Candid Conversation on Race with Justin

Foreign. Welcome everybody to Made for Mondays. Today I took a moment to have a very candid conversation about everything going on in our country as it relates to race relations. And I pray you can hear from my heart some thoughts and I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section as well as the review section. Let's Take a moment. If we're going to be made for Mondays to be innovators, that means there's some difficult conversations we have to have. But hopefully, but hopefully it can lead to life on the other side. Let's jump into the conversation from my heart to your heart. Let's see what life will tell us today. But I wanted to take a moment from my heart to you to talk about everything going on in our country right now. I think it's so important for us to take a moment to think about these things and engage with these things. One of the things about preaching the gospel is that the scriptures always unveil the necessity, the things that God is trying to share with us, the necessity to attack them, the necessity to address them. But the thing about preaching the gospel on Sunday morning is that not only are we addressing systemic things, social things, but our main goal is disciple making. Our goal is to ensure that anybody who is not connected to Jesus knows the good news of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Right now it seems very hard to find that good news in scripture, doesn't it? It seems quite difficult to find some things that are just straight talk from the Bible that to see what God has to say about this. I think one of the reasons that it's difficult to find those things is because the practices necessary to get there. One of those major practices is the practice of lament. Sunday after church was over, had a moment to really sit down and think about it and tell you about me and my own day. I'll get to my personal moments in a second. So I wanted to tell you that's my mindset. I want to structure this like this, but tell you about where I am personally. I'm going to give you some things that God was challenging me about in terms of protests and rioting. I'm going to talk about some things prophetically that God has been sharing with me and I'm going to end it with some practices of lament. Let me say this, what you're not going to get over the course of the next 10 to 15 minutes, you're not going to get a sound bite from me. You're not going to get some big major quote to put out there, unless you want to try to find it. You seek, you'll find it. Right? You're not going to get one of those. I get a lot of what the church ain't doing and what past pastors ain't doing and what preachers ain't doing, but we doing a lot right. I get a lot about, like, the difficulty and the tension between community activists and pastors and politicians and community activists and pastors and community leaders and this and all of that. The frustrating thing is we're spending so much time fighting about what others aren't doing instead of acknowledging and celebrating what others are doing. I honor the Black Lives Matter movement here in Rhode Island. I honor you. I honor every community activist on the ground here in Rhode Island. I honor you. I honor every nonprofit leader who's doing the work of justice. I honor our educators who are doing the work of educational equity. I honor you. I honor politicians that are black and brown in the diaspora. I honor you who are doing that work. I believe we do much more together than we do seeking for reasons to think that we're apart. And so I want to take a moment to first get that off the table. I honor you. I want to get off the table as well. This is not a moment for me to give you a sound bite. I'm not going to quote a bunch of people. I don't think it's time for King and Thurman's thoughts. I want to give you mine. And hopefully, as I give you mine, you can see your own. I think one of the reasons that is is the worst thing I can do is go tell you to read 50 more books. The worst thing I can do is tell you to go read 30 more books. The best thing I can do is tell you what we can do with the one book that I really think is important. So that's where I'm at today. So if that's what you came here for, you can log off, because you're not going to get any of that stuff. But here's my heart to you. Sunday morning was so beautiful. We had drive in service. Oh, my gosh, it was so great to see y'. All. Someone came to me afterwards and said, justin, I just. I needed to see my people. I needed to see black people. I needed to see black people. I needed to know they're alive. I need to know they're okay. I needed to see their faces. And it was so liberating to see y'. All. Afterwards, my wife said to me, she said, justin, we're Thinking about protests and marches and movements. She said, I think we did what the church needed to do in this moment, and that was, we took up space, y'. All. The two. Two of the oldest black churches in the state of Rhode island took up space in College Hill. I think, man, there were some ancestors in the ground who were just thanking God for us. We took up space in a place where we were told our bodies didn't matter. We took up space in a place where, at one point, our ancestors were enslaved. We took up space in a place where, at one point they were only able to worship in the upper level of a white church. We took up space in College Hill, y'. All. It was an act of resistance. It was an act of worship because our worship is liberating. Our worship is an act of resistance. Our worship is a way to show God what we really feel about God, y'. All. It was so amazing. And simultaneously, honestly, while I was preaching, I was full of fear at one point, because I looked around and I