the day. So one was around divine purpose or life purpose, the other one was just around like love and dreams and like desires for the future, family, romance. It was around that, but ultimately it was the same thing. So, and, and you could even say what was around like twin flames. Like, I, you know, I didn't— it was like, it was almost telling me like I was unworthy of my true love, uh, was how I was taking it. So it, again, it just, it just really threatened— both these sentences really threatened my understanding of the foundation of our relationship. And so I was like, well, if this relationship is not real. I, I want to end it now and move on because I want something that's real. I also believe that the issue was on the outside, that it was these situations, these people. But of course, it was always inside me— something you'll learn on the twin soul journey. Uh, so no single sentence can hurt you unless you internalize it. And this was something I had to really recon with because I was projecting all of my unworthiness and all of my desire for approval onto others instead of realizing that what they— what somebody says doesn't even matter. Like, my husband could say the same exact sentence to me today and it wouldn't even like penetrate me at all because I don't feel like a failure. In my business. And so I— and like the same with this other one, um, you know, it wouldn't penetrate me because I don't feel unworthy of love. So then the last one was that the love wasn't there. So I felt like with my husband, I felt like, well, he doesn't believe in my business, so he doesn't believe in my life purpose, so he doesn't believe in who I am, or he doesn't like who I am. 'So he must not love me.' Like, that was kind of the thought process, and it wasn't conscious, it was subconscious, but that was the thought process. And with the other one, it was like, he thinks that— it was really like, he thinks that I would marry him for money instead of love, and the relationship doesn't mean as much to him. Like, it really came down to the relationship doesn't mean as much to him. And so because of that, he doesn't love me. So it was the same thing. And what I had to realize about this was that, uh, both people could only love me as much as I love myself. So they were both just reflecting back the love I felt for myself. And again, they could say, you know, either of them could say this to me as I am, which is I've healed these things, and it wouldn't, it wouldn't like affect me at all really. It would just kind of float right, you know, float right off my back, um, wash, wash away very easily because I haven't internalized it any— or I don't have it internalized anymore that I'm unworthy of full expression of myself. And so the healing for me, um, I got real. For me, with my husband, it was really that I got real, um, about doing my life purpose. So it was the understanding that if I'm pursuing my life purpose, uh, my higher power, who I— which is God, but you can say the universe, source, spirit, your creator your higher power, whatever you want to call it. But for me, God is always going to support me in my life purpose if I'm fully aligned to what God calls me to do, what my soul calls me to do. I will always be fully supported, and that's been true for me with my purpose, which is building— you know, right now I'm building multiple businesses, but my businesses are basically what I'm doing right now. I'm, you know, I'm on camera, I'm sharing knowledge. I'm writing books about it. I'm creating courses about it, creating workbooks, decks. This is, you know, this is what I, what I do. I'm a creator, and I have a couple different topics that I do and a couple different brands, but ultimately I'm a writer and an entrepreneur, and pursuing that has been a great joy to me, and I've always been supported by God in that. So I had to realize that, uh, I can never be a failure at my life purpose. And I had to realize that for myself. It wasn't, it wasn't something external. And it was really this understanding that I, I can't be a failure because as long as I— like, like, there's nothing else to do in life besides pursue your life purpose and pursue your dream life. So I had to realize that it was a desire, and no matter— like, my business could fall apart tomorrow and I'm still not a failure because I'm pursuing my life purpose. So the second thing, um, and with the, the one about the, uh, guy going off to the military I basically— what I realized about that one, and I— and it took me a really long time to dig down into the core of this, and it was really that Atlantean healing that I've been talking about on my channel, on my podcast. Uh, today is July 8th that I'm recording this. I did the Atlantean healing with Kelly from The Purple Priestess on June 13th. So it's been a couple weeks, but in that there was this thing about my twin soul dying, uh, and how my heart left. Like, when he left this world, my heart left with him, uh, was the thing. And so I feel like that was there for me, that story was there. And, and you can, if you want to hear that story I think