Guest Brandon Smithson: Unlocking Your Potential

Hey, everybody, it's Justin here, and I'm so glad you're tuned in with us this morning here on Made for Mondays. I'm excited. The next couple of weeks, we're gonna do some interviews on Made for Mondays as we talk about how you are Made for Mondays. Mondays don't own you. You own your Mondays. Today we are excited to have a very special guest with us, the executive pastor here at Friendship Vallejo in Vallejo, California. And I'm super excited to have a conversation with him about life, about transitions, about movement, and just about what God is doing in this season. So stay tuned for Made for Mondays as we journey together through. Through life's transitions. Welcome back, everybody. Made for Mondays. I'm here today with the executive pastor of Friendship. We've known each other since 2012, back when he didn't know how to preach. And I'm grateful that life has taken him in a direction where he knows how to preach. And over the course of life, it's journeyed so we can talk about all the different transitions and journeys in life and grief and some of the overlaps of stories. And so I'm grateful today. Help me Made for Monday's crowd to welcome Brandon Smithson. Welcome, Brandon.

Thank you. Actually, I taught him everything that he knows, but we are not going to discuss that today. It's okay. It's okay. But, you know, sometimes your haters are frustrated admirers, and he just doesn't know how to say thank you yet. So keep praying for him.

All right? Wow, man. Tell us a little about you. Who are you? Where are you from? Just who is. Who is Brandon Smithson?

Who is Brandon Smithson? Well, my name Brandon Jadarius Smithson. I was born October 9, 1991. I'm a native of Nashville, Tennessee. I am the second oldest, in between five sisters, Dominique, Ashley Kierra. Dominique, Ashley, Danielle, Kierra, and Jada. Most of my family is from Nashville. I live there. I graduated from there. I got my undergrad there, went to pursue my master's at Baylor University. I've been preaching the Gospel since August 1, 2010. Officially, I spent nine years bootlegging. My leadership journey began when I was eight years old in the community and in the church in December 1999. I'm an entrepreneur. I am a consultant. I am a son. I'm a lot of things. I'm a comma, not just one thing, but most of all, I'm a son. I'm a son of God. I belong to him. I have a destiny. I have a Purpose. And I'm looking forward to realizing that and that I get to do it with you.

Yeah. And I guess that's what I want to get to. Ben, so how have you been able to navigate diving into your own identity while, like, you mentioned, comma, right. So I'm sure over the course of your life, certain things have fallen off that sentence. Oh, so how for our audience, how have you been able to learn to let certain parts of your identity, whether something you loved or something other people put on you, fall off?

It's been a journey. I would say that you have to be honest with yourself and. And you have to accept the fact that things change, that everything won't remain the same, and that everything that you started with, you may not necessarily end up with. Whether that's a person, a relationship, a skill set, you evolve. And for a time, I struggled with that because I dealt with abandonment issues and I dealt with rejection and people pleasing. And so some things I felt were tied into my identity until I discovered who I was, and then I discovered what was necessary for those moments or that specific time or season in my life. But once I was able to accept it and see the benefit of its presence or its absence, I began to navigate transition very well.

So how would you suggest then to others, then to, I guess, healthy grieving and by grieving living people.

Right.

So that's one thing. A lot of the leaders that tune into us, we get a lot of those questions about former mentors. And you and I have a connected story of a former mentor, but today, I can say former as of today, but mentors and leaders and bosses, and we're a big proponent here of champions over mentors. Just a journey I've had in my own life where I believe in having people who know how to win to be people in my life. Because mentors, we believe, want you to be them, whereas champions want you to be the best you. And so that's one thing I've had to crucify, but never been able to put language to it. So as you've grown and evolved and the people that you are now surrounded with to keep you insulated, how have you navigated, man, letting mentors or people who meant a lot in, like, you know, let's say like 2017, but today just cannot fit.

Right.

How have you learned to navigate not letting that become like grieving the loss, but not letting it become a defining part of your identity?

