How to Overcome Loneliness in Business with Chronic Illness with Kelsie Delisle

There are some flowers that I have made in the past and I'm like, I will never make this again. And then like years later I'll come back to it like no more and I'll try it and I'll be like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever made. Like why, why wouldn't I make delphiniums? Like, so yeah, it's just a little bit of time and trying and I've certainly had orders where customers are like, this is not like up to our standards and that's very humbling. And also the other thing is I try to stay in my lane, so that's why I don't do animals, and I don't do sea creatures. And these are all things that I've tried to do in the past, and it's like, okay, that's not— it takes me twice as long and it looks half as good. So a little bit of all of that.

Welcome to Craft It to Thrive, the globally ranked podcast for entrepreneurs living with chronic illness. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, and after being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses myself, I figured out the surprisingly simple missing links to growing a profitable business without compromising my health. Since then, I've helped dozens of women just like you learn how to do the same. If you're ready to own your story and create a thriving business that aligns with your health and well-being, you're in the right place. Together, we're shifting the narrative of what's possible for entrepreneurs with chronic illness. This is Crafted to Thrive. Are you currently doing something that you love and you feel like you're the only one doing it, or you feel like nobody really gets you and you haven't really found that many people who are like quote unquote in your lane as an entrepreneur? So you feel kind of like a fish out of water when you go to networking events or do different kinds of things. And not to mention, if you're living with chronic illness, nobody's really talking about that. So do you feel like that's another thing that gets in the way of you having, you know, your girl boss tribe, as we would say in the online world? Well, this episode is for you. I am so excited because our guest is Kelsey Diesel. She is an award-winning sugar artist. Artist who specializes in creating handcrafted sugar flowers for wedding cakes. She doesn't make the wedding cakes, y'all. She literally makes these amazing, beautiful sugar flowers with her hand. What I love about this journey and what you're going to hear in this episode is that this isn't something that a lot of people do, quote unquote, and only do. And she, Kelsey, will share with us how she found her tribe. We'll kind of workshop a little bit of how that came to be, as well as what has been huge motivating factor for her to find more self-compassion for herself through perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and at times feeling alone. She's going to share how her business has continued to grow as she continues to push herself outside of her comfort zone while doing exactly what she's good at. We talk about things from discounts, finding your tribe, self-compassion, competition to really just embracing who you are and loving that, this is the episode for you. If you've been feeling like, what am I doing?

Who are my people? And how can I thrive? Stay tuned. I am so excited to have Kelsey on the show.

I just clapped.

So if you heard the clap, that was my hands. To have Kelsey on the show. The reason why I'm so excited is because she does something I never even thought was a thing, and it's like the most beautiful thing ever. And it has to do with cake. You guys know I like to bake. So knowing that Kelsey is this wonderful artist that she's going to introduce herself as, can't wait for you guys to learn a little bit about her. So please tell us who you are, what you do, where you're from. Let's get into it.

Yes, thank you. That was a beautiful introduction. I'm Kelsey Delisle. I am the owner of Sugar Flowers by Kelsey Cakes. So I make flowers that go on wedding cakes, baby showers, birthday cakes, all the things. I just make the flowers so other people like Nikita Williams can do the baking, which is not my favorite part. So I love that I can just do the decorative artistic part and focus on that and combine it with other artists and makers who are good at the other parts of cake making. So I've been doing that since 2015, part-time and then full-time for the last 2 years. I live in Tampa, Florida with my husband and my toddler, and we're expecting our daughter at the end of the year. And so my life is just a lot of making things and watching Sesame Street and Um, you know, trying to stay cool in this ridiculous hot July weather. So that's what I'm doing right now.

Yeah, I— yeah, you know, I used to live in St. Pete, so—

oh yeah.

Um, I don't know though, we are in Atlanta and it's like hot breath, right? Exhaustion heat here. Like, I was just— we were in Florida a few weeks ago and I was like I can do this. I can do this ocean breeze coming through here. There is no breeze like that. It's just like hot breath hot.

Yes. Yeah. So St. Pete is nice because they have the breeze. I'm more like inland, so we don't get that. We just get like the oppressive humidity.

Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. And I grew up in Atlanta, so like it's very similar.

Yeah. Maybe that's why we didn't go to Tampa much. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, my mom lives in St. Pete, and she's so funny. She doesn't put air conditioning on. She just like leaves the windows open and like lets the breeze come in, and it's nice, but not in July.

Yeah, yeah, it's still a little— it's hot, and I mean, legitimately, it's hot. It just feels a different kind of heat. So anyway, that has a lot to do with sugar flowers for some reason, I feel like, because it does. The humidity, the Tampa heat right now, I could not imagine. Yeah, I'm like How challenging that is.

