How to Align Personal Health and Business Success as a Chronically Ill Entrepreneur with Teresa H...

It all comes down to our mindset. I can give you the best marketing strategies in the world, and if you don't want to do it, or if you're scared, or if you don't think you are the right person for it, you have imposter syndrome, then you're not going to do it.

Welcome to Crafted to Thrive, the globally ranked podcast for entrepreneurs living with chronic illness. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, and after being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses myself, I figured out the surprisingly simple missing links to growing a profitable business without compromising my health. Since then, I've helped dozens of women just like you learn how to do the same. If you're ready to own your story and create a thriving business that aligns with your health and well-being, you're in the right place. Together, we're shifting the narrative of what's possible for entrepreneurs with chronic illness. This is Crafted to Thrive.

I am so excited to have Theresa on the show. I recently got to meet her and chat with her, and it's been such an honor. So please tell us who you are, what you do, where you're from.

Thank you so much for having me on. And you're right, we got on a conversation, we were like, we need to continue this somewhere. So I am so grateful that you've had me on the podcast. So as you already said, I'm Theresa Heathwaring, and I am based over in the UK. I'm kind of in the middle of England and I work online with business owners, not specifically online business owners, which predominantly tend to be female just because I tend to attract more of a female audience and I help them to create a life and business that they dream of, which whenever I say that always makes me feel a little bit like, ew, is that spammy, horrible stuff? And it really isn't. It's about getting them to understand what is important with them, what's important to their world, what season of life they are in, and therefore what business do they want right now that's going to fit with them. And I do this through various different ways. I have a membership, I have a small group coaching program, and then I have one-to-one work where we do all sorts of different things around marketing. That's my background. And then business. And then in the last sort of 5 years, I've really got into mindfulness and mindset work and coaching. So now I focus a lot around that because like you will probably know, it all comes down to our mindset. I can give you the best marketing strategies in the world, and if you don't want to do it or feel scared, or if you don't think you are the right person for it, you have imposter syndrome, then you're not going to do it. So for me, I found out— I was going to say quickly, I didn't find out quickly. It took me a while to work out that actually mindset was so important. And that's what I now do with my amazing members.

It is. You're so right about that. And I love that it's not cheeky sounding, like, at all, because I used to say that all the time too. I'm like, because it's important. I know there are people out there that feel like this has to be, like, so straight and narrow and professional and, like, a very particular way it needs to look and feel. But for women, I feel like it's very different. It's very different. It kind of needs to have that part that tugs at our heart and our, and our soul and like what we love to do. And so definitely building something you love is so important, I think, as women, for sure.

I think so. And I think when we look at maybe people who— when, especially when I first got into the industry, it was mostly males. It was all males saying, this is how you should live your business, this is how you should live your life, this is what you should do. And it's like run a home with children and have to do all those other things. And also, as women, we are different. We aren't so confident in ourselves, or most of us aren't. We aren't so kind of— we just don't have the same traits. So for me, it was— it took me a long time to go, oh, hang on a minute, you're telling me what to do and yet you don't know my life one second of it. Like, you can't even start to relate. And that's the other thing. Just because I'm a mum and a stepmum and a dog mum and all those other things doesn't mean I can, I can tell someone else what to do in their business. Someone asked me earlier today, I was being interviewed earlier and they said, could you give me your best sales strategy? And I think I really annoyed them because I was like, my best sales strategy for me, because I know me and how I work, is I can't say that's going to work for everyone else because everyone's different. So, and I think I think there's not enough of that. I think there's too much of the, here's the broad brush, here's the everyone do this, everyone show up this way, everyone do this thing, everyone have this type of business and there you go, you'll be a success. And if you don't, if you're not a success, that's your own fault. That's nothing to do with me and my way. And like, and therefore you're made to feel like the failure when of course that isn't going to work for you because you might not want to work like that. You might not even want that business. So I think getting really clear on who you are and what you want in a business is so very important and then not apologizing for it. And I think this is another thing, like I've got a lovely member who's in my small group coaching and she has flown in this last 12 months like she is like my poster child. But she was told by another coach a long while ago, you're not charging enough. And by this stage in your business, you should be earning more money, you should be bringing in more money. And she has two young children and she's like, I want to do the school run and I want to be able to take weeks off in summer and I want to be able to take the whole of Christmas off and I want to do this. And I know and she knows that, yeah, we could— she has, by the way, increased her income, which is wonderful. But, you know, we know she could probably increase it double again if she was happy to work all the hours that God sends and not see her kids. But she doesn't want to do that. So again, it's getting clear on what she wants and going, great that you're earning this amount of money, great that you've got this life balance. Like, people can't— full-time job people can't earn what you're earning working effectively school hours. Like, so go you. You are crazy successful. But in someone else's eyes, they don't see that.