saw some people who weren't as seasoned as us jogging. And I thought about my brother who died because he was jogging. I saw some people walking their dogs. Thought about my brothers who were accused of stealing dogs and were shot because of that. I thought about. Thought about the people out there that were looking at the birds and the brother in Central park that was threatened to have the police come and get him in Central Park. I saw the people that were just enjoying time with their family and playing with their kids. And I thought about Tamir and Trayvon, thought about Sandra. I thought about all the people who'd been senselessly gunned down. I saw the people that were going to Whole Foods and thought about, man, all George did was give a 20 to get some lunch and he was killed. As I was preaching, I was full of fear because I said, if they really wanted to, they can come and attack us. And I'm the one who organized it. And I don't know if I'd be here, but I'm going to preach like it's my last time, because it literally could have been our last time. I leave out of church on Sunday. I go home. My wife and I recently purchased a brand new home. I told you this from my heart today. Purchased a brand new home in North Providence. And we had some fun times. We were barbecuing outside. I got a new grill. We're barbecuing outside. And I had some worship music playing. And I'm listening to this new Elevation album, Graves in the Gardens. It Was beautiful. And as I'm listening to it, my wife comes and grabs our Bluetooth speaker and turns it down. I said, why are you turning the speaker down? She said, justin, because I don't want our neighbors to call the police on us because of a noise complaint. I said, this one little speaker on my. One little Bluetooth speaker. And she said, justin, but you never know right now what's going on in the world. It takes one neighbor to make one phone call. And it's not a matter of, hey, turn the music down. It's a matter of, I need to find someone to get your body. So we're at that in the middle of our celebration. We turn the music down, we keep celebrating, and here's what agitated me. We leave our home in North Providence, go outside as we're leaving to go to our apartment, as we're moving things back and forth, There were three people who didn't look like us, wearing ski masks, and one held a weapon, didn't come to our car, didn't say anything to us, but made it very clear and very known we're here. I made sure my son didn't see it. My wife saw it and called me, made sure I was okay. The beautiful thing is God has connected us so that we can make phone calls, so that people let them know. But it made me think about, who are the people that aren't me that see that every day? Who are the people that don't that if they call the police, the police will come to their home and not go to the home of the people who brandished the weapon. On a personal level, my heart, I've been asked constantly, what's your official statement? What do you think about all of this? I'll give you my official statement. I'm tired, I'm scared, and I'm worried. I'm tired because I'm tired of the statuses, tired of all the pictures I'm tired of the countless showing. You never see this much white death. For some reason, it's okay to keep showing George Floyd's and Ahmad's and Sandra's and Tamir's, and it's okay to keep showing theirs, but it's not okay to show white death. And no death in and of itself needs to be shown this much. But for some reason, it's absolutely okay to keep showing black death. I'm tired, and maybe you're on here today. Maybe you're just as tired as I am. I'm tired of the competition of statuses. Who has the better status who has a better picture, who can draw the better art when we're still bringing up and showing a picture to a family in Minnesota or a family in Louisville or a family in so many different cities, Detroit. We're showing these pictures of a person who's no longer here painting murals of a person who's no longer here to a family who can't even see that person any longer because they were sent. They had their lives stripped from them. I'm tired. I'm tired of the competition and the infighting I see among our own people what pastors ain't doing, what churches ain't doing, what nonprofits ain't doing, what your job ain't doing, what this ain't doing, what that ain't doing. Forget the fact that at the end of the day, we all have to go to jobs and be around people. We don't even know where they stand on the fence. Because the fence that we're trying to find, what side we're on, is whether or not you decide to call the cops. Because my life does or doesn't matter to you. I'm tired. Not only am I tired, I'm scared. What is the retaliation going to look like? What. What is going to happen if they're not convicted? I'm scared of. I was sitting outside of my apartment last week, minding my own business, having time talking to God, and two white children came and stood on a stone next to me, started dancing around. Their parents came. I got up because I had one little place I was sitting meditating, but I couldn't even have that moment to be one with God. The mother said to me, they're just children. They won't do anything to you. I look back at her and there were some things I really wanted to say, but I thought about Amy Cooper. There were some. I looked back at her and said, I have a child, too. I kept Mark walking because I'm scared to vocalize how I really feel to people that don't look like me. I'm scared. I'm worried about where our emotions are going to take us. I'm worried about this next presidential election. I'm worried about local elections. I'm worried about the members that I serve as. We're in the midst of this weirdest year and summer we've ever had before, where