How Can Embracing Your Chronic Illness Story Strengthen Your Business? | Lauren Perna

A quick note before we begin. Some of the topics in this episode may be sensitive or triggering. Please listen with care and remember it's okay to pause, skip, or seek support if anything feels overwhelming. Also, the information shared here is for educational and informational purposes only. Coaching, like the guidance shared here in this episode, focuses on self-reflection and actionable steps., and it's meant to be therapeutic but not medical or therapy support. Your well-being is the priority as you listen, so take care.

Welcome to Business with Chronic Illness, the globally ranked podcast for women living with chronic illness who want to start and grow a business online. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, and I went from living a normal life to all of a sudden being in constant pain with no answers to being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses and trying to make a livable income. I faced the challenge of adapting traditional business advice to fit my unique circumstances with chronic illness, feeling frustrated and more burned out than I already was while managing my chronic illness, to becoming an award-winning coach with a flexible, sustainable online coaching business. I found the surprisingly simple steps to starting and growing a profitable business without compromising my health or my peace. Since then, I've helped dozens of women just like you learn how to do the same. If you're ready to create a thriving business that aligns with your lifestyle and wellbeing, you're in the right place. Together, we're shifting the narrative of what's possible for women with chronic illness and how we make a living. This is Business with Chronic Illness. Hello everybody.

I'm so excited for this episode, Business with Chronic Illness with Lauren Perna. We are going to be talking about how do you discover what your, your strengths are when you're running a business when you live with chronic illness and just everything in between of what that might look like. But before we like hop into that discussion, welcome Lauren!

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited to have you here. We connected in Chronic Boss, which is in another amazing chronic illness community for those who are living with chronic illness who are in career fields, or if you have a business and you want like a networking vibe, it's a great space in That's where me and Lauren connected. So this has been fun.

I love it.

Can you tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, where you're from, so we can get to know you a little bit?

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm Lauren. I am the owner of Lauren Perna Communications. I am based in New England. Sometimes you'll find me right outside of Boston. Sometimes you'll find me right in the Lakes region of New Hampshire. We kind of split our time. And, um, my business is content and copywriting for the life science industry. That's where I spent most of my career. So then, you know, a whole lot of things happened that led me to starting my own business, which I'm sure we'll chat about. But I decided to focus on content like blogs and LinkedIn and case studies, white papers, web copy for mainly life science, biotech, pharma, and also healthcare. And then I always say that I save a little space in my brain and my heart and my schedule for entrepreneurs, just because it, you know, kind of, it's my way of filling my soul. So I do that. That's my business. I have a team of contractors that helps me. We have a beautiful collective. And then the other piece that I do and how we met is I'm a mental health advocate. It's something that I've been doing for the last few years and a huge part of my story, but I decided to join the Chronic Boss Collective because the mental health piece was such an important part of my journey and I really needed somewhere to kind of have that community and Chronic Boss Build that. I love that.

I love that. And I was so drawn— so it's so funny, Lauren, I'm drawn often to people who are literally opposites of me in the context of business. Like, I find it very funny sometimes. I'm not a writer. I have no desire to be a writer. Most people are always telling me I should write a book, and I'm always looking at them. We have this conversation in our, in our little chat that we had before, and I was like, yeah, that somebody's got to ghostwrite that for me because that's not going to be me.

Oh yeah, that'll be me.

I'm like, it's not going to be me. But I love that your business is literally— it's like the majority of what you do is like getting information and then translating into writing.

Yep, exactly.

And you love it.

Yeah, I really do. What do I say? Like, transforming complex concepts into compelling content. It's a tongue twister, so I, you know, try and say it a couple different ways. But yeah, really the goal is to take complicated concepts that are from the life science, pharma, biotech, med device industry and turn them into something that you could read easily on LinkedIn or a blog.

Yeah, that's so important. I used to work for Daiichi Sankyo, which is a pharmaceutical company.

Yeah.

