58. Brian Covey: Author of Conversations with Covey

Hello, Book Thinkers family, and welcome to episode number 58 of our personal development podcast, Book Thinkers Life-Changing Books. During each episode, I interview one of the world's top authors. And as a listener, you can expect to discover new books, new mentors, and new resources that you can use to achieve more and live better. In this episode, I have the pleasure to interview author Brian Covey. Brian has mastered the art of a growth mindset, the art of winning, and the art of staying fit. Brian believes in integration, hard work, and consistency. He is an executive at Loan Depot, a proud father, an influencer, a top-rated podcaster, and just simply a fabulous soccer dad. Now, our conversation today is all about his brand new release, Conversations with Kobe: 11 Powerful, Inspirational, and Hope-Filled Lessons from Today's Biggest Leaders. The format of this book is very unique, and I think that we actually might end up doing something very similar here at Book Thinkers. You'll find out what that means in just a minute. You will love Brian's energy and enthusiasm about life. So without further ado, please enjoy this amazing conversation with Brian Covey. Brian, thank you for jumping on the Book Thinkers Life-Changing Books Podcast. How are you doing today?

Good, Nick. Just a beautiful Friday. Excited to talk with you. share a little bit more about the book.

Yeah, I'm excited too. I finished it up a few weeks ago. It was a really fun read. And we're going to talk a little bit about the structure of the book to kick things off. But before we do, for those in the audience that are not familiar with you and your book, can you tell everybody a little bit about yourself?

Yeah. So, my name is Brian Covey, originally from Memphis, Tennessee. I've been married right at 19 years, 3 amazing kiddos, been in the mortgage finance industry and real estate for almost 20 years. And my career really started prior to joining the industry as a professional soccer player. I'd played on the Olympic team, and all this kind of has developed into who I am. So I'm kind of one of those disruptors. We've got a podcast that we've launched. This was my first book, and I call myself just pretty much an active and one of those seeking to learn and grow myself and always trying to surround myself with great people, and was really kind of the genesis of the podcast and then the book as well.

So, you just mentioned the podcast. Can you tell us a little bit more about who you have on the show and why you started it? Yeah.

So, I couldn't come up with a better name other than The Bryan Covey Show. So, we rolled with that because I didn't want to pick anything. Some of the ones I wanted, the names were already taken. And so, in light of getting to actually delivering it, went ahead and went with that easy name. We've brought on everybody from entrepreneurs to former pro athletes to speakers that you'd see on large stages. And people that have written books, running successful businesses. And I've tried to have a diversity of guests. They have a common thread though. They have adversity that they've dealt with in their life, typically pretty severe, that they've had to overcome something that's a pretty big life challenge that we'd all have there. Everything from cancer to filing multiple bankruptcies to, you know, their world falling apart to being the first generation of their family to move in from another country and starting from ground zero. All of those things, you'll find those guests. And I'm always seeking to learn from, from them of how they took massive action from where they were and started with what most would consider little to nothing, or they had a setback that was huge and they've turned that into success. And oftentimes we don't see the actual journey of people, we just see their success, right? And so we wanted to highlight that. What we also do though is equip you with tools and tactics and actual steps of how did they get to where they are, not just they had this, they magically were successful overnight, not how it happens. We're going to equip you with the tools and we're having a lot of fun. There's some wonderful guests you definitely want to check out. You'll find some of your story within theirs and also some life application.

No, I'm happy I brought it up and I'm happy I became aware of you. I got the chance to listen to a couple episodes a month or two ago and it was a lot of fun. So, it's a really relaxed show. It's a very actionable show like you mentioned, and you've had a lot of cool people on. We share a couple of guests, which is always fun. fun. And so, you had the podcast going and then you decided, hey, I'm going to condense these conversations into a book. And so, what's really interesting to me about the structure of your book is it's something that applies directly to my life. But then I started to think about it and I'm like, it's not the first time I've seen this. I read Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss.

Yeah.

But I haven't seen it done in this way before. Short, concise. It's a small book. It's very easy to read. And people often ask me if we would do the same thing now that I've brought it up a So, where did you come up with the idea to condense some of your favorite interviews into a book?

