51. Trent Shelton: Author of Straight Up

Hello, Book Thinkers family, and welcome to episode number 51 of our personal development podcast, Book Thinkers Life-Changing Books. During each episode, I interview one of the world's top authors, and as a listener, you can expect to discover new books, new mentors, and new resources that you can use to achieve more and live better. In this episode, I have the pleasure to interview author Trent Shelton. Trent is a retired NFL player, a top motivational speaker, and a podcast host who has dreams of traveling the world to help others respect their greatness. Trent is seriously one of the top influencers in the personal development space with millions of followers on his various social platforms. His message has positively impacted a massive amount of people. His nonprofit Rehab Time encourages personal change. Now, our conversation today is all about his recent release, Straight Up: Honest, Unfiltered, As Real As I Can Put It Advice for Life's Biggest Challenges. Trent is one of the first people that I followed in the personal development space all the way back to when I was playing high school football. So this conversation has been a long time coming. Without further ado, please enjoy this amazing conversation with Trent Shelton. Mr. Trent Shelton, thank you so much for coming on the Book Thinkers Life-Changing Books podcast. How are you doing today, man?

Doing good, Nick. Thanks for having me, man. Uh, you know, been wanting to connect with you for a while, so we're finally here. And, um, thank you, man, for sharing your platform with me.

Absolutely. For those in the audience that aren't familiar with your work, could you give a brief introduction and tell everybody a little bit about who you are?

Yeah, man, you know, I'm a former NFL player. I say that because sports was my whole life. That ended. I never had a clue to, or even a want to be a speaker, author growing up. Me hitting rock bottom, a close friend of mine committed suicide, walked me into my purpose. And now I just like to consider myself, you know, a guy that loves to help people with self-worth, you know, that helps people find the rare breed inside them and just try to be the greatest version of themselves as I help myself. So people call me a speaker, author. all those titles, but I'm just a guy that wants to help people.

Well, you're a guy that helps a lot of people. What year was it when you first got behind the camera on Facebook and started shooting those short videos?

Man, that was probably 2010-ish, I would say. You know, before that it was YouTube and like, yeah, it was early, man. I mean, I was on, so I was on Facebook in college, I went to Baylor, you know, when it was just college. So I was one of the first schools to just have the Facebook thing. I started recording videos on there. First, it was like Ustream and BlogTV. I don't know if you're familiar with those. And then YouTube. And then I went to Facebook probably 2010.

Yeah, I might have been. I might have caught some of those early YouTube videos. But so I graduated high school in 2012. And I know that during high school, I also played football. I know that I was watching your content and I was getting those short motivational videos. And you were one of the first people that I followed in this space years before I even started reading. So It's cool to finally connect with you. Yeah, man, I go way back with your content and, and I wanted to ask you some questions about that. So I understand, and we'll touch on maybe the NFL kind of last moments in the NFL in just a couple of moments, but when did you decide that you wanted to get into speaking and writing and how did that, how did that interest get sparked?

So speaking, it's funny, man, I'm an introvert, like, and I've shared it a lot. And I mean, people who just know me from, from the internet, you know, it's hard for them to believe, but people who know me outside the internet, it's hard for them to believe that I'm speaking all the time. So—

Yeah.

I'm just an introverted person by nature. I'm just a thinker. And so I love to write, like I love music, you know, I rapped a lot. And so spoken words, that's why you see those spoken words. So I always loved to write throughout my whole entire life. My dad was a poet, so I'm always writing, so I have notebooks just of written stuff, never in the sense of writing books, but just, you know, songs or poetry. I love that. Speaking, you know, it was kind of, it was kind of, I wouldn't say forced on me, But I had a friend in college and he played with me with the Redskins. He's still my friend to this day, Jonathan Evans. His dad is Dr. Tony Evans, you know, out in Dallas. And they had an event at their church. And at that time I was rapping at that. And I was like, man, I'll come rap. And he was like, no, I want you to speak. He's like, I had conversations with you, man. You're pretty deep. And I want you to speak to these kids. They're gonna relate to you. So that was the first time I really jumped, I guess, in the fire in front of a whole bunch of people was back in like 2011, 2012, to a room full of kids, which is hard, you know, talking to teenagers. So, but that's the moment that I realized that, you know, I think this is what I was called to do.