And I remember back in the day when I would sit there and I'd be looking at some of like the information about the medicines and I'd be like, y'all need to say this for people who understand what this means. Kind of like how we have in contract law where it's like, here's Here's an illustration. Like, here's what this section is basically saying. Like, and I think it's so important, the work you're doing, because I do think in general, from a patient advocacy standpoint, there is so much information we receive that we're reading. We're like, you need to explain like every other word you just put there.

Yeah. So in terms—

yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that's what you're like, what you're helping the masses to kind of like get more in the know. That feels easy to do.

Exactly. Yeah. And a lot of the work that I do ends up being very general publications. So it could be on like a LinkedIn or even I have some paid clients that are on Facebook and we do some very patient-forward material. So it, it's a huge part of what we do and it is very meaningful.

I love that.

I love that.

So tell us a little bit about your journey when it comes to chronic illness. What does that look like or mean to you in your life?

Yeah, so I always say that I came out of the womb anxious. It was, it's been in my, in my blood, in my DNA. And I, my anxiety really started to manifest as a child in kind of the most poignant moments in school. And I always say that my like anxiety mental health journey began at age 6 in school and it really just kind of progressed from there. And I would say as a young lady is when my major depressive disorder started to manifest. And I hadn't really talked about the kind of symptoms that happen because of my anxiety and depression, just because in Chronic Boss, I really try to focus on, you know, the main kind of signifiers of my life. But the other day we were talking and I started to realize like all these other chronic illnesses have happened because of the anxiety and depression. I have like chronic headaches, And I have chronic circulation issues, and it's all related back to being the anxious little lady that I am. And it's just been a huge part of me throughout my whole life. I've just always— I feel like I, I almost wouldn't even realize that I have a chronic illness because it is just so embedded in who I am. So I kind of lived with all the things for About, I would say 38 years. And then 3 years ago, 41 today, I started to kind of lean into the chronic illnesses, the mental health, the anxiety, the depression, the journey that I have been on. And I really started to own it and talk about it. And that was really kind of the beginning of how I ended up becoming part of the Chronic Boss Collective and meeting you and all the other wonderful women. Is that I just realized that there was such power in owning the story and talking about it. And the thing is, when you have an invisible illness, it doesn't mean the illness goes away. It just means that people don't know about it. And for a very long time, I wore the mask and I kept on my journey of pretending like everything was great. And I didn't really talk about it to anybody, like not even my best friends, barely even my therapist. We just knew I was there for a reason, but we didn't really talk about the kind of diagnoses or things. And then when I started to lean into it is when I really became the best version of myself and seeing how people react to hearing my honesty and my authenticity makes me wanna talk about it even more. And has, and I've really found even bigger cues and markers in my life of when the depression and the anxiety is gonna set in and when I have overscheduled and I need to take that reprieve. Like we were just talking about before we jumped on here, we were talking about how Nikita had overscheduled herself and was not— was in a little bit of a flare-up. And that really resonates because as a small business owner, you're like, oh, I just gotta do all the things. But being more in touch with my diagnoses has helped me realize like, what are the things that I have to be super cautious of? So yeah, so that's a little bit of my chronic journey. I, you know, since I turned 40, I feel like the things keep coming. So check back in a few years, I'll probably have a few other things to add in. But yeah, so now, but everything for me is very much related back to my brain and how it reacts to everything.

You know, I have, I've got a couple episodes where I talk about this, like how the, just how the mind and the body are so connected. You guys know, I like go all into that and so many different topics. And part of my, I call like my when I refer to healing journey, just for you and everyone who else is listening new, I think of it more of being like whole as a person. Obviously I do not believe that, you know, me thinking all, like thinking away my pain and all that stuff is going to like cure my chronic illnesses. But I do think that there's something that happens within that acceptance piece of accepting what you are experiencing is basically what I'm hearing from you as well is like once I stop like running away from the fact that I have to deal with this thing and started to accept, like, this is part of my reality. I would add to— for me, it was like, it's part of my reality, and I still have hope that maybe there's an option that it could be cured in the future. However, reality today is like, okay, this is what we've got going on. It allowed you to feel less limited, it sounds like.