Yeah. So, it was really just reflecting back on the year, and I had talked about doing a book, always wanted to write a book, and I really, I wasn't landing on anything that just felt right. And there's a couple of things that we have in the works that I'll probably release a book that'll be different and has a different vibe to it. But this came up mainly from the feedback I got from people and recognizing in 2020, there were no real live events and we weren't able to go see people. And I thought, well, what if we could create a book that people could read? And if they didn't want to travel and see these people, what if we could orchestrate 10 or 11 of the best guests we had? And if you were to pay lots of money to go see all of them in one place, most people wouldn't have access to them. So, how could I create access to just any person today that they could afford to buy a book, right? $25 or less, and you could get access to some of the greats. And I wanted to consolidate it to make it really simple and digestible where you could pick up a chapter or you could read 5 chapters. You could go back to the chapters a year from now, 2 years from now. You could share it. You could use it in sales meetings. And so, I saw a lot of application with it, and I really wanted to give back in a way of highlighting the guests and the stories and the conversations I was able to have. And then I also included in the book, what did I learn and take away? So, as I had these conversations with amazing people, what were the actions that Brian took? What did I learn and actually go apply? And that would give people some direction and some inspiration in their own life that they could go apply that. And the feedback's been incredible. I go back, I read it. It's funny, my parents are reading it. And it doesn't matter your age or your background. What's cool is I think it's universal that you'll find some of your story in there and people that you connect with that could help improve your life wherever you are.

No, I think all of those points are fantastic. I often go back and listen to podcast interviews that I've hosted, and I'll take notes, and then I'll go back and I'll review those notes. It's essentially what you've done here. And I think that Book Thinkers will probably end up doing something very similar and will absolutely give you credit if you want credit in the book. Because I mean, at this point, we're doing an episode a week, and every year we can put out 2 books of 25 or whatever we want to do, 3 books of 15 or something like that. So you'll be the inspiration behind that. And I thought it was very unique because again, people in my audience are readers specifically. And so this is their preferred method to import information into their brains. Sometimes the podcast isn't the best fit for them. They're not a fan of audiobooks or audio content. And so this is a fantastic alternative. And what I really liked too is I opened up this book and the introduction, there's a quote from Bruce Lee and I'd like to read it and have you reflect on it for everybody. So the quote says, Ever since I was a child, I have had the instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential. So why did you decide to kick off the book with that quote?

Well, one, I love Bruce Lee, like watching some of the films with him. I did not know that quote was from him. And I was actually searching for a quote that had kind of been what my journey has been about and how I got to where I am. But also what I also see going forward in my life and how, as human beings, I believe we're designed with unique gifts and talents. I think God's gifted us with different ways to impact the world. But the reality we all have to come to terms with is our talents and gifts have to be worked on, right? Even though you may have them, it's like a sport. And I go back to soccer. Although I might have had certain talents, I had to train and work and do all type of speed and agility and strength training and things. And so, in your life, you've got to train. There's a game happening and it's called life. And I look at it this way. If I could help people recognize that they have skills and talents within them that they need to be developed and worked on, then they're going to be better to contribute in their communities, better husbands, better wives, better dads, moms, all that stuff in the community. That was kind of the genesis of what we did. So, that quote summed up, as I was looking for something just to really resonate with what I'm about and what we do. And, and we give people just a little bit of time to reflect and realize that none of us have it all figured out. No matter where you are in your life, it's the pursuit of that greatness that really we're after every day and just one, one step better, 1% better every day. And so that's why I chose it and it stuck with me.

Yeah.

Love that one.

Yeah, I'm a big quote guy. When I was in college and I first got into reading these amazing books, I would write down quotes on little note cards and I would stick them up on my wall and eventually had a huge collage of these quotes and I would review them systematically. automatically because there's just something that you can resonate with in the success of another person and in the way that they phrase it. And so that's a really cool way to kick off the book. I'm happy I asked about it. And so for everybody that's listening or watching now, what I'd like to do is walk through the first few chapters of the book and have a brief conversation about some of these interviews that you conducted. We could talk about some of the main themes in each one of these. And I think that'll be a great introduction for everybody listening to know whether or not this is going to be a good book for you or a good podcast for you to go listen to, as well as the book Thinkers Podcast. So chapter 1 is Brittany. And the thing that I wanted to talk about is the superfans. So why'd you start the book with Brittany's podcast episode? And what's this whole idea about superfans?

Yeah. Well, I think no matter what business you're in, there's a sales element to everything you do, whether you're trying to date and get married, whether you're talking to your kids and trying to get them to do things, whether you're in business and you've got a product or service. The reality is we need to create superfans all around us. in life. And so, I started with that because I think it's often overlooked. I think it's a very unique concept that we could all apply. And I was fascinated. I actually live in the same city as Brittany. I'd met her when she was speaking on stage at a HousingWire event. And I thought it was just cool to kick it off that way because there were some insights in there that would just get people to think about who you're surrounding yourself with, which is a theme throughout the book you'll find. And do you have superfans in your life, people that really love you and would go to battle for you and they are advocates for you. And if you can learn how to create superfans, I will tell you, no matter what industry or career you're in, it does make your life easier when you have people for you and rooting you on and helping you.

