How to Use Creativity to Find Hope & Healing After Loss with Roxanne Glaser

Welcome back to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast. I'm excited that you're here. If you are a new listener, welcome! Say hello, reach out to me on Instagram and say, hey girl, what's up? Um, send me a DM. I'm always there. I'd love to hear if you've been a longtime listener or did a friend refer you. I love connecting with you all. And if you've been here for a while, thank you. The show wouldn't be here and existing if it weren't for you, so thank you. Before I hop into talking about this amazing guest, Roxanne Glazier, I want to remind you that you can always connect with me on our website at craftedtothrive.com for the podcast. And you can also leave me voice notes about different things that you may have thought of when you listen to this episode or other episodes or any questions you want answered specifically. And I'd love to answer that for you. All right. So why am I so excited about this episode? I say that probably about every episode, honestly. But Roxanne and I met at an online Creative Spark Summit, and if you've been around, you've heard me talk about it, but I will put a link of it in the show notes so you can take a look at it. They're having another one coming up at the end of this year in 2022, so be sure to stay tuned for that. But me and Roxanne just really jived on the connection of how creativity really can help you grow and process grief, um, while rebuilding your life. And in so many different ways is Roxanne's story really around grief. And grief looks different for everyone. And this is something I talk about in the show with Roxanne, that whether it's the loss of someone you love, whether it's a loss of an ability to do something because of a chronic illness or a life that you thought you would have, it can feel challenging, right? It can feel like, I shouldn't feel this way. We have all these, like, things around what we do about grief, and we're going to talk about how Roxanne used creativity to an extent to really help her through this process. And so I think you're going to enjoy it. She is just a wonderful person. She really has used art to touched the hearts and minds of young and old by being an instructor and teacher on lettering and creativity at different kid workshops and camps and retreats for different universities. She is just a teacher and a storyteller and just a real person who has experienced creativity through the good and the bad times and how we can use creativity to really help us heal and grow. And so we're going to talk about how we can use creativity and what grief looks like, or what it can look like, so we can remove the stigma of what grief could look like, um, and just the different steps of actions that really helped her build that resilience that we all are cultivating in every day of our lives. One reason why you might want to stick around is because she has some amazing quotes. Two of them I'm going to share with you, but you'll just have to stay tuned to listen to it all. One of them is that she helps people find their cup to fill their cup.

Mm, mm, mm, mm.

She going to talk about how she does that.

And she talks about intentions.

And I'm very—

and like, intentions is a very important thing to me.

But I love this quote so much because I think we all need to embrace this mindset or this way of intentions.

And it's, she encourages herself to hold her intentions of the day with open hands. So we'll talk a little bit more about that in this episode, so stay tuned. You're listening to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast, and this is your host Nikita Williams. On this show, we're talking about what it's like to start, grow, and scale a business while living with chronic illness. You will hear from other creatives and CEOs as they share their stories and the lessons that led them to learn to lean more into what works for them. You'll discover that success does not mean perfection, and fear, negative thoughts, and challenges are all a part of the journey, but there's always an abundance of wins. So stay tuned and you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to craft a life and business that thrives.

I am so excited to have Roxanne on the show. Welcome to She's Crafted to Thrive. Welcome. Please tell us a little bit about you, where you're from, what you love to do.

Well, Nikita, first off, thank you for having me on your podcast. I'm very excited about this. So I'm Roxanne Glaser and I live in Waco, Texas. But online you'll find me as Super Doodle Girl, which as my story unfolds, you will discover. I'll share that that's my superpower is doodling. As simple as it seems, it's got serious, serious superpowers in it. So yeah, so I work in marketing and learning for a tech company, but I also do workshops that where I help people get unstuck using simple creative tools. So I do that as Super Doodle Girl. I do in-person and virtual workshops.

I love that.

And yes, super doodling, like doodling is a thing. I love it. I also love that you're from Waco. Because I've never been, but we all know about it because of Chip and Joanna. But I am most intrigued about how you got into doodling. So please tell us how you came to this place in life where doodling is a superpower. Like, we want to hear about it.