we don't have camps and don't have places to let our emotions and our freedom and our time out. I'm very. I'm very worried. So that's where I am personally and maybe you're there, too, and that's why I wanted to give this moment to you. And if you're there, you can go ahead and comment, too. I'm tired, I'm scared, and I'm worried. I understand what Scripture has said, and I'm going to get to Scripture. I know, but you're going to get to why I'm saying this in a moment. I get God is not given a spirit of fear, but a love power. And I get it. I get it. But doggone it, that doesn't take away the fact that. That you get pulled over by the cops. The first thing I'm thinking about right now is pulling my pastor card and saying, I don't want to die today. I don't want to die today. While the governors challenge us to make sure we take masks out every time we leave our houses, I make sure before we leave, we have all the listing of the things to say to the cops before we leave our home. I'm scared, I'm tired, and I'm worried. So what does that mean, Pastor Justin? Well, listen, there's a lot of ways we can respond to this. All of us are in different lanes. Some of us have access to people in positions of authority that others don't have. Some of us have access to certain things other people don't have. We're all blessed to do certain things, blessed to march, blessed to protest, blessed to talk to people, blessed to lead people. So what does that mean? Here's what I want you to do. I want you to know this about protesting. When we see protesting in history, one of the beautiful things about protesting is protesting always had a purpose. There was always a reason why there was a riot or why there was a protest because there was some law. There was something that we were trying to communicate that we were not going to rest until that was communicated. When you're protesting, here's my challenge to you. Please get up, make your sign, get up and march. Whether that's in this city, whether it's in another city, whether that's organizing with people you work with, organizing with other people. But your protest, my challenge to you, must have a purpose. What are you trying to communicate? What are you trying to make sure the world hears? What are you trying to ensure that people in positions of authority hear? And then also, who are the people in positions of authority that you're trying to get their ears front of? What I'm scared of, and I want to be very frank with you, is I'm scared that we're protesting for pictures and not protesting with purpose. I'm very scared when I see the amount of stage portraits and stage things that we're doing in protest because we're protesting to be on Instagram and get clout and not protesting to have purpose. Protesting to ensure that people are hearing it and then going to people that are in positions of authority and not letter writing, but tweeting at them, but messaging them, flooding their email inbox finding. Here's what I want to challenge you. Find their aides, find their secretaries. Find the people who also work in the office. Don't just flood the so and so, the mayor or the governor's email. Find their aide and their secretary's emails. Find the people that check email and make sure that email inbox is empty every single day. For example, when it comes to our church, you want to get to me, don't get to me. Email our secretary, email our church administrator, email Michelle even. Because that's going to make sure it gets to me. Because there are certain things I'm just not going to check in in my own email unless they push it to do to make sure we see it. So who are you trying to make sure they hear? Protest with purpose. Don't protest for pictures. Who are you following online? Who are you engaging with online? Who has your ear? Who influences the way that you think about social justice and social liberation? What voices do you listen to? What voices do you need to mute? I really want you to think about your protesting having purpose. Please peacefully protest. Please protest online. Please go out and make your voice known. Please support black and brown businesses. Please honor people. Please do whatever you possibly can but protest with purpose. So when it comes to rioting, I get the text, I get, I get the quote. I think sometimes read out of context, but I get the quote. Riots are the voices of the unheard. And I'm not going to get into all of mlk, but riots are the voices of the unheard. And y', all, here's the thing I will say about mlk, when mlk, he shifted his voice later in his life. I don't want us to forget this. MLK shifted his voice later in his life and MLK began to shift the way he thought, shift the way he did things. And that's what got him killed, right? So we sit there and say, what would Martin Luther King do? Martin Luther King died. That's what happened. What would Martin Luther King do? Martin Luther King would get himself killed. So I want you to, I want to pull back a little bit on this Quote, but let's bring it up to the. To bring it out, because we're using it a lot. Riots are the voices of the unheard. Okay, so what are you screaming? What are you screaming? What are you trying to make heard? What are you ensuring is heard? I don't think stealing shoes is that. I get it. And here's the thing I want. I guess I want to understand on the other side of this, to share with those of you who disagree with those who are doing all that. Here's the other side of that. The thing about it that I think we need to get to is economic inequality, educational and educational inequity, housing inequality, gender gaps. Right. And racial inequality. Because if we get to those issues and handle those issues, then we can see this. Because here's the challenge, all that