Yeah, no, I agree entirely. I've read a couple of books now about the concept of raving fans and how you want to show special attention to certain people in your community. And at Book Thinkers, we call everybody the Book Thinkers family. And so we say there are certain Book Thinkers family members that have a disproportionately positive sort of influence on our community. These people are sort of carrying the Book Thinkers flag around. They're in the comment section. They're having fun. And it's really important to show special attention to those people to make sure that you compliment them back and you make sure that you're showing love. You know, Gary Vaynerchuk, he's one of my favorite social media strategists who's out there in the speaking world. And he always says, listen, if you're not paying attention to your existing fans, base, your existing friends and family, you can't possibly go out there and expect more people to join your community. So I've always loved that concept.

Right.

Yeah. Chapter 2 is Raul Vasilis and Faith Over Fear. So I'm a big fan of the word faith. I have faith in action actually tattooed on me. And faith has been really important in my life. And so why did you decide to include that section in the book? And maybe you could share some of the things that you guys talked about?

Oh, man. So, Raul has a special place in my heart and my family and everyone. He coaches a lot of married businessmen with kids and that kind of balance of how do you run a business, be a dad, be a husband, be all these things that you're called to be, and knowing that we're kind of that wild at heart that's there and how do you deal with that? Because as men, sometimes we don't channel that the right way. So, I brought Raul in because I think no matter where your belief is in all of this, and I think we all recognize that there's a higher power, that God exists, however you view that, you've got to know faith matters. And many times, we let fear take over. And there are steps in my life, and we talked about this with Raul, that there are times you're just going to have to step out in faith and make a decision to go take action, and sometimes massive action. It could be changing a job. Relocating cities. It could be big things in your life. And guess what? We're all nervous and scared in those things. But what I found in successful people, and why I wanted to include that early, is when that foundation is right and you've got your faith right, it's unbelievable how you start to make decisions and it's less and less that you're worried about the risk. You realize even if you make a decision that wasn't the best, you can adapt and adjust and execute and move forward. And so, taking action is something that I've learned matters. But without faith, I wouldn't be where I am. And, you know, I felt like that was something I wanted to get as a foundational part to the book.

Yeah, no, and I'm happy that you did. I just read a line the other day in The Magic of Thinking Big, which is an excellent read. I don't know how I've read hundreds of books and I've never gotten to this one before. But I just read that action cures fear. And I really like how that this chapter relates to that foundation, because Once you realize that action is really the only thing that matters, it doesn't matter really necessarily what direction you're going in, you just need to be moving. You can course correct over time.

Yeah.

And you could deal with the obstacles as they come up. But inaction, in the book, he says it's a very fertile place for that fear to grow and compound and to turn into something pretty ugly. And so your book and the message that you share is Faith can help you lead, or faith can help you get to action, and then action is really what helps you accelerate in every direction of life. So it's pretty cool. What does action mean to you? So you shared with me that this is a very actionable book. You want people to be able to go and implement things. Why is that important to you?

I think many times we, we want to hit the home run, right? A lot of us, like, we just want to come out there, hit the home run, the grand slam, and all that stuff. And what I learned is action can be as simple as today, in your fitness journey, in your health, you need to get out and just take a walk. Well, that action is actually sometimes just laying out your outfit the night before and committing that you're going to do it. Many times, we make actions so big that it almost sets us back that we don't do anything when what I have found over time, the people that take action consistently over time will add up. And what I mean by that is if I were to just It's easy for people to probably relate to this, but if I were to go walk for 30 minutes a day, 7 times that week, right? So you can kind of do the math on that and figure out I'm probably walking, what is that, 210 minutes? Let's just say somebody, they're a powerhouse. They go work out and they do 2 incredible workouts, right? And they're both, let's just say that they're 45 minutes each, which would be hard for most people. And you spend all your energy doing that. Well, the person that was consistent and did the 30 minutes time and time again, You're building habits that I've found action doesn't just happen in one area of your life. When you take action in your faith, when you take action in your fitness, in your finances, in your family, you start to become a person that takes action. And so, I wanted to figure out like why do certain people take action and why do certain ones not? And for me, what I've realized, that moment I realized that in my mind, I'm realizing I don't want to go do this, I know I need to go do it. And so, I've tried to accelerate that time to say, you know what? Instead of sitting around and just thinking about going and doing something, I just go do something. And it's an old saying that one of my mentors shared is you can either act yourself into a better way of feeling or you can do it the other way, which some people do, is you wait till your feelings are just right and then you feel right, then you go take action. That will not lead to success. And so, I believe in acting and then your feelings will follow. And that's how you really control most of the feelings that set us back and hold us back from going and taking any action. So, that's, that's how I look at action is it can be small that adds up, but it's consistent. But it needs to be something that you recognize carries over to all areas of your life.