So important. And obviously y'all know why I said yes for Theresa being on the show. We're so in alignment with this. It's amazing to the point like that, a core part of what I do with my clients. It's the same thing. We first discover what is the real you, what is the vision. Like, because your vision means it's a different path, it's a different journey, just like you were saying. And it's not going to look the same. There might be bits and pieces. I like to tell people it's like bits and pieces you might take from other people's journey, but it has to be intentional for you. And I love that you are doing that with other women and showing them how to do that in a way that feels good to them. And when we talked initially, one of the things that I really connected with you on was the fact that how we live, specifically for women living with chronic illness, affects what our vision is going to look like, how we are going to do that. So has that been a part of your personal journey in building what you're building today?

Yeah, it has to be. I think when we think about— especially if you're living with a chronic illness. Like, what could your life look like if you didn't have your own business? Like, how difficult might it be to be in a job? And again, right, someone might be sat there going, well, your business isn't successful because you don't earn X amount of money. No, but if I don't feel great, if I need to suddenly disappear off the face of the earth for 2, 3 days, I can do that. Now, how flippin' amazing is that? And Yet people don't see that. They don't think about that. But I think it took me a really long while to get clear on who I was and what I wanted. And actually, yeah, I had a great conversation with my coach where she was saying to me, it was like I started off and I'm over here, okay? I'm over on the left-hand side because this side is what everyone else did. So I look at what everyone else does. I'm like, right, that's what I need to succeed. So I literally take them like a manual and I follow the instructions and the rules and I do all the thing. And then I'm about like a year or so in and I go, what am I doing? These aren't even my values. These aren't even— and I started to realize that some of the things I was teaching I didn't like and it was not in line with me and it felt yucky and horrible. So then I literally flipped over to the other side and then over here on the right-hand side, I did the complete opposite. So that wasn't right either because it was like, okay, yeah, I don't want to do that, but I'm still not sure what I should be doing or how I should be showing up. So I'm going to completely flip over to the right-hand side where I'll just do the complete opposite. And she said, it's like you're playing golf. She goes, it's like you're taking a swing and someone's taught you how to swing, but that doesn't work for you. So you've literally spun around and now you're trying to hit it the wrong way.

Wrong end of the golf.

Yeah, yeah. Like, literally, she's like, well, I don't want to do it. I'm going to do the complete opposite. She goes, that's not working either. So it took me a long while to go, Okay, let's— and it's hard to like ignore all the external stuff, like, but what is it that I want to do? How do I want to show up? And it changes. And like I said, the season of life thing is so important. And, you know, I'm going to keep saying for women, but it really is for women. When I started my business, I was a single mom of a 4-year-old. Like, that is a very different world to the world I'm in today as a mom of a 12, nearly 13-year-old. Oh my gosh, girls, just like that is a whole nother podcast. It doesn't itself. Um, but yeah, like, and being a stepmom and being remarried, and so I'm changed. Like, the time I can commit has changed. The— like, I'm very lucky I get to travel, and that's one of the things I love the most. But I can now because my daughter spends half the time with the dad and half the time with me. Like, so it's got to come down to you and personally you and how you feel and what's going on in your life. And I think it needs to— for me, it needed someone else to go, okay, well, what is important to you? And I think That's hopefully what we do for the people we work with. We give them that space to sit and talk about, well, why is this important? Because otherwise you end up creating something you hate. And then that ego of ours goes, well, I can't give it up though, because what will people think? They'll think I failed and they'll think I did. And it's like, yeah, but what was it like if someone takes a job and then goes, I don't like this job, and goes and does another job? No one goes, oh, what have you done? Like, but somehow we feel like we get stuck in our business and we're like, yeah, no, I'm stuck here I've created this monster for myself and I've gotta keep doing it, but we absolutely don't have to.

Yeah. And that's the power, right? Like that's the power. I think we, we forget that is actually one of the powerful tools in our wheelhouse of being our own business owners is that we can look at it today and decide, you know what? No, like this is not what it is. We need to flip this on its head or whatever we need to do in order to make it work for us. So I love that you shared that. What has been some, like, personal challenges for you through this journey of building your business that someone who's listening could be like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one experiencing this? And how has that informed how you continue to grow?