Exactly. Once you kind of own it, you can take off the mask. Asked. And, you know, I would always like kind of compare it to like wearing a coat in summer. Like, once you take off the parka in summer, you can feel a little less sweaty. You can feel a little easier to breathe. And it doesn't mean that it's going to, you know, make you a whole new person or a different person. It just means that you are embracing the world as it is instead of under this cover.

Yeah, so such a powerful illustration.

I love that.

Yeah, I mean, if I'm not wearing a parka during the summer, I can— I probably can run briskly. I could like, you know, I could breathe, you know, I might be able to not be so sweaty. Like, there's so many things that I think I might be able to do now that I'm not wearing a parka, especially if you live in Atlanta where it's like 90 degrees and it feels like it's 110 because of humidity. Like, that would feel limited and difficult. But once you take that off, you kind of can— you're still in the same body, but you have a different perspective. Yeah, I love that. Exactly.

Exactly. I mean, if you came up here to Boston, you might be wearing a parka in the summer. You know, our summers are a little cooler than yours, but yeah, the point is still there.

Yeah, totally. No, yeah, yeah. Just come on to Hatlanta, experience that.

Oh my gosh.

But so in your journey to like acceptance and like just fully embracing like, this is a part of my life, how this is showing up. It's so interesting that you say like in therapy, it's like, I like, I'm going to therapy, but I'm not talking about the thing that I'm— that's literally running my life right now. How did you shift from that like mindset of life to like being more in the this is what it is, this is where I'm moving. Like, what helped you during that time?

So there's a couple of key things, and I actually just wrote an article about this, so, and I'm hoping to publish it somewhere. But the first key thing is that I stopped drinking. And I, I know that's controversial. There's probably some people listening like, dang, darn, like, no, I don't want to do that. But, you know, honestly, to anyone listening, that stopping drinking really did shift changed a whole perspective for me. I just realized how much it was impacting my life, even though I didn't really drink that much. You know, I was kind of like your social drinker, and by the time I stopped, I really didn't drink that much. The problem was that, you know, when you're on any kind of meds, drinking is a no-no. And, you know, if you're already an anxious, depressed person, drinking really aggravates all of those things. So first of all, you know, stopping the drinking really just shifted my perspective. I felt so much more confident in myself. All the kind of insecurities that I had that I was masking with drinking, I realized drinking was just making worse. So, so that was the first step. The other step, you wouldn't really be able to take this like tip on your own, but it is just I do tell the story as part to kind of enlighten people of how I came to this journey. So I had had a diagnosis. One of my diagnoses in my early 20s was bipolar 2, and I talked about that even less than my anxiety and my depression. It just really— I, I was so ashamed. I let it rule my life. I lived sad, but I lived for about 20 years with that diagnosis, just the winter coat was, yeah, it was heavy. And I really hated who I was, just being honest. And that all changed when I had my psychiatrist at the time was leaving the field and I need to get a new person. So I found a new nurse practitioner and she really questioned the diagnosis. She was like, this is really weird. Like, I'm just like, I'm getting to know you and I'm seeing that. And it led down this whole kind of Alice in Wonderland style of journey where we learned that it was kind of like a misdiagnosis. And honestly, that's like, you know, I'm always hesitant to tell the story 'cause I don't want to add any more stigma to bipolar or anything like that. But the point is, is that I let that diagnosis rule who I thought I was. For 20 years. And it didn't really matter like what diagnosis I did or didn't have, like I was still me, but the fact that I had let it impact myself, how my view of myself was just so eye-opening. And having that kind of revelation was kind of what set me on a new path where I was like, really mad at myself for letting me feel, letting myself be so upset and devastated around this diagnosis and I didn't even have it. So why was I letting any diagnosis define me? And that's when kind of realizing it, I was like, all right, well, if no, if I don't even have a diagnosis of bipolar, why should I even let anxiety and depression hold me back? Why not talk about it? Why not own it? And be my most authentic version of myself. So those two things kind of happened around the same time. And then the other thing that happened was I, my business started really thriving. So that trifecta of finding myself, putting the parameters in place of living a healthy life and being authentic really set me on that journey. So, oh wow.

