How Chronic Illness Effects Booking Your First Client: Unveiling the Real Barriers

Welcome to Crafted to Thrive, the globally ranked podcast for entrepreneurs living with chronic illness. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, and after being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses myself, I figured out the surprisingly simple missing links to growing a profitable business without compromising my health. Since then, I've helped dozens of women just like you learn how to do the same. If you're ready to own your story and create a thriving business that with your health and wellbeing, you're in the right place. Together, we're shifting the narrative of what's possible for entrepreneurs with chronic illness. This is Crafted to Thrive.

What to do when you're not getting the results you want. We've all been there. We've been doing all of the work. We've been showing up, we've been doing all the backend things in our business on top of just trying to function and live with our individual circumstances. And you are like, where's the first client? Where is the first client? And you're feeling like I must be missing, something's not working. And so you abandon ship in a way, or you start sabotaging yourself into thinking, this isn't for me, this is taking too long. What's getting in the way of you getting your first client as a chronic illness warrior? I think one of the things that many of us are struggling with is the feeling of we are spending, and we actually are spending, a lot of effort and spending a lot of time trying to get our first yes, like our first client, our first person coming in the door. And in this episode, we're going to talk about that in the context of expectation. And also, what are some things that you may not actually be doing, or the things that you think you have been doing, you have been doing, but it's not the thing that will get you to where you're going, and how you don't actually have to do more. It's more about just figuring out what is going to work for you and what phase of this journey are you in. Now, in episode 163, I share with you the 3 phases that you might find yourself in if you're a chronic illness warrior or someone who's newly discovering that they have some health-related issues going on with their body. Now, that's an episode I definitely recommend you go back and listen to because it really does create the foundation for What I'm about to share with you as far as expectations when it comes to booking or signing your first client. So the epitome of the problem that I hear often, or the main problem that I hear, is this thought and conversation about the expectation to have already gotten to where they're going. So for example, I might have a client say to me like, I've been doing this forever and I haven't signed the— haven't signed a client. You might also have thoughts of like, I've been doing all the backend work and I still haven't gotten the client. Or you might also feel like you've been doing this forever and ever, and you see all of these people on social media succeeding and like making $2K and $3K and $5K and signing on 10 and 15 different new clients. And you're starting to believe that your expectation of being able to start a successful business is really not in line for you. It's not something that you're ever gonna experience because at this point you're exhausted from just trying to be present and show up in your business and in your life. And so you're seeing all of these things and you are making them mean, or they mean to you that you're never going to sign your first client. Now, let me ground this in the fact that Signing your first client when you're first starting your business. Oh my goodness. It takes time. It takes time. It's the hardest thing. And the reason why is often when you're doing this by yourself, especially when you're doing this by yourself and you're trying to piecemeal every piece of strategy, every piece of new tool, and you're getting so much information. It's not grounded in what I like to call prerequisites. Like it's a word. I know I don't say it all fancy. But it's like the things that needed to be there in order to get the results that these people or gurus are talking about when it comes to creating the strategy for implementing what they're saying that you'll get when you start working with them. Now, how do I know this? Well, I wanna share with you real quick my own personal experience. When I first started my business as a coach, granted, I already had a service-based business, so I actually had quite a few things already in the works for myself. I already kind of had an email system. I already kind of had some type of automations and systems and things like that. And so when I transitioned into coaching, it really wasn't that difficult. I wasn't really having too much of a problem signing my first few clients because I already had like the foundation for it. Now, what I hear often, especially for newbies, especially for those who are coming into the space of wanting to grow their business. Or you have been quote unquote growing your business for the last 1 to 3 years, and you're trying to figure out why haven't I gotten the result? A lot of the times is that you've been focused on getting the client, but you haven't been focused on doing the work that allows you to support the client. And what do I mean by that? Well, like I mentioned, I had a lot of these things in place. I had contracts, I had systems in place. I also had a safety net for me in a way to support me, even on days