I love that question. That's a great one. So For me, I think one of the biggest problems was I looked at other people. Not only did I let them inform what I wanted, but I took their success and I measured myself against it. And I don't think there are enough people in this world, in the business world in general, who are honest about how hard it is and what it takes. So for me, that day. And I never wanted to be a business owner. I never, ever— like, I wasn't one of those people that, like, at school started selling something or like— it never appeared on my radar until literally I handed my notice in on a job. I was a single parent. I needed to earn money and I couldn't find another job. And I just thought, what if I can do this for myself? Because I've been doing it for years. I've worked in marketing forever. So For me, I looked at other people and thought, okay, that's the way, you know, they're really successful, they're doing this. And therefore every time something didn't go as planned, which always happens to everyone at every point, there is not a single business owner out there who is literally just like breezing through this journey because no one talks about it. And therefore I felt like I'm getting this wrong or I'm not a real business. I hear that a lot. You know, I'm just playing at this thing. I think the other thing when I got started was I didn't have anybody. Like, I didn't have that community. I didn't have those people. I didn't have— I was surrounded by people who were employed. I was surrounded by my family who thought I was mad, literally mad, and probably still do to this day. Like, and they'll talk about the business like, oh, how's it going? And, and like, as if it's this some little silly thing type whatever. And it was funny the other day, I felt like a bit of an idiot actually. My sister messaged me saying, My auntie's birthday is coming soon. Can you send a video message? Right. Well, she literally lives like 30, 40 minutes away from me, so I find that a bit weird why I've got some video message. Anyway, I was getting really busy, didn't have time to do it. Got to Athens where I was doing a talk and thought, I haven't sent this video. Messaged my sister going, is it too late? She's like, no, you've got to do it today though. I'm sat at this place, right, doing my workshop with my microphone on, looking like I think I'm Madonna or something, doing this video like, hey, have an amazing birthday.

Sorry, I'm just here in Athens.

I sent it to my sister. I went, if it's ridiculous, don't send it. And she's like, no, it's fine. But like, you know, no one gets what you're doing. And also some of the people who love us the most, they're the worst.

Like, like, seriously, like, it's so true. But it's, it's so true.

Really don't mean to be, but they think they're being kind. Like, my husband will say to me all the time, you work too hard. I didn't sit at my desk till 11 o'clock this morning. I can assure him I'm all right. Like, Do you know what I mean? And he'll see me because, like, you know, I— we do it live later on, so it's in the evening. He's like, are you working too hard? I'm not working too hard. And I get to do something I love. So even the ones who think they're trying to be kind by going, are you sure you don't want to get a job? Like, no, I don't want a job, thank you. But you could probably earn more money, especially in the early days. Yeah, but I would hate it. So I think being alone and then being alone and seeing these other people. So I think what I'm trying to do in my world is I'm really honest, like, and sometimes I worry that I may be too honest and maybe like people are like, God, this running your business is doom and gloom, like it's awful and it's really not. It's amazing. I love it. But like I put a new product out there and I put it at a lower price because I was constantly being told you're too expensive and no one bought it. So I left it a few months and then I closed it down and then I wrote an email to my list going, I've just closed this down and this is why, because it didn't work. I was trying to do this, it didn't work, right? So I've stopped it. And the amount of people who come back to me like, oh, thank you, Teresa, I really appreciate you saying that. I just sent out an email today because I've been getting more in line with stuff and I've just upped my prices and my prices are upping at the end of this week and they are more than doubling. Like, and I sent out an email today and the title was, how can I justify putting my prices up? And you know what it said in the email? And it sounds really arrogant and I'm really not like this. I put, I don't have to. I don't have to justify it and neither do you. It's your business. You get to do what the hell you want with your business. And actually now I feel way more aligned with my pricing and it feels great. Whereas I was trying to meet and be and do and everything to everyone else. And now I've gone, no, this is where I'm at. This is what I'm worth. And I don't have to justify that to anybody because I run my own business, I get to make the decisions. So I think for me, finding that community early on and finding those people who go, yes, I, I guess perceived by you as are successful, but it's not as easy breezy as people think. And even when you reach this level of having a team or getting flown out to like do things, there are always things that are going to come scare the living daylights out of you. And it's about being honest about it, or I think it is.

I think that's a really powerful point. I think— I know you're 100% right about the information and what's out there about what the ups and downs of business looks like. I mean, some people talk about it, but it's like, like a blip. Like, if you can see my finger, it's like a blip today. It's not anything.

Oh, yeah, I felt this. I'm okay now. And all this money came flowing in.

Yeah, right. Yeah, no, nobody's talking about the time you were like sitting under your table crying or in the closet or like looking at your business thinking, why am I doing this? Should I throw this out? Why did I start this? We have those moments. And it's always interesting when I interview other women, when I ask them sometimes like, what has been some challenges? And they're like, It's like, that wasn't really a challenge. Like, that sounds very— a certain— it sounds like a way to appear as if you don't have doubts, and everyone does. And I think it's so important, like you said, that we normalize that business is not always going up. Like, you know, we see all of the time, especially I know with your marketing background, that if you look at these even big corporations, they're not seeing like all the waves going up. Like in their stats and all that, they're having down moments, up moments. Like, think about the stock market, y'all. Like, how often is that thing going off the chain?