Constant forgiveness, constant and intentional letting go. Sometimes we all memorialize the high points and the reasons why they should remain and be there, and it becomes an idol, and then that idol turns into a stumbling block for progress. Just because they were who they were during that time does not mean they should be where they are now, because you may not need what they had because you've mastered it. You talk about grieving while they're alive, grieving while they're still present, grieving while they're still around. I'm working on a. I think it's gonna be one of my most powerful works of my life thing I'm calling Healing from hero wounds.

Wow.

Wow. We all have heroes, mentors, champions, people that we've loved, that have invested themselves, their lives, their resources, their money into us at different points in our life. And the fact of the matter is, sometimes those relationships change. Sometimes they become the antithesis to everything they taught you and who you're becoming. And sometimes things just go a different direction, and you just have to be intentional about dealing with your own emotional health, your own peace of mind. And sometimes that's with a therapist. Sometimes that's with speaking with people who have been where you are. But at the end of the day, you have to decide to journey forward, to move forward despite who is and who is not there, who you wanted there and who you didn't want there. Because one constant in life is things will change. And sometimes it'll hurt like hell, and other times, you'll be able to navigate clearly with the right communication. And sometimes you won't have closure that you're looking for. But, man, it is an everyday thing, even to this moment. I am not the same Brandon version of Brandon that I was three years ago or the one that you met over almost 13 years ago, man. And so, really, even navigating through different versions of that same grief is challenging sometimes, because at the same time, you have to perform, you have to show up, you have to do. But you have to be intentional that you don't allow it to become a hindrance to your productivity and that just. You have to give that to God. You have to give that to God, and you have to get it out of you.

That's so real. That's so real. You know, it's amazing how many people don't want you to grow and how so often we get more in tune with their opinions about us not growing and frustrations with us growing that it becomes a hindrance to your own right. And then we come to honor their voices so much that we forget who we are in the process, Man. I think that is just so powerful. And so real. So, man transitioning a little bit. So you have a book that you have new life. And so can you tell us a little bit about that book and what's the purpose behind it and what is encompassing in that book?

I can. One of the most constant questions that I get is, what is my purpose? How do I define what my purpose in life is? And a lot of times we look to our skill sets, our talents, we look to others to express what that is. External influences. When really, you have to begin at the beginning. It begins before you were born. It begins with God. And so new life is really a guide to defining how to realize potential and then how to define what that potential must become, which is purpose. And so I'm almost done with it. Can't wait to release it on my birthday, October 9th of this year. Really, it's a book that puts the reader on a journey of introspection, of spiritual redefinition and personal development.

So.

So that not only are you defining what you're going to give to the world, but you can't give to the world unless you know who you really are to yourself, to your story, to God, and to the world. And so I want to be able to give a really great language and definition. You'll hear me say that to what that is before you can know what you're going to do and who you're going to become.

That's so real. That's so real, man. I think it seems like the popular language now is life is a journey, but I feel like nobody's actually, like, starting to take the steps to do it. Then we get mad at the ones who do.

You know what I mean?

So it's like it became. Instead of being like, you know, we were so static for a while in the 2000s, then Covid hit in 2020, and now all of a sudden, like, it was a journey. Yeah, everything's a journey. Everything's a journey. And then now, like, we came out of it, and now we just got really good content on Instagram.

Yeah.

And then we get mad at those who are like, somebody said this to me last week. They said Instagram is for show, but LinkedIn is for dough. And it was the. The notion that LinkedIn is the place where people actually are taking the journey. Instagram is a place where you're watching people tell us about theirs. Right. And so it sounds like what you're doing is trying to force people to take the first, the second, and the third step.

Yeah.

What would you suggest to man to people who are listening to this today who are like, I'm trying to awaken to myself. I'm crucifying different things in my life. I'm changing my mentors. What would you tell them is the second and the third step they need to take beyond the like. I read the, you know, Purpose Driven Life book. I've read the Darius Daniels book. I've read the book. I've got the, you know, I feel good. Then what?

