3 Things to Avoid During a Flare-Up

You're listening to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast, and this is your host Nikita Williams. On this show, we're talking about what it's like to start, grow, and scale a business while living with chronic illness. You will hear from other creatives and CEOs as they share their stories and the lessons that led them to learn to lean more into what works for them. You'll discover that success does not mean perfection, and fear, negative thoughts, and challenges are all a part of the journey, but there's always an abundance of wins. So stay tuned and you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to craft a life and business that thrives. Hey there, beautiful. I've got something for you. If you want to feel more ease and joy in your business without sacrificing your health, energy, and creativity, but you feel like you've got to, you know, pay your dues first, or you're feeling sort of lost in your business, then you want to check out my mini course, 5 Days to Getting Crystal Clear in Your Creative Business. Created this course to help you remove the frustration that's blocking you from receiving exactly what you want and go from stuck to creating the business that you want with ease and joy. So visit ThriveWithNikita.com/minicourse and use the code THRIVE to get it free. Again, that's ThriveWithNikita.com/minicourse and use the code THRIVE to get it free. That's my special gift to my podcast tribe. So go off and thrive. All right, let's hop on into this new episode. Enjoy. Welcome back to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast. So we are on part 6 of the series, How to Grow a Creative Sustainable Business While Living with Chronic Illness. So this creative business could be service-based, it could be art-driven, product-based, it could be that you're a photographer, or maybe you just consider yourself a creative person and maybe you're a coach or consultant and you're living with chronic illness. Now, we all know if you've been listening to this series, we all have our ups and downs. And you know, in life as a chronic illness warrior and thriver, we're going to have flare-ups. And I have found that flare-ups can be always a, like, twofold, I guess I should, I should say. Like, flare-ups could be two things. They could really alert us to, like, hey, we need to slow down, we really need to take better care of ourselves. Or, and, like, really, or, and it could be a sign of, like, things externally, right? Like, how are we stressing, or how are we treating our mind around what we're doing in our business. And sometimes, sometimes it feels like it comes out of the blue. We're like, I don't know why this happened. But regardless of how a flare-up shows up in your life, there are some things that I have found for myself and for my clients that we really probably want to not do when we're running our businesses and having a flare-up. So this is going to be a pretty quick one, but I think we need to have this conversation. Number 1, I know, I know I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone in this when I say that when I'm in a flare-up, I tend to find myself working myself out of a negative downer, negative Nelly downer mindset. And that means for me, I have to focus on what I am accomplishing versus what I'm not. So the number one thing I want you to think about while you're running your business and you're in a flare-up— what does that look like for you? I don't know. But for me, running a business with the flare-up like I currently am means I'm doing a bit less. I'm spending more time on resting and listening to my body and laying in the bed and taking walks. And really being conscious and intentional even more so about what I put in my body and giving myself the space, right? And being okay if things are a bit different or even slow in my so-called opinion. But when I have found myself having a flare-up and I am not paying attention to how I'm thinking, I can start to dwell on what I'm not accomplishing. So this is number 1. If you're in a flare-up, this is regardless if you have a business or not, but honestly, especially if you have a business, do not dwell on what you're not accomplishing. This is so important because when we dwell on what we're not accomplishing, we end up being really discouraged. And when we do finally feel a little bit better, like when we have tapped into feeling a tiny bit better, our emotional state is in discouragement. And as the proverb says, when our attitude or our thoughts is negative, our strength will be meager. We will have a harder time getting back into the flow and the minutia and the momentum even if we have been dwelling in this whole period of time in this flare-up of what we're not accomplishing. One of the things that I love to encourage my clients, and they always joke with me, no matter where they are, whether they're in a great time where, you know, they may be in remission or they have found ways to really manage their pain emotionally, mentally, physically, we don't focus on the doing. We focus on the quality, and we focus on the mindset behind if we are doing something. So I always like to tell my clients to focus on what you can do and do it when you can. When we find ourselves in you know, a flare-up, it's super easy for our mind to go down that Negative Nelly path of comparing our own selves to what we may have been last week, last month, last 6 months, last 3 months, or last year, or even 3 years ago. And we go down the self-loathing path. Let me tell you from personal