So great example. Yeah, yeah. And you're right. And also as a side note to that, which is so good, it doesn't always have to be either. Like, people always talk about growing, getting to the next level, expanding. Again, if you know you, And if I know my audience and my members, one of the things in small group coaching is we goal set. We obviously every quarter we have a goal, we have 3 goals in which they go for. And some of them, the goals are like, you know, I need to earn this or I want to grow this or want this. And the one woman came on, she's like, my goals are really dull, like they're really boring admin goals. And it's like, but actually you are in a great place at the moment. You have grown your business to the point you need to grow it. And now you want to put some systems in place, or now you want to get consistent with this. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with going, you know what, I'm good where I am right now. I just want to make it a bit more streamlined. We don't always have to be going for the next big thing. Or just because you hit like one financial goal doesn't mean now you've got to double it and you've got to go for double next year. Like, you've got to weigh up. And again, this is where knowing you in the season of life and what you want, you've got to weigh up. Okay, yeah, I could add that goal to go big next year with my income, but what would it take and what would have to change? Because something will have to change. We can't do the same thing and hope to double our income. That would be amazing. And are you willing to have that change? And are you okay with the— there's always some kind of downside to this. Okay, if I want to increase my income here, I might have to work that day I take off currently. Or I might have to bring on a team. So yeah, I could double my income, but my profit is not double. So it's about working that out. But you don't always have to be growing and jumping to the next thing. Yeah, great if you want to, but don't feel like because other people are going, you've got to have this, that you need to do that.

Yeah, exactly. I love that. I think that's the theme of this is just don't build a business or vision on someone else's highway. Yeah. Like, yeah, like just, just don't do it. Just don't do it. Yeah. Figure out— I always say figure out what it is that you need in this season is always good advice.

100%. And I say don't measure yourself by someone else's ruler. So like, don't measure your level of success by someone else's ruler. It can only be by yours.

Yeah. And everyone's ruler is different. Like, you know, I find for myself personally, I'm in a group coaching program too. And there are women in there who are definitely wanting to reach millions and millions. And it's like, for me, that's not my season. That's not where I'm seeing. That's not what I want. And sometimes I think as a coach— and you let me know if this is something you find, Theresa— is that as coaches, we can at times make our visions seem as if it should be our client's vision.

Yes. Yeah, I totally get that. Like, I think sometimes— do you not find that people— you attract people that want similar to what you've got, which makes perfect sense? Yeah, because, you know, if you know someone's got what you want, then you're gonna— and you can be taught by them and you can be coached by them, then 100% do that.

Yeah.

But it doesn't have to be like that. And I feel like sometimes our job is to go— and I try really mindfully to just go, this is me, this is what I want, this is what I choose. That doesn't mean that has to be for the rest of you. The other thing I did in my group coaching program, which is difficult, but I'm just about making it work, the requirement to join is not a financial requirement, as in it's not a financial level they have to have hit because I've got people in there who will never make six figures, never, because their business isn't set up that way. They don't want it. The balance they want in their life, they just don't want six figures, but they're willing to work really hard and they want to put the time and the focus and the effort into their business. Then I've got other people who want to hit seven figures and that's fine. And there's no It's weird because most coaching, group coaching I've been in had to be, you've got to be at this level. And it is interesting because I totally get that. I totally get like you want to be challenged. You want to know that there are other people in the room that can help lift you to where you want to be. But also I feel like, especially in my world, it's a mindset. So it's like someone could have the money. So there are people that have come to me and gone, I'd like to join. And I've gone, Okay, but are you going to put the work in? Are you going to show up? Are you going to do it? I don't care if you can afford to join. That's not the question here. The question is everyone who's in there shows up. They do the work, they get on the calls, they support each other. They're a community. They're great together. And just because one is bringing in 70,000 a year and one is bringing in 700,000 a year, that makes no difference to them. They're okay with that. And I know not everybody would. And again, that's fine. It's about the effort they want to put in and it's about that accountability they want about how well they want to show up, what that community they want. So those things are so important. And I know people who have amazingly hit on a niche and suddenly flown and they've been phenomenal and got a huge income, but it doesn't mean that they're right for doing that kind of program. So I think it's a really interesting one. And again, I wouldn't be standing by what I said if I said you had to earn over this amount of money to come in, because I'm not letting you decide what you want for your business.

Yeah.

And I think what I have found too is that when it's not based on money and it's more based on those values and the work, you actually have a much more colorful experience of getting to whatever growth that looks like for you. Because growth— I've been talking about this a lot on the podcast— growth is beyond just numbers.