Yeah, resonates with me as I shared in a big way. I read The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy pretty early in my reading journey. And that book taught me that small steps in the right direction over a long period of time will lead to disproportionately positive outcomes. And it works in every area of life, like you shared, in relationships. It works in your physical activity. It works in your health. It works in your wealth. Obviously, we all know that now that we're reading so many financial literacy books and stuff like that. And it's comforting because they're very, very small steps. It doesn't take as much willpower to walk for 30 minutes as it does to do an intense workout for 45 minutes. And so it's less intimidating. It's easier to get over that hurdle. And then big momentum works in your direction. So that's great. Huge. Yeah. Chapter 4 is a special one since I've now read Matt's book, but it's all about Matt Newman. And so I read Starting at the Finish Line. He, uh, we were able to get in touch because of you. And I'm very happy that I read that book. I've read a lot of things that have shifted my perspective recently, and that was definitely one of them. So can you share a little bit about Matt's journey?

I'll tell you what. So I had connected up with Matt on social, and this was one of my favorite chapters and probably the one that connected with most people because we've all been impacted by either ourselves or someone in our family has dealt with things as severe as cancer, which basically he's dealing with. And that happens and you don't really know where to turn or what to do with it. And many times, the person on the other end, you don't know how to treat that person. I've often found that too, like when someone's sick or they lose a loved one or someone's going through something like cancer or they're dealing with a really big issue, we don't know how to treat them. And what Matt taught me was this perspective of the person in that situation wants you to treat them the same as you did before. They want you to be around them and encourage them and not to throw a pity party for them. And what he shared with me was no matter what your struggle or adversity or what you're dealing with, it pales in comparison to someone else. And to think that What we're going through doesn't have some meaning or purpose. I took that out of what he shared. And I believe, and I shared this with him, I said, I think you actually went through what you did and what you're sharing now is to inspire and help other people that are going through it because it's not spoken about a lot. And he had the courage and the story, and I related as a dad, man, early 40s, and to find out the way he found out, I don't want to give away his whole story, but like It just, I mean, had me in tears on the podcast to where it was like, I can completely relate to this guy. He's vulnerable enough to share it. I think for all of us, we have to recognize that we're going to deal with adversity. And actually, what I've found is the people that are able to deal with more adversity typically end up on the other side. It doesn't mean you'll be more successful financially or you're going to have this, but it does mean you're going to have emotional freedom and you're going to be able to serve people around you. And I think that's what we're all created to be and to do. And so, Matt's chapter, Wow. It was pulling on the heartstrings, everybody that read it. And I will tell you, I go back to that one a lot and I still stay in touch with Matt because his perspective is one I think we can all pull from no matter what we're going through and realize that we're here for a reason, but we also need to look at that big picture and every day needs to count. That was one thing he and I talked about is you're not promised tomorrow.

Yeah.

And so every day needs to matter and make it, make it count.

Yeah, I'm somebody who's currently in his late 20s now. And I just think late 30s, early 40s with a great family, you're in great health, great job, you get diagnosed with brain cancer. And I won't share that much of Matt's story either. I did an Instagram video recap and some other things for people that are interested in learning more about Matt's book. But for me, the biggest thing out of that book was that your cancer diagnosis, when it's given to you, you have 2 choices. You can be a victim or you can have an attitude of gratitude, essentially. And that's what Matt decided to do after sort of cursing at the ceiling for a few minutes and shedding some tears. And the doctors told Matt, yeah, up to 80% of your cancer recovery is dependent upon attitude. And I just thought, wow, I mean, our bodies respond so much to how we decide to look at the world. And that renewed perspective is so important for you as a father, for me as somebody who's younger and looking at like, where am I going to be in 10 or 15 years?

Yeah.

So, and I also, I recently read a book about somebody who lost his vision around the age of 20 and went on to say that losing his vision was a positive thing in his life, kind of in the same way that Matt had a wake-up call with his situation. And just wow, like I'm sitting here healthy, I have my eyesight and I don't have cancer. I need to wake up every single day and be as grateful as anybody that's ever lived. So great perspective.