Yes. Well, okay. Before I hop to that, one little tidbit of trivia I forgot I always drop about Waco, Texas, is it is also the home of Dr Pepper. So if you ever visit, you're going to visit the silos, of course, and Chip and Joanna, all of that. But we also have the Dr Pepper Museum. So anytime I would do sessions, one of my jobs, I would teach through video conferencing to kids all over the US and, you know, and some in Canada, Australia. They were always very fond. They were like, what? I'm like, yes, that's where Dr Pepper is. So now how I got to I think I've always had that superpower of doodling. It's always been my superpower, but I'll get to how I really unpacked it and started using it these last 5 or 6 years. The first time I discovered it, it was not, it was not celebrated, Nikita. I'm going to tell you, because in first grade we had, and I've shared this story before, of we had back when I was in school, coloring sheets were the, that was the art form. We didn't have art teachers in school, but we would have coloring sheets and it was very very important to color a certain way, a certain aesthetic to your coloring. And I particularly remember it was a Cal worksheet and I colored it purple, and my mother got a call that, oh my goodness, uh, I was not coloring properly. And so, you know, being a certain type of creative child, I tried other things of like not coloring it purple and coloring the background with orange polka dots. And, you know, I'm just trying to work the aesthetic because I'm like, oh, well, this might be So yeah, so nope. I learned to color within the lines in first and second grade to be like, because I'm also was, you know, I wanted to be a good student. So but then I just, it always kept bubbling out. I would doodle on. We used to cover our books with paper book covers and I would doodle on those. I would doodle on the sides of my paper. I would get in trouble for that. Then I would write backwards and upside down on my notes. So I was, always doing that. And now it's a thing. It's called sketchnoting. I'm like, hello, yes, you can draw to help you learn content. And so that was, that was really cool. I did a session on that a couple years ago for the Distance Learning Conference of how to use drawing with your curriculum. It's amazing because drawing is our first language. You know, we— anyone who has kids, been around kids, you've seen how they love to draw on the walls, on the couch, everything. So it showed up in a young age. So now have you had experience with, uh, I just find that fascinating.

I don't think it's so interesting to me when I have people on the show and they're like, I'm like, I guess that is so true. Drawing is like literally the first thing that we do. I mean, it's a, yeah, it's a big deal. That's a big deal. That's such an interesting fact.

Well, and it's so interesting because it is one of our first ways, uh, expression that we are creating ourselves. And we do it, and you watch children will do it just exuberantly until around 9, 10, 11 when they become self-aware and then they want it to look realistic. And so many times there's no instruction. And so then they start, that narrative develops of, I can't draw.

Yeah.

And then it's reinforced. And I work with a lot of adults now who are kind of unwinding that narrative. And they will tell me they all have an origin story of, when the moment they learn that.

Yeah. And it— and I think we, we, when we were in our, um, we had a live on Instagram together with, um, uh, Kimberly for the Creative Spark Summit. And that was when we were talking about like everyone has a trigger or a moment in time, like an origin story, like you were mentioning, of when someone said you weren't good enough or this is not how you should do something. And then that has triggered all of this critical thinking about how we view ourselves, how we view our art and all of those different things. So I'm fascinated to see how does that— how has that affected when you're teaching? Because I know you do a lot of teaching around creativity. How hard is that for like adults to like break into like being more free? From that thought?

It is, it is very difficult because I am standing there, a real person, and I'm telling them once. And they have an entire lifetime of conversation with themselves in the conversation that has happened since that, you know, that moment in time where they heard from— many times it is from like an when I say authority, it could be just a trusted adult in their life who made a comment. And sometimes it can be just an offhand of like, right. Oh, is that the best you can do? Or maybe you're, you know, maybe your talents are better over here, you know, and even trying to redirect. So that's one of the things I'm very careful in. Careful. I try to be very empathetic and very kind. And one of the things we do in my Journal Jumpstart workshop is we work on self-talk. What's another way we could say that? That gives space for the growth mindset.

Right. Right.

Because that is so powerful too, because your mind, you know, you, you really can't tell, like, your mind, the story your mind tells you can be so real. So if you can rewire it, reword it, rework it.

So yeah, that is such a, that's such an interesting, and we could go like a whole conversation just on that thought.