Wow, I love that. I always love hearing some of those early decisions and sort of what triggered sort of who Trent Shelton is today. And then your most recent release, Straight Up, that's the purpose of today's conversation. Who is the target reader for this book and why did you decide to write it?

Yeah, man. So the target reader is young adults. But it's for everybody. So I have adults that buy the books for their children, it's like, I need this book.

Yeah.

So, you know, when you read it, you might see some young adult examples, but it's for everybody. And I wanted to write a book that was easily digestible. So my Greatest You book, I feel like it's an easy read, but it's more for a reader. I wanted to write a book because I was on Snapchat at the time, you know, when Snapchat was bigger. And I asked, I was like, hey, would y'all read a book? And they were like, no, we don't want to read. And so I asked my son Tristan, he's 12. And I was like, man, how can I— I said, what if I had just like short chapters about all these different things, 52 different things, which I read. And I was like, yeah, it would— I would be more open to read it. So I wanted to make it where it was easy to pick up, easy to read, easy to digest, and you really had no excuse about, I don't read books, to allow that to prevent you from reading the book.

That's a great mission. And so the 52 lessons that are in the book, like you said, they're all told in the form of stories and they're all very relatable. They're, they're also very short. So what I thought we could do, and I told you a little bit about this, but what I thought we could do is touch on the first 10. give everybody a brief introduction to the book. And then by the end of this episode, for everybody listening, you'll be able to decide if it's a good fit for you. So lesson number 1, sink or swim. You start off the book with a story, a race that you were participating in, and it got kind of hairy at the end there. So could you recount that for everybody?

I can laugh about it now, but yeah. So back in around that, I think it was 2012-ish, I was, uh, I was a trainer. And I was at 24 Hour Fitness and we created this culture there, like before it was even big on group training, it was called Black Ops. And so we had this culture of like, I mean, imagine, you know, 8 different instructors, but like 60, 70 people like working out with, with like army fatigue and eye pain and everything. So it was cool.

Yeah.

And so what we decided to do was like do mud runs and races. And it's funny because the first race that I did, like, I was like, I'm an athlete, I ain't gotta train for this, I'm a football player. And we know I'm just used to sprinting. I wasn't a long-distance guy and I wasn't a trail runner. So I got out there, my back got tight. I didn't— I finished it, but like I barely finished and I was embarrassed. So I was like, you know what, this next one, like I'm going to train. Like I'm going to go out on the trails, train and figure it out. I said, I got to make sure I get top 3 because I'm the, I'm the guy training everybody else, so I can't be in last. So that competitive edge kicked in. So we had this race. Make a long story short, I ended up getting— I was like 3rd until the last obstacle. Now, last obstacle was just the wall climbing. You zipline into like a man-made pond or lake. So I was like, cool. But I didn't realize like how tired I was. I didn't realize how cold the water was. And I didn't realize how long the swim was because I can swim. I drop into the water. As soon as I hit the water, I knew I made a mistake because I caught a full body cramp. I couldn't swim at that time. It was cold. And as I'm swimming, I'm like, oh, Okay, let me just fight through it. But it was so far of a swim that I started to panic. And at that time, I'm like literally drowning, like, and it got to a point it was so bad that I just, I knew I was gonna die. And I was like, dang, like, save me. And so the last push that I make to the top, I see a guy jump in who wasn't supposed to even be jumping in. And he saved my life. Basically, he saved my life. And that's how that story went, man. But in that moment, I realized You know, you know, not just in physical, you know, swimming, but in life. There's gonna be times where you have a flood of problems. You have times where you feel like you're sinking. You have times where just storms are coming in your life. And then those times you have a choice. You can sink or you can swim. And the thing that I love to tell people, Nick, is, you know, people will save you if you learn how to save yourself. So in that water, if I wouldn't have been kicking and fighting and screaming for help loud, I would have sunk to the bottom. No matter how much that guy wanted to save me, he wasn't going to save me. So I had to do my part in order to be saved. And so that's kind of the lesson of the story is like, don't be afraid to call out for help when you're going through tough times.

Yeah, in the book you say the only way to get out of a bad situation is to stop pretending that you're not in one. And I think a lot of us pretend that we're not in a bad situation. And then that leads into lesson number 2, which you call Grab the Buoy. I need help. It's an underrated question. A lot of people need to be asking that. And so, uh, what was the question that the gentleman who threw you the buoy asked?