Yeah, I love how he also added that he didn't let it define him. And he's actually defined cancer for people that it's not. It's not what it has to be. You can make some choices around that. And he's— man, what an inspiration.

Yeah. Hello, Book Thinkers family. A quick word from today's podcast sponsor. Today's episode is sponsored by Audible. Audible is the leading provider of spoken word entertainment and audiobooks ranging from bestsellers to celebrity memoirs, business, and my favorite, personal development. And as part of Audible's partnership with us, we're actually offering listeners a free 30-day trial. This trial includes 1 credit good for any premium selection titles you'd like on the whole platform. So that's pretty much any book, including the one we're talking about today. That book is yours to keep even after the trial is over. Now, this trial also includes access to Audible's Plus catalog of podcasts, audiobooks, guided wellness programs, and Audible Originals. You can listen all you want, no credits needed. Now, everyone on the Book Thinkers Instagram knows that I love physical paper books. There's nothing better than having a book in your hand, scribbling notes everywhere in the margins. I kind of tear those things up. But I've been completing an additional 20 to 30 books every single year using Audible by listening when I'm in the car, doing chores around the house, or while I'm on my morning walks or runs. You could take advantage of this free trial by clicking the link in today's show notes or going to www.bookthinkers.com/audibletrial. You will not regret it. Now back to today's episode. Now, you mentioned that you connected with Matt on socials. Is that where you get most of your podcast guests? Is that how you link up with them for the most part? Well, you said Brittany is in the same kind of hometown too.

Yeah. That was the one reason why I started the podcast originally. And then, you know, obviously morphed into the book was I realized that throughout my time, I've been very fortunate to build a great network. And what I've found is, you know, it kind of goes back to the theme of the book, You're just one person or one action away from changing your life. And I am what they say is a good dichotomy of persistent and patient. And so I found a lot of guests on social that I find their content, it resonates with me. And I realize, you know what? If I were to have a conversation with them, we could share something collectively in the world and that collective impact would be huge. And so, yeah, I reach out and I'm always trying to, just like anybody, that does what we do, I'm always just trying to connect with people. I recognize for me that fuels my juices in a way of I like to connect up with other people and that's fun because then you never know where that'll take you.

Yeah. A funny side tangent, but I also have recently realized the importance of networking. I mean, I've been doing it for the podcast and the Book Thinkers community is growing, but we were recently approached by I guess a mentor, somebody that we look up to in the space. And he said, let's write a book called Talk to Everyone because we had a little discovery call. My business partner Ryan shared this moment in college where he just decided to start talking to everybody and how it totally changed his life. And you're sort of sharing the same thing. Like there's a lot of value in virtually everybody else on this planet. And so the more time that we can spend questioning these people and learning from them and watching and observing and I mean, it's just such a beautiful way to accelerate. Yes.

That's what we're here to do is connect and contribute with others, right?

Yeah, absolutely. Chapter 5 is Victor Maya. And my favorite part of this chapter was do better once you know better. And there's sort of two sides to that. There's do better once you know better is a lesson that you can give other people, but it's also a lesson that you need to adopt for yourself. So I'd love to have you talk about that one for a little bit.

So Victor is a really cool one because he came over and his story, I won't give away all of it, just if you can picture this, he's coming over to the States with his family, speaks no English, and came over illegally. He'll tell you this and basically starts as a first generation here in the States and has nothing, like has literally nothing but the clothes on him. And he'll tell this story And you follow his journey into how he now has these amazing routines. And the big thing I took away from him was what ties into this quote. He accelerates his day and really gets everything done between 8 and 2. He says some days 8 and 12. And he leaves that afternoon to do other things in life and even works out in the afternoons and all that. He's so disciplined and committed. And what I was blown away, why I wanted to include him early, is to recognize that we all have an opportunity wherever you started. that he had to overcome what most would say are plenty of obstacles, but his structure in his day, and he's built several successful companies in the roofing business and all this other, but I love his discipline and commitment approach to life and just how he's very confident in who he is. He was confident in sharing his story, like, here's who I am. This is just who I am. And he's faced a lot of that adversity and people not agreeing with some things that he's done or how he came to the States and stuff. As he shared that, I just thought, man, he's not listening to the outside critics. He's just doing life and taking care of people and really building that. So, I love what he said there is once you know better, do better. In a way, he's learned, as we talked about many times, we learn on the job we're doing or the task or that season we're in. We can't wait until we've learned everything to make it perfect and go take action. So, it almost ties back in is why I like the correlation is We need to do some things. And as we learn, then it's really expected once you learn, it's almost like a new skill or a new language or in math, you learn something, now we need to go apply it. And I think oftentimes, you see people that, we share this in our industry, they might have been in the business 10 years, but are each of those 10 years growth years and they've learned and gotten better every year, or is it 10 of the same years? Where they did the same thing. They never got better. They never changed their habits. They never adopted new technology. They never changed their sales approach. It was just 10 years repeated. Those are 2 very different lives being lived.