Like, I spend way too much time thinking about, like, is the air conditioner set right? Like, do I need to buy another dehumidifier? Like, how's the, like, ambient temperature inside? Like, yeah, it's definitely a thing. And like, I feel like it's worse this summer than it has been in the past. Either that or like my hormones make it feel worse. Like, one of the two.

It's probably a little bit of both.

Yeah, I think so.

Well, I would love for you to tell us, how did you get into selling sugar flowers? Not Sugar cookies, sugar, sugar cakes, but sugar flowers. Okay.

Yeah.

I just need to know, how did we get into that world?

And how—

let's start there. How did we get there? Okay.

So if we're going to start all the way at the beginning, when I was in elementary school, I would read those, like, Better Homes and Gardens and Family Fun and Martha Stewart magazines. And they'd have these cake designs. And I'd ask my mom to make them for me and she'd be like, I don't have time for this. So I started making them. And so that's how I got into like cakes and sweets and stuff. And my aunt gave me all of her old like Wilton cake decorating class supplies and lessons and stuff. So I started teaching myself and then I'd go to Michaels and I would get the 50% off coupon and like slowly like build up my collection. And so in high school, I bought a gum paste flower making kit. Which was like this booklet that was written in like the 1980s and like a bag of gum paste and then a bunch of cutters and like a rolling pin and stuff like that. So that's like where I started with the flowers. Wow. And then how I got into making them as like a job, I was working in a grocery store bakery. It was not creatively fulfilling. It was a lot of just, you know, like go fast. It's commercial. Like, you know, focus on your speed more than anything, but also make it look pretty. But also you have to use like exactly 60.4 ounces of icing per cake. And like, just not, not what I was wanting creatively. And then one day my manager was like complaining that he wanted to make this cake for his friend's wedding and he couldn't find decorations for it. And he was going to go on Etsy and buy sugar flowers. And I was like, I didn't even know that was a thing. And so I was like, I could do that. So I just started like doing it at home on the side after work. And I started an Etsy shop that year and it just sort of like snowballed. Like the more I did it, the more I liked it, the more sales I got. And then after my son was born, it was like, I don't have time to work a full-time job. And a business and have a baby. So I had to stop working my full-time job and now I just make sugar flowers all day.

I mean, what a story. What a story to be like, like this is like a craft that was like passed down to you that you didn't even realize was a thing that's now like the thing you do for work that you—

I know. And like, I never would have thought, like, I always thought in my head, like, I'm going to open a bakery one day, like, I'll be like at the hotel making the fancy wedding cakes. And like, that's not where it comes in.

So what was it about the flowers, like making flowers or just making like these decorations that was so fulfilling for you?

I think part of it was that it was easier for me to make the flowers than like the little sculptures, like the animals and stuff like that. Like I definitely think being easier for me was part of it. And then just like always kind of gravitating towards flowers in like other parts of my life. Like when we lived in Atlanta, I was very into like gardening and like planting roses and sunflowers and like all of those things the deer ended up eating anyway.

But yes, they do do that.

But I like That was always really fun for me. So it was like this combination of like interests that just sort of like built upon itself.

That is so cool. I think it's such a really good thought. I like to tell my clients like to think back sometimes when they're like in that stuck place or frustrated with whatever they're doing in their lives, like what comes easy to you, which is like, I feel like we get a lot of conflicting information about this. Like don't stay in your comfort zone and da da da da da, and I think there's like a seesaw experience with this, like a fine line you have to find with being in your comfort zone and still being able to grow outside of that comfort zone in the space that you like, right? So it's not like you— I guess the question I would have for you is like, when you are like, I love flowers and this is perfect and I do this perfectly, was it perfect? Or has this been like something you enjoyed but had to really put in the time to make it part, like to make it what it is today?

Yeah, it definitely was a lot of like time and trial and error. And like, I mean, part of it was also just like the naivety of doing something new and like being excited about it and being good at it. And like looking back now and seeing what I made 10 years ago, I'm just like, oh, I, I would not, I would not sell that now. But it's like I didn't know better back then because like I wasn't as good and like The industry is also kind of evolving along with me. So that's been really cool to see how, like, as my skills improve, other artists' skills improve, and like we're all growing together. And I took a lot of classes, I read a lot of books, I watched a lot of YouTube videos. And yeah, like there are some flowers that I have made in the past and I'm like, I will never make this again. And then like years later I'll come back to it., and I'll like know more and I'll try it. I'll be like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever made. Like, why, why wouldn't I make delphiniums? Like, and so yeah, it's just a little bit of time and trying. And I've certainly had orders where customers are like, this is not like up to our standards. And that's very humbling. And also, so yeah, the other thing is I try to stay in my lane, so that's why I don't do the animals and I don't do sea creatures. And these are all things that I've tried to do in the past and it's like, okay, that's not— I, it takes me twice as long and it looks half as good. So, yeah, a little bit of all of that.

