Embrace Your Drama To Get Closer To Your Twin Soul Union #twinflame #divinemasculine #divinefeminine

Hey there, sovereigns! Monica Leonellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellellelle And I'm also, you know, I don't know if I talk about this much, but I also have several businesses and I'm doing a somewhat big revamp of one of my businesses and it's just taking a lot of time. So, um, I think I'll probably be doing a couple casual videos like this in the coming months, um, just in order to get some content out. So the topic today really comes from this book I'm reading called Existential Kink. It's by Carolyn Elliott. It's a great book. I love it. And I am a little tough to impress these days with books, especially because, well, first I read a lot of books, so that's part of it. And I just read a lot in general. And then I also I, I kind of struggle to find books that don't give me a lot of information that I already know or that I've already learned, because I think— and as somebody who writes a lot of books as well— I think books are typically used to introduce people to a topic. So something— sometimes that's really helpful. Sometimes you really want to go into something deeper or more advanced and there's just no opportunity to do that through a book. So this book is great. It's, it's going to be really good for you if you know a lot about the law of attraction already. It's, it's really going to take you deeper into some of the concepts. And I don't know, I think it's a very— I think it's a good book if you're intermediate to advanced. So that's why I like it. So the reason I wanted to talk about this book is because she talks about a principle of the law of attraction that a lot of people get wrong. And the gist of it is that if it's something that's in your reality, it's there because it's teaching you something, but also because on some level your subconscious wanted it to be there. Now, a lot of people hear this and they think that it's all about blame and shame, and they, you know, they blame and shame themselves for this, like, oh, it's my fault that I got really sick, or it's my fault that my twin doesn't text me back, or whatever it might be. And that's not really the case, because I think what I love about what she says is that in your conscious mind, you absolutely do not want the situation, but it's your subconscious that has some attraction to it, and the subconscious is what's driving that. Uh, so the book is— the book is great, highly recommended. Um, what I— how I think it relates to the twin soul journey and why I encourage you to read it if you are on the twin soul journey is it really teaches you to embrace your drama and love your situation fully in order to transcend it, um, and in order to find peace within it. And so, um, one, one great example that I see in the twin soul community a lot is, uh, that people, they are in a relationship, or they— their twin soul is in a relationship, the person they think is their twin soul is in a relationship, and they want that relationship to end um, badly or on bad terms. And a lot of the time they're like, oh, you know, my marriage is over, I just want to leave. And then they're like kind of— they think they're running to their twin soul, but actually they're just running away from the problems of their marriage. Uh, and, um, what can I say about that? I guess what I would say is that if you want to leave a relationship, um, you— it's better on your ascension journey. And if you, if you didn't do this, it's totally fine. This is not a judgment, it's not a blame or shame type of thing. But, um, it's better to leave that situation, uh, having fully loved it and having fully poured all of your love that you can into it and leaving it in a state of complete peace. Um, and this is, this is something that I think people have trouble with on the twin soul journey. Um, and it really comes down to the, the issue is that if you leave the situation not in peace then that situation— you, you may get rid of the person, but that situation is just going to keep following you. Um, I've talked about this a bunch on my channel, probably. Uh, I know I've shared a couple stories about my divorce and how I, you know, wanted to leave my ex-husband. I, I left on— I left him on pretty bad terms. Like, we were, we were on bad terms. We don't speak today. We don't, we don't talk to each other. We like each other. We haven't spoken in years and years. I, I don't ever want to speak to him again. So we really left this situation on pretty bad terms, I would say. And we were able to do that because we didn't have any children together. We had sold our one asset that was tying us together, which was a condo that we owned. Um, and you know, other, other than that, our marriage was pretty straightforward. Like, we were able to settle all of our accounts and that sort of, that sort of thing. Um, and we have no, we have no like ties to each other, so we didn't have to really fix a lot of things. Like we never had to work things out. Um, and that, you know, that was healthy for me at the time. I don't know if I could have worked things out with, um, him, but some of the issues that we had continued to follow me into my next relationship. And this is a really common thing. Um, so basically I left that relationship to avoid, um, to like, like, sure, I, I left some of it in peace, but I left, I left a portion of it, um, in avoidance. And then when you avoid something, it really just pops back into your life with strong, with like a fuller force almost.. And so I've seen this happen to me a number of times in my life, um, with— and it really comes— the book, the book talks about this a lot. Um, the book also talks about just like letting yourself, um, like realizing that anything in your reality is something that your subconscious created because you secretly desired to experience it. And it talks a lot about releasing the shame of that. So with my divorce, for example, um, I do kind of wonder like why, why did my subconscious want to experience that? Uh, and you know, was, you know, I guess I would say like before when I was thinking about that, I did feel shame about it because it's like, well, you know, I've always, like as long as I can remember, always been attracted to essentially the twin soul concept, um, or like a soulmate concept. I didn't have the words at the time, but I always really wanted to find my