There is the—

I mean, Mindset to me is probably the biggest growth, as you mentioned, that most of us experience, no matter what level you're in. The money is the money. Like, it's like the money, but the mindset work and the personal development really honestly is, you know, if you want to, if you want to get better as a person, become an entrepreneur. Like, yeah, you have to do so much work on yourselves. In your thinking in order to be open and humble, you know, that I'm learning.

And you know what? It is such a good word in terms of being humble, because I think that's another thing that we have to teach ourselves. That again, and I don't know whether it's the same with you, when, you know, some of the stuff I've been in and some of the stuff I regret bringing in, quite honestly, but it teaches us something every time.

Always.

But it was so ego-driven and it was so like, if you weren't at this amount of money, then you weren't worthy. And it's like, you know what? What was lovely when I started the coaching program was I took them from my membership and I said to them individually, I'm starting this thing. This is a couple of years back. I'm starting this thing. Would you like to be part of it? And I chose a real array of like, I guess if you were looking just at income, incomes. However, I took people who worked so flippin' hard, but they were so far off where they needed to be. From a personal development point of view. I took people who didn't want to earn a lot of money, weren't that bothered about a lot of money, but from a personal development point of view, they had done so much work and could add so much value. And I think you're right. When we talk about growing, it has to be in all aspects because a bit like we were saying earlier, like I know when my husband said to me, like if he sees me working hard, he's like, are you sure? Like, what? Could you not just go back to being an agency? Because you used to bring in so much money when you're an agency. I was like, I don't want to be an agency. Like, And this is the thing. It's like, I know I could bring in— I could do just consultancy and charge an absolute flipping fortune. However, I love working with small business owners. It makes me so very happy. So again, that wouldn't be success. Yeah, it might look like it on paper because it might go, oh wow, look how much you're earning. I could probably go out and get a marketing director's job, you know, with a really good salary. But again, I wouldn't be happy. So we've got to look at it. And another thing we do in the group and I teach is we don't just look at like the money, but we look at how your team is. We look at how you are as a person. We look at how your downtime is, how we did an exercise the other week where we were working out what your true north was. And we did a kind of very, very mindful type exercise where I got them, I did a meditation with them. I got them to feel in their body like what it felt like when things were good. So they imagined like an amazing moment in their life where they were the happiest and, and I got them to feel it in their body. And then we imagined something that didn't go so well or they didn't like, and nothing too traumatic, but just, you know, that sucked or that made me feel really uncomfortable and imagined how that felt in their body. And then what I got them to do is go through all the aspects of their business and sit with it and go, how does that make me feel? To look for their true north, to look for, am I in my business and does it feel good? And it resulted in someone ditching a client because they were like, do you know what? I was doing the exercise and I thought about working with this product person. I was like, yeah, great. And that felt good. And this would be— and then I thought of this and I was like, ooh. And it's like when they listen to themselves, they were like, I don't like that. So again, that's a measure of success. She could have kept that client to keep the money, but she didn't enjoy working with them. So it's that kind of this work and vision work and goal work and I think sometimes it can be seen as like a bit frivolous or a bit silly or a bit like, is it really that important? Should I really sit there and do a big goal setting thing and think about my vision and think about my true north?

Yeah.

Like any amount of time you spend in this is going to come back tenfold because you're going to love what you do and you're then going to make sure that you're geared up to only do those things or to make sure you get more of that stuff. Whereas you could just end up earning money and it sucking, and then that's not sustainable. Like, no, you're not going to do that.

Yeah.

And especially if you're living with chronic illness, this is something I will say that I am most aligned with most of the women I choose to be my coaches, right? But there's always a piece sometimes that I find that I'm a little bit of out of alignment with the concept that business is business. And my thought is that business is the most personal thing you can do.

Oh, so much.

Like, outside of, like, our relationships and our spirituality and all of that stuff, business is the most personal thing you can do. And if you look at it like it's this, this, like, thing that's over there, I don't see how that's sustainable, especially with most people. What I'll say that I've worked with and myself living with chronic illness, especially women who are highly sensitive, We feel all of the things in our bodies regardless whether we want to or not.

Yeah, like cinema sometimes.

Exactly. So if we're building a business that we don't feel good doing it and we're marketing a way we don't feel good doing it, if we're attracting clients that we don't like, you cannot sustain that even physically, right? Like, your body will respond to that. Like, it's like, I hate that. Like, it's going to try to protect you from this thing that you're building that is so ugly and so disgusting to your body that it's not going to work long term. It's not going to work.