Yeah, so he, so he asked me, he said, well, once he pulled me back in, he was, he was, he's like, why would you get in here if you can't swim? Right? And I'm like, and at that time I'm like exhausted. Like I'm tired, I'm delusional. And I asked him back, I was like, why would you wait so long to come jump in here and save me? And I was serious. But I'm gonna tell you, the thing was, and you brought up a good point, Nick, it's like, at that moment I was too cool to ask for help because my first helps were like, okay, I hope somebody sees me because there were people there that knew me, you know, they're like— I'm like, okay, somebody's gonna come here and help me. And there's actually a guy who ziplined after me that's like, he's swimming and he saw me struggling, he looked at me, he kept going. So I was like, I guess he wants to, you know, I don't want to mess up his time. But it was, it was like silent helps at first, like, help, help. And then it got to the point where I actually have to call out for it and lose my cool and say, I need help. And the thing about life, man, when you ask for help, you'll realize that there's a lot of people in the world that are waiting to help you too, but you have to be able to voice it and not keep your battles silent.

Yeah, it's such a valuable lesson. And in the book, you paint sort of a couple different situations that maybe people can relate to. Like you're a student in class and the teacher says something, you don't understand it, but you're too scared to lose your cool. So you don't ask the question and you fall behind and that can lead to a lot of problems later. And Mental health. I mean, there's so many situations where people just need to stick their, their hand up, I guess, and lose the cool a little bit more often.

Yeah, man. I mean, to get answers, you gotta, you gotta ask questions and ask for help. And I've realized that in my life. And so I try to tell any kids that I'm around, any person, like, if you don't know how to do something, maybe the kids that I coach in sports, if you don't know how to run this play or run this route, just ask. Like, I'm not going to be upset if you ask, but if you go out there and mess up the play because you were too afraid to ask, then we'll have a problem. So just ask for help. Because people want to help you.

Well, my business partner at Book Thinkers, Ryan, who's going to jump on at the end of today's conversation, he's great with this. Like, he's completely separated himself from his ego in learning situations, and he's never afraid to ask what he calls a dumb question. He's never afraid to look dumb. He's always asking for clarification, even if it's something that maybe he slightly already understands or would look a little bit foolish because he's in a room full of professionals and he's supposed to be professional, but he's just so good at it and And I think a lot of us could take after that lesson that you talked about.

Yeah, I love to say a lot of smart people just ask a lot of dumb questions. Yeah, you know, that's how they became smart. So ask them.

I love that. So lesson 3, what if the end isn't the end? Can you recount sort of your last days in the NFL and what that experience was like for you?

Yeah, man. Um, you know, that was my dream that ended up turning into a nightmare. And so I would say 2008, when I got cut from the Seahawks, that's when I hit my breaking point. And I played another year with the Redskins, but 2008 was, was the year where I just felt like my life was over. I felt like, you know, I knew the Redskins would give me a shot, but it's so hard when you're not on the team and you're getting in there after OTAs and in training camp, they already got their guys. So I was like, man, like, what am I gonna do with my life? And, you know, I didn't even love the game anymore, but I was holding on to it like a lot of people do, not from sports, but Just in general, we hold on to things that we know we don't love anymore, we should let go of, but we hold on to it because we're so afraid to let go because we ask ourselves, who would I be without this? Like, my whole life, my whole identity is wrapped around it. Some people stay in relationships that aren't good for no more, or friendships, or jobs, because their identity is wrapped around it. And so at that time, you know, I had to come to a realization that if I keep holding on to this, for one, it's going to end, but for two, I'm delaying my healing, I'm delaying my progression. And so I just told myself, like, I remember sitting in my room, and I don't know if I put this in the book or not. I don't know if it was in The Greatest Year or this one, but I, I told myself, I was sitting in my room and I was looking around. This was 2009, and this is when I started Rehab Time, like the words. And I asked God this question, like, is this the end? And I'm looking at like all my trophies, I'm looking at my son Tristan that was just born, his pictures. I'm like, is this the end? And it was just a calm answer in my soul. I believe God was speaking to me that said, it's just the beginning. And it gave me some calm in my soul, and the words rehab time popped in my head. And it wasn't to be a speaker at that time. It was just rehab was getting my mind and my body and my soul right. I call it the Trinity of Excellence. And I just control what I can control at that time and start making those decisions to better my life.

Gives me goosebumps. I love hearing stories like that. And, and so for people who maybe are aware every once in a while that they're in a bad situation, but they kind of fall back in love with the poison and they just keep taking it on a daily basis. What are some tips or tricks or things that maybe you could guide them on as far as creating additional awareness in their lives?