After you have awakened yourself to your need to get in place, I think you should rip yourself or strip yourself of all the ideas and all the versions that you felt like you're supposed to be. In fact, let me do this. Allow yourself not to be held hostage by the opinions, preferences of other people, because if you are still arrested in that box, you will always limit yourself because all you know is what they see. And that's not always a bad thing. You want to get the affirmation, the advice, the wisdom of those who are where you're going or been where you want to go. But that can't be your foundation. You have to strip yourself of all the noise one, so that you can hear clearly not just the Lord, but you can start to hear yourself. What I'd also encourage someone to do as the next step is to start. Where do I start? It's so much to do. Start somewhere. Have you researched? Have you read? Have you interviewed someone? Have you. What have you done to say, I am invested in this beyond just, I want to do it.

Yeah, that's right.

I want to be it. I'm going to become it.

That's real, man. And I think that's. That's so powerful and I think about to transition to even where we are right now, by the time this is out, you've been installed as the exact pastor here at Friendship, engaging in this next season of your life. I remember the first time I called you, I was like, hey, man, don't say no, just pray about it, right? Just like, hey, this is an opportunity.

I want to bring to your brother.

It's an opportunity I want to bring to your attention, but don't say no to it. And obviously the people you have around you, accountability, intentionality, to ensure that you're making decisions for the absolute best of your own existence and life to move forward, which is essential, right? It's process and intentional and. And not just saying yes to everything. So as you transition to. Yeah, man, as you transition, as you come into this part of your life, what are some things you've learned about yourself the last 365 days that have, because I'm sensing for you, accelerated growth. That's why you can speak with a lot of wisdom. What are some things that you've learned about yourself that has, like someone else who's listening to this can look at like today, sorry, this day, a year from now can be different. That you can help them accelerate whatever process they may be going on if they're having to make really big life changing decisions.

Oh, man. The first thing I would tell myself a year ago is you will survive it all. No matter what the pressure point, stress point, challenge, opportunity that you're enduring, working through, you will survive it all. The other thing that I would tell myself is trust yourself, trust God, but trust your ability to be your best advocate. No one can defend, no one can speak for you like you so real. And if you don't learn how to speak up for yourself, not speak out, because we have a lot of people making a lot of noise but not saying nothing. But if you learn how to speak up for yourself where it counts, you will be heard. What I would encourage someone who is looking to journey further in their development of growth and all of that is to surround yourself with the right counsel. And sometimes those counsel, you may not have their phone number or have direct access like this. You may read about them, you may study their life, even the mistakes of people. Everything is wisdom to me. Do not be afraid to be wrong. Do not be afraid to apologize. Do not be afraid to fail. Because to me, success is failure. Revised that's so real. It is. When I take the less, you never lose. I preached it a message not too long ago about divine separations. And one of the points that I lifted was that you never lose when you're led by the Lord and you never lose in life when you learn. Because it becomes currency, it becomes wisdom. It becomes something that you can use. Maybe not to revisit that, or if it comes to your life, you know how to navigate it the next time. I think the other thing is to be generous. Generous with your time, generous with your resources, even if you feel like what you have is not enough. I am the most prosperous man when I'm the most generous. I have gained the most weight when I didn't have it. You know what I'm saying? It is the oddest little phenomenon, but you have to. If you're going to receive, you have to give. Wow. And then if you're going to give, you need to learn how to receive. One of the biggest rebukes I ever received, man. I was a teenager youth pastor in Nashville, and there was a member of my church, one of them, who loved me very well, always supported me, always blessed me just randomly. And I was in need of a desk, man. I needed a new desk, and I didn't tell anybody. I was one of those, hey, I take care of Mr. Independent. You are looking at him, Mr. Super. I was that guy, and I needed this desk. And I literally just went to the Lord in prayer because I was like, okay, Lord, this is what I want. Show me what I need to do to get it. And then I worked that thing out, man. The next day, I got a text message from this specific member, like, hey, I was thinking about you. I saw this desk, and I want to get it for you. I didn't say nothing to this woman about it. It was the exact desk that I was looking for. And she's like, I just want to get it to you. And, you know, when folk give stuff, they usually want something. There's something with it. I was suspicious like that. But this person I knew wasn't like that. And I was like, you know what? I'm good. Thank you. God bless you. That was so thoughtful of you, knowing I need this. I'm doing my work on a clipboard on books. And then I remember she saw me the next Sunday, and she said to me, hey, you offended me. And I'm looking at her like, how did I offend you? And she said, when I sow, I sow into good ground. You are good ground.

