When #Dating Might Hurt You on the Twin Soul Journey #twinflames #twinflameunion #twinsoul

Hey there, sovereigns! Monica Grace from cardreadingqueen.com here, and today's content is going to be when dating might hurt you on the twin soul journey. So I have nothing against dating, of course. I think sometimes it makes sense for your twin soul journey, sometimes it doesn't, and I want to get into that today and talk a little bit more about those scenarios. So let's get started. First, I want to tell you how you can get and stay connected to me, Monica Grace, and to my website cardreadingqueen.com. You can go to facebook.com/cardreadingqueen, cardreadingqueen.com/youtube, instagram.com/cardreadingqueen, twitter.com/MonicaGraceCRQ, pinterest.com/cardreadingqueen, dailytwinsoil.tumblr.com, and linkedin.com/company/cardreadingqueen. Additionally, if you are interested in any of the freebies that I mention in this content, you can find them all at cardreadingqueen.com/freebies. So let's talk about when dating might hurt you on the twin soul journey. And I wanted to give you a little bit of background on my experience with dating. So basically, I have never really dated. Um, I've been on a handful of dates with people that I didn't end up in a relationship with. I could literally count it on one hand since the time that I was, you know, basically in high, like since I started dating. So like whatever, 15, 16 years old. It's probably less than 5 people. And right now I can only think of, I think 3, I can only think of 3 dates I've gone on that didn't end up like I was in a serious relationship with the person. And the reason is I just didn't— I've never been attracted to dating and I just have never— I've never like wanted to date and I've also never really found my relationships through dating. So none of the— none of my serious relationships started through dating. A lot of times they had built up through friendship instead, or, you know, maybe we had just been talking a little bit and maybe hanging out, but it wasn't, it wasn't like a dating scenario. It wasn't like— and when I think of dating, I, I mean, I think of just like generally asking somebody out, but also I think, um, especially of like dating apps, which is kind of the way that dating happens these days, is through, uh, you know, Tinder or Bumble or one of these other dating apps. I have observed others dating, and I've had a couple friends, um, who were what I call like serial daters. So one of them, I, I may talk about her more, um, her dating. So this was, I think I met her, I think probably like 10 years ago at this point. So I'm recording this in 2020, so maybe we were, we were really close in maybe like 2011, 2012. Time frame, and she was a serial dater, um, not by choice. She was definitely looking for her person, but she, you know, she was on all the dating apps and went out on dates frequently. Um, nothing wrong with that, of course. However, it was really her views around dating that I feel eventually caused a lot of problems for our friendship. She, so I don't know if I'll, I don't know how much I'll get into that in this content, but, you know, basically she was pretty jealous of me because we met when I was going through a divorce and then I met my current husband pretty much the first, he was like the first person I dated after my divorce. And now we're married with a child. So she was pretty jealous of that and had a lot of thoughts around how I was settling or like I didn't understand what she was going through or, you know, it really, I think what it was is it really clashed with her narrative, which was that it was so hard to find relationship. It was so hard to find the right person, and it clashed. So like, my experience was clashing with the narrative that she had in her mind. And so that's kind of— yeah, I just— the reason I'm sharing that is because a lot of my experience with dating is through watching other people as opposed to doing it myself. And in these conversations, it's often, you know, there's often been really long and tedious conversations about the dating world. There's been a lot of like energetic high almost, or like, like kind of like almost like getting high off of a person, but it's like a new person every time. And so there, you know, you kind of Sometimes with a serial dater, you see them like, oh, they're so excited about this person, and then they're excited about this person, and then it doesn't work out with this person, and now they're hurt with this person, now they slept with this person, and, and it's like this kind of like revolving door of people. And it's like you really can't even keep up, um, to the point where they stop— like, they— like, you don't meet any of them, um, you never really get to know any of them. Like, you don't know their names, uh, you don't really know what they do. And it's just kind of, um, it's just kind of this roller coaster of like, maybe this person is my next— like, or maybe this person is my hus— my future husband, or maybe this person is, you know, my next serious boyfriend. And it's just this like constant high of like possibility almost. So that, that has really clouded my understanding of dating as well. So I'm kind of like trying to disclose this ahead of time because I, I think that that has given me a pretty negative perspective on dating. And I've also had lots of friends who they have been single for, you know, a portion of time, or they have been dating but like it's not their conversation. Like it's not the thing like every time I talk to them, they have to tell me about this new person that they're dating. And