person. And so why would I attract a situation where I got my person completely wrong, went down the completely wrong path, had it blow up in my face terribly and leave a bunch of scars that I then had to deal with and um, basically just marry— like, like, why did I want to marry the wrong person? Even in my subconscious, like, why did my subconscious want that? Why did my subconscious attract that? Um, and this book just tells you, like, basically to embrace your drama around that. Like, why did you want to— why did you subconsciously want to create drama around it? Um, and to really explore the pleasure of receiving the drama you wanted to create. So with the divorce, it would be like, well, what did I gain from— what do I gain from having a divorce on my record? Um, one of the things, and so I've been thinking about this, one of the things I think I gained from it is it's a interesting story. Like, I got married when I was 22. Um, the relationship was toxic and abusive, and I finally left it. And I, you know, I left it before we had children, um, very much on purpose. Like, that was the thing that spurred me out of it, was the talk of like, let's have children. Um, but you know, I do I do have a deep appreciation for that story now. I do use that story in, um, you know, I tell that story on this channel, I tell it, um, through my businesses. And so the idea of this book is really just like, what, what like weird pleasure do you gain from, you know, this, the situation? Um, and Can you, you know, can you let yourself without shame, without blame, enjoy that pleasure? Uh, so I was thinking about how this relates to other things. So, you know, that clearly, like, with relationships, that's a big one. It's like, what, what pleasure do you gain from the story that, um, you're telling yourself about this? So let's say your twin soul was with another person, or your twin soul blocked you, or whatever, uh, like, what's— what story does your subconscious gain from that? Um, you know, it could be that you really, you really like the tension, the drama. Um, you like checking every day, and you gain pleasure from checking every day. Did this person block me, or am I still blocked by this person? Or you take pleasure in the puzzle of trying to figure out like, what healing piece can I do to get unblocked? Um, and, uh, yeah, I think, I think there's, there's something for really all of us, including myself, there's something to consider there. Um, and, and she really gives you a different way to look at some of these things that your subconscious has attracted. So I wanted to tell a story, a positive story, about how I did transcend something through, through really like embracing the drama of it and loving it fully. So I was living, my husband and I, our first place when we were newly married. We lived in this very, like, it was basically a, um, it was like 1,000 square feet. It was a rental, had a really big yard. It was a very, like, old kind of rundown house, but it had 3 bedrooms, which was good for us because we both wanted offices. Before that, we had shared a 1-bedroom apartment with like gorgeous views. It was like right next to the lake, um, high-rise building. And we had shared that for a long time, and we both work from home, so that was a lot. Um, so we had this kind of smaller rundown home. Like, everything in the home was broken. Like, like literally every appliance was broken. Um, there were like weeds like growing into the going into the living room. Like, it was, it was not the nicest place. Um, and yeah, I, I wanted to move, like, without question. But we were living there for a year because, um, we didn't— we knew we eventually wanted to buy, and so we just figured we're gonna save up some money and we're going to buy a home within like a year or so. And so, uh, we spent like— so like right, like right at the beginning of spring, because here in St. Louis where I live, the housing market starts like March, um, and there's really nothing happening over the winter. So it's not like a— it's not that big of a city, um, where like other places, you know, over the winter, like it's always buying season in other places. Here it's really like March to maybe like October, November, and And then over the winter, it completely stops. Like there's just not a lot of sales happening then. So right at the beginning of March, we start this process and we didn't find a house till July that we wanted to buy. And it was like, we looked at like 100 houses. My husband was ready to give up. I was not. I was like very motivated to move. And so we finally found our house. Um, we made an offer, it was accepted. We had made an offer on a house previously and, um, it was not accepted. So we were, you know, this was kind of the house and it was, it was like a perfect house for us. I had, I saw the pictures of it online and I immediately was like, this is the perfect house for us. And then my husband saw it and he was like, it doesn't have a big enough yard. Which I was like, I don't even care about the yard. Like, everything else about this is perfect. Um, so, you know, we ended up, we ended up having a lot of drama around getting this house. Um, and it was, there were issues with the house that were causing a problem. There were issues with the sellers that were having, you know, we were just having problems working with them. Um, and it was, it was really like they were not getting back to their real estate agent, and they were, you know, they were just, they were just being difficult, I think. Um, then there were problems with financing the house. Um, not on our end. It was, it wasn't like a we don't have enough money thing. It was like a we don't know where the property lines are. We don't know, we don't know if there's like, um, you know, other, other issues with the house. And so we can't get this part of the loan financed. There was just a lot of stuff like that. Um, and so, you know, we're creeping up on our, on our closing date, kind of comes and goes, like we're not gonna close that day. Um, and, and this situation just kind of kept going and it was like, I think we were supposed to close, you know, sometime in September and, um, we didn't close for like another month or so. And we talked to so many people who to do like the loans and like, you know, our real estate agent was like, I don't think you guys, I don't think this house is gonna close 'cause there are so many