Yeah, I think you have to— I think one thing is, you know, you have to be, you know, face your reality. And this is hard. And what I mean by facing reality, I have a rehab process, and that's the first process. And I love to tell people, you'll never win your war by running from your battles. So, you have to face the reality and it's being self-aware. Sometimes we don't even know that we're in a bad situation, you know. So, the first step is understanding what you really want for your life. So, I think asking yourself some questions like, okay, what does love look like? What do I like? What do I want my life to be? What does the greatest version of myself look like? What am I around? Who am I around? What am I feeling? What am I doing? Because when you have a mountaintop to shoot for now, then you can say, okay, Let me, let me deconstruct this and say, okay, this isn't getting me there, this isn't helping me. And I like to look at everything as bridges in my life. And the thing I would tell the listeners right now that's watching or listening is, if you look at everything as a bridge, right, every conversation, every person, every habit, whatever, ask yourself this question. It's a simple question. Is this leading me to the person that I want to be? the greatest version of myself, as I like to say, or is this leading me away from it? And you have to be truthful. And if it's leading you away from it, you have to either make the decision or accept that you'll never meet the greatest you by keeping this in your life. And so for me, that was my first thing. It was looking in the mirror and say, it all starts with you. It was taking responsibility and saying, if I want to change, I have to make the hard decisions to change, because if not, I'm never going to move forward in my life. And even if I do move forward, I'm going to get to new destinations carrying the same baggage. So, and that's pointless because as soon as you get there and you unpack those bags, you still have those same problems, those same habits, even if you're in a new destination.

The burning bridges piece was really important for me to read and listen to because, and maybe for a different reason than you would expect, I went through a process of intentionally burning bad bridges a few years ago, but I didn't have the tools or the way to articulate it that you provide the reader in this book. And so when I went through that process, it was messier. than it should have been because I couldn't accurately describe where I was going and the bridges that I was trying to build and connect to. And so I think that it was rough for me. And I wish that I'd had this resource and that I had maybe listened to one of your talks about burning bridges, but people are so scared of burning bridges, right?

Yeah.

It's permanent, but sometimes it's necessary. And so are there some common examples of bridges that people should be burning or should be looking at and saying, this isn't as healthy as healthy as maybe I think it is?

Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, we first think about people, you know, we first say like, you know, because that's just our mind as humans and saying, oh, it's everybody else's fault. And yeah, it might be some people in your life that, you know, you have to learn how to love from a distance. You know, for me, I had to change my circle because your environment will influence who you are. So that's one thing. But also, it's about looking at your own life and saying, What habits in my life do I have that don't serve me? And this is the hard part because now you got to look within and make changes within. And so for me, some of my habits were I wasn't disciplined, you know, I had to change that and burn that bridge. I lived in procrastination. I had to change that and burn that bridge. And I had to accept the responsibility that, you know, maybe it's not everybody else. I love to say like the BC mindset, blame and complain. Maybe it's not everybody else. Maybe it's you giving permission to those people or permission for these habits to ruin your life. And so, um, I would tell you, you know, be honest with yourself and real with yourself. And, and this is a great leverage. I love to say, like, you got to have leverage statements in your life that gain leverage over you. For me, my main leverage that always keeps me accountable— I just got finished running some miles, like, and I told myself this, even though it might seem crazy to say— always tell myself Do I want to die unhappy, or do I want to die unhealthy? Do I want to die incomplete? And those things always pull me because my answer is no. Like, I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying without fully living my life. And so that is the thing, like, this keeping me from fully living my life, I have to let it go. And that's the leverage in my life. So come up with a leverage statement that really pushes you to make decisions.