that I can't really show up sometimes and deliver. I had a pretty flexible offer that I could easily adjust and maybe even reschedule certain appointments because I had this business model. Now, if you haven't ever worked with a coach who understands what it's like to live with chronic illness and has given you some really important steps to pay attention to. You might be in the scene of you just started your business, you didn't have a business before. If you're in the phase of newbie baby chronic illness you, when like nothing is making sense and you don't know what in the world is going on with your body, and there is no, you know, right or wrong, there's no up or down, everything feels upside down and swirly and around. I think it's funny that I just said it like that. But everything seems like it's shaken up and you don't know which angle or what is, which way is up and which way is down. When you're starting a business from that angle, oftentimes we're just grasping at what we can grab, right? We're just trying to do what we can do. We're just trying to grasp at what we can grasp. And what I have found is during that phase, oftentimes, especially if you haven't stepped into a container where you have a business coach or mentor, Or business bestie who have— has been there along with feeling and being a chronic illness warrior in this baby newbie stage. You have a lot of expectations because you're looking for solutions to really big problems. You're trying to make some income to make ends meet. You're trying to figure out how can I survive this storm of, I don't know what's going on. And so you start focusing mostly on the marketing. You start focusing mostly on social media. You start focusing mostly on I just need to tell people it is what I do. And you're trying different things. So in this season, you might also be like hopping around consistently. You keep— you start one thing, you stop one thing. You might start something for a month and it doesn't work. You're like, okay, that doesn't work. Let me try something else. And you'll start something completely different. And you're like, okay, that didn't work. And then you're like, you're buying all of the courses, you're buying all the freebies, or you're getting all the freebies. You're doing all of the things because you're trying to figure out what is going to stick. And I think this is probably okay for people who don't live with chronic illness, but I think this is probably one of the biggest mistakes that I find for chronic illness warriors, because in this space, we're grasping at just trying to figure out what, if anything, is going to work for us and having these high expectations that if they're gonna work out within the first 1 or 2 tries, and they have to. Because so-and-so said it's going to if I follow these exact steps, right? And that's part of the reason why in my coaching, for no matter what stage you're in, no matter if you're a newbie chronic illness warrior, no matter if you're like in the awareness phase or you're an OG, like you've been dealing with this forever, I think there is a holistic approach to doing this. And this is kind of what I want to talk to you about in context to expectations. When you're living with chronic illness, there's— we have to spend a bit more time on identifying what works with us in the different phases that we're in. If you're in the phase of like, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's going on. I need to try anything and everything. The one thing that is going to help you set and achieve a goal is finding what you do know. I'm going to say that again. Figuring out what you do know is true for you. And this can seem really difficult because at this time, like I said, you're feeling all kinds of feelings. But in this season, it's so important to remember the part of you that had a life before this whatever life is at. You were really good at other things. It was probably really difficult to deal with them and still difficult to deal with them, but you're pretty good at some things. And even though you have some chaos and uncertainty and unpredictableness happening in your life at this time, don't abandon it completely. I want you to sit and think about what aspects of what I'm really good at can be flexible and supportive for me in reality of the expectations that I'm looking to see. So if you're wanting to bring in an extra $500 a month, or to, to start leaving your full-time job and start a part-time job, what is the numbers that make sense for someone who is doing something they already know how to do? When you're a chronic illness warrior, you don't need to try to figure out how to do new things. You need to figure out how to leverage what you do already know. Okay. And in that expectation, then the expectations can shift because if you're in a season of not knowing and unsure of all of the things, and you're trying all of the things that are new, you have an expectation that's skewed with, I can just follow these steps and I'm going to figure it out. Not realizing you need to do these things multiple times to get anywhere close to what this person or these gurus or these courses are saying in order to get to where you want to go. But if you came to some of those courses and programs and coaching with in mind, like, I'm really good at this one thing and I want to take what I'm learning and apply it to that. The expectation of seeing a result sooner will happen, but also give yourself time and grace. There's another thing that happens when it comes to expectations of why