I got sidetracked. I was like, so this is what happened, you know. And then I do have the last 6 years that's kind of interesting of what happened there. But yeah, it's powerful. And like you said, the adults that I work with in my workshops, face-to-face and virtual, it's when they see they can do it. Mm-hmm. It is, it is, it's like seeing Christmas through a child's eyes. Mm. And you know, the magic and that when they're so excited, or if it's their birthday, whatever special event that a child sees or experiences, sometimes bubbles, whatever that, that pure joy. I have seen that in adults when they create something. And my Journal Jumpstart ladies have been so proud. They have been taking their little journals with them and they tell me the stories. They're like, my husband started seeing it. My best friend started seeing it because they are like, it's like show and tell every day for them. They're like, look what I did. And then when they show it and they're proud and people are like, oh my gosh, you did that? And they're like, yes. And then they start to own being creative.

Yeah, I love that story.

And I so get— I had this experience, so we're going to get back on topic, I promise. Um, I was walking out of a HomeGoods store, which is one of my favorite places to shop. Okay, like, get in trouble, seriously. Roxanne's like, yes, that's me too. Um, and there was this woman, and I don't know what the relationship was, but it was a woman and young girl, and she had a young. She couldn't have been more than like 7, like, and she was walking with a walker and she had a prosthesis and it was raining that day. And so I was walking outside behind them and there was a puddle. And the magic, like you were talking about when you were talking about like how kids, the excitement in her eyes over jumping in a puddle was like, like I just stood there and watched it because it was just so infectious to see how like it was so much fun for her to jump in a puddle in the middle of the rain. And it helped me think, like, you know, as we get— as become adults, thinking to do that, we have all these other layers of things that are getting in the way, and how that actually in a lot of ways puts us in that fixed mindset versus that growth and like wanting to experience and being curious and just having fun sometimes. And I was just like, it was just— it's still— it's still present for me. Just imagining her and seeing her do that in my head.

Oh, that is beautiful. And so that connects— I'll connect back to the journey because that is, you know, as I kind of grew up being a creative person but not owning it because I couldn't draw realistically. I could draw other ways, but it wasn't— I never owned that it was my style. So I kind of did other things in life. I taught school, I've, you know, taught all kinds of different things. Teaching is my thing. So I teach a lot of different, you know, I taught teachers to be teachers. I've taught all kinds of things like that and just kind of going through. And then I'd work in drawing with it, like the old school before there were— we used to do like hand-drawn signs before workshops, you know, and I would always be— I'd volunteer to do that. Anytime there was a group that needed a recorder, I would do that. And so it just kind of was floating, not just kind of floating through, not really noticing. And then in 2015, uh, my husband passed away after a long illness and that— thank you. That was— it really changed me in ways that I didn't know. Like I kind of expected to be sad just because culture norms, you know, I'd be sad and, you know, I'd never been through it before on someone that close to me. And, you know, because other people had died and I had been sad, but this profound grief was very different. And so my body hurt so much and I started feeling kind of stuck. And then the depression kind of came and then the grief and it was just a lot. And so I end up and I kind of have a sense of humor about it now, but There were days where I'm like, I would just lay on the floor and look at the ceiling fan. I'd be like, oh my gosh, you know, I can remember driving to the store, forgetting why I drove to the store and then being enraged seeing a cute little couple, a little man and a little lady holding hands, walking into the store and just being mad and driving home. Like I had all of this just stuff. And at the time I was not really well connected to others. I just kind of isolated myself and was like, What am I going to do? And I honestly didn't know. It was just a dark time. I didn't have many tools to access to help me. I just, I didn't know what to do. And so then little things showed up. I went to this camp called Lucky Star Art Camp and met this amazing group of women that I was just, it was 6, 6 weeks after my husband passed away. So I didn't say much, didn't connect with people, but just kind of sat in love. Like I could feel this energy. And so I was just kind of like, I'm Roxanne, not okay. Didn't really tell my story much, just kind of sat. Uh, I started practicing yoga and then in the spring I took a hand lettering class. So I started doing that in the evenings and I was like, and if you scroll all the way back on my Instagram, you'll see that's exactly when I started. I started sharing on it. It's terrible. Terrible, like ugly, ugly, ugly. And I don't know what I was thinking, but I was like, hey, I'm doing something. I'm going to tell people. I don't know why. I have no idea why, but I did.

Hey, you were, you were just experiencing it and, you know, getting through life at that time. It's okay.