Yeah. And you're right. And I think you are battling with something like with a chronic illness, with anything that you are having to deal with on a daily basis that is causing you discomfort, whether it's physical or mental or whatever discomfort. The last thing you want to do is bring something else in that's going to do the same because it's just going to exacerbate all of it. Whereas I think, and again, you want to work with people where they understand those things. Like one of my members, she only works with women who are parents because she's a woman who's a parent and she gets what that's like. She gets that you know, she finishes at 3 o'clock because she goes on the school run. And so she doesn't want to work with people that— and she's had them before. And this is one of the reasons now why she's so sort of fierce about this, that she has to apologize the fact I'm going to do the school run or I'm taking the afternoon off because it's sports day. Again, we don't want to deal with people, and especially if you're with a chronic illness, you don't want to work with people or create a business where you are too embarrassed or too you don't feel good going, you know what, like, I'm just gonna have to take a bit of time, I'll be back. Or I can work in this way. Like, it might be that you choose to work in a way that isn't as reactive because you don't know how you're going to feel on a particular day, whereas you can work a month in advance with stuff because then you can do it when you feel good, it's done, and you don't have to worry when you don't feel so good. So again, it's creating all of us in our life, but especially if you're living with something like chronic illness, ease has got to be the word. Like, everything needs that element of ease. Yeah. And your business has to be that too. And you're so right with— and this took me a while. I came from a corporate world. I came from a very male-dominated corporate world. They didn't want to know if you were married. They didn't want to know if you had kids. They didn't want to— and like, you weren't even allowed to pretend you had a life out of that work. And So when I came into my business and started my business, I ended up sharing an office with some absolutely chauvinistic pig guys. Like, they were the worst. So that carried on for a little while. And then suddenly I realized that actually people were signing up because of me. And part of me was the fact of all these other elements. It's not just Teresa who has a degree in marketing and has all these years experience. It's Teresa who can have a laugh. It's Teresa who likes a gin. On an evening. It's Teresa who, you know, has a child and has to juggle these things. And especially now, even more, I embrace all of it because I can relate to other people who can relate to me now because they can go, oh, thank God there's someone out there doing it that is like me, that looks like me, that sounds like me, that has the same issues that I have or has the same problems that I have. So I know in not every business and not every world you're going to be able to fully embrace those things, right? But life's just so much easier if you can, surely.

Yeah, so many nuggets in there, especially about the piece about people being attracted to all the things that you don't think are that big of a deal, right? Like, and especially as online entrepreneurs, sometimes we're so focused on like the certifications and the, you know, all of the like actual work experience. But the thing that people are like watching you and looking at you for, like, it's so funny you say this, that we're talking about this, because I went, I did a little story on my Instagram the other day and I was going to a doctor's office and I, it actually takes me really a very intentional thought to say I'm going to show this because obviously I work with women with chronic illness growing a business. So I don't want them to ever feel like me running my business means that I'm just never in a flare-up. I'm never going and doing those things. Like, no, I'm totally like you. And I was like, I'm gonna share this. And I look probably not the best. I look kind of like not that cute. Like, let's just be real, okay? And I was like, just showing—

just going to the doctor.

Yeah, I'm going to the doctor's office. I am not trying to look cute, especially this particular doctor's office. But anyway, I'm going and I'm like having this realization that I need to share something that's on my heart about this process. And I can tell you, I had so— again, it always reminds me, like, this is what people want from me more of, right? It's not about the tips. It's not about, you know, all of these things I learned about the mindset, da da da da. Like, yeah, they love that. But when I come in and show the real— all of these little parts of me that are not always connected to my business, people are like, yes, give me more.