you know, we're able to kind of like talk about relationships and dreams and like all this other stuff without this narrative that they have around dating and like trying to find their, like almost like husband shopping. So yeah, basically I've been on both ends of the spectrum. People who have almost like a, I would say like a fairly healthy approach to dating as friends, and then also like losing friendships over me not being single enough for them or having a boyfriend before them, so I must be settling type of energy. And then I've also seen friends, girlfriends who I was once very close to, but they get extremely bitter and also extremely superficial the longer they stay on the dating scene. So just wanted to share that. I hope I'm not triggering anyone already, but I really wanted to kind of give my own background because I think that my thoughts on the topic are very colored by this background. So, um, there are a couple reasons that I think that the dating scene can be hurtful to your twin soul journey. I do think there are lots of opportunities, um, on the dating scene to help you heal through your twin soul journey, and so I'll talk about both of those. But the first reason that I don't think dating is always the greatest for your twin soul journey is because you're going to have a lot of casual connections. And I'm not talking about, um, sexually or, um, you know, date— like, I'm not talking about the physical aspects. I'm not saying like, oh, you're going to sleep with a lot of people. Um, and if you want to go sleep with a lot of people, I don't care. Like, that's not what I'm talking about. The reason I think casual connections are a I guess a problem, um, is that they allow you to never heal your triggers and your upsets. So basically you're inviting people into your life, um, they're from different backgrounds and they're likely to trigger you because your, your, um, your partnership, your romantic partnership is going to be one of the most triggering things triggering, and your partner is going to be one of the most triggering people in your adult life. In your childhood, it's your parents or your caregivers, but in your adulthood, it's going to be your partner. So having these casual connections, they're going to bring up stuff for you, and you're not necessarily going to heal those things. So when they bring things up, there's a couple things that happen. So either you are healing with them, but because it's such a casual connection, it's really just like breaking a twig off of the wounding tree, which I'll share in a minute. And then the other thing is that sometimes you just don't even heal with them, and you actually just like walk away, you click away, you lose their number, you ghost them, whatever. And because you do that, you actually like never even have to heal that trigger or that upset. Additionally, they are typically— they're typically retriggering wounds that are from childhood. And these wounds go straight back to the core wounds: shame, betrayal, control, rejection, abandonment, injustice. It's like all 6 core wounds are gonna get triggered through the current, the dating scene as it is in 2020. You know, it's just, it's inevitable because people are kind of treating each other like crap on the dating scene is really what it comes down to. And you're gonna receive, you're gonna have all that triggering of the wounding, that wounding actually goes back to childhood for the most part. And what you're feeling is not— you're not feeling a new wound, you're feeling a retriggering of a wound you already had. But, um, and, and kind of like, not just— not only like exacerbating that room— that, sorry, that wound, um, but also like adding to it. You're like, you're reinforcing the wound as well through these experiences. Um, and you're basically just growing a new twig on your wounding tree. And so for those of you who are not able to watch this as a video, you can go to cardreadingqueen.com/freebies and download the wounding tree image. But basically what it is, it's a tree, and toward the bottom of the tree, the trunk, you have people like your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your best friends, your exes, bosses, teachers, and so on. People who are very influential in your life. And then as you go further out on the tree into the branches, into like basically the outer twigs, you have people who are not as close. So like casual relationships, dates, and hookups are going to be on the outer edge of the trees. So when you are clearing wounds, you can either clear them through like casual relationships, or you could clear them through, you know, like your, your parent or like your ex-husband or whoever. Now when you clear them through your parents, your ex-husband, um, people, you know, your best friend from high school— when you clear them through those people, um, you're going to be cutting off like branches of your wounding tree. And when you clear them at the outer levels, like through dates or casual relationships, you're kind of just breaking off a twig of that tree. So the casual connection piece, I think, causes a lot of problems for people on the dating thing because it's essentially retriggering a wound that you originally received from like your parents or, you know, you originally received it in childhood. It's so— it's causing you a great amount of pain, um, but then because this is a casual relationship, you're either just like growing a new twig or you're— you may be snapping off that new twig, but it's, it's like you're doing like a very small amount of healing on it basically. Um, so you're getting a