Hello, Book Thinkers family. A quick word from today's podcast sponsor. Today's episode is sponsored by Audible. Audible is the leading provider of spoken word entertainment and audiobooks ranging from bestsellers to celebrity memoirs, business, and my favorite, personal development. And as part of Audible's partnership with us, we're actually offering listeners a free 30-day trial. This trial includes 1 credit good for any premium selection titles you'd like on the whole platform. So that's pretty much any book. including the one we're talking about today. That book is yours to keep even after the trial is over. Now, this trial also includes access to Audible's Plus catalog of podcasts, audiobooks, guided wellness programs, and Audible Originals. You can listen all you want, no credits needed. Now, everyone on the Book Thinkers Instagram knows that I love physical paper books. There's nothing better than having a book in your hand, scribbling notes everywhere in the margins. I kind of tear those things up. But I've been completing an additional 20 to 30 books every single year using Audible by listening when I'm in the car, doing chores around the house, or while I'm on my morning walks or runs. You could take advantage of this free trial by clicking the link in today's show notes or going to www.bookthinkers.com/audibletrial. You will not regret it. Now back to today's episode. I like that idea of something that has leverage over you. So as an example, right now during Lent, the Lenten season, I gave up drinking any alcohol because I know that alcohol is unhealthy. You had a similar situation. You had to change your circle because you were going out too much. I'm not going out too much because of COVID but it's just the alcohol. I mean, it ruins your sleep and it makes it harder to get up the next morning. It also decreases your ability to work the next day and mental fog and all that kind of stuff. And so a good leverage over me, a rule that I won't break, is during the Lenten season I have 40 days where I'm not going to drink. And so that's, that's another kind of different example of what you're talking about.

That's what's up too, man. Proud of you, man.

Yeah, thank you, thank you. Why, here's another one that I don't think I've told on the podcast before. When I was in college senior year, I was going out a lot, like, like what you were talking about. You're going out a few days a week. I wasn't an athlete in college, so I think I, I partied a little bit More than, than you would if you were an athlete. And I decided the second half of my senior year that instead of going out on Thursday nights, I would dedicate my Thursday nights to reading books. And it was the craziest thing for all of my friends, and nobody understood it. Nobody ever stayed back with me either, which is okay. But it was just one of those rules. I set it in place. I made myself externally accountable, and then I was able to grow from there and sort of burn that Thursday bridge, which is fun.

That's what's up, man. You replaced a habit that didn't serve you with a habit that did serve you, and people didn't get it. And I always say, you know, growth, greatness is often misunderstood. So I teach my son Tristan all the time, and I don't— I didn't talk about this in this book, but I love, I love to be in environments that nobody else is there. It lets me know I'm in the right place. If everybody's in a place, and I'm probably like, ah, I want to be a rare breed. So I'm like, okay, I need to wake up early because nobody else is awake, or I need to be here doing this. And so You being alone reading books lets you know that you're doing something that everybody else isn't doing.

Yeah, that rare breed feeling is pretty special. Like, you know, you're working before other people are up. I mean, that's a common example, but you know you're working when your competitors aren't. Or, I mean, comparison is bad, I guess, and we'll talk about that in a second. But, um, yeah, I'm fueled by that too. And the rare breed thing is, is your thing. I like that, like uncommon amongst the uncommon. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Real quick, we'll go back to lesson 4 because I want to make sure we touch on it real quick. So you call it own your past before it owns you. What do you mean by that?

Yeah, so, you know, we're— and I get it, like, I'm not insensitive to anybody because I know how it is to, you know, be chained to your past. And oftentimes it's, it's not necessarily like us chaining ourselves to our past, but it's often the opinions and people around us and how the world sees us, and we're so afraid to show our past, right? We're so afraid to talk about it because it's like— it's like for me, I have people today that literally would be like, Trent isn't like that. Like, I knew Trent in high school. I'm just like, that was like 20 years ago. I said, I hope I'm not the same person I was from high school. I'm not. And I think some of us are so afraid Because of that, but at the same time, if you don't own your past, it will control you, it will own you, and it will keep you in a prison of stagnation instead of allowing your past to use you. So I always say own your past, you can earn your future. So own it, talk about it. And the more you talk about it, you have to realize that your past pain, your past tribulations, transgressions will be future strength for someone else. And so even with my son, I'm an open book with him. And even with Straight Up, there's things that I went through in my past that I know other people are going to learn from. So now they don't have to make those same mistakes because people say the best teacher is experience, and I agree with that to an extent, but I think someone else's experience is the best teacher because I don't have to go through it if I don't have to go through it.

Yeah.

So that's what I mean by that, like not letting your past own you. Own it, use it. It's kind of like the 8 Mile, right? Eminem, you know, in that whole rap battle, how he flipped it on Papa Doc and said, okay, you gonna talk about me? I'm gonna talk about myself first. So what do you have to use against me now? So that's how I kind of look at it when I'm attacking the world with owning my past.