Yeah. I love that you shared that because I think, like you said, like we were talking about, like you can gravitate to something that comes easier, more passionate to you and still have to get out of your comfort zone in order to do it. Like You know, you were telling me right before— I call it the green room— right before we were talking, like doing competitions, right? Like doing competitions. That's not necessarily something you probably would say is in your comfort zone.

No, not at all.

Right?

Exactly.

Right? Like it pushes you to do something that you may not have ever have done before.

Right.

Exactly. So I think it's like one of those things I like to tell folks all the time. I'm like, yeah, you can. Do what you love and like be really good at it and still learn and grow in that craft and beyond it by pushing yourself in other places. And I love that you're sharing that. And also like there is, there's an art to staying in your lane and still growing.

Yes, definitely. Because I think it makes you focus on going from like, I'm really good at this, to being like, I'm amazing at this, versus like trying to do more things outside of your niche and like being really good at all of them, but not like excelling, I guess.

Yeah. So this makes me like go back into the thought about like mindset when it comes to this kind of a business. It's so niche. Like when, when did, like, when was I, I can't even remember. It was something, was it Babe Crafted you came to me through? And I was doing like a I was doing like a thing on chronic illness and growing your business, like how to find ease doing that. And when you booked a call with me, I was like, sugar flowers? Does she mean like cakes and sugar flowers? I've not— as many times as I've been around the baking world, nothing dawned on me that you could literally just buy sugar flowers. When we got on the call with each other, I was like, oh my gosh, I can order them for like cupcakes. And on my pound cakes, like, all my brain was like, oh my goodness, I don't have that skill of knowing how to make beautiful flowers out of sugar. No, I don't know how to do that. I admire people on all of the shows like Is It Cake? And be like, oh my gosh, wow, that's amazing. So what has been the mindset challenge around starting a business that's so niche and also just with your own, you know, health and life challenges?

Like, there's definitely been a lot of challenges, and I'd say the majority of them are all like in my head because I am a perfectionist. So that has, I think, slowed down a lot of my growth. Probably not a bad thing to do, but just thinking like, this isn't good enough, this isn't like, yeah, Food Network challenge worthy, so I can't put it out there. And just And being so niche is like a blessing and a curse because it's hard to, like, I guess, find my support group. Like, for the longest time, I felt very, like, alone in what I was doing because there's other Etsy sellers I tried to, like, connect with. But, like, it's very different, like, if you sell crochet or crochet patterns versus sugar flowers. But then in the cake world, I was, like, kind of adjacent to that. And so I've kind of just had to be like less, I guess, picky about who I'm like connecting with business-wise because it's like, yes, it's a very specific niche in what I do, but then the business challenges are still like what we all deal with.

Yeah.

So like even if I'm talking to a wedding planner or I met with someone the other day who did She helped international businesses create wholesale accounts in the US and like, that's very different from what I do, but like we were still able to talk about like our different challenges and like work-life balance and all that stuff. And so like finally realizing even if my business was really niche, that didn't mean I couldn't find support or community. That was like mind-blowing.

Yeah.

Because yeah, it was like I felt like I was on an island and like the other sugar flower sellers online, like I felt like I was either the only one who was just doing sugar flowers and not doing cakes, or I was the only one doing it like as customized as I was doing it because there's also like wholesalers and like mass-produced factory flowers and stuff like that, which is definitely an option because it's like more cost-effective for people, but that's not what I'm doing, right? So yeah, it's just like trying to figure out my place while still like not completely isolating myself, I guess. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I took— no, it totally, totally does, and I'm about to tell you why. As for me, it's the same thing. I have experienced like anytime I tell people like Yeah, I'm a coach. I work with a lot of people. Like, half of my clients are not women who technically identify living with chronic illness. But that's who I speak to in my marketing is those who live with chronic illness. And I have been told many times, like, that's such a small niche, and I can't believe you do that, and la da da da da da. And this is a whole complete— I often, especially years ago, started feeling like I am the only one doing this. Like, how do I make this make sense? And how do I find, quote unquote, my community. And one of the things that has helped me, and I'm wondering if this has been something you found in your own journey, is like, I realized that it was more about what my values were, which is who made my community, right? So the things that I was really— things that really mattered to me, like customer, you know, satisfaction, like customer loyalty, like really community, like stories, and how really connecting to each other from a, like, more than like, hey, what do you do thing, but more like, who are you? And embracing who we are was a really important piece to me. And that's who I usually would attract or find and connect to. And they became my posse. They're not just all coaches that— literally, there are no coaches that I know that specifically work with women with chronic illness, except there are more now. But when I first started this journey, there really wasn't. And so are you finding that more— identifying more to your core values of who you are has helped you to kind of like not feel so alone or be so alone in this journey?

I never thought about it like that, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is.

Yeah. Yeah.