Yes. And that's for a couple of reasons. One, people like people. People like to see people and real people stuff. And, and they remember stories. They remember that kind of detail. They won't necessarily remember like that you've got a degree in something or a particular stat about something. They're not gonna remember that, but they will remember when you tell a story because stories sit better in our brain. The other thing that's really interesting about this is I did some, I'm not certified in this at all, but I did some work in StoryBrand, building a StoryBrand. And when it talks about the meets the guide and you are the guide, i.e., we're the guides as business owners, it says that you have to show them two things. You have to show them authority, which I think we're very good at doing. This is why I'm good at my— here's a blog on this thing, here's a podcast on this thing. But the other thing we have to show them is empathy. And because so many of us, and I'm a good example, you're a good example, we are our customers. Like, you know, we deal with people who are like us. So in order for us to show empathy to them, in order for them to see that actually we get it, we've got to show that stuff too. We can't say, especially with you, Nikita, you can't say we can create you a business that you can work with, with a chronic illness. It's okay. It's this. If you're not saying like, this is how I do it or this is how I manage it. Like if you go, oh, it's okay for you to show vulnerability, but I couldn't possibly show that for one minute, right? Again, it's no good me saying to my audience, you need to show up brave like this and you need to do this thing, or you need to think about what you want for your business when I'm trying to do a flipping copycat of something else that I've seen because I think that's the way to do it. I've got to show up as me and go, This is what I want for my business. This is how I want to appear. So, so we've got to be the kind of the example of it. And in our marketing, and if you're listening to this in your marketing, you need to show the authority and the empathy and often the empathy because we often deal with clients who are ourselves. The empathy is showing up the real stuff, is showing up the real life stuff. And, and like you said, that's the stuff. And even if you just want to do it for the algorithm, like if you are literally going, this is going to get good interaction, which is going to help the next post about it. But you're right, like, that was the thing. So we were talking before we got on. I've just been to Athens to do a workshop all day, and I'm obviously not based in Athens, and I flew over and I had an extra day there, and I was really nervous about being on my own there and traveling on my own and sightseeing on my own and all this sort of thing in another country. And I put on my Instagram stories— I'd been posting stories all day and they've been getting some good interaction, like, not, you know, just kind of average interaction. And then I posted that it surprised me how okay I was. So I was very honest about— because again, like, if you see me, I've been to Dubai, I've been to the States. I get, you know, especially before lockdown, I'd be flown all over to speak. So people must look at me and think, oh, she just loves it, it's easy. And it's like, well, yeah, either I fly in and fly out again, or I know someone there, or my husband comes with me. So this is actually the first time where I was on my own and I had a whole day sightseeing on my own. So I put, you know, I'm really surprised how much I've actually been okay with this. Have you ever been on holiday on your own? And I asked a poll and the interaction on that was huge. Yeah, so big because people who had been on holiday on their own were like, yes, I love it, it's brilliant. And then a load of other people like, no, I don't think I could. And then I was able to reply to all these people going like, I didn't think I could. Next, I'm really surprised. I feel really brave like that. I've done it.. And then if you just want to think about the algorithm, the next few posts had 3 times the amount of views than the post previously because I'd had that interaction. So that's the stuff like, yes, someone might be looking at me thinking, oh, I'd love to speak, I'd love to be someone flying me out somewhere and speak. That'd be amazing. But that didn't get the like, yeah, they were like, that's awesome. But it was the me going, actually, that was a bit scary, wasn't it? Like, you know, and I've just done this. How brave am I?

Like, that's what got the interaction.

And so showing that stuff is so very important.

Yeah, that is so true. And I agree with you. That story, I did see that on Instagram and I was like, yes, I kind of sort of feel the same way. Even if I'm not going out of town, I do so much with my husband that at this point, if I go somewhere— I did that last week. I went on like a little spa day and it was just me and I did dinner with myself. And I was like, as weird as this feels, I'm actually surprised of how excited I feel in this moment. Yeah, it is the human part of us that we— it's such a vulnerable place, right? It's such a vulnerable place to show up in that way sometimes. And I'm the first one to tell people, you're not going to tell everybody everything, but just showing pieces, like flex of what that looks like in your life, can make such a difference for someone who is like looking at you and wondering, like, are you really a human?

Yes. Yeah. Because often people don't show that or they show this real highlighted view of, like you said, oh, I was feeling a bit down 5 minutes, but I'm okay now. Like, business is great. Thanks very much. Like, we do need to see that. And I remember someone saying that, you know, you don't tell them when you're in the weeds. You wait till you've got yourself out the weeds and then you tell them you were in the weeds. And I do agree with that. I agree that no one wants to go, no one wants to to see a story of me as I was going, and I don't want to be on my own, what am I going to do? Very entertaining, I'm sure, but no one needed to see that. Then me going, oh, I'm really surprised, I wasn't keen, but actually it was really good. Like, that's fine. Like, we're not saying go online sobbing, like, about— I mean, if you want to, you can.

I mean, if you want to, if you're good with that, go ahead.

Business, your choice. Like, that is cool. But for me, that wouldn't do. Like, I will be really open about stuff once I've kind of worked out, like, okay, I'm on the next stage now, I've just moved slightly on, and therefore I'm happy to admit this didn't go as well, or I wasn't keen on this, or, you know, whatever it might be. So yeah, I think you've got to be the boss of that. You've got to decide whether that's what you want or not. You know, like you said, we can't just say show everything and some people are really comfortable and really kind of happy to share things. Some people not at all. So it's where you are really.

Well, this has been great. Can you tell us anyone who is— and I know I'm not going to ask the question of like, what's the one tip, but the best advice you've ever received or you feel like you've received in growing your business?