it's in a video that I made, and I think it's called something like, should you work with healers on the twin soul journey? So you can go look that up. You can go to cardreadingqueen.com/youtube. You can check out my podcast, Your Twin Soul Journey. It's on all sorts of platforms, uh, anywhere that— pretty much anywhere that you can— you would listen to a podcast. You can check out that episode if you want to hear specifically more about what it was, but I don't want to— I don't want to go through it again because this is getting longer. Um, so specifically though, it was— it reminded me of the situation because at that moment, you know, my greatest fear was that, uh, my boyfriend at the time was going to go off to war and die, and then that I was gonna get this like lame consolation prize, which is, you know, like I said, like $60,000. And I don't know how much it would have been, but that's kind of the number that is in my mind right now. I was gonna get this really lame and worthless consolation prize, and I was trying to think like, what, what was that really about? And I realized what it was really about was that I believed at the time that this person was the love of my life and like when I looked into his eyes, like I saw everything I wanted in all my dreams. Like all my dreams for life was— they were wrapped up in this person. And so I had to realize, and this is a, this is a fairly recent realization, I had to realize that my dreams are not outside of me. Like nothing Nothing you desire is outside of you. None of your dreams are outside of you on this journey. So my dream was not outside of me ever. Um, and I had been even like, I had even been holding on to that for so long that somebody outside of me could take away my dreams. Um, so yeah, it was that I'm— so the first part of that was that I'm even worthy of my dreams. And I believe that now. Like, I believe I'm worthy of any dream I have. But then the second one was Even if someone, even if my twin soul abandoned me through death, I'm never gonna abandon myself. And that is a little bit confusing, but when you're thinking about this question, if your twin soul might die on you, but when you really think about it, you can understand the truth of it, that if your twin soul did die, it it's because you are abandoning yourself, because you and them are the same. You make the same choices. I had to realize that my dreams were not outside of me, and I had a codependency with this person where I believed that they were my dream. And for them, you know, I, I, well, I guess I don't know their dreams, but at the time it seemed like I was not really a part of their dreams and we weren't really, we weren't really going in the same direction. It didn't seem like they wanted something else and they were going off to pursue that and I wanted them. Um, so in breaking up, so, so I did break up with the other person from the past. And so I thought for a while I felt like he had abandoned me in my dream, and, and really I never thought it was his fault. I just thought we want different things, but I was still pretty angry about it, and I, I really blamed him for it. And then I, I stopped doing that, and I switched into blaming myself, which was also not fruitful. Like, it didn't, didn't, didn't get me anywhere I wanted to go. So then for a long time I was blaming myself. And for a long time what I believed was that I had been selfish, in that I had, I had chosen myself and in doing so abandoned him when he had been asking me to stay with him and help him through this situation that he was— that he had signed up for, basically, like going off into the military. So I thought I had been selfish in choosing me. What I realized though over time is that the whole time none of that was true. It wasn't him abandoning me. It wasn't me abandoning him. What it was is me abandoning myself, and that, that's what it had— that's what it was the whole time. And so that's what I was projecting onto him. That's, you know, I had projected that onto him, that he felt abandoned when really— and then I had also projected that I felt abandoned and projected the blame onto him. But really what was happening is that I had abandoned myself in that situation. And the thing that— the ways in which I abandoned myself, one is that I believed my dreams were outside of myself, because after that I didn't I didn't really believe I could be happy. Um, and I, you know, I knew I was gonna keep pursuing life. I tried really hard to get my life back on track, which ended up with me marrying somebody, something completely different, who was very, very wrong for me ultimately. Who— and that's not important. So I believe that my dreams were outside of myself and that my dreams were something— especially my dreams in love and romance— were something that somebody else could give me instead of something that was inside myself and that would attract the right person and would attract my true love, my true twin, twin flame, twin soul. And then I also, in that moment and in abandoning myself, I realized that I was also rejecting God. And this said, you