experience, it is so much harder to get out of that mindset trap than recovering just from a flare-up, where I now look at things when I'm going through a flare-up and I look at it and think, man, I did some really good work, some quality work. It may have been one email. It may have been I outsourced this thing to one person and articulated what I need, and they took care of it while I was down. Versus, man, I could have done so much if I didn't have this flare-up. I could have done all of these things, and I hate that this always happens to me. Let me tell you from personal experience, it is so much harder to come out of that place than it is to come from a place of feeling like even in a flare-up you did accomplish quality work, even if it was the tiniest amount. When I talk to my clients when they're going through really challenging times, and right now while I'm recording this season or this series, Some of my clients are going through some really big life hurdles on top of living with chronic illness. And so flare-ups are happening here and there. And what I love to hear them say is how they have focused on the quality of what they can do when they can do it. So even if it's 5 minutes, 3 minutes, and they do it when they can. They aren't focused on when they can't. So definitely number 1, when you're in a flare-up, do not dwell on what you're not accomplishing. Okay? So number 2, don't make any decisions that will affect your effort and outcome in your business in the next 6 to 3 months. So this is very specific because of my own personal experience with this. I have found that if things are slow in my business or it's in what my coach calls the client gathering and attracting period of time, and I am going through a flare-up, I start going again ham. I need to change this, I need to change that. And it starts affecting how I actually will energetically be able to do what it is that I need to do. 3 or 6 months from now. So what I do during this time, instead of making decisions that will affect how much effort and energy it's going to take me to accomplish something in my business, instead of adding to it, because what happens during this process when you're in a flare-up, just like step number 1, is why it's the catalyst. Like, it's like the domino, a little effect number 1. If I am doing number 1, which is dwelling on what I'm not accomplishing, when I go to make decisions in my business that will affect my effort and my outcome, I overcompensate. I start adding even more things to my plate, more things to my program. And when I do finally get back into the groove of how I'm used to doing things, I look at it and I feel like a mountain of life and business is like collapsing in on me. So what I like to do during this time is look at the decisions I have already made that allows me to be okay in the season of a flare-up and how grateful I am. So I shift into gratitude because then I'm not anxious or worried or trying to change something that will ultimately affect the effort and time I will need to be putting in my business, or even the outcome. And this is so important because if we are doing number 1, which is dwelling on what we're not accomplishing, number 2 will happen. You will start changing things and everything, and you don't really realize how it's going to affect your outcome and your energy until you're out of this flare-up and you're like, man, why is this so hard? It's because while you were planning and making these plans, you were feeling as if you weren't doing enough. And trust me, you are already doing enough. You already more than enough. So this is the period of time, instead of focusing or making decisions on things that will affect your effort and your outcome, I want you to focus on gratitude. What are you thankful for in your business right now, right, that allows you the flexibility and freedom to do business how you have to do it right now in this season. Now, this is— there's a caveat to this. I have some clients that come to me who are in a flare-up, and they have a third party, right? Me, the coach, or they've worked with a sales coach, or they've working with someone, and they're trying to help them streamline or simplify their business so that they can truly replenish themselves during this period of flare-up. And the slower time in their business, that's okay, because it's not just coming from you. The problem happens when it's just you and your mind and your brain sitting there looking at how you not doing this and how all this keeps happening and how to make up for this time. That's what I mean. Don't make any decisions that will affect your effort and your outcome if it's just you and you having this conversation with yourself. Okay, the conversation you need to be having during this time is gratitude and looking and leaning into why you are so thankful you have the freedom and flexibility to even run your business from bed with a heating pad, or to reschedule a call with a client because you just have to, or to change the way you want to do that. Now, if this part of the conversation is like, Nikita, I don't— my business is not set up like that, well then book a free coaching for clarity call with me, because that is something that I believe is at the core of creating a foundation where you can run a sustainable creative business. This is something that I talk to my clients about around my framework, about learning how to leverage even the bad times, even the flare-ups, so that they serve you in this season versus making you feel like you're depleted and starting