Like there's so much in there, Lauren.

Like I also have goosebumps.

Like I have goosebumps. I'm like, I wanna cry, I wanna laugh, I wanna I do all of the things like, oh my gosh, like, oh wow.

And full disclosure, this is the first time I'm actually, actually talking out loud about the bipolar drama because I only just put it, like I said, I only had just put it on paper a while ago. And you know, with everything, it's an evolution, you know, like I knew I would be okay, like talking about the diagnosis and then, you know, got to the point where I, got on a podcast and talked about it. You know, it's not— I didn't just wake up one day and I'm like, let me just share this whole entire life story, right?

Right.

Nikita's podcast, you know, it's an evolution.

So yeah, I love that you said that too, because I do think a lot of people— I get— I, I'm sure you probably get feedback from people like, you're so— you just share everything. You're like, I have shared things like in the babiest amount of steps of things. Like, I just read— yeah, I just wrote an email about like even the change of this podcast, like the name of it, like I have been knowing the need to do this thing, but I didn't take that huge leap until like a whole year and a half later. Like, so like, give yourself like the amount of runway you need for whatever part of your healing journey that you're in. And don't compare yourself to thinking. And I also like to say, don't presume on what other people's processes is because you have no idea.

Exactly. Yeah. My step 10 is not your step one, you know.

That's right.

You know, that's what I always tell people too, is like, you know, I've been— this has been building up for several years. So where I'm at now is definitely not where when I first like hit the play— the post button on my very first article.

Yeah, yeah. So those three things— what was for it really? Like, you know, the quitting the drinking, which is interesting because I've, I've found— I have found a lot of people that I've talked to about that who are like they are like, it's not that it's a problem, but it's a problem in a different way than we usually hear about drinking, right? We hear drinking usually as a— it can be a coping mechanism. It can be all those things. It might be a little bit of all those things as well. But around the clarity piece of just being like more in touch with your body, which leads me to a question of like, when you're living with any kind of chronic illness, mental, physical, all of the above, I feel like there's a fear of being that clear in your body around what you feel, what you're thinking, and that can scare people away from that, like a decision like that, or even from like investing in therapy or going to a coach or anything like that. So they kind of like think something's wrong with those process, like doing those things.

Yeah. Yeah.

But how was it for you? Was there fear behind doing that decision?

Oh my God, so much fear. And that's— I'm so glad you asked that because I don't want people listening to hear that advice and feel like, well, she's, you know, way stronger than I am. Like, no, no, no, you guys, it was probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make because honestly, our hobbies were drinking. You know, we live in New England where there's a brewery every block.

Yeah.

And you know, we're Bostonians, we like to drink. And it was just, it was our hobbies. It was how my husband and I met. We met at a bar. You know, it's really, it was in my core. I knew I had to do it. And I, like you said, I had honestly been feeling it for probably about a year prior to actually doing the thing. And you know, I spoke with people that were, non-drinkers and they were giving me their advice and, and just all these like weird signs kept happening. And then finally everything came to a head and I May 1st, 2022 decided that was the last day, or that was the first day of my, my new life. And it was in the beginning, a lot of people, like people really close to me did not understand. They gave me a really hard time, probably the people closest to me gave me the hardest time because they, you know, think you're making like this rash decision and, and you are gonna have really hard days where you just sit in the corner and you're drinking your like seltzer and you're feeling sorry for yourself. But now I, it doesn't even faze me. I just show up as me. And the cool thing is that I have brought a few people along with me for the alcohol-free ride. My husband, one of my best friends, and people reach out on social media all the time asking for advice. So I do think that we are living in an age where people are realizing the benefit of going alcohol-free, which is definitely, you know, helped me in my journey. In Boston, we just got an alcohol-free liquor store.