Yeah, they are. Speaking of routines, so I've recently bulked up my morning routine. I'm waking up a little bit earlier, and I've added a couple other things that I know will compound over the next 5, 10, or 20 years. What does your morning look like? Do you have a structured morning routine that's in place?

So, I've tried a lot of different things, you know, and I've landed on, this is just for me, like trying all of them. I've done the 4:00 AM wake-up call, right? And get up and like, I typically like to slow down in the morning just for like 15 to 30 minutes to wake up, get some water, get fueled up. And I did the early morning workouts for a long time. Well, what happened last year with quarantine, with the kids are here, you know, I'm working from home and all that, is I tried some new things. I was testing out a lot. We'd work out mid-morning, 9 or 10 o'clock. So, I'd get a little bit done in the morning and then I would go work out and then I would come back. I actually found my energy was a little bit better for me. That's just the season I'm in. So, I like to get up in the morning, have some Brian time, like get my mind reflected. I do practice gratitude every day because I think there is a trigger that you're able to turn on sensories and things in your mind and your brain that if you're focusing there, they say you can't be feeling negative and grateful. The 2 emotions together can't coexist at the same time. So, I choose to be grateful and wake up and just actually say those things. And I'm talking about my day. I'm a big visualization person. I did that in sports. And so, I'll visualize my day. I look at my calendar.

Okay.

What do I have today? What are the things I need to be thinking about? Who do I need to reach out to? And I'll jot those down because my brain works as such. When I wake up, I do have a lot of ideas there and I need to speak them. So, I'll voice memo kind of to dictate because I'm a slow typer.

Yeah.

And I'll dictate those so I remember, hey, I need to reach out to Nick today, or I need to reach out to Victor today, and here's what I need to do, or an idea that's come up. So I like that structure. I like to have breakfast with my kids before— they all go to different places right now with their ages. So I like to spend a little time with the family, and then I'll go— right now I've got the workout still around that 9 or 10 o'clock. And then I come back in and I've got my energy through the afternoon and through the evening, which when my kids get home, they still need dad to show up. And so, that's been helpful with me. I try to turn off about that 5 or 6 o'clock depending on the day. Again, family is a priority for me and I want to be there. Right now, we got kids in sports and everywhere, but those would be the foundations. And I'll tell you, Nick, what I've kind of learned through this is to be flexible in how I approach and where I put those things in, but I am very committed and disciplined to these are the core rocks and the core values that I have each day. which with family, my faith, my fitness, obviously looking at finance stuff. And I want to get those in. So I'm disciplined on when they happen because I recognize I'm at that place in my life that if I don't get a workout in by 4 o'clock, I'm still disciplined enough that I'm going to go out and walk or get on the Assault Bike. I'm still going to get it done. Not everybody's there. So I will say I've done both routines where I had to schedule it because it wouldn't happen unless I got it done by 8 o'clock.

That's kind of where I am. If I don't get everything done before 9:00 AM, then, you know, then I'm sitting there at 6:00 PM looking to tone things down and I think, oh, I didn't do X, Y, and Z yet.

Yeah.

We'll skip over to chapter 7, David Meltzer, because you just talked a little bit about gratitude. And there's a line in this chapter where you say, the first key to living a happy life is to have the perception of gratitude. And that's a David thing. We had David on the show. We had a really cool conversation about gratitude. So you just said you practice it on a daily basis. What is your gratitude practice?