you haven't signed your first client. Let's be real, starting a business is a lot of work. Like, setting up some of the things you need to set up for your business takes some time. And sometimes while you're battling living with chronic illness and trying to set up some of these just basic things, you feel like you've been running and growing your business for a long time, but in that time you haven't really been marketing and selling what it is that you do. I'm gonna say that again. You haven't really been marketing and selling what it is that you do. And if you have been marketing and selling, most likely you've been going flip-flop, flip-flop, stop, start, stop, start. You haven't been in some kind of a flow of original time cadence, right? And so because of that, the expectation is skewed. So you're thinking clients should be coming out of the woodworks because you're doing all of this work and why aren't they here? I recently, um, had to share this with a couple of my clients, and I've had to think about this even for myself back in the day of the thought of when you're doing something and you're growing something in your business, there's a backend. So you all know I'm so like into systems, um, community automation, all of that kind of stuff, and having someone else in your business because it helps create safety for you as a chronic illness warrior for the what-if situations, right? We don't ignore those what-ifs. We just plan for them and we work with them no matter the budget. Even if your budget is $20 a month, we can figure out a system and/or support system that can help you to create what you need to create in your life, in your business, to get to your goals. But going back to what I was saying, one of my clients was like, I feel like I've been working with you a while and I'm just so frustrated I haven't gotten a client. And I asked her, I was like, what happened in our first 6 months together? And most of my clients in the first 6 months are like trying to figure out what is going on with their life and their business. Some of them feel like they have been trying so many things, they've turned over so many stones and nothing's working. And often within the first 30 to 90 days, we nail down like what is going to work for them based on what they already know and what they're already good at. Now, that alone is a lot of work. It takes a lot of time, especially if you're doing it by yourself. But even with my clients, we're sitting there and we're going back and forth. We have calls. And they're excited and they're excited about doing all this and learning all about this and tweaking and aligning their, their goals and their expectations around, oh, I know exactly what I need to do. That period of 90 days can feel like, man, why didn't I get any clients? On top of like dealing with your chronic illness stuff, flare-ups, having to reschedule calls because life is happening with your chronic illness, or just life is happening. So you get to the end of the 6-month container. And we just started talking about marketing and sales, right? We just started talking about marketing sales because you may have asked me, I just want to focus on this and that's okay. But then you're frustrated at the end. It's the expectations that are usually getting in the way of you signing your first clients because you're thinking you're behind. You're thinking I'm not doing it right and I'm wrong. And because I have chronic illness, it means it's just going to take me forever. But in reality, it is not going to take forever and it hasn't taken forever. You know, there are people who see success all of a sudden, like the viral mindset of things that we see on social media. And there are people that take time over time to gradually get into where they're going. And that's powerful. Most really successful business owners did not get to where they are in a 3-month, year, or even a 3-year cadence often, right? They didn't see what they're seeing right now in their life and in their business really shortly. So what I want you to think about is, where am I having all of this expectation and it's actually slowing me down? Because what happens is you're going to be showing up in the space when you are marketing and sales and you have the mindset behind doing the marketing and sales, like, I need to do something. I'm missing something. I'm just selling, selling, selling all of this information, and I need to get people to come in the door. I need them to know how amazing I am, how much I know. So I'm just going to push it all out there versus showing all parts of your beautiful personality and just being you, right? Being authentically you versus being driven by this fear of like, I'm never going to book that first client. Because of all of the thoughts and fears you might have. Here's something else to keep in mind. There is power in slowing your roll. I have found so many times in my business and also my clients' businesses that they go on vacation, they take some time away from their business, and they get the one, like the new, the first email subscriber ever, or they get a bump in their podcast listenership. Or they actually sign a client, they get a sales call. And I believe the reason when that happens is because we're removing the pressure we're putting on our business to like produce a thing, produce a client. So where can you give yourself a little bit more grace and a little bit more patience around the fact that you're implementing everything you can and the, the people will come. The first client is the hardest. Let's