Nice.

Yeah, yeah. My friend and I checked it out and it was awesome. So So we are definitely living in a time where it's like to our benefit. But to anyone thinking of quitting, if you're thinking of it, it's fine. That's the advice I have for people is—

I'm so glad that you answered that so authentically there because I do think it's hard. I think all of us have those things that we know we need to do and we're just like, it's scary. It's scary.

It literally changes.

It feels like it changes so much of what your day-to-day is. It feels impossible. Daunting and it feels all of those things. When you did kind of like make the commitment to do it, did those things feel less hard?

No, it was— I will say the first few months were so, so hard. I was just a wreck all the time, especially when I was seeing my friends. And I think that's because, you know, with, you know, in our culture, drinking culture so embedded in our lives here in America, especially. People just feel like you gotta bring the beer to the barbecue, you gotta tailgate, you gotta do this and that and the other thing. And it just felt— I felt so alone and isolated just being the only person not drinking. And it really— it took, I would say, like a solid 6 months before it felt like even slightly easier, but you just have to ride it out. And the other thing, too, is that I've been talking and I've been thinking, too, like, you don't necessarily have to totally quit. I just knew for me that was the direction I wanted to go in. But I think even just cutting back is a good step. But still, even cutting back for some people who grew up in a family of drinkers or had drinking hobbies like me, I think even that feels very daunting. So no matter where you are in it, like, it's scary and it's daunting and you're not wrong for thinking that.

Okay. So y'all hear— y'all heard it here. Maybe not the first time, but you're not crazy if you feel like this is crazy hard, if you might be in this transition. And it's not crazy if you're wanting to do this and you're like, why can't I just make this decision and do it? It's not something that is may be as easy for some or as for others. So thank you for sharing that. With that, like, huge change, do you feel like that change helped you to kind of start identifying where you were wearing masks, where you are finding ways you were kind of hiding yourself or not even identifying, like, as we were talking about at the beginning, like, some of the strengths you had? Because you said once you stopped drinking, you started feeling more confident and—

Oh my God.

All of that stuff. Like, so how did that happen?

Yeah, I know. It's funny. It was like, it happened like Slowly and then all at once. Like, I feel like I know people say that and I'm like, oh, I get it. Yeah. After like I got over the hump of the really tough summer. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I stopped in like summer. So like, yeah. So after I got over that really hard summer and started to feel like a little bit more confident in myself, it started to boost my confidence innately because I was like, wow, I got through a whole summer without drinking. We went to Paris for our 10th anniversary and my 40th, and I got through all of that without drinking. So I just— it started to like slowly boost my confidence where I realized like, wow, I'm a lot more powerful than I realized. And it just kind of kept slowly like itching up in those little ways where, you know, I would do something in my business and start to feel like, oh wow, That wasn't like— I didn't overthink it. I didn't feel anxious about it. And that was the effects of not drinking because I was just so much clearer in my head about who I was, what I wanted, and what I had to offer. So I feel like for me, having that clarity really led to the confidence, and then the confidence really led to me kind of identifying what I really like doing, what I'm best at, and, you know, really what I want to pursue. And that's where kind of I realized, all right, I like talking about the mental health piece, but I don't want that to be my business. I want that to be my advocacy work, the, you know, the thing that fills my soul. It's where— it's how I kind of realized, all right, I have this real knack for storytelling, and, you know, my favorite platform is LinkedIn, so I'm going to lean into that. I'm gonna, you know, really focus on that platform. And it all kind of naturally fell from there, where you're kind of honing in on things that are your strengths and your preferences, and then all the other kind of things fall by the wayside. We realize like, oh, I'm not taking as many, you know, for me, let's just say like Instagram is not a platform that I really do too much work on. So, you know, all those kind of client asks started falling by the wayside, or, you know, leads, all the kind of things that I didn't like doing as much. Started disappearing and I really started like owning all the things that I love doing. I love working on LinkedIn, I love copywriting for websites, I love helping people figure out their brand. All those kind of started naturally gravitating towards me. And maybe the other thing too is like that my message was stronger, you know, what I offer people.