It's a super important lesson, I think, for everybody. And I had a very definitive moment at the end of last year where finally I was able to own my past. I mean, I've always kind of talked about to the Book Thinkers audience that in my late teens, early 20s, a little bit, I came from a place of ego and insecurity, which are 2 really bad places to operate from. And personal development books, that's kind of what saved me. That's kind of what helped me have a definitive inflection point and swing to the other end of the spectrum. But then I read Built to Serve by Evan Carmichael. And I know that you've done a little bit with Evan.

Yeah.

And he says, your purpose comes from your pain. Like you need to talk about the pain so that other people can go through the journey and avoid the obstacles like you're saying right now. And so I finally was able to say on a different podcast, like, yeah, I do care about impact. Just because in high school, in college, I didn't care about impact, I shouldn't hide from that. Like, it fuels me today and it makes me really fulfilled. So anyway, I'm happy that I can own that now. And that's just an example of what you're preaching, which I love.

That's so dope, man.

Yeah. I appreciate it. So let's— I know that we only have like 10 minutes left, so we can go through a couple of these pretty quick. Lesson 6 is the worst phrase ever. So what's the worst phrase ever?

That would be easier said than done. Yeah, you know, and it's because I use that phrase so much, but every time I open my inbox, Nick, every time there's somebody that's going to say on my lives, Trent, that's easier said than done. And I'm like, I'm super— I'm probably super insensitive. I'm like, duh. I was like, everything in life is everything, everything, everything in life is easier to say it than it is to do it. And so the thing is, is that we keep ourselves in a prison perspective when we say that, right? We think about all the reasons why we can't do it. We count ourselves out. I like to say we give ourselves a death sentence instead of a life experience. Legendary people— when I say legendary, I'm not talking about a blue check by someone's name. I'm not talking about a celebrity. But legendary people are people who, who own their past, who, who impact the world, who use their life for, for goodness. We don't say, you know, easier said than done. We say no matter how hard it may be, no matter how impossible it may seem, I'm going to get it done. I'm going to figure it out.

Yeah.

So don't put yourself in a limitation by saying, ah, it's easier said than done. But you know what? You know what's hard is staying in that pain, you know. So choose your hard. Either you can stay in the pain or you can go through the hardness of progressing that leads to a better life. So I always tell people, choose your hard. One hard is permanent that you experience and you know about, then the other hard is figuring it out. But That hard becomes easier and turns into strength in the future.

I love that. A lot of people in my community, including myself, started our personal development reading journeys with Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. And in that book, he says we need to reframe people from I can't afford it to how can I afford it? But a lot of us leave it there. We just think about it in terms of money and success. And what you're saying is you need to apply that same thought process to the rest of your life. instead of easier said than done, it's I'm gonna get it done. And that's a really cool perspective shift.

Yeah, can't is a curse word in my house. I love that. You know, like my daughter, literally funny, she the other day, Maya, she's 4, she's like, the babysitter said a bad word. And I'm like, what did she say? And she didn't want to say. I was like, say it. What'd she say? She said, she said can't. And I was like, that's right. Go tell her we don't say can't around here.

That's amazing. That's amazing. Speaking of your relationship with your children, do you put them through affirmations or do you sit down and have these kind of one-on-one discussions with them about self-worth?

Yeah, for sure. Um, my daughters are a little bit different than my son. Tristan's 12, so we get a lot of our affirmations during working out. Actually, when we get off here, we're gonna go work out. And just having him, you know, persevere, and always have him, you know, talk about things and things that he's learned and things he's gonna hold on to. Like, what's your reason? What's your why? You know, what are you getting through this? So just really helping his perspective become his power. And my daughter, with 4, I'm just having her tell her, I'm beautiful, I'm strong, you know. And just those words to remind herself of that. So yeah, all the time.

Yeah. Well, let's wrap up with a combination of sort of lessons 8 and 9, forgiveness. It's a really interesting topic. It's a really important topic. And I don't think enough of us are aware of the damage that not forgiving other people or not forgiving ourselves can have. And so I'd love to have you share some wisdom on forgiveness.