be real. I'm not gonna lie to you. Even in the time when I was doing my digital marketing business, it's the hardest thing. When I did photography and when I did real estate, the first client was always the hardest because you're developing a new skill of selling what it is that you do and solving problems or helping people get what they want. And it's normal. And this applies to you even if you're like in a brand transition, like you are transitioning into a service or a business, like completely shifting gears or you're pivoting. Give yourself some time with expectations on like what your goals are. Make sure your goals are reasonable, reasonable goals. If you haven't hit this goal, like for example, if you haven't had your first client, don't make your goal be 5 clients by the end of the month. Don't make it— if you have one client, don't make your first goal, your next goal, being like, I'm gonna bump my prices up now. Give yourself some time. We learned this as chronic illness warriors because we know that we need the time to figure out what's gonna work for us. And so we have to kind of gradually, you know, add things in, take things out, test things. Say yay or nay, we don't just re-nig it all. We don't just start everything over. I know when I first was in my like newbie chronic illness phase, that's what kind of the approach I took to my, my health. Right. You know, I was like, take away all of this stuff, only eat greens. And boy, was that a horrible experience. And it like, like literally traumatized me from like being afraid of like certain diets and foods because I literally just like burnt myself out and traumatized myself out when it really was just my approach. And it's the same thing with your business. You could be burning yourself out and believing that your business is not going to be successful because of your approach to trying to make it fit into this expectation that it's going to create this exact result right now. And that's not true. Entrepreneurship alone is just kind of a learning as you go. And that's why my framework is called The Real You. We do something called reset, which is sitting down, doesn't take long. For some clients, it's, you know, a week. Sometimes for other clients, it's 3 months. For other folks, it's just going to happen within 30 days. And it's really a time to just re— refocus on what it is that you're good at. Claim and let go things that don't serve you anymore. Release and embrace new goals and expectations. So we go from the reset to embracing, like, what do you want? What are you great at? What are your strengths? What are some of the things that have been holding you back? What can you forgive yourself for? I know this sounds so woo-woo, but every time I work with a client and we go through this, It's amazing what they can see in the results of even how much they're actually getting done by doing less, because they let go of some of the things that they were just trying to bang their head up against to make it work for themselves. The next thing we do is align. We really focus in on what it is that you can do that again is bring your strengths to the clients you want to work with, the type of offers or services or products you want to do, what kind of systems, and things and tools that you're using in your business that you're just racking your brain and it's not working for you, is actually making it harder for you to even show up. What kind of marketing platforms are you on? Which ones are depleting you that you don't need to really be on, where your people may not even be on, but you're on there because you think that's how you're going to get the client. But in reality, if you spent more time like on LinkedIn versus Instagram, you might find your client because you aren't trying to be everywhere, right? And the last thing we do is leverage. We look at everything that is working well now that we've kind of figured out what is your stride, what is your thing, and we leverage those tools into helping you really build out even more systems, automations, and community to serve you even on your worst days. That is a reasonable expectation. The real you deserves that. The real you deserves to give yourself a little bit of time and understanding and grace, and also realistic goals and attainable ones. The expectation that you have that you will just show up and do the thing is not necessarily always helpful. Yes, we can You know, what is that saying? We can shoot among— shoot for the stars and land upon the moon, or I don't know, shoot for the moon, land upon the stars. Yeah, we can do that. But how exhausted are you going to be when you get there? Right. Give yourself some time. I wanted to mention this as well before I wrap up. One of the things I've noticed too is that a lot of the business advice out there has put us in the mindset that The expectation is that in 90 days you'll make $100,000. I believe that we need to give ourselves permission that you can start and grow your business and be successful at any phase, at any time, because our circumstances are very different. The things that we're leaning into and the capacity that we have is very different. And that's part of the reason why I have started changing the way I market my business and be more focused on what it is that you will accomplish in your time. And here's something else. Some coaches out there, um, have been diagnosed with chronic illness after they've built these systems and these teams and this community. And so the advice they might be giving you is based on the fact