Because I think I joined BabeCrafted this summer finally. Um, because I was like, I went to a couple events and, you know, do the virtual events, and I was like, you know what, like this is a good group of people. And yeah, I do feel like we have similar values, and just a sense of community feels very welcoming. And I think also because it is so many different kind of business owners, it made me feel more like welcomed than if it was just like only wedding people or only makers. Like, it's a little bit of everything. And then I also went to a conference at the beginning of the year that was put on by photographers, but they invited like all creative business owners. And I think that was the first time I realized like, oh, like I am part of this group. Like I am a creative business owner. Like, you know, we all have the same, not the same story, but you know, the same connections and stuff like that. And like, so that was the first time I realized like Okay, I can find my people, and it doesn't— like, I was the only sugar flower artist there. I think there was one other baker there, and then everybody else was a photographer or a jewelry maker or a calligrapher, and it's— but we all, you know, connected, and it was awesome.

I mean, first of all, I think that's awesome for you to go to a conference and you're like, I'm the only one who makes sugar flowers, so you can't forget about me, right? Yeah, that's awesome.

Right?

I think that's pretty, pretty cool. But I also think to your point, like creatives very much so, we definitely have a very unique set of reference when it comes to like business. And it's not just about like making money, right? Growing at this huge scale in a lot of different ways. It has a lot to do with like how we work, what we do when we're working, and we really enjoy it. And that's a really important piece to us. And we're also hypercritical and perfect, you know, like perfectionists of ourselves. So being around other people who are like, no, but you're really great, it's like, oh, these are other perfectionists, they think I'm really great, oh, wonderful, right?

Exactly. And then I can say like, no, you're really great. Wait a second, we're both great.

Okay, yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, so let's, let's shift gears a little bit. So you've been doing this for like over 7 years, like, like as a business, right?

Yes, I think almost 8 years now.

Oh wow.

It's hard to say exactly because I like opened my Etsy shop in April of 2015, but I didn't list anything or sell anything, so I feel like that doesn't count yet. But that's the only like official like date point I have is April 2015. But yeah, 7, 8 years.

Okay, you're like me. I know everyone's like, how long? I'm like, well, I was doing digital marketing before I was coaching, but technically my clients felt like I was coaching them then, so I don't really, you know, I say around that time frame as as well. So what has been changed— like, what has changed in your life, in your business, in the 7 years of like doing what you do?

Everything. Like, when I first started, I was working at a grocery store. I had just moved to Tampa full-time, so I was still like— I don't know, I felt like I was not really an adult yet, even though I was. I would, you know, I had graduated from college and moved out and lived on my own and had my own job and all of the adult things, but I didn't like feel that way. And like a lot of job changes and life changes since then, like definitely don't always feel like an adult now, but now I can like point to the proof, you know, that I run my own business. I have a kid, I have a husband, I have a house. Like, these things that adults have, you know, checkmarks, right? Like, I file my own taxes, I have an accountant. Like, that makes me an adult. Like, that counts.

So funny how we are like that.

I know. So like, when I was, yeah, working at the grocery store and like just starting I was still very, I don't know, I guess self-conscious and felt very, I guess, small in what I was doing. Like, it wasn't— it was just this thing on the side. And I had a business degree, but I felt like it didn't count because I was just doing it part-time. And, and I wasn't So I wasn't happy at my job, and I like switched jobs a lot, and I had a lot of really terrible bosses. That is just like a whole— I mean, that could be a whole other podcast, but yeah, like just going through all of those transitions and then finding a job that I loved and like bosses who treated me like family and actually encouraged me to keep growing my business while I worked for them was like definitely a game changer because it kind of, I guess, validated what I was doing and that it mattered. And like that they were these really incredible talented bakers and they loved what I was doing. And like, that was huge. And then like, I guess, yeah, it would've been 2 years ago after my son was born. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety and I found out I had ADHD and I was like learning all of this mental health stuff that I kind of ignored for my whole life. And like, I think like that was more of a game changer in my business than I realized because there was so much going on that I was either ignoring or pushing aside that I was putting energy into instead of like owning that I was a business owner and feeling confident and like putting myself out there like that. So that has been a huge shift.

Yeah. Do you feel like now that you've— well, do you feel like you've accepted that these are all like parts of you and that in their own ways they have like helped you to thrive, like just like live and get through things like maybe differently than you would have thought about yourself before?

I do think so. And it's definitely taken me a while to like get to this point because like for a while there I was just kind of in survival mode. But now I can kind of look at it a little more holistically and be like, okay, so my brain's a little different than I thought it was, but that's not a bad thing. And my therapist and I talk a lot about self-compassion.

So, so important.

Yes. And I didn't even realize, like, it wasn't something I was missing, I guess. Um, so like learning about it and like building up that skill has been really helpful to like stop wasting energy, like beating myself up and being a perfectionist. Like, I'm still a perfectionist, but I'm a lot less like intense about it now.