Wow.

And I'm not gonna allow you to make me miss my blessing because you won't allow me to sow it to you. Wow. Don't ever do that again.

Wow.

And so I'm gonna give you the desk now. You can give it away if you want to, but I'm gonna purchase this because you are good. You need to know that you are good ground. You are worth investing in.

Wow.

How do I honor the investment? Show up.

That's it.

Learn.

Do.

Don't just say. And from that point on, man, it's opened my eyes to many possibilities within myself and really into some of the things that like people like you who have known me a long time. To realize what was already there, I just had to believe it. Believe in you. Even when you doubt you.

That's so real. I remember conversation I had with my pastor, Pastor Vincent Windrow, and we were in the midst of some transition. We could talk about that.

We love you, pbc.

We started the midst of Those of you who are listening to obc, please comment on Spotify so I can see. Because I love. If you guys don't know on Spotify, you can comment now on YouTube if you guys are watching from OVC. But PB and I were having a conversation. He was bringing me on team. And he said, what do you think it would take to get. Get Brandon here? And I was like, when he wakes up to himself, right? And he was just like, how long do you think that'll be? Like, do you think it'll be three months, six months, a year? Like, when is he gonna do it? And just because everybody saw it. And I guess for me, that was a moment I never forget that point in my life where I was tired of everybody else seeing in me what I didn't see. Myself, man. Right? And so I remember saying that about you last year when we first called and I was talking to Court, and I was like, I hope I think I told you this. I hope you see you when everybody else sees, right? Because I remember that moment in my own life where I was tired. Everybody else saying, you could be this, you could be that. Like, I remember it was William Buchanan, who was the one who was like, stop using cliches. And he said, listen, what I'm gonna do, man, I'm gonna put you over. The senior ministry hated him for this. Hated William Buchanan for this. He put me over the senior ministry for a year, did not let me preach. I was. I was. Every Tuesday and Wednesday, I served with senior citizens. We played bingo. That's where the senior ministry for me came from. We played bingo. We did workouts, seated workouts, and I. Workouts, seated workouts. And we served the homeless every Wednesday. I mean, that was my ministry, man. And so when I put got a preach, I knew the people. And that was different because I wasn't trying to preach to impress them. Yeah, I knew them. And so. But it was because he saw something. He saw a pastor. He didn't see some willy nilly preacher. And so for you to say this, man, even to be in the position you are now is like, no, because you owned who you were.

Absolutely.

And, like, didn't rent you.

Right.

And didn't rent yourself for great experiences and rent yourself for a good, you know, social media campaign. But you're owning yourself. And I think that's one of the things we're really big here made for Mondays, man. So last thing I want to bring out. Well, two last things. One is to connect with you. But one last thing, man, is so for those of those who are saved on here, so there's a lot of people who listen who aren't, and we thank all of you for coming back every week. But those of you who are, and people who go to church every week listen to preaching, listen to teaching every single Sunday. And one of the things that you specialize is in presence preaching, right? So preach on Sunday. And I believe Sunday is the perfect picture of everything. Everybody's together. I joke, like, you washed your legs for Sunday. Like, everything is just perfect on Sunday. And then I leave out, and then Monday comes. And one of the things I'm working on is trend spotting for the future and trying to create immersive experiences when it comes to church. But one of the places that a lot of people are made for Mondays have struggled with is how do I take my pastor's sermon and make it live throughout the week? And so what suggestions would you give people? And it's gonna be different, I know, for everyone. But I'm curious to see your perspective of it. That when I get in my car, not even work, when I get in my car, take my kid to school, when I get in my car to get in traffic on the freeway, when I get in my car and get to work, how can I ensure that whatever my pastor or preacher preached on Sunday lives on Monday? Sure.