Good one. Okay. And you know what sprung to my mind instantly? So I know it's the right thing. I started working with my amazing coach. We all need a coach, FYI. Yes. And the coaches need coaches. I started working with my amazing coach. I started working with her when I had an agency, when I— we had clients. So years and years and years ago now, and I'd lost a couple of big clients for no good reason. Like, it wasn't like we'd upset them or it wasn't like they hated us. It was just the project came to an end, or actually it just stopped. And they were big money clients. And I went on to a coaching call with her and I was like freaking out. And I was like, this is, you know, the nightmare. This is awful. This is— and she was like, just give it a minute. And we calmed down. And she was like, what if you were exactly where you're meant to be? And I was like, did you not just hear what I'm saying? This is awful. It's horrendous. She was like, seriously though, what if you were? And I sat there and thought, whether I believe that or not, whether I sit there and go, that's just utter rubbish, Mary, I don't know what you're talking about, it just feels nicer. Like, thinking, oh, I'm meant to be here, just feels so much nicer than freaking out because of what's happening. And also, like, freaking out isn't going to change anything. Me losing it because I lost those clients and sobbing because that income's gone, wasn't going to get the income back, wasn't suddenly going to make them go, I'm so sorry, Theresa, here we go. Or another client go, here's some money. That wasn't going to change that at all. So actually all that was doing was upsetting me and bothering me. So just by her going, what if you are exactly where you're meant to be? And you know what? She was right. Because when I lost those two clients, it freed me up enough space to start the online business, which I mean, what a start, which then resulted in a few months later me sacking the rest of my clients so I could do the online business, which I've done ever since.. So I was exactly where I needed to be. But like I said, even if you're sat there going, what a load of rubbish, it just feels nicer. It just feels nicer saying to yourself, what if I'm exactly where I need to be, rather than this is horrendous, I'm going to cry, I've got to get a job at the local supermarket.

It's so funny. That is such a good piece of advice. It's like a good coaching to me. It's so funny. I just had a conversation with one of my clients, that very same situation. I was like, yeah, but what if this is what's supposed to be happening right now? Like, what if, you know? And I love that you shared that, and I think it's powerful to understand that if everything flips upside down tomorrow, or if you haven't even started whatever it is you think you need to have started, maybe the reason why is that you never should have started in the first place. And something else is coming, or this is your time to reset, to really be intentional, right? And be like, what opportunities are actually in front of me? When we're in freakout mode, we can't see those opportunities. No.

And we don't make good decisions then.

No.

So if it just calms you down to make a better decision, then great. And it happens all the time, like, really stupid small stuff. My husband and I were going to London next week because I've got some stuff down there that I've got to do, and we tried to book a hotel and it didn't go through properly, and it was really annoying, and we had to get it sorted. Anyway, today I went to book the trains and there's a train strike, so we've had to change all our plans. So it's like, and I know you might be listening to this thinking, well, that's just stupid, but like, you know, the hotel was meant to be booked, we should have had it booked, and a problem happened. And he was a bit annoyed with me because I hadn't sorted it out yet, and I was like, I just haven't had time. And then of course this happened, I was like, that's why I hadn't had time, because now we don't need that hotel because now we do the trip as we needed to do. So everything's changing. So, and you can't see it. And even the big stuff in life— I got a divorce, like, when my daughter was 4. Like, that was bad. Like, that was a big thing in my life, you know. But if I hadn't got divorced, I wouldn't have started my business, I wouldn't have met my now husband, I wouldn't live where I am in the house I am, I wouldn't be as happy as— like, you can't always say— I'm not saying everything like that. But like I said, it just feels a whole lot nicer to think that, even if you don't believe it.

Yeah, exactly. It feels a lot nicer. And like, your nervous system is like, thank you.

Yes, thank you. Yeah, it's like that fight or flight is like, we can just calm you down now, we're taking over, it's fine.

Yeah, exactly. Well, how can we find you, and is there anything special coming up that we should know about?

So you can search Theresa Heath-Waring anywhere. The advantage of having a very unusual name because I appear everywhere. My favorite is Instagram, so you will find me most often on there and you can go to TheresaHeathWaring.com and everything's on there, including my podcast, which is Your Dream Business. And what have I got coming up that's exciting? Well, going into 2023, I'm actually doing some in-person events myself, which is very exciting, but they're mainly based in the UK, so that's a bit unfortunate, although I am trying to find somewhere in the States because I do like going over there. But yeah, just come and check out the 90-day program and the group coaching and all that good stuff.

So awesome. Thank you so much for being on, Teresa.

Thank you so much for having me. It's been an absolute joy.

That's a wrap, y'all. Thanks for tuning in to Crafted to Thrive, the podcast that helps entrepreneurs with chronic illness to thrive and build a holistic business and life. Check out our website at craftedtothrive.com for this episode's show notes and all the gifts and goodies. Connect with me on Instagram @thrivewithnikitawilliams for more tips and behind the scenes and more. Tag me to share what you loved about this episode, and I'll feature you on an upcoming episode. So until next time, remember, yes, Yes, you are crafted to thrive.