Yeah, that's such a good point. I find for myself, and like you're sharing, that self-compassion piece is such a muscle that we haven't learned, and the society that we live in doesn't teach us. And especially as women, we're not taught this level of how do we not do all the things, and some things fall through the cracks. And some of those things are us, right? Some of the things we experience are us. And then we beat ourselves up for those things. And so when we have that self— self-compassion, it's so powerful in our lives that we can finally see, oh, this is totally human of me. Duh. Duh. Exactly. Makes sense, right?

Yeah.

And I wonder, do you feel like the years that led to this have been the reason why you've been able to heal?

Probably. Like, I don't know. Yeah, that's another thing I hadn't thought about that way, but I mean, yeah, like I don't, I think I would've been okay, or I would've thought that I would've been okay just coasting along.

Mm-hmm.

But I needed that extra, I guess, responsibility or pressure or whatever it was to say like, this isn't a sustainable. —like, way to live.

Well, I mean, you said it. And this is the thing that I realize myself and the same thing I talk to other folks about. I'm like, we don't realize how being, like, not self-compassionate is so much heavier, like, energy-wise, like, spoon-taking-wise than, like, you know, I don't know, like, for you, like, you know, someone saying, I don't like the flowers. Like, that hurts your heart, right? Like, that hurts your heart. But then at the same time, you go back and you beat yourself up some more. That's a lot of weight. That's a lot of energy that takes away from, OK, I'm human. I need to improve. That's OK because that's what's human about me is that I need to improve. And it doesn't mean that— I'm not making this mean so much about me. And not getting to a place like where you are now, and I think where a lot of us either want to be or currently getting to of being like, Yeah, that sucked, but I'm okay. Like, I'm okay, and I don't have to make that mean that I'm all of these other things that I think I might be. Yes. Yeah, exactly.

And I think, yeah, I can remember times, you know, in the beginning where I would get a bad customer that didn't like what I was doing or was just like really demanding and rude or whatever, and it would just like put me out of commission for like a week. Like, you know, I would just wouldn't want to do anything except sit on the couch and play video games. Like, let me just ignore my real life because it's too hard. And now that happens and it's like, well, let me vent about it for a little bit and then I'll move on because like, that's their problem, that's not my problem.

Love that, love that. And it's because you've given yourself that self-compassion, you can do that, right?

Like, I can finally see, like, this isn't about me. Like, I am okay with what happened. Like, I don't have to second-guess, like, every decision that I made leading up to it because, like, that's so much energy.

So much. It's so much energy. And then we get stuck in that and we literally don't do anything. We, like, are, like, in quicksand. Like, that's what it feels like. It's like quicksand. You just kind of keep sinking and sinking because you keep fighting. With you and them, and they're not even there anymore. And it's like, I'm in the sand. It's over. You know what I'm saying? So I love that you've kind of come to that. And I never think it's 100%. We all have our moments when we go back to the quicksand and we're like sinking. But I think, do you feel like it's less now because of embracing this journey? You've been doing this for a while now.

Yes, I do think it is a lot better now. And like, I don't feel this like gut wrench every time someone says, no thank you, you're too expensive. You know, like that in the beginning I'd be like, oh, well, how can I, how can I lower the price for you?

Like, I want you to like me.

And then I'm like, okay, well, this is not like, this isn't meant to be, so I'm gonna focus on the next thing. I wanted to tell you something, Kelsey.

You're like my clients right now, and people that I've talked to are probably like Did Nikita script this for me? But like, I promise I didn't. I don't— we don't script this. This is all real. Like, we have all been like— there's a question I like to ask my clients who always like tend to discount or think it means something about them when it comes to their pricing. Like, why do you feel that you— like, why do you feel compelled or like, like compelled to discount your offer or your services? Without— and this happens sometimes without even people asking, right? Like, you're like, oh, you just assume, like, right, oh, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna discount this for you. Like, before you even get to that place, have you been there before?

Yeah, like, I'll see the— like, I have a spreadsheet that helps me calculate the pricing, and I'll get to the end and I'll see the number, and I'll be like, oh no, that's not right, I must have done something wrong, that's too high.

That's legit. Seriously.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So then I have to like step back from it and it's like, like I can't look at it anymore because then I want to just change it. So I have to like come back to it later and say, okay, this is why this makes sense. It's going to take me 3 weeks to do it.

And that's a lot of work. I love that you just gave that work through to like, there's a reason why it's this cost. Exactly. Yeah.

And like sometimes I forget that because I enjoy doing it and I'm good at it. But it's like, no, this is still work though.

Yes, yes. This whole little section right here is going to be like in a highlight. Like, this is what we all need to hear often. So I love that you shared that. Thank you so much for sharing that. So what have been some inspiring things for you in your life to do what you do? Who are some people or what are some things? I mean, I feel like inspiration is everywhere and that sounds really corny. No, it's totally not.