we don't own things. Black and brown people do not own things because they've been restricted to own things. My wife and I just finished purchasing our home. But if we ever told you the testimony, I'll tell you the testimony. We went through two different banks, and the first bank we went to all of a sudden just pulled away from us. Stopped talking to us, stopped emailing us, stopped saying we had all these bad things on our credit and nothing was wrong, had all these terrible things going in our lives. We had this debt, we have this stuff. They literally asked a question about what we think Cam's earning potential is going to be over the next 15 years. You know how ridiculous it is. But what we found out was they pretty much just wanted to make sure we didn't live in the area that we bought our home in. They can say it was everything else, but nah, man, that's housing inequality. So because we don't own anything, because we don't have things like that, because we're renting, when people are destroying property, they're destroying property because they don't own anything. And so they're not going to pay the taxes for it. They're not going to have to repay for it. Everyone else will. So if we fix housing inequality, we fix economic injustice, we fix educational inequity, we can then begin to fix some of our own systems. But if we're not confronting these systems, y'. All. So what are you screaming when you're rioting? What do you want to make, be made, heard? And there are people like myself, there are people like senators and state senators and council people who are willing to listen. They're even. I even got a phone call to put as straight out there. I talked to the governor for every single day so far for the past week and a half. And she's sitting here telling me, I'm willing to listen. What are you trying to scream? People are willing to listen. And before we go and destroy businesses, before we make the community rebuild more than they have to rebuild for this coronavirus, what do you want people to hear? Let's scream it to the right people. Let's scream it at the right table. Let's scream it among the right individuals. Because, y', all, I'd rather see providence boom with all colors, then Providence fall. Because one, because people are destroying property. And I understand the people destroying property are all black. I get it. Matter of fact, most people destroying property across this nation aren't people a part of blm. Aren't people a part of local churches? Aren't people a part of naacp? They're people who are trying to make a moment off of this, which says another thing about the ways that people capitalize on the death of black and brown bodies. I'm almost done. I'm sorry. I hope this is helping you guys. This is from my heart. Protests have a purpose. But what are you trying to scream? Scream it to the right people. And then here's the next thing I'll give you. And then I want you to also notice in this moment what is grabbing a hold of you. What is agitating you the most? What is bothering you the most? What are the things that you think about everything going on in our world that is bugging you and bothering you the most? What is agitating you? What is keeping you up late at night the most? I want you to unearth what that thing is and grab ahold of you. Whatever your response is. One of my colleagues put this beautiful blog up the other day and he said that protests erosion finally is showing the shifting ground of the earth. I think it's a beautiful thing. But he gets back to the point of movements for purpose. What is grabbing a hold of you? My wife, for example, is really right now gung ho and 100% enthralled in maternal well being. My wife is gung ho about this. My wife is intentional about this. My wife is waking up and going to bed every single night about maternal well being. How we can make sure that people that black and brown women, when they are pregnant are not told that they just need to deal with it, deal with the pain, get over. They don't need epidural whatever it is. My wife is being so intentional about this. My wife is not going to march One of the reasons my wife and I haven't gone down to marches just yet is because of the stuff we're seeing across the country. There are things that we're seeing across the country because the impact and effect we have in other spaces. Also because we're in the middle of a pandemic and we have a little one who is going to run off and we have police officers who are going absolutely buck wild crazy. You're going to see me in some other places personally, before you get mad. The pastors ain't doing something. You're going to see me doing some other things later. But that's the reason why you haven't seen us marching yet. But that doesn't mean people can't affect change. Because we found out what bothers us the most, what agitates us the most. And then we're going to start making phone calls, we're going to start going to folks businesses, we're going to start going to folks offices, we're going to start making sure we tweet at them. I put a tweet up on Twitter on Sunday night, had four phone calls the next day from four police chiefs. You know why? Because in spite of the fact I didn't do certain things, y' all, that agitated me, that bothered me, I want you to think about what bothers you, what agitates you, then go and do something about that. So black males are what's bothering you. If black women's issues are what's bothering you, if it's the death, if it's police brutality, then research the laws about those things and see what bothers you. And then see in the midst of that where God is calling you. I'm trying to give you strategy. One of the beautiful things we see, and Jurgen Moltmann talked about this and we talked about the theological