ton of, a ton of wounding or a ton of pain over the wounding and getting very little relief from healing through that. So the second thing that I don't like about dating is that there are zero forced confrontations. And I've talked— I talked a little bit about this in the first one, but basically, because you're allowed to break up with people, ghost people, it allows you to believe that you're right about your upsets, basically. So you'll have an upset, and instead of, you know, having to heal it with that person because you have a commitment to that person, or you have history with that person, or you have an inescapable relationship with that person, like they're your parent or your sibling or something similar, um, you get to just walk away and you get to be like angry and in the right about your upset. And this is something that to me is a huge— is going to be a huge healing issue, huge challenge with you trying to heal yourself. Um, so you're gonna have the trigger. Um, it's probably something that you need to heal within yourself on some level, as all upsets are, all triggers are. Um, you do have to go in and heal yourself, and the healing that you would need to do on that is the healing that you need to get the relationship you want., but instead of doing that healing, you're able to just walk away. Um, it allows you to say that this person is X instead of acknowledging your part in the trigger. So you can say like, this person is a jerk, or, um, this person is, you know, late to everything. This person is, uh, narcissistic. This person is superficial, whatever it might be. Instead of saying, you know, why does it bother me that this person is showing me superficiality? Where do I— where do I see the superficiality in myself? And like having to do that reflection practice to really look at like where are you projecting your own upsets onto the person. So So in a real relationship, you would have to sit in that discomfort. You would really have to get in it, get into it with people or the person that you are partnered with, and you would have to decide to solve it, decide to heal your upset. And through dating, you don't have to do any of that. You can just walk away. You know, the real relationship is going to force you to heal. Because of the commitment. So you, you really are going to be forced to grow, forced to heal, in order to honor your commitment. And there is no commitment through dating, so you don't have that— you don't have that reason to heal. And then the third reason that dating can hurt you is that there's no higher power involved. In the dating scene. Um, so, um, dating— okay, so the way the twin soul journey works is that you do your healing work and your twin soul is attracted to you as a result. You don't have to go out and find your twin soul. You don't have to go out and, um, reach out to your twin soul. You don't have to do any of that. Like, your twin soul is going to come to you because of the healing work that you've done. And this is This is really what, um, this is just basic law of attraction. This is Manifestation 101, uh, how, how, um, the law of attraction works in the universe. So doing the dating stuff, um, depending on the situation— now, not always, you have to discern if this is true for your situation or not— but the dating scene can be a way of controlling your twin soul journey, um, because you may be trying— you may be thinking like, it's a numbers game, I need to like keep meeting people, and then I'll find my twin soul through this dating app. And the truth is that if that person is your twin soul, you don't need to go on a dating app to find them. Like, there's nothing that could keep you from them aside from your own inner work. Um, so you don't— you don't need to go out and like be grabbing at the energy of anybody else in order to meet your twin soul. Now, for some people, um, this, you know, you could be called by God or your higher power to get on a dating app and, um, go out and meet somebody, uh, and that, that could be the means through which you meet that person. So, you know, your God or your higher power of the universe Spirit, Source, whatever you want to say is your higher power, they can use, you know, Tinder as a tool for to help you meet your twin soul. But, um, it, it doesn't necessarily, um, that, that may not be the, the tool that they're trying to use. And so you may be kind of controlling the situation in the 3D to try to get results faster in the 5D. Now, if you've seen any of my content, you know that I do not believe you can create in the 3D. I'm always saying like, go to the 5D, create there, and then allow that to show up in your reality. And it's going to take some time, but allow it to show up. I'm never saying like, okay, go create in the 3D. And so I think sometimes people use dating to try to create in the 3D instead. And so you really have to decide if that's for you. Um, dating could be a tool for growth, but a lot of times I've seen it used as an escape from doing the spiritual work. So it's a way to get a quick high. And think about it, it's, it's really, um, you know, especially using dating apps, it's really like a drug, right? Um, you know, similar to Facebook or similar to whatever else. Um, same with receiving messages, same with, you know, meeting someone new. Like, it's a high. You're— because you're excited about the possibilities of them, of that person. And that high— I've seen people who, they don't think they're addicted to that high, but they are basically using dating to get high the same way you would use a drug to get high. If you really— so if you really want