It's every creative's like, a lot of creatives feel this way. Yeah, you're totally right. Yeah. Where do I get the inspiration? Like, I mean, I could say working with, um, Marie and Carlos who own the bakery I worked at have been huge inspirations because I've watched them build their bakery from the ground up and see how incredibly talented they are and hardworking they are. And it just like. Inspires me to work really hard. And like, it's been cool to like watch each other grow as artists together. And even— gosh, there's just like so many. Like, like even like watching other artists online that I don't know personally has been really cool to be like, holy cow, like I remember like ordering something from you like 4 years ago and now like your prices are tripled and it's incredible. And I'm like saving up to buy from you again. And like, yeah, that's been really inspiring. Just, I mean, it's, it's like every person I meet that owns a business, I'm just like, how do you do it?

Yeah, right. Like, how are you a unicorn like me? Exactly. What? Yeah, I think people have— a lot of people We get into entrepreneurship sometimes thinking, oh, it's easy. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, there are parts that are easier because we enjoy them, right? Man, it is not easy to stay in it for more than a year. Like, literally, like, if we do the statistics, like, most businesses don't make it past the first 6 months. So the fact that you've been doing this, even whether it's part-time or full-time, for like over 7 years is wildly successful and impressive, especially going through like the life hurdles and the postpartum and all those different kind of things. Like, it's not a sad thing. Like, we should have anniversary parties for our own businesses, just like we do for like, you know, marriage.

Yeah, yeah, right. I see other people do it, you know, they get the cake and they get the big number balloons, and I'm just like, oh, that's so fun for them. And I like, like, wait a second, why don't I do that? Like, yeah.

Yeah, celebration is such a big thing. Yeah.

And like a year ago almost, I relaunched my website. I hired a branding designer and I like took a copywriting course and rewrote everything and like changed everything. And so I'm like, this deserves like, like an anniversary something. So I don't know what I'm gonna do yet, but it's at the end of August and I'm like I threw a like little livestream party last year when I launched the website. So I'm like, maybe I'll do that again, or I'll do like a giveaway or something. I don't know. But it's just like either— I don't know if it's because that date's more recent in my mind or because it's like an actual like date that I remember. But that anniversary feels like very like pertinent to me and I want to celebrate it as opposed to like, yeah, sometime in October I made my first sale, I think. Yeah.

When you like, I guess maybe more fully embodied the business. I feel like I did the same thing when I did my rebrand from like whatever Nikita did by herself on Canva to like hiring someone to do something. I was like, this is real. You know, it's so funny how we have to like certain things mark like quote unquote realness for us, right? So interesting. Even though literally, Kelsey, you've been a flower designer since you were 5.

Like, exactly. Yeah. Like, really?

So anyway, tell us, for anyone who's listening, who's like maybe dealing with frustration or exhaustion in their business being like the only niche or trying to figure out like how to bring their story and their passion to a profitable business, like what would be 3 things of advice you would give them?

Ooh, okay. So I would definitely say talk to other business owners. And after talking to you, I would add that share your values and philosophies because that definitely is a game changer. And like, I still can't believe I never put those two things together, but like, obviously that's, that's what it was because yeah, like talking to other business owners isn't, that's not necessarily gonna like fill your cup or like help you. Mm-hmm. But talking to people who like value the same things you do, like, that is going to help. And like, it doesn't have to be in your niche. And then at the same time, like, you do meet someone who's in your niche or adjacent to it and you connect with them, like, don't be afraid to reach out. Because I was also really afraid of like talking to competitors the longest time, but now I'm like This is ridiculous.

Like, why do you feel like it's ridiculous? Now I got to dig into this for a second. Like, why do you feel like it's ridiculous that you like try to avoid competitors?

Because I think for the longest time I felt like I could do it better and talking to them was going to like take away my sales and it was going to negatively impact my business and customers were going to go to them instead of me. But now I'm like, let's be realistic here. There's certain styles that I don't do well. There's certain like flowers that I just don't like making. There's, I mean, a million other things. Plus also I just don't have time to make everybody's flowers. So if someone else can do it, like I should absolutely be like meeting other people who do this so that I can refer out to them when I'm not available. And like back in the day, that was like so foreign to me. Like, no, I could never, I'll just. Work twice as many hours, you know.

That is such a— I feel like that thought process though is such a, like, a masculine thought, like a very masculine, like, you know, back in the day I was watching— what was I watching? Dr. Quinn, you know, that's a long time ago. And like competition back then was like, right, oh my gosh. And it's like, do you need competition, right, to learn? And it pushes you in such a good way. And then you can refer to each other because, like you said, you can't do all the things. But I definitely think that is from a very— what are they say— patriarchal, or just a masculine mindset around like business that we as females have taken on into like the business world of being like, yeah, yeah, competent. I'm like, literally all my coaches are people who do in some way, shape, or form what I do, right?