Yeah. So when I wake up, I find 5 things that I'm grateful for. And what we do the night before kind of sets us up is with all of our kids, we do what's called rosebud thorn. So the rose was the best thing that happened in the day for them. Their bud is what they hope will happen the next day. And then the thorn was anything that happened, and it can't be a person, just something that happened in that day that caught them off guard or made them feel insecure about something or just didn't go well. But it can't be a sibling, it can't be a person because we don't want to create that. What I love is we actually start them with gratitude and it's getting their mind to think about that. But I also want to think about like, what are you looking forward to tomorrow? And then what is something today that we could learn a lesson from? And that's where the thorn comes in and that creates some conversation. And so, the next morning when I wake up, I find 5 things. I try to stay in those 5 that I talked about with like my faith and family and fitness and finances and just fun. And I'm always thinking about areas in my life that I can thank God, like, thank you that this is there. Lately, I tore my bicep. And I'll tell you, those things that you go through and those experiences that will really force you to be grateful because it's easy to get on the other side of this. And I recognize for the first 2 weeks, I couldn't tie my shoe. So, I remember it was silly. One of the mornings I woke up, I could tie my shoe. Well, what do you think I was most grateful for? Tying my shoe again, getting my socks on by myself. But before that, my middle child, he's 12, he was helping me tie my shoes in the morning because he knew I couldn't do it and all that stuff. And he's like, Dad, I really want to be able to help you do that. And I take the dog for a walk in the morning and all that. But I was grateful for my son that he would want to do that and step up. So, there's things all around us to be grateful for. So, I do speak those and say those out because I think there's some power in how we do that. I have journaled in the past. I don't journal currently. And I'm journaling some other things that are going on, but I don't write those down. But it just comes natural to me now. Like I will tell you that routine after a couple of weeks, it becomes to where I'm grateful and I can find it through the day. What's really cool, Nick, is in the middle of the day, I will just find things that I'm grateful for. So, I have found, and David and I kind of resonated on this, was it's not just a practice in the morning for me anymore. It has really bled over my life.

Yeah.

where when something happens in the middle of the day, I try to find out why am I grateful for this? When someone calls me and they resign, someone calls me and they have a huge problem, what can I be grateful for? Well, they called me to talk to me about this. They didn't call someone else. They called me to help them. I think just how our perspective going into a situation, you can find gratitude for that. And so I would just encourage you, it becomes a way of life. And look, it's not all sunshine and roses, but I do think that choice, I have found my decision-making is better and my connection with people is better when I come from that place.

Yeah, I feel the same way. I used to journal 3 things that I was grateful for every day, and then I ended up stopping, but I ended up getting a tattoo of the numbers 1, 2, and 3 because from sort of a neurolinguistic programming standpoint, I'm seeing this so many times every day subconsciously in my peripheral vision. It's always there, and it's a good excuse to talk to people when they ask me about my tattoos. I always ask people what they're grateful for. So, Brian, what's one thing that you're grateful for today?

I'm with my family. Uh, the past— it is 6 weeks next week post-op for my surgery, and I will tell you, the way that my wife is just absolutely incredible. Um, been married almost 19 years, and they say for better or for worse, but you know, with a guy that works out all the time, and like, that's how I kind of had my outlet and got my mind right, to be set back and not be able to tie your shoes, not be able to take a shower by yourself, like things that we just take for granted I couldn't do, the way my family just came around and how grateful I was that it kind of reminded me like if everything kind of hit the fan, which it did in my life, as you read this book, you'll read in my chapter in 2007, 2008 with the market crash, I realized that I'm really blessed. So my family is what I'll say that they're a foundational piece to everything I do and why I work so hard is to be able to make sure that they have opportunities and and live their best life.

Yeah, amazing. Well, we talked a little bit about the faith before and about how I have faith tattooed over here. I have family first tattooed on this side. So I think we're sort of cut from the same cloth and we vibe about a lot of the same things. So before we wrap up, I wanted just to ask some questions about what you have going on in the future. So what sort of plans do you have for your show, um, your podcast? Are there any big plans, anything that you're rolling out that's new and special?

Yes. So, we are overhauling our website. So, www.bryancovey.com, and we are going to now put everything there from the book to the podcast to other resources that I'm going to be providing and building out our community even more just to be more of a resource and give you tools to help you win at the game of life. And so, we'll be taking some of the guests. Obviously, we'll be coming back and sharing some things that are there. So, that's a big project for me because I'm not a good website design person. I had to hire someone out and help me build all that together. And so, I'm excited to launch that because I think it'll build the community even more. We're also starting on the second book, which I'm kind of going back and forth on some of the things. But what I learned is there was a lot of correlation between my sports days and kind of an on-the-field to off-the-field, that whether you're an athlete at a high school, college, professional level, There are things that we learned in that athlete's mindset that can apply today. And it's all back around how do you win where you are? And so, there'll be some things that I'm going to pull out of that that I've been just kind of journaling and writing. And one of the things I joke is nice guys don't always finish last. It's something we've been told and I've kind of broken that paradigm quite a bit. And so, I'm excited about that piece. And the last one I would share is now that I've kind of put myself out there in some vulnerable situations, done a lot of social, doing a lot of podcast stuff, and going on other guests, I've got some speaking opportunities that have come up. And that, for me, wasn't a direct thing that I wanted to do, but when it came up, I thought, if I can impact people, I want to get better at that. I'd love to be able to contribute. And so, you'll see that more on the horizon is just speaking events for myself and as we build out the brand. And look, I'm open to where it goes. I've kind of said this in life. I don't have it all figured out. But I'm willing to engage every day and give it my best, like when you show up to a game, and I'm just going to perform at the best that I can and contribute.