Yeah, forgiveness is simply freedom. You know, I know it's hard to forgive yourself at times. I know it's hard to forgive people. Especially when you were done wrong. But the thing that I love to tell people is, is a few things. Number one, if you don't free yourself, that situation will control you. So if it's somebody else, don't give that person the power to control your future that tried to ruin your past or did ruin your past. And if you don't forgive them, what happens is we usually become the pain that the person gave us, the pain that we hated. You know, how many people right now are carrying the pain from someone else and now giving the pain to another person, right? It's a bad relationship and now it makes you not trust somebody. So even with me, I'll be real, like, there's— and I can't get into the story because it'd be too long, but I had a business relationship when I first started and this guy did me wrong. Like, he did me wrong flat out and it made me sour because I'm a person that I trust everybody, I give my trust away, but when it's abused, I take it back really quick.

Very average.

So he he did some things that weren't ethical, and I was like, I'm not working with nobody anymore, like at all. And what happened was I became so cold-hearted to other opportunities that I was keeping people out that deserved to be in. And so when it talks about forgiveness, don't allow— don't make people pay for mistakes that they didn't make. So you have to learn how to forgive and realize that was that person. And another thing with forgiveness is, I guess, a mind shift that might help you is understanding. You know, when you take time to understand maybe that person grew up a certain type of way, they didn't have a chance to be, you know, a good person, or they didn't have a chance to know what love was. They never got that. And so a lot of people are recovering from their childhood. A lot of people are on this journey experiencing. So I like to understand because it helps me not take it personal. I'm like, oh, it's a them thing, not a me thing. So if they were whole, if they were happy, they had joy in their life, they wouldn't be trying to do the things that they do. So that helps me give forgiveness. So— Forgiveness is freedom. I don't want to carry that weight around for the rest of my life that someone else gave me. I want to let it go.

I think for people like you and people like me who live in this space and consume this kind of information, we hear questions from people all the time and, and we have access to things like Forgiveness Is Freedom. We sometimes take it for granted, but I, I remember my first introduction to reading about forgiveness. It was in a book called The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani. And in the book, there's a call to action to take that weight off your shoulder. Forgive people immediately. And so I got out my phone and I called up a couple people, and I didn't, I didn't realize what the weight was like. I didn't realize that it was there and I was carrying it around every day until it was gone. And it felt so good to get that weight off my shoulders. And, and I genuinely forgave them. Like, it happened a lot easier than I thought it was going to. And so such wise words. And if this As a listener, if this is your first experience really thinking about the weight of forgiveness, I would encourage you to pick up the phone and call somebody and, and get it sort of over with. You'll be surprised at how great it feels.

Can I, can I add this, Nick, real quick?

Yeah, of course.

With forgiveness, and I think a lot of people are afraid because they think forgiveness excuses a behavior, you know, forgiveness doesn't excuse the behavior, doesn't make the behavior right. And forgiveness also doesn't mean you have to put yourself back in the situation, you know, so just understand that it doesn't mean that you have to give this person another chance, right? But you just say, okay, I forgive you. I'm gonna let this weight go. And if you want to, you know, that's you. But realize forgiveness doesn't mean you have to give another chance when somebody abused the first 80.

Yeah, no, great advice. Well, Trent, this conversation was a long time coming, and I'm very happy that we had the opportunity to have it. I know that if people in my community weren't aware of you before, they certainly will be now. And I hope that they show you a lot of love and contribute to your content and And get to digest it as much as they can. For people that want to learn a little bit more about you and what you do, where should they go? What should they do?

Yeah, so @TrentShelton on any social media site. Um, rarebreedacademy.com is something that I'm doing right now that's— that I love. And so that would be the 2 places I would say to check me out, just @TrentShelton, trentshelton.com, and Rare Breed Academy.

Amazing. We'll make sure we keep it in the show notes.

Appreciate it, man. Oh yeah, you can text me too, by the way. So, uh, y'all can just put in the show notes, our 817-242-2719. I send out daily inspiration, it's free. So if you want to get some daily inspiration, uh, just shoot me a text.

Perfect. For everybody that's still listening, Ryan at Book Thinkers subscribes to the text and he has a lot to say about it. It's all very positive. So I'll make sure I put that all down there. Thank you.

Thank you, brother. I appreciate you.

That is a wrap. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Book Thinkers, Life-Changing Books. It would mean the world to us if you could write a review and share this episode with a few of your friends. I mean, these books truly have the power to change people's lives, and by reviewing or sharing our podcast, you're helping us make an impact. If you have any recommendations for future guests or any constructive feedback for us on how we can improve our show, please feel free to submit a form on our website. www.bookthinkers.com or send us a direct message on Instagram @bookthinkers. With that, I am signing off and I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't forget, go read something.