Like, yeah, absolutely. Like, I'm not trying to be like the Rockefellers or whatever and like take over the world. Like, I just I, you know, want to do what I love, and if other people want to do that too, like, yeah, I should encourage that instead of not. And like, yeah, people used to ask me like, how do you do what you do? And I'm like, I can't give you my secrets. But like, there's no secret. It's just like working really hard and practicing. And, you know, like, there's, there's no— I don't have a secret sauce that I am afraid to give away.

I love that. Your secret sauce though, honestly, everyone's secret sauce is their own story. You can't— you literally can't give that away. You can tell it, but nobody you can like go back through your life and be you. Like, there's—

exactly right. So yeah, yes, exactly. Like, I can teach you how to make sugar flowers, but you're not gonna be— yeah, the baker slash gardener who like decided to make sugar flowers and like has type 1 diabetes but like doesn't eat sugar. Like, that whole— nobody else has that story. Nobody has that.

Yeah, yeah. So awesome. Okay, so you said find your people, basically their values. Number 2, like, don't be afraid of competitors, lean into them, you know. Yes.

Number 3 would be, I don't know, something about self-compassion. Figure it out, like, learn it, practice that muscle. Um, yes, like, I feel like that's, that's always what it comes down to. Like, the more, like, the deeper I go into it, it's like, oh, this is This is a self-compassion thing, isn't it? Like, it's always what it is. So like, even when it's really hard or I'm in a slow season of business, like, it is a lot easier now to say that doesn't mean I'm a bad person or a bad entrepreneur or a bad artist because things are not ideal right now. And so that gives me like the space to to figure it out or to take a break instead of, yeah, working myself into the ground.

That's such a good one. Those 3 are like awesome. I love all 3 of those.

Thank you. So good. They're all good.

She's like, girl, I just came up with that. But yes, I love that. So now someone's listening to this and thinking, oh my gosh, sugar flowers. One, where can we find where Kelsey does her sugar flowers? And could I do this? Like, how do I get into this? Like, If they are bakers, I honestly, I love flowers. Like, I think I would just do it for fun. Like, just from that aspect. I'm one of those people who like to draw and all of the stuff. And whenever I draw, it's flowers.

Don't ask me to draw people.

Don't ask me to draw animals. They're going to look like stick— Right. —figurations or something. Right. Flowers I can do. If they want to, like, step into this very un— like, it feels like very strange world where you don't want to make cake, but you want to make flowers. How do they do that?

How do they do that? Yeah, so I suggest if you can take a class in person, that's my first like recommendation, just because the in-person classes I've taken, you get that immediate feedback, which is really great. And also it's just really cool to take classes with other people who are at the same or similar levels as you and like see I took a really intensive, like, 2-day class one time. It was like 10 hours a day. And it was just really cool. It was intense. But it was like really cool to see all of us at the beginning be all like, I'm sorry, we're gonna make what? And then at the end, like, we all lined up our roses and they looked amazing together. And it was just so cool to have that experience and like encourage each other and watch each other. But I also know that in-person classes are expensive and hard to come by. So I still recommend books and YouTube. There's so many free lessons out there, and then there's also paid tutorials and things. So I say go with whatever your level of interest and financial ability is, because I've done both and they're both helpful. I'm starting to sell tutorials. Um, oh, oh, I don't even know about this, y'all.

Like, oh.

It's very new. I have one baby breath tutorial. It's— there's another imposter syndrome thing going on because I'm not a cinematographer, I'm not a videographer. I can make flowers, but I am like, I'm doing this on my iPhone.

So it's— I almost like take movies at these points now. I know. I'm sure it's fine.

Just gotta put it up on the link. Exactly. Yeah. So I've got them on my website and I'm like slowly adding them and I'm I'm trying to focus more on the quality of what I'm saying versus how they look. So, you know, there's my disclaimer. I love that you're saying it and talking about it anyway.

That's a huge, big, like, leap of faith of being like, hey, yeah, I'm doing this thing that I'm really scared and really not comfortable with anyone seeing it, but I'm doing it anyway. I love that you're doing that.

Yeah. Well, I also have to shout you out because when I talked to you last I was complaining about how editing videos was like a big obstacle for me, and you were just like, what if you just didn't edit them? And I'm like, what do you mean? So I'm like, okay, let's go for it. Let's just hit record and see what happens. And I think, I think in my first one, I even like— my husband interrupted me at one point, and I was like, we're still recording. So I love it.

Yeah, I'm a huge believer in like it will always look and start messy, and in the growth it will turn into this beautiful peonies flower that is in the wild that looks amazing. You're like, oh my gosh, I don't know how I would have not seen this flower. It looked like a hot mess a couple of days ago, and now it's gorgeous. Like, you know, so I'm definitely a component of like, if it's— make it easy. Let it be easy is my phrase. Let it be easy.