know, that was kind of the beginning of when I lost faith in God. And I had, up until then, I had been— I had known God through religion. I had not— and, and then during that time, I was, you know, drifting further and further away from God. But this moment was one of the I don't know if the word is pinnacle. It was a pinnacle moment in stepping away from God. And what that really was, was believing that— I was believing in randomness over magic ultimately. I was believing that, okay, sometimes you just fall in love with people and they don't love you back. And um, you know, and it was this belief that life is random like that, and it's not. It's not random at all. The truth of twin souls is that you, you only love your twin soul ultimately, and that the, the whole entire goal of the journey is to get to know yourself and uncover the truth of yourself so that you can recognize your twin soul and the love you've had for them all along. It's really about releasing the separation that you've created from your love and, and your true, your true love, basically yourself and your true love. And at that moment, I, I believed I was the victim. I believed that God had betrayed me. That he had made me fall in love with someone who ultimately was not going to return that love. And it just, it wasn't true. And I, I see that now, that it was— I was just not, not believing, not having faith that loving myself would bring my love to me as well. So the healing for me— and I, I feel like the he— I feel like this healing is finally complete. So I, I believe I've talked about this before. I don't know if I've posted talking about this before, but I think I've tried to talk about this before. But I had not really understood what the past issue was. I understood I had healed the, healed the more recent issue by realizing that I had done the same thing in the past, which told me it was a pattern. But in healing the recent situation, it, for, it wasn't healing the past situation still. And so I was trying to, you know, and I, I spent months like, like doing this work, and I know this work really well, I know the law of attraction really well, and I still couldn't figure it out. I was just like very confused as to why I couldn't heal it, um, for myself. And it, it was this recent healing and hearing that story about the dying and like my heart leaving with him, like healing that, hearing that story again was just like, it, it really forced me to look at, well, what what does this symbolize to me? What, what was that person symbolizing to me? And it was, you know, like something I had either said about him or said to him at some point was, um, that I could look into his eyes and see everything I wanted, all my dreams. And I realized, uh, thinking back on that, I was like, oh, He, he represented me believing my dreams were outside myself. And so it finally came full circle. So if— go back to the, the original topic— if you are afraid that your twin soul might die on you, what you're really afraid of is that you can abandon yourself. And being able to abandon yourself is an illusion. And it's, it's an illusion you can buy into. It'll cause you a lot of pain and a lot of heartbreak for a long time, but ultimately you can't abandon yourself, you can't abandon God, and you also can't abandon your twin flame or your twin soul. All those things are true. And if, if that is confusing for you, check out my content. It's called It's, it's something about the twin soul trinity, um, the twin soul trinity and why you have to understand it to get into your twin soul union. So check out my content on the twin soul trinity, which explains this in more depth. Uh, it— this, this has been very powerful for me, and I didn't until I heard that on the Atlantean healing recording, I did not think that this was still a wounding for me. I hadn't figured out what the issue was with that older, you know, that terror, you know, that sentence from the past. I had— I still hadn't figured that out, but I didn't, I didn't realize that it was about abandonment and now, now this feels so complete. Um, and, and I, I truly feel like, like for a very long time that situation has been painful for me to look back on that and to, to, um, to really question whether I made— I guess question whether I made the right choice, or it wasn't, it wasn't really question whether I made the right choice, but question why God had led me there when it didn't work out. And now I understand that, um, this was my wounding. This was, this was the big wounding that I had to deal with. And I've, you know, I've been thinking about it more and realizing that this is probably the biggest wounding around my twin soul journey, um, is, is that I see my dreams outside of myself somehow, or I see— I feel a lack of power around my dreams. So I hope this was helpful to you. And yeah, I, I feel like I've been talking for a while, so, um, I hope it was helpful to you. I hope you enjoyed it. Uh, You know, have— thank you so much for watching. Thank you so much for listening if you're listening on the podcast, and have a beautiful and blessed day.