Well, there's a lot to learn from what you just said. I love the idea that nice guys don't have to finish last. I feel really similar about my last couple of years. You just need to put good energy out in the world. Like you're saying, engage with it, have really good intentions, and care about impact. And some magic things can happen. So that's, that's great. Now, last question that I had— normally I ask questions for the young professionals in our audience, but our audience also goes up sort of in the 30s and 40s range. What advice do you have for parents? Because you're very engaged with your children, you're posting a lot on socials, you have this kind of soccer dad thing that you talk about sometimes. So what advice do you have for parents?

Give yourself some grace. Parenting is tough. I think as you look at it, and unfortunately, if you look at divorce rates, they're higher than they ever have been. Last year probably put stresses on marriages. When people said birth rates are going to go up and all that, my first reaction was divorces probably go up because people are together. And what I would say is when you commit to being your best, you're able to give your best to your spouse. and to your kids and those that you care about. And so, I would change the paradigm. And I've had people even tell me this is, man, you're selfish if you go just work on yourself and you go do these courses and you invest in yourself and you do all that. And I would actually flip that and say, you're really selfish if you don't go spend money on yourself and personally develop yourself and become your best because your spouse didn't marry you to be average. Your company didn't hire you to be average. Your kids don't want you to be an average dad or an average mom. And so, I think it's time for all of us to level up. And wherever you are in your life, there is a level that you know you need to step into. And my encouragement would be find people around you that can support you in your journey. And I reflect on this a lot is I would not be anywhere near where I am unless I had reached out and asked for help and asked people to guide me that have been through those seasons and those life experiences that I've yet to go through. And ask for their help. And there are people out there willing to help you. And I've found that more than ever. And you know what I'll add to that, Nick, is there are people you've never met and there are people that are influencing my life in a big way today I've never met in person. Social has broken down all of the barriers and all of the excuses we could make. So, as a parent, resources are there, but unless you take action and actually go implement these ideas and tools that you learn about, It means nothing. And so, people are counting on you. They're counting on you to be your best. And so, we need to show up. And when you do that, watch how the fulfillment and the gratitude and the things we've talked about today, they may not feel natural to you today, but when you start to get in alignment with those and that pursuit of your best version of yourself never ends, but it is a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun. It's got ups and downs and twists and turns, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Boom. If I had one of those sound effect machines, one of those soundboards, I'd drop a bomb or something like that because that was fantastic. So, great way to end the podcast. For people who want to learn a little bit more about you, Brian, and what you're doing, you mentioned the website. Is there anything else, anywhere else people should go ahead to?

Yeah, Nick. So, definitely go over to Instagram, very active, and spend time there. Someone had Brian Covey, so kind of like the show, we just went with The Brian Covey. So that's me. If you see the other Brian Covey, that's not me. Create that on Instagram, also LinkedIn for those of you who are there, and then over on Facebook and you can find me and follow along. We've got a group that we actually just created. We're going to be promoting on Conversations with Covey. It's going to be a closed Facebook group that we'll be promoting once the website goes live here in the next couple weeks. We'll be sharing more of it. But yeah, definitely connect up, drop me a DM, let me know how I can support your journey. And that way I know your story and glad to come along with you.

Thank you for coming on the show, Brian. Awesome conversation today.

It's been a pleasure. Love what you're doing. Thanks for having me on. And I hope this will impact lives, right? And actually make a difference, which is why we started to do this.

That is a wrap. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Book Thinkers, Life-Changing Books. It would mean the world to us if you could write a review and share this episode with a few of your friends. I mean, these books truly have the power to change people's lives, and by reviewing or sharing our podcast, you're helping us make an impact. If you have any recommendations for future guests or any constructive feedback for us on how we can improve our show, please feel free to submit a form on our website, www.bookthinkers.com, or send us a direct message on Instagram @bookthinkers. With that, I am signing off, and I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't forget, go read something.