Yes, absolutely. And that's kind of how it is with making the flowers too. Like, they're not going to look great when you make them at first and just know that and know they will get better. Like, I still have days where I'm like, what did I just make? I got to start over. That's crazy.

In a way.

Yeah. Oh my goodness. Like, someone will ask me about some flower that's like trending or something and I'll be like, I have never even heard of this. Like, let me Google it. Like, what the heck is this? And then I spend a day just playing with it, and eventually it either looks really good or I email them back and say, can we do something else?

I love that. I love that there's play in your work like that.

Yes.

Oh yeah, fun just to do it for fun.

It is no pressure, and it's just like, yeah, I can, that's okay, right? Yeah, like there's definitely days where I have like a full production schedule and I'm just like, oh, like again, another rose. But then, but then I'll try to, yeah, make something just for fun. Like this cake back here, I made that for me. Like, that wasn't an order. It was just, I had this design in my head and I was like, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna see if I can make it. And yeah, just doing that made me more motivated, more inspired, more excited to like keep going. So definitely recommend just playing around with it some days.

Yeah, I love that you just shared that too, because some of my clients get so stuck, and I'm sure you've experienced this too, like in your business, and you're doing the monotony of your business, this thing you care about, but you don't do anything that— you really did this because you enjoy it, you— it's fun. It doesn't— you lose the funness of it when you're like always in the business brain. So I tell my clients to take times where they're like not taking any business, or they're is just for fun, because that is the thing that you need to fill you, your soul, and then the rest of your business grows from there, right? And I think that's pretty cool that that's just a fun-looking—

yes, yeah, behind you, right? Yeah. And that's honestly kind of what the competitions are for me too. Like, it's just an excuse to do something for me, like, and also try to put myself out there because I know I'm getting feedback for it, but Mainly it's like, how can I challenge myself? How can I get out of my comfort zone? Like, how can I do something cool and different that I'm proud of? And then, yeah, I can't even think about the, like, judging part of the competitions because then I'm just like, I can't do it.

Yeah, so one— well, two more questions. One question What has been your most easy and profitable marketing strategy for selling your sugar flowers?

Oh, that's a good question. Easy and profitable. Definitely not advertising. That's easy but not profitable. Honestly, I feel like it's just Well, I say just, but like doing a lot of different flowers, taking pictures of them and putting them all over the internet. Yeah, like Pinterest, Instagram, Etsy, my blog, you know, cakedecor.com, like just sharing it everywhere and like putting it out there because that's, you know, the pictures kind of speak for themselves. Yes. So that is probably in the grand scheme of things the easiest. I will say, like, taking product photos is not easy by itself, but again, iPhones are amazing. You can buy a backdrop, you can use Lightroom.

Portrait mode is like ridiculous. Yes.

Oh my gosh, the first time I discovered that, I was like, what have I been doing this whole time? Like, yeah, I have a DSLR camera. I haven't touched it in years. Honestly. Like, I'm not a professional photographer, and shout out to everyone who is because that thing— they're amazing— something else. But yeah, portrait mode, it gets the job done. And then I've got my professional photographs from my brand photographer for like my website and everything. But when I'm just making a flower and I snap a quick picture of it, like, I just gotta put on the internet so people can see it.

Yeah, I love that. There's many reasons why I love that, but I'll talk about that in a solo episode about, about why I love that. Well, tell us how everyone can find you. I so appreciate having you on the show and you coming to share your story and your journey. How can we love on you online? Well, thank you.

I'm very glad to be here and that we got to have this conversation. Um, my website is kelseycakes.com, and all of my Social handles are Kelsey Cakes. Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter that I don't post on, but it's there. I think my TikTok is Sugar Flowers by Casey because Kelsey Cakes is taken, but everything else is Kelsey Cakes. Email me, kelsey@kelseycakes.com. Also Kelsey Cakes on YouTube. That kind of makes it easy.

So, um, go to her website and find all of her links.

All of the links are at all of my socials. My blog is there, my shop is there. I do custom orders. I also have ready-to-ship flowers on my shop so you can do last-minute orders. And yeah, you can find me there.

That's awesome. And of course, y'all have all of her links where you can find her in the show notes. And thank you again. Thank you so much. Yes, thank you.

It's good to, good to talk.

That's a wrap, y'all. Thanks for tuning in to Crafted to Thrive, the podcast that helps entrepreneurs with chronic illness to thrive and build a holistic business and life. Check out our website at craftedittothrive.com for this episode's show notes and all the gifts and goodies. Connect with me on Instagram @thrive_with_nikita for more tips and behind the scenes and more. Tag me to share what you loved about this episode, and I'll feature you on an upcoming episode. So until next time, remember, yes, you are crafted to thrive.