that they have never experienced the pain of not having those systems, team, and community. With chronic illness, right? They may have started their business in a circumstance that was difficult. Granted, may have been very difficult, but it didn't also have the layer of living with chronic illness. So I want you to just think about not all advice is serving you, and how is some of this advice adding to the fact that you feel your expectations are not being met? How are these expectations setting you up to feel sick at heart? So I want you to reassess. Take a moment right now, sit and take a look at what's going on. What are your goals? What have you been doing? Where have you been spending your time? Is it reasonable to think that the results that you're looking would have come during this season or during this time? If it is reasonable, How can you look at the collective of what you've been doing and make a logical, data-driven decision on how to move forward, what things to tweak, and release the pressure that you might be putting on yourself and on your business. And also, just because things aren't going the way they— you want them to go doesn't mean it's because you're a chronic illness warrior and it's not meant for you. It just means you need more time. It is really important to set realistic goals, expectations, especially when you're building the foundation for your business for the long term. The first thing you can do is recognize and accept that your unique circumstances are yours. And so the way you show up in your business will look different. Something I've been saying and thinking about recently is like, that you are only limited by what you refuse to accept. Oftentimes we spend a lot of time refusing to accept what is true, and it blocks us from seeing what is also true, what can also be the case. So really take some time to look at what else is true. If you haven't got a client yet, what else is true? What else have you not seen? What else has grown? What else has changed? Focus on incremental progress, setting up small systems. Be sure that if you are really in the space of wanting to book clients, make sure you are marketing and selling. Make sure you are showing up every day or in some capacity, an email or text message, or telling someone on social media, hey, this is what I offer and this is how you can work with me. Oftentimes we're not doing that enough. Most times I find. We aren't doing that enough. And adjust your perception of time and success. Just because all the people that you might be following are saying, I did this in this amount of time and I love, like, whatever things that they're saying, they are not living your life and you're not walking in their shoes. Okay. So remove that achievement bar, that expectation from your mind and step into your reality. And step into growing your business and being in, in, in harmony with that. Now, if you didn't get this clearly, the reason why you haven't booked your first client is most likely because your expectations are a little skewed and you've been doing a lot of work, but maybe you haven't been doing the work that gives you the clients. Brings you the clients right now. Or maybe you have been doing the work, you have been showing up in marketing, and they are coming. Don't give up. Don't stop because you have an expectation that they should have already come, or that you are the problem, or that because you have a chronic illness, this is the reason why you weren't meant for this path. Give it time. And keep going. All right, loves, this is just an episode to help you and helping you get to where you need to go. If you need some more support around growing your business and getting and signing your first client, I'd love to help you. I love looking at my clients' work and looking at all of the things from mindset to the way you're living and to the way you're showing up in marketing about what it is that you do and give you some tweaks in order to adjust. And so that you can really lean into. The good fun parts of being an entrepreneur and also letting go of the shame or the fear or the trauma around the fact that the reason why this is not working is because you're not doing enough. Oftentimes I'm telling my clients to do less. I literally just sent a Voxer message to one of my clients and be like, you don't have to post all of this at one time. Back it up, slow it down. It actually does a really powerful thing for you. And so I think that's part of the problem. We're thinking we need to do more because our expectations say in order to get what we want, we have to do more. And in reality, that's not always the case, especially when it's trying to get your first client. All right. If you would like to work with me and learn how to do this, we talk about topics like this in my one-to-one container, also in our group program called Chronically You and Profitable, where we work together to help you grow your business by starting it in a way that aligns with what you want and where you want to go. That's a wrap, y'all.

Thanks for tuning in to Crafted to Thrive, the podcast that helps entrepreneurs with chronic illness to thrive and build a holistic business and life. Check out our website at craftedittothrive.com for this episode's show notes and all the gifts and goodies. Connect with me on Instagram @thrivewithnikitawilliams for more tips and behind the scenes and more. Tag me to share what you loved about this episode and I'll feature you on an upcoming episode. So until next time, remember, yes, you are crafted to thrive.