hope as it relates to our time with Jesus. Jesus disciples found themselves in so many positions where they didn't know what to say or do after witnessing Jesus do something amazing. And then what they did is they pulled back and they listened. Right now, in all of this, as we pull back, what is God saying? What is God calling you to do? What is agitating you? What is making you up? What is making you go forward? And I want you to do those things. So that's personally. That's protests and riots. So what else? Pastor Justin, what about prophetically? What is God saying prophetically? I'm going to be very honest with you. I'm not looking forward to the next six months. And this Is the prophet in me speaking. God has had me read Amos 5 and 6 for the past two months before all this hit. I preached a sermon the last Sunday of February this year. And I remember the way that I felt I left out. My wife said, are you okay? I said, I'm not okay. I said, something is going to happen. Something is not right in our country. Something is not right in our community. And I grieved for a week. I just got into a posture of repentance and lament. I grieved for a whole week after preaching that sermon that God is a God of no limits, but yet for some reason, we're keeping limits on God. And I think it comes through sin and pain. And I feel the same way. This week I pulled away from the world for a couple of days, and I feel the same way, y'. All. I really, really have a very strong sense some moments of pain coming to our communities and to our culture and to our world. In light of Amos, chapter five and six, repentance does get this. Repentance does grab a hold of the ear of God because there's some things America's backside is showing. America's backside is showing. If the south is the buckle of the Bible Belt, America's pants are all the way down. And you can hear this. As a prophet of the Lord Jesus Christ, I see Amos chapter 6. Woe to those who are at ease in Zion. Woe to those who are complacent on Mount Samaria. Woe to those who have gotten comfortable in places of worship and no longer rejoice in the places God has protected them. Woe to us. Woe to us in Amos Chapter five. And God says, seek me and live. But we're not seeking God. I am not excited. I'm grieved. I'm tired. I'm grieved greatly. My spirit is grieved so much. And my wife asked me how I felt on Tuesday morning, and I told her. I said, baby, it's like this when Camden does some things in our home. And you guys can see me in my home. We have a plant on one of our tables, our end tables next to our couch. And Camden likes touching the plant, touching the plant. And one day I said, court, turn your head away and let him keep touching the plant. And Camden get our attention and came to do this. He came to want to do something, kept touching the plant, kept touching the plant till he hit the plant. The plant fell, the pot broke. We wanted to get all upset about it, but I said, cora, I Can't get too mad because I turned my face. I wanted him to see what it meant to clean up. I wanted him to learn some things. And y' all hear me as I say this. I seriously feel in this moment that God has turned his face. And we keep pushing the plant and we keep pushing it and we keep pushing it and we keep pushing it. And I'm wrestling with the Odyssey. I'm wrestling with what God is saying, but we keep pushing this plant. And I want God to turn his face back in grace to us. I want him to turn his face back in love. But my spirit is grieved. So that's prophetic where I'm at. Amos, chapter five. Amos, chapter six. I'm praying it. I'm sitting in a posture of lament every morning and every night. I wake up in repentance. I wake up in celebration. I wake up trying to seek the Lord and what to say because I want to lament. Well, I have no saying. I have nothing there. But I want to challenge you as people of God and people of Christ. If you've gotten this far in this video to listen to me. It's a time of lament. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's about to happen, but I don't feel good about any of it. It's a time of lament. The reason I don't feel good about any of it, y'. All. We haven't seen retaliation from the same people who were in Virginia a couple years ago. We haven't seen what people in the south are going to do that in the backwoods of these places that still voted to make sure we have a red, red country. We haven't seen the retaliation of it. We haven't seen convictions yet. This is simply from. This is the emotions, I believe from mental distress, emotional distress, spiritual distress, all coming out and showing into the world and then some people taking advantage of it. And it shows a lack of preparation, our government leaders, because God is exposing poor leadership. Y'. All, this is not. I'm telling you, this is a season of the church if we're going to be the church to lament and find God. And I know it sounds like I'm being fire and brimstone, but oh my God. It's not a one time prayer. The people would fast and pray for 40 days. They would sit in sackcloth and ashes until God said something. Church. This is a time to find God. So how do you do that, Pastor Justin? How do you lament well. And what is lamenting? Lamentations is a book that literally is just full of prayers of lamenting. A lot of the Psalms are prayers of lament. Psalms of lament. Lamenting is a way that we pray coming out of pain. It's common. You see it. Here's the structure that you see in laments. And I want to give you the structure so you can build your own laments. Number one. Lament number one, addresses God. It identifies God whom the psalm is addressed. Number two, it's a complaint unto God. It's articulating to God what you're complaining about, articulating the problem and