from zero. So definitely keep an eye out for some tips and tools about that if you are on my email list. If you're not, definitely go to thrivewithnikitawilliams.com and I'm sure there's a pop-up there for you to join my email list. So number 3, number 3 is a big one. Okay, number 3 of things you don't want to do when you're in a flare-up is don't give up. How many of us have been on the verge, or if not have, and there's no shame, given up on what it is that we want to accomplish? Maybe it's a goal or a project or a product launch, and you're like, I'm just, I just can't do it. This is just never going to happen. This FOIA is taking over my life. It's never going to happen, so I'm just never going to do it. Notice all three of these dwell or lean into the mindset of what we might be beating ourselves up around or about while we're living with this flare-up during this chronic illness, really hard time right now. Do not give up. Press pause. Take some time to reset. Stop, but get back up. Press start. Reset and go. Do not give up. This will pass. Time will pass. And even when you're in one of those long-term flare-ups, like for me, um, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know, I started off like, oh yes, I'm so excited I'm gonna be having all these new things happening on the podcast, and I've got all those things ready. And I've been diagnosed with a new chronic illness called Hashimoto's, and I don't know if I talked to you guys about that. It could be really easy to look at that, and as well as looking at me still trying to find my, you know, my flow with living with chronic bladder pain, and feel like all the plans that I had already planned for my business, I just need to give up and start over or just stop. And never start back up again. Don't give up. If you feel like you're about to give up, reach out for someone. Have that list of people you know that will encourage you, that will lift you up, that will remind you that this is just a moment in time and it's not for the rest of time. Like, really remember that you have done so much to get to where you are right now. That it's not about that you can't do it. It just means it might need to pause for right now. You might need to set a goal where you're doing this maybe 6 months from now versus right now, but it doesn't mean that it can't happen. I am in awe of the women that I meet, that I talk to, that are in the air, um, that are in the chronic illness community who have done that, who are running businesses that are massive. Or just starting out and have been trekking towards their goal day by day, minute by minute, flare-up through flare-up, new diagnose through new diagnosis, to finally getting to where they are, and they're so thankful that they didn't give up. And that's what I want you to have. There's nothing wrong with changing your mind. Maybe it changes or pivots or some kind of way after you've been maybe in a flare-up for a while and you're like, you know what, I might need to shift the way this looks like. But don't give up and don't give up on yourself. Don't give in to the thought that the flare-up means— and this flare-up is going to last forever and there's never ever going to be a light in the day or in your hour or 5 minutes. There have been times I've been in some really dark flare-up kind of times. But there usually is a break in the day or the week or the months where there might be a couple hours or a few minutes or a few months and sometimes a few years that it's not as bad as being in the flare-up. And I'm so thankful in those moments that I, one, focus on gratitude, two, focus on what I can do And 3, keep going. So in this episode, I hope you hear me, right? When you have a business, it is not a marathon. It is, it is not, you know, a quick sprint. It's a journey. You know, anybody who has a business realizes that this is not something that everybody can do. I know a lot of people feel like anybody can start a business, but That's not true. Not everybody can start a business. Some people are just not— that is just not their thing, and that's okay. But if you started a business because you wanted more flexibility and freedom to sit down like I am right now, record a podcast episode in your comfy pants and a heating pad and pillow surrounding you like Squishy Man so that you can feel comfortable and still make an income and provide some help to your family, or be the income producer for your family, then don't give up. Don't give in to the negative thoughts and the negative paths into beating yourself up. Find the light. Find the light, you guys. All right, that's it for this episode. The next episode we're going to be talking about How to use other self-care methods to help you embrace and thrive through living with chronic illness. So in that episode or that part of the series, I'm going to be talking about some of the tools that I use that have really helped me not only in my business, like open me up for like being able to be more creative and more focused and, um, more in alignment, but also how these tools have helped me in my, in my, like, personal journey with chronic illness. Everyone's different. No, it's not a miracle pill or thing, but these are things that I'm incorporating into my coaching as well as helping me just live with chronic illness so that I can have a much more easy way to build a growing and sustainable profitable business with ease. And this is to help you find some tools maybe you've never thought of. Um, all right, so stay tuned and remember, yes, yes, my loves, you are crafted to thrive.