issues. Our loan advisor, you know, we were on a call with them and they were like, I've never seen a loan like this go through with all the issues that we're having to underwrite it. And so it was just like this really sad thing. And, you know, my husband was like, again, like ready to give up. I was kind of in a place of like, I know this is my house. Like, like I just like knew it was my house. So I was not, I was not even looking at the details because I just, I couldn't. Um, and we, uh, you know, it did end up closing. So I, I had kind of like held space for it to close. But I realized that, um, the reason that it closed, and this has happened to me so many times, but basically it was the day that I accepted, like literally the day I accepted that, that I accepted to myself, like this house is not going to close. I am going to be living in my current, you know, house that I hate. For another year. And I had just like accepted it. And I was like, I'm just like, I'm, I accept it. I'm gonna be at peace with it that I'm probably gonna, I'm, I'm gonna be living here for another year. Like we're not gonna end up moving. And like, it was like that exact day that everybody starts to call us back and like, hey, you know what? We figured it out. The loan went through, you know, uh, you know what? We figured out this. Roofing situation, and, um, the sellers have decided to take it off, you know. And it was like this whole thing of like all the problems just, um, they started to just kind of go away, um, almost like melt away. It was kind of how I experienced it. And it was, um, it was just really corresponding to that one thing, like that, that desire to just be at peace with the situation as it was, you know, the release of control, the surrender, um, and, you know, kind of just embracing the chaos of it. Um, so I think that was a situation where I, I kind of accidentally just embraced the drama that I had in my mind of like, oh my gosh, I hate my house, and I— we have to move this year. I can't wait. Like, we have to get this house. Like, um, kind of just accepting that it was a story that I was telling myself. It was a drama that I was getting. I was getting a pleasure from it, um, in the sense that I, you know, I wanted to be— the pleasure I was getting from it was that I loved complaining about the house that we had, and I wanted to kind of keep— there was like that part of me that wanted to keep complaining about it, that wanted to be like, oh, it's such a terrible house, I hate our landlord, like it has all these issues, blah blah blah. Um, you know, we like— the other, the other thing was like, I deserve to live in a better house, was kind of like, like, I'm abundant, I'm worth it, you know. I had that attitude as well, even though that, you know, the house was not even representative of, um, my worth, obviously. But there was just, you know, it was just like a lot of, a lot of like pleasure I was getting from like just being angry about living in this house and like miserable in it. Um, so I released that and I was like, you know what, like this house is fine. We can live here another year. It's It's totally great. Um, we're just going to figure it out. And, you know, at least I have my own office. Like I just really surrendered to that piece. And then like all of a sudden our housing stuff went through. So that was really cool. So I've been thinking about, you know, some of that stuff in my life now, um, particularly around my business. Um, not this, not the twin soul stuff, not Card Reading Queen, but this other business that I have, um, and some of the drama that I have there. And just really trying to figure out like, how can I embrace it? How can, how can I embrace it? What pleasure am I secretly getting from it? And how can I just like feel into that pleasure? And it's almost you know, in some sense you can think of it like a guilty pleasure. Um, and it's that thing that you don't want to take pleasure in, but that you, you know, that you are experiencing pleasure from. Um, even right now, you know, the fact that I'm recording this at 11 PM, like there's some part of me that loves the drama of it. Like I said it at the beginning of the video, right? Like, ah, like, my life is so hard, I'm, I'm recording this at 11 PM because I have a baby, blah blah blah. And it's like there's some part of me that's enjoying the drama of that, of like, I'm, you know— and I think like if I were to guess what that is, I would say like, one, it's just fun to complain about your kids. People love to do that. But then also, you know, I feel like, like I'm a tough person, like I got grit, I got determination, I'm coming on I'm here to like serve, you know, serve my audience even though I'm exhausted. Like, there's— and there's like some pleasure that I'm getting out of that as well, instead of just like coming on and saying, you know, here I am, I'm doing— I'm gonna do my work and I don't need to mention what time it is, nobody cares, nobody can tell. Um, so that, that's my message today. Um, really how you can look at your twin soul union and see— and you can do this for any part of your life— but see like what secret or guilty pleasure are you getting out of the situation. And remember, it's not, it's not your conscious mind, because your conscious mind is, is hating it. Like, your conscious mind is angry about it. Your conscious mind is frustrated by it. It's not that. It's your subconscious. That is enjoying the drama. And so how can you do that? Um, I heard something else recently, and I know this is going long, sorry. I heard something else that, um, it was, it was somebody who talks about twin flames. I, I can't actually remember, um, but they were saying that your twin soul loves you when you are at peace. Um, that is when your twin soul is attracted to you, is when you're in peace. And I thought that was really helpful too, because you really have to acknowledge the drama of your subconscious in order to get back to peace. Like, acknowledge it, see it, feel it, feel the drama, feel the pleasure from the drama. And let that, um, expression of that work its way out of your system, and that'll bring you back to peace. And then that attracts your twin soul to you, or whatever else. Could be your dream house. It could attract your dream house to you as well. Um, so that's all. Thank you so much for watching. I hope this was helpful to you, and have a beautiful and blessed day.