then clearly asking God for help. Number three, it's a confession of trust. In the midst of what I'm complaining about, God, I'm still trusting you, still leaning on you. Then you ask God for deliverance. God, I want to be delivered from the very thing I'm complaining about. Because of the trust I have in you. I ask for deliverance from it and God for you to intervene in the midst of this. And then lastly, I'm giving praise to God, because in all things I can still give thanks. It's addressing, it's complaining, it's confessing, it's deliverance. And then it's praise. We see a great example of this in Psalm number four. I'll read it to you. Here's the address to God. Answering when I call you, my righteous God, give me relief from my distress. Here's the complaint. How long will your people turn my glory into shame? How long will you love delusions and seek false God? Here's the confession. Know that God has set apart his faithful servant. Here's the prayer for deliverance. Tremble, don't sin when you're on your bed. Search your hearts and be silent. Offer sacrifices to the righteous trust of God. Many Lord, are asking, who will bring us prosperity? Let the light of youf face shine upon us. Fill my heart with joy, with their grain and with new wine abound. Here is the praise. In peace will I lie down and sleep for your alone, God, make me myself is my safe place Every time we see in the midst of all of this, we see the ways that God shows us through times of lament. We address, we complain, we confess, we ask for deliverance. Then we praise God. So I want you to take a moment in your own way as you talk about, as we lament together. I don't think we lament well. And one of the things I've done personally is I know I lead us a lot to celebrate. A lot I want to celebrate. I want to honor what God is doing. There are times, y', all, we don't. We don't, we don't. We're not. This is not a time of crazy celebrations, a time of lament and so addressing God. What is it that you're really giving God? What is the name you call God? Then I want you to articulate that complaint. God, this is what I don't like. This is what doesn't make sense. This is what I'm worried about. This is what I'm worried about. Then confess your trust to God. God, I trust yout in this. I honor you in this. You showed me that you will deliver in this. You showed me how. You've done this before. And every single one of us is different before. And maybe you don't want to remember your before, but confessing your trust in God forces you to remember your before. And fourthly, pray for deliverance. God, I need you to intervene. Because if you don't intervene, if I intervene, it's not going to be the way that I know you called me to do it. God, I need you to intervene. Then lastly, offer praise unto God. There are a lot of ways to lament, but that's what I want to give you today. So all in all, this goes back to me. Story of Jesus on the cross. I believe everything goes back to the begins and ends with Jesus. Jesus was on the cross, cried out to God, eli, Eli, lamda sabachthani. My God, my God, why are you forsaking me? One scholar said it was as if God turned his back on his own son. World was dark, world was grim. Mother was watching her son die at the hands of the state, literally watching her son die. While others were gambling for his clothing. His best friend was sitting at the bottom of the cross watching his friend die and immediately get thrust into the responsibility of caring for his mother to keep her from falling into the traps of culture. All his friends had left him, going around saying their lives matter, but yet quiet because they didn't want to die too. And the state was gambling and laughing, all because God turned his back. Church. I think God has turned his face. The good news, for every Good Friday, there's an Easter Sunday. But before we get to Easter Sunday, we're in Good Friday, and I don't know how long it ends. It's going to go. I've refused to prepare my spices for dead Jesus, but I will be faithful. What they did on Good Friday and what we've done A disservice to I believe in our Good Friday services. We make Good Friday services so happy, happy joy, joy that we miss out on the fact that when Good Friday ended, there was a dead 33 year old man on a cross, a weeping mother, scared disciples and a happy devil. Old practice in churches was to leave out of Good Friday in darkness. Today, as we call the names of countless brothers and sisters who look just like us, I leave this moment with you. Straight talk from my heart. Not in celebration, but in darkness. Hopefully in this darkness you'll see where God is calling you. Hopefully in this darkness you'll see what God is challenging you to pray about. Hopefully in this darkness you'll be agitated enough to do whatever God is telling you to do. Hopefully in darkness you'll strategize. Hopefully in darkness we'll be ready that when we hear the Savior is risen, we'll run to the tomb. So I leave you today in darkness. I leave it in darkness for Brianna. I leave it in darkness for George. I leave it in darkness for Maud. I leave it in darkness for countless other names. I leave it in darkness for the names that we didn't have recorded. I leave it in darkness for the country that is shrouded in pain. May you go into your days in this night praising God, complaining to God, trusting God. My prayer and my hope is that in due season we can rejoice out of darkness. Because I still serve a God who makes beauty from ashes. This is from my heart to your heart, from my pain to your pain, from my brokenness to your brokenness. May the grace of God, the love of God, rest, rule and abide among each heart. Blessed be the tide that binds us. I honor you, my beautiful black brothers and sisters.