There's so much, there's so much nuance in this right now. Like I want to break one big nuance I think that happens is that sometimes we think confidence comes from doing stuff we know how to do. And what you just shared with me is like, the confidence came after doing one of the hardest things you did not have a clue how to do. That led into being like, oh, if I can do that, I can do this.

And then the—

all the other stuff that was super clear and easy for you actually became the thing that you started practicing and doing even more of, which led to even more confidence. I just need to like spell that out for people who was like listening to that, like I think that's what confidence truly is, is oftentimes it's not doing the thing that we think is so easy at first. Sometimes it is doing the thing that feels like we have the most resistance to, the most friction with, and getting through it. Yeah, getting through that and being like, oh dang, I did that thing.

I always say that I'm like a process of elimination person. And so that kind of reflects that in that I really had to get rid of all the things that I, was not strongest in. And what I did was outsource those things. And that's one decision that you, you know, could decide to make if, you know, you're listening and you're trying to figure out your career path or your business. You know, when it comes to like, for example, the, the Instagram, like, I, you know, just wasn't my strength. So I outsource all the graphics now. I have a partner that helps me with that. So I didn't necessarily have to blow up my entire business. I just found somebody that better at it than I am and enjoys it much more. So now I can focus on writing the content. And that's really that kind of process, eliminating and either outsourcing as a business owner or just eliminating, you know, if you're coming at this from a career perspective and trying to figure out, you know, where you want to go in your career, think about what you don't like doing. That's really sometimes the better place to start, like you're saying, than— Yeah. What you're actually good at.

Yeah, I think it's so— I think it's—

there's a— there's—

I think there's usually a couple of ways to get to like what your strengths are in your business. But I think sometimes the fastest way is to identify all the things you don't want to do, like, like all the things you really are really bad at, like really bad at, like so bad that you're like, it would take me a lifetime to become good at this.

Yeah, I'm not going to pretend that, you know, I like graphic design. But you know what, I have a great design agency that I partner with now that that's her thing. She is great at it. So, and that makes us both better.

Yeah, I love that. I love that you're, you're sharing that because in business we do feel, especially if you're first starting, we do to a degree have to like kind of juggle some of all of the hats. But one of my, my, my main philosophies for growing business, like you save for the things that you want to do and you outsource the other things. Like you're saving money and time and energy to figure out what is getting off of my plate ASAP.

Exactly. Exactly.

So yeah.

And it's, you know, the other thing that having, you know, I have a couple of different partners in Lauren, at Lauren Print Comms. And the other thing about having partners, it is that kind of baked in accountability. So now I know someone else is relying on me for the text so they can create the images. So I think really, it only strengthens what you are good at when you eliminate what you're not.

So yeah, I love that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Do you feel like being a business owner with dealing with chronic illness, anxiety has empowered you to live your life better?

Oh my God. Like 100 times. Like I, I am smiling ear to ear when you ask that question because becoming an entrepreneur has been the best thing for my life, for my chronic illnesses. I will say this 100 times over, this— I— the second that I became an entrepreneur was the second, like, my life actually started. I started to thrive and become the best version of myself. If I hadn't, all these other things wouldn't have happened, you know, that I wouldn't have stopped the drinking. I probably wouldn't even have, like, pursued or had so much insight into the misdiagnosis. I wouldn't have told my mental health story. I wouldn't have stopped drinking. Like all those pieces happened because I was really able to be the best version of myself as a business owner. And I think that part of that is because when you have a chronic illness, you really need that flexibility. That is just not innate in corporate America.

