How to Get Better at Managing the Stress of Uncertainty

Welcome to She's Crafted to Thrive. I'm your host Nikita Williams, and this show is for all the ladies who are making and creating things that they love. You will hear conversations about the real everyday struggles of juggling life and business while trying to maintain passion and harmony. As women, we have the skill of getting things done, but sometimes we get in our own way. It's here where you'll see that you're not alone. You'll discover that success does not mean perfection. Fear and negative Thoughts and challenges are all a part of the journey. And on this podcast, you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to have a life and business that thrives.

Hey guys, so if you're listening to this episode in sequence of all the other episodes and you're listening to it on March 19th, 2020, you know where I'm at, right? It is in the middle of all of the virus talk, the epidemic, pandemic, whatever-demic, um, that we're dealing with today. And I am not going to front, I have had a hard time thinking about what to talk about in this solo cast. I have been having ups and downs in dealing with the emotional, mental side of these things, along with knowing how this is going to affect so many of my friends and family in their life and in their businesses and financially and so many different ways. So bear with me while I, um, just share some things that I think that might help or that have been helping me thus far and to be honest and frank with you. So in the very beginning of all this, I felt like I had my head on straight with all this, right? Like having perspective, you know, living with a chronic illness day in and day out for the last, however long, for me like having a diagnosis is back in 2009. So for over 15 years at this point, I have lived with constantly being more conscious of washing my hands and, um, staying away from people that are sick because my immune system tends to be on the weaker side, especially if I'm having a flare-up. And all of the things, right? So I was like, everyone's freaking out about this washing their hands and, um, you know, being careful, but I have lived my life like that for, for years at this point. Matter of fact, I think about 6 months ago I was telling a friend of ours at one of our congregation meetings that I really wish people who were sick would just stay home because people like me who have a harder time fighting against viruses and things like that tend to catch them, especially if we are having flare times. And so there's that. Also, the other thing about this is that stress is a huge trigger for most people who are living with any type of chronically ill disease. And this news of how everything's going on is very stressful. And I feel like I have learned over the last 2 years on how to manage that stress with deep breathing exercises, essential oils, and being able to really communicate with people what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. So about a week ago, I thought I had all this together. I felt like really great. I was encouraging my husband, I was encouraging my mom, just people who are talking about it, and I felt very level-headed, calm, and good. And here we are a week later, and I'm feeling a little drained. I'm feeling a little mentally drained, physically and emotionally. And it's because you start realizing the effects of what this can mean for so many people. Talking with my clients and hearing some of the things that they're going through, you can't— I just— I'm a person who lives like my feelings are on my sleeves, and I don't know how not to feel that way. Right. And I'm sure I'm not alone. And I'm sure if you're listening to this, you may be very much me. You're worried and thinking about all the people in your lives that matter to you, and you're worried, are they healthy? Um, are they safe? Are they okay? And I think that part of it is what has been stressing me out, and I am having to do a couple of things to help. One, and, and I say this to say that there these are things that I'm choosing to do now, even more so being more intentional with this. And I hope that these things might help you as well as we go throughout however long this process is. Number one, I am keeping it a matter of prayerful thought and prayer. So if you are a spiritual person and you're listening to this, prayer is one of those peaceful things that you can do to really pour out your heart, to share what you're feeling and what you're thinking. And it's so amazing because I do believe it's a beautiful privilege to have, and it's definitely been helpful for me. Number 2, even though we're isolated, we are not alone. As a woman who lives with chronic illness, I have felt this multiple times, not during an epidemic. Many times I have felt completely alone. Matter of fact, the very reason why I started this podcast was twofold. One, I didn't want to write blogs, and two, I really miss connecting with people. And so I started this podcast. And so one of the first things I did when I started to feel really overwhelmed was schedule like a calendar invite to all my friends in my local congregation, and I plan on doing this with just my friends in general around the world. And I started a— for my business, I created a free mastermind that's online. All of these things are done online through Zoom. They could be done on Google Hangouts, they can be done on Facebook Live, they can be done on so many different ways. We are so privileged at this time to have the ability to have technology keep us connected even though we cannot physically really be in the space of one another. That is an important thing that even though we are being isolated or you're socially distancing yourself from people, we don't have to do that emotionally or even physically in the sense of being able to see each other online through video. Even if it's not video, even if it's a phone call, I feel like we have gotten so tied to, you know, texting and video chatting that we forget that a phone call is just as powerful. We can hear and speak to one another, and it's really one of those times that even though we're going through all this, it's a time to kind of slow down and which most of us don't get to do, and reconnect with our friends and family and really be a source of comfort and just, just connect. And it's, and it's great. And number 3, and you guys know I like to keep things in threes. I don't know why. I think it's just, it keeps things simple and it keeps things less stressful. Number 3 is socially distancing myself from all of the news, right? I'm trying my best, which is really hard because if you have a business that's focused on small businesses online, you're online. So we're seeing all the news feeds, we're seeing all the posts, all the live pop-ups about what's updated and all that kind of stuff. And I am finding my way, and I'm not even going to say I have found my way because I feel like that is a complete sham if anyone says that they figured out how to do this like in a week of all this happening. But for me, I am focusing on limiting my time on the news information, like even limiting my time on my phone, which is really hard because I use my phone all the time for my work and just connecting with people. So I definitely encourage everyone to limit their time. So however that's going to be for you— for me, I'm trying to focus on, like, only looking at news, particular things in the morning and maybe one time in the evening. And that's really hard to do because my husband works from home, so he might send me a link or something that he's gotten at work. And it's hard. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I know that that will definitely be helpful. And On top of that, I think what I'm going to do soon is take like a whole day completely off of social media and all of the things, right? Especially starting next week. My husband's going to have a week off because of a change in his schedule. So I might even take a week off. And I want everybody to know that it's okay if there's any other time in your business to take a week off from marketing and, um, like all the branding aspects of your business, this is a good time to do it because we need mental health. I feel like during this time, positivity is the best thing we can focus on trying to keep because we can get really overwhelmed and stressed out by all this news. Here's the thing, we can't, we can't put ourselves in bubbles and be completely living our life, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, we can't walk around and be in a bubble and know for sure that we are not going to be affected by this. But what we can do is, one, take the advice from the local authorities like the CDC. Social distancing is what we're being told here in the United States, which is to stay Stay home as much as possible. If you're going to be out, be 6 feet away from people. Or if you're going to be out, if you need to, wear gloves. Or they're saying face masks are only for people who are sick, but for me, I feel more comfortable wearing one because I'm— I feel like I'm at higher risk. So whatever that might mean for you, currently, do those things to keep yourself safe. And then outside of that, we can't do anything else. So, you know, have some, you know, me time. Read a book, dance to some music, sing to some music, connect with friends. Don't do all the work things. Pick up a hobby or pick up— re-pick up a hobby. I was just looking at an Instagram post of a dear, amazing PR person, Danielle. She has a company called Tell Public Relations, I think, and her other business is about friendships for girlfriends, like how to maneuver friendships in the girlfriend world, like how to be a friend, what to say, what not to say, and that part of her business is called Give It a Rest. But she's picking up learning how to play the guitar right now during this time. And so what a great thing. So it made me think, oh, I need to pick up my crochet again. I was doing that so much before we moved from Florida to St. Pete, but from St. Pete back to Atlanta. And so I decided, oh yeah, next week that's what I'll probably do. I'll probably crochet a little. And I have this project in my garage that I've been meaning to do, which is refinishing a dresser, and that's probably what I'll do— some physical work that keeps me self-distancing. And it might be a fun project to do with my husband, who knows? But just trying to do other things besides like looking at the news and being freaked out. Keep your mind occupied with positive things, and it will help you cope with the things that are going on right now. So what am I doing for my business right now? I had already been focused on creating a course, and it's given me more time to do that, but it's been difficult because of me trying to focus. So I've been working on small pieces of things, and I'm working on one thing at a time, and I think that will help everyone. I think what happens sometimes when we get a whole bunch of time in our hands, we think, Oh, I can do all these things. So you have like this list and you're trying to do all these different things at the same time. And what that is causing is mental fatigue, is causing mental stress. And so I encourage you, and I'm doing the same, to focus on one thing at a time because currently we have the time, at least to the end of March, at least. And that's just being That's just being, like, not even generous, but like, I think it will be doing the social distancing thing for at least until the end of May. But whatever the case may be, focus on one thing. And once you complete that, that's a great, that's a great goal. That's a great thing. So manage your energy, manage your, your mental capability. Be positive. Focus more on setting up things or cleaning things up or creating systems. Reach out to your clients. I've done that. See how they're actually doing. Be flexible considering where the times we are. This is going to be changing and this is changing different people's financial situation where they are. Be nice. Be, um, considerate and empathetic and sympathetic and discerning, um, because things are changing, you guys. People are going through a lot right now. And so how you show up right now will make people remember you later, um, and how you treated them and how you made them feel. That's like the biggest thing I feel right now for your business is how you're showing up right now and how you're making people feel right now will matter later. So don't forget that. And yeah, those are my tips for right now. I don't really have much to talk about because there's a lot going on. I, for my business, I am doing a weekly mastermind called the Flourish Mastermind because I do believe that this too shall pass. We will have some hard times ahead of us, but how we choose to focus our energy and what we actually do will make all the difference for when all this is gone. When, like, when all this passes, this whole epidemic thing is gone, or the financial recession and all that stuff. How you deal with this now, how you implement different thinking and and steps for your business now will matter in 6, 7, or 12 months from now. Okay. I truly believe that. And so just keep that in mind. And self-care is so important right now. If that's your number one thing and your business is not, that's okay too. I feel like if self-care is taking care of yourself and removing yourself and you can do that financially, I say go for it. Show up. Tell your clients that you're going to take this time to do whatever it is you choose to do and that you'll follow back up with them in 2 or 3 weeks. I think people are just more understanding of that right now. I know there are a lot of people who listen to my show who are parents, and my heart goes out to you guys. I am— if you would love to hear or get a list of some things that you can keep the kids occupied with. I have one, um, that my husband sent to me. It's a great list for parents with kids, um, that helps them stay entertained and different things they can do, which are pretty cool. I think even adults can do— did you know that you can, um, do a virtual tour of a museum online? Had no idea that existed. This is on that list. So reach out to me in the comments or on Crafted to Thrive at, um, on Instagram or on Facebook, and I will definitely send you that list of amazing resources for parents, um, and all the kids, right? And so anyway, I want you guys to know that even though during this time it seems distressing and difficult We have the choice of how we view it, how we live through it, how we flourish through it. And being positive is a great way to help our health, um, and to help dealing with what's going on right now. So as always, and as I love to end the show, um, please leave a review, um, support your family, your local businesses the best that you can. And share this episode with a friend that might need some, just some real raw thoughts on what's going on and some tips that are practical to potentially help them cope better. Um, and thank you, thank you for the support, and please reach out if there's anything that I can do. And remember, you guys, we are, even though we're going through all this, we are crafted to thrive. We are literally physically, emotionally crafted to thrive. So keep that in mind.