to date with your higher power, which is what the twin soul journey is. If you're dating without your higher power involved, then it's not really in the spirit of the twin soul journey. So if you want to date with your higher power, you have to do your inner healing work, and that's got to be your primary, um, priority. Like, that's got to be the thing you're doing the most to get your you know, to, um, get your twin soul. Additionally, you want to stick to your twin soul core values list, um, and even like post your twin soul core values list in your dating profile, for example. And your, your profile should be focused on how you want to— how you want to date with your higher power, basically. It should be aligned to that and to the twin soul journey. And if it's not, if it's, you know, and I've, in speaking to some friends of how they do dating, it's like they know that if they put this in their profile, then they'll get this many more messages, you know, that sort of thing. And it's like, well, like you're kind of, it's almost like you're marketing, you're marketing and trying to get conversions on your dating profile. Um, nothing wrong with that exactly, but how is that really trusting in your twin soul journey? And how is that trusting in your higher power? At the end of the day, it really wouldn't be because your twin soul does not need gimmicks to, to like find you and show interest in you. Um, they don't need— they don't need marketing from you. You don't. And, and marketing is ultimately just persuasion, right? So anytime you're trying to persuade your twin soul to do something, it's like you don't need to persuade anyone of the truth. You don't need to prove the truth to anybody. And if you find yourself in that energy, you're actually just repelling your twin soul. So if you're doing your healing work, in my opinion, you may not need the dating scene to begin with. Now, um, This isn't 100% true. You could— if you're using Tinder as a tool, and if, if your higher power, uh, you know, God or the universe is calling you to use that as a tool to meet your twin soul, and you're using it, um, with all the principles and the theory behind twin souls, then you're good. Um, and you— and you're doing your inner healing work, then you're perfectly aligned to using dating for this journey. But the truth about the dating scene, or at least my observation of it— and if you disagree, that's fine, but this is my observation from seeing many people go into the dating scene, from also— I was on a, um, I was on a dating app for like 4 months at one point, like, like shortly after my divorce. And, um, It was, it was interesting. Um, so I kind of have a little bit of firsthand experience. Um, but basically, if you're on, you know, the dating scene in itself, the dating scene, it's largely not the vibration of a committed, eternal, or a spiritual relationship. Um, it's, it's a very different vibration, and in many cases it's a vibration of like hookups, casual connections, um, you know, kind of like artificial highs of like meeting someone new. Um, it's, it's not, it's not the vibration that you want to attract your eternal love and life partner in, in most cases. You may disagree, and that's fine. This is just my observation of why it could be hurting you. So those are my thoughts on it. And again, if I seem really negative on the dating stuff, you know, it's— it could be because I have just seen people, you know, in many ways abuse that, those dating apps, and abuse themselves through those dating apps. So I don't, I don't think they're the, the primary solution if you're trying to meet your twin soul. That, that's just, you know, it's just my opinion, but I just haven't observed it to be like the healthiest thing for most people who are on this journey. So, um, I have a couple questions. What Do you, um, what kind of— what in terms of your spiritual work, what would you like to step up on? Um, and really speaking of, if you are dating, like, it's totally fine if you are dating, um, but I want to kind of check in with you. Are you also doing your inner work? Are you also applying the twin soul concepts to your dating? And if that's resonating with you, um, what would you like to step up on in in the dating, you know, with your dating scene, um, in terms of your spiritual work. Additionally, if you want to do some journaling on this, you can go try the reflection journaling practice. It's at cardreadingqueen.com/freebies. Um, you can also leave a comment on this posting to share your upset, your story, or your results. And if you disagree with me on the dating stuff, it's totally fine. This is just my opinion. I wanted to put it out there. And I know it's probably going to be triggering to some people if they feel, you know, that they're using it in a healthy way. But that's, that's kind of the point of this content is to say like, you know, this may not be the energy that you want to attract the thing that you want. That, you know, so I hope, I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on this. I think it's a really important topic, and I know that there's some controversy about it. All right, um, additionally, if you want to learn more about the twin soul journey, you can get my book, Your Twin Soul Journey. It's a guide to experience eternal, unconditional, harmonious, embodied love and union with your divine partner. If you want to get this book, you can go to cardreadingqueen.com twin-soul-journey. That is all for me. I hope this was helpful to you. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this content. I hope you have a beautiful and blessed day.