The first thing I would encourage you to digest on is that that word was for you, maybe a different version of you, a former version of you. And sometimes the word that is being preached may be out of season. Most time it's not. But there are some words where you like, I know such and such should have been here. That word was for them. But you don't know what's going to happen in two years, you don't know what's going to happen in three months. You don't know what's going to happen this week, where there's something in that word that becomes the antidote, the solution, the answer, or the response that you are to give to that life moment happening. So the first thing is to take ownership of that word. That word was for me, even if it's not for right now. Wow. The other thing I would encourage you to do is to take notes. I listen to podcasts and I listen to sermons, and I'm very careful with what I'm digesting, what I'm reading, beyond my research, beyond my study life and all of that, because I'm still being cultivated. I'm still growing. Even as those who preach, we're still growing. At the same rate sometimes as you. That's why we can do what we do so well. But what I've learned is history makers are note takers. Do not trust your memory. I remember things that I'm not supposed to remember, dates and all. I'm just weird like that. I thought I was a alien growing up because of some of the gifts that I have. But then there are some. Some common things. I'm like, man, I'm sure gonna remember that. Oh, that was, that, what you just said, that was exactly what I needed. And then I can't remember because I need to notate it. Whether it's on a recording device or some of you are audible listeners, some of you have to write it out, whatever it is you need to do, take notes. We here at Friendship even provide them for you. You know, we make it easy for you, but you want to digest and take apart that thing. And then not only don't just write down or notate what you're listening to, notate and ask questions. Ask what you heard questions. Well, what does this have to do? How can I apply that? Where does this fit today? What can I do different? Because the point of the message is to reveal Jesus. And the point of the message that we preach is to lead you to decision. We want you inspired, excited, enthused, empowered. We want you to learn, we want you to think, we want you to be challenged, we want you to be offended. But also we want. The point of it is to lead you to a point of decision. So what do I do with this word? Something? Do I give it to someone else? Do I meditate on it? Do I hold it for a specific season? You do all of those things. The other thing that I would encourage someone to do is to apply it. And this is the thing. Life doesn't wait till Monday anymore. Life comes at you right after we say amen. And the text message, the email, the person comes through, and you having to face exactly what you just made a decision about. And so sometimes you think things happen when things, wrong things or bad things or inconvenient things come to your life. You think you've done something wrong. And that's not always the case. Sometimes God will say sanction, he will allow, he will green light certain things to happen so that he can prove to you that you've evolved, you've changed. Sometimes trouble is an indication that you've grown. And then you'll see that that word that you've been germinating, that you've been meditating, that you have been listening to is actually already at work in your life.

That's so real.

So if you're going through something or if you have made a decision with the Lord and you feel life going the opposite direction, hold up. Before you become all self conscious and you go into shame and condemnation. It may be a sign that God is trying to reveal that you already got it.

That's so real. Thank you man. What are ways people can get connected to you? Website, socials, all of that. How can people find you?

Website is under construction but right now you can catch me on social media randonjsmithson on all social media accounts and I'd love to connect with you.

Thank you so much man. Thank you for joining us at Made for Monday. All of you tuned in to Made for Monday. Thank you guys so very much. A shameless plug if you're looking for a way to take better sermon notes, don't forget we have our book Sermon Notes on Amazon. Just search Sermon Notes and you'll see our Sermon Note church book where we talk. We want you to check in with your emotions. Where you are when the sermon starts, where you are when the sermon ends, what songs the choir sung, your praise team sung. We want to make sure and be intentional with you in worship as well. Some things stood out to me that I don't want you to forget. History makers are notetakers. I think it's very important that you apply that, whether you're applying that in church or applying that on your job. That when you're in your meeting at work, if you're going to make history, you take notes. I think it's essential to apply things to a season, as he said. That was very powerful to recognize that things you may hear something or grab something today that doesn't apply to you until two years from now or it applied to a part of you that's unhealed. So hold on to those things and let's say our affirmations say, I am me. I could be me. No one will stop me from being me. You were made for Mondays. Mondays don't own you. You own your Mondays. Now go forth to be the best person God called you to be. See you next week.