It was the, yeah, I was still kind of like, I kind of was like standing up again and it was in, in May. 8 months after my husband passed away, it was about this time. I'm going to get a little choked up here. Uh, my youngest sister passed away Memorial Day weekend, 6 years ago. And it hit me so hard. It took me back, not where I had been when my husband passed away, but I think it took me back further to where I was in this profound stuckness and I was so stuck. I couldn't really do any work on myself. I could only like go through the motions.

Yeah.

If that is like, you know, some days I'm like, I could barely get out of bed, you know, and forget to eat. Profound. And so what got me through that summer was softball. We'd go to softball games and I would be like, okay, I can get up and I can do that. And then I would doodle in the evenings. I would practice those letters. And then I was like, I needed something else. So then I went to, um, uh, found a program called GriefShare and I went through it. Uh, found an amazing counselor. Um, found some great like medication. So I'm not going to say doodling is the superpower to solve all your problems. Please do not do. I always have asterisk asterisk.

No, it is not the only thing.

Exactly. Exactly. I'm like, there's a lot. It's one little quiver in the You know, one of my tools. But yeah, so I just, I kept doing things and the, what I started discovering was the, what helped me heal so much was that kind of mindfulness and breath.

Yeah.

Which I found in my yoga practice, which I found when I was practicing my lettering, which I then found in my doodling.

Yeah.

In creating art. And so then I just kept doing stuff. I just kept— my little quote was like, get up, get dressed, show up, whatever that one is about just showing up, you know, just, just you got to get up and do the next thing. And I just kept repeating it. And now I'm talking to you. Oh my goodness.

Well, that is— there are so many things with that. I mean, first and foremost, the the— those are two very close, like closer than close, you know, relationships. And then for them to happen so consecutively, I can't even imagine. Um, so I just want to, you know, give my heart and condolences for you. And I'm glad that you didn't give up because some, some do, you know. Um, I'm glad that you continued to hold on even though it felt like Maybe impossible. Yeah, just holding on. I, I think when I think about times like this, even for other people who have experienced this, I think of a cat on a tree limb just like barely holding on, like, I'm still holding on, waiting for the firefighter to come save me. So yeah, I am— that's a lot. But I do love how your mindset was, you know, I'm not going to give up. I'm just going to keep— I'm going to be there even though I have no idea what I'm going to— I have nothing to say. I'm just here. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And that was, that was actually, I went through the formal GriefShare program is 14 weeks. And the first time I went through it, um, with my dear friend, my now dear friend, Gail, we met sitting on the corner in GriefShare crying and eating chocolate. That's literally all we could do for 14 weeks. And that's what we say about just the first step really is just to show up. And when we say show up, it is not about all makeup and all prettied up and Instagram-ready showing up. It is like off the floor, show up. Yeah, I think that's the same thing when I find now in the art that I create, in the workshops I lead. It is you start doing the work, you start doing the thing, and then you know what starts to happen? Then the other stuff will follow. It's kind of like that research of like, if you can, what is it? Like how if you can, even if you don't feel it all the way through, like a smile on your face can like change you, change your mindset. I'm not talking like toxic positivity kind of stuff. Like I'm like, cause you know, sometimes everything's not going to be all right for a while.

Right. And some, some negative things are actually positive in themselves because they help you get to where you need to go, right? Um, I'm learning a lot about positive psychology, you know, in my field of mindset, and it's like, like you said, there is— there's grit in positivity, you know. There's a little bit of work that also has to happen with a little bit of pain. Like, you know, like a little bit of pain can help you find some grit and make some like grow in a way that you never would have if you just kind of always stayed in the happy zone and never dealt with things, you know.

Well, and Nikita, that's interesting, you like to tag on to that, because at the time in 2015, 2016, in my dark— and I call them the darkest of dark, um, you know, I couldn't see reason or purpose. I was just like, God, I just— the pain would not stop. And then now what has really become apparent probably the last 6 to 8 months in the work that I'm doing now is that all of that pain has helped me now be able to help others, like, find their cup to fill their cup. Because sometimes we can't find our cup, right? Because we're like, I don't even know how to start. And so I think that, that dark and hard journey has— it's it builds, built some resilience and definitely has it. Like I said, it broke me open in new ways to be kind of reassembled, like Transformer style. How's that? Yeah. Like it broke me apart and like kind of put it back together and it's something that it didn't look like before. Yeah.