It's not built for us, not in any way, shape, or form is it built for that.

And I will never forget, like, when I was leaving the corporate world, I was in a really deep, dark depression and had like headaches and vertigo. And I would be in my office and like close the door and turn the lights off, and I would be working, but I just like— sound, noise, people, everything was like really irritating to me. And I remember one girl was like, oh, like, I thought you were just really busy on a lot of calls. And I was like, no, no, like, just the noise was too much for me. The lights are too much for me. But it was just so telling because that just shows that even something as simple as closing your door is not approved or it's kind of frowned upon. But in our world, sometimes, yeah, you just need to work with the lights off. Sometimes you just need to close the door so you can drown out the sounds. So having that ability, and that is kind of always the example I use, like having the ability to close the door whenever I need to, to shut off the lights whenever I need to. That's been a game changer.

I love that. How has your chronic illness been like a superpower for your business?

Yeah, and this is something I have to give Chronic Box founder Lily Sears credit for because we kind of like talked about this. We were working on a project together and I said something like, oh, sorry, like I'm so anxious, like, I'm just gonna ask you a million questions because, like, I just need to make sure I know. And she was like— or I forget what it was, but anyway, she was like, Lauren, that's it. Your anxiety is your superpower. It's what makes you a great business owner. And I'm like, I guess you're right. So, and I always, like, kind of said to people, like, my anxiety makes me, you know, doubly sure of everything. Like, I just— I can't I can't go to sleep until I feel like certain about things. It makes me very perceptive and cautious and conscientious and having depression and kind of all the other chronic illnesses that come with it, like headaches and stuff that makes me just much more empathetic. So if somebody else has to cancel, cuz you know, they say like they don't even give a reason. It's okay. I, you know, in my mind I'm not like, oh, that's so annoying. I'm like, Maybe they have a migraine today or something. And I feel for people struggling and having— the industry we work in is all about improving human health. So I just try and look at it on a macro level when someone's struggling and just try and really think of everybody as like, who knows what they're dealing with?

Yeah, it's so true. I feel like we spend a lot of time as chronic illness warriors And I feel like in the beginning, I have this thing, there's different phases of being in a chronic illness. I don't know if you've listened to that episode, but it's like we have like newbie baby us who's like fighting everything about our chronic illness. We are finding every reason why it means something completely negative and how we did everything wrong. Right? And then we have that phase of like finding awareness and like, okay, real, like this integration process. Phase of like, okay, this isn't really going to go away. My life is going to look different. All of those things. And there's that phase. And then there's the OG. The OG realized like, okay, this is life. This is what it is, right?

No, no going back.

No going back. And also like this aspect of like you learn how to not view yourself limited because you give yourself options. You give yourself a place to go, even though you might feel the crap, you might feel bad, you might cry, you might be mad, you might want to tell the doctor off, you might want to fire the doctor.

Yeah.

All of these different kind of things. But then you also go come back to what it— like your home spot of like, but I'm still— I still can find control. And I think what you're sharing with the idea and the feeling of like your chronic illness being like your superpower is that it's made your being, your ability to live every single day to the fullest possible because you have accepted it and you have found the pros and cons of how you can like leverage those things to live your life.

Exactly, right? Exactly. And that's, and it's in it. I'm like envisioning that, you know, when people say like you're trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, that is is, you know, when you have a chronic illness, that's what it's like working in the corporate world unless, you know, you have an employer that is willing to work with you, which is rare. But I do think for someone like me, figuring out what the, you know, the right hole to fit myself into was really what allowed me to embrace the anxiety and the depression because you can't embrace it if you don't feel empowered by it. If you feel like it's a negative, of course you're gonna be ashamed. But that's what entrepreneurship did for me.

So I think, so my coach says something, you can't fix something you hate. She's talking about this like when people have issues with debt and things like that. And you saying that embrace, embrace is one part of like a framework that I work with my clients, but you can't embrace what you hate. So you can't embrace the fact that you have these labels and these things going on if you're literally hating it every single day, you just can't.

Accepting it. Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's about accepting it. And, you know, I think the part that is sticking to me is like the baby phase that you're talking about, the newborn, when you're just kind of not accepting and stuff. Like, I think it's okay if that is a 20, 25, 30-year journey. Like, it's not easy, especially when it is something like an invisible illness that that it's easy for you to kind of pretend doesn't exist. You know, when you have a physical illness, it is a little bit harder to hide it. But when you can put on that mask every day and everyone thinks everything is fine, yeah, sometimes it can take a lifetime to, to accept it. And that, that is what happened to me. And it's, you know, I'm— I love my life now. I'm happy that I am where I am. I wouldn't change anything. But I definitely Part of why I do all these speaking engagements is so the little Laurens of the world don't have to wait 40 years to feel good about themselves. Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I so appreciate you sharing your story and sharing your, your journey on this path to being awesome at what you do and who you are. It's been my honor to have you on the show. Tell us one fun thing that you like to do as a hobby.

Wow. Oh my goodness. So, well, one fun thing that I've been learning how to do the last few winters is ski. It is possible as an adult. And I feel like— so we— our house in New Hampshire is right near a mountain. So when we bought the house, my husband was like, well, you gotta learn how to ski or something, because he snowboards. And the last few years I've just been giving it my all and learning, and it's been slow. The winters have been a little weird here in New England. So that's just kind of like a fun fact that I'm like teaching myself how to ski at like 40 years old. It's possible, you know? So that's kind of fun.

Well, I don't— so I will say this, I don't think— I think I truly do believe age is a number. I don't think it has any, any context in where we are. I think that's where we get in trouble a lot of times with those numbers, and so much is possible. At 80. I've, I've met a woman at a, at my Pilates studio and I was like, and she just started Pilates last year and you couldn't tell it, you couldn't tell, but she's in there like a beast. And I'm like, wow, my God, I am 37, cannot do what you're doing and you're 80-something.

So exactly that. Yeah, I know it's true. They're the— I'm anytime I take a lesson, I'm usually the youngest one. So that's pretty funny. But in the adults, there's always a lot of older people. But yeah, so we just, we love being up there. That's kind of our fun thing, you know, being—

I think that's cool.

Fun.

I have always wanted to do snowboarding. I don't know if I'm coordinated enough. I think I'm a little bit— I'm accident-prone. Let's just say that in the nicest way. I'm accident-prone. So I'm always like, that seems like a very accident-prone type of activity.

It is. Yeah. There's a lot of falling in that. That's why I stuck with skis. I mean, there's definitely falling in skiing, but yeah, snowboarding is definitely Always going backwards.

So cool. Well, how can people connect with you? What is, what are some ways that you would like to work with folks and how can they find you?

Yeah. So anybody that is interested in amping up their LinkedIn presence or profile and from either a company or a personal perspective, find me on LinkedIn. I'm just Lauren Elizabeth Perna. And my company is LaurenPerna.com. And if you're interested in us writing blogs or white papers or case studies or your web copy, just go to laurenperna.com and you can learn a little bit more about all the things we do. And you can also learn a little bit more about me and the mental health work I do on that page. So if anyone wants to continue the conversation, I would love to join you.

Well, thank you again so much for being on the show, and we'll have everything of how to connect with you in our show notes.

All right. Well, thank you so much. Have a great day.

You too.

That's a wrap for this episode of Business with Chronic Illness. If you would like to start and grow an online coaching business with me, head to the show notes to click a link to book a sales call and learn how to make money with chronic illness. You can also check out our website at www.craftedtothrive.com for this episode's show notes. And join our email list to get exclusive content where I coach you on how to chronically grow a profitable business while living with chronic illness. Until next time, remember, yes, you are crafted to thrive.