So I'm going to ask you a question because this is a common question that I get asked oftentimes because when I share my story, people are like, How did you? And I'm like, I don't know. I just did. I know for me, faith is a huge part of it. But the other part of it was, to me, it came down to a choice. Do I just give up and this be my life forever? Or do I choose to, like, take the smallest action possible to get to not be in this state of mind for the rest of my life? And so my question to you is like, I find that if now that we're retrospective, like now that we can look back, right? Like, what do you feel like was the thing during the grief that said, you know what, even if I just show up, I don't have to say anything. I don't have any pressure or anything. I'm just going to show up. What, what do you think led you to that moment?

You know, that's, that's a great question. And I think it's a combination of what you just kind of set up in that question. Because one of my favorites when things are really, really tough, because you know that the scripture of, you know, praise him in all, you know, it's easy when things are going good to be like, oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. But when things are tough, you're like, I tend to be more like, huh?

Really?

I don't know. Yeah, I think we all are in that dark time. I happened to read one of I can't even remember the name. It was one of Anne Lamott's books. And she has— she said there really are just 3 prayers. And one is help me and one is thank you and one is wow. And so at a time when I didn't have acts and I just felt so kind of even angry at God, you know, and the anger's there and I didn't know what. So my prayer I would do, I would listen to that Mandisa song, Broken Hallelujah. I would put that on repeat so I'd have some of that. And I would say the Lord's Prayer a lot. And then I would just be like, help me. And then I started to train. It wasn't easy. I'm not saying this was like a light switch of like, hey, I got this.

It's not easy. It's like scraping mud.

Yeah.

I started to look for little Little things. I'm going to say little things, little signals, or— because there would be these little things that I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting that I would run into that person on that aisle of the grocery store and I never buy anything on that aisle, you know. So that things like that, that would happen. Or I'd be like, well, this is kind of interesting that I would be having this. And so that's once I started to be able to notice, you know, and that was, uh, that was part of it. And I can remember, I like that idea of like the smallest thing of like, I ask, um, my boss's wife had, uh, her best friend had passed away. Like, I don't want to say 5 years before Reiki. And I was like, after I felt like I just wasn't getting any better, I was like, How did you do this? This is hard. What did you do? And here's how— this is when the signals are coming to you because she researched the GriefShare. She was like, this is the program I went through. It was wonderful. And I found one that starts next week at the church around the corner from your house. Here's all the information. Here's the lady you call and tell her you're coming and I'll check on you to make sure you did, you know. And so I started to notice those little signals. And like I said, I also had the Post-it of get up.

Yes. Yeah.

So it was, yeah, little thing and structural things too. Like I, um, I would take my granddaughter to school because that was something that I had to do that morning because I was working from home. So it would be easy for me just to, okay, we'll start at 10. No, I had to be up, pick her up at 7:30. And so that was kind of like the— it's like a chain of like, if you do this thing, then you do this thing, and you hook those things together that you want, and it will pull you through the day.

Yeah, no, it makes total sense.

It's a— in what my community, they joke with me all the time, but I will say all the time, do what you can when you can, and that will look different every single day. But what happens over a period of time you look back and you're like, wow, I did a lot and I got to a different place mindset-wise, just thinking-wise, just having that thought, that intentional thought of I'm going to do something makes all the difference.

You know what? That was one of my notes as I was thinking through, you know, topics or just kind of thinking a little retrospectively. One of the things that I I do now, that has kind of evolved out of that practice. And this is from a dear friend of mine, and he and I have lots of conversations about moving through the day. And we talk about, you can set your intentions in the morning for the day, but then we joke, we're like, and you hold your day in open hands in front of you and not in clenched fists trying to protect and hold on to that thing. And I think that that visual for me of those holding it lightly.

Yes.

And then you can— I don't know, there's just some beauty in that. So it's almost— and I don't know why I visualize like even like a bird to take flight of when it's time, it's time. But yeah, I'm trying. I'm much better about that. I used to try to micromanage every little bit, you know, and before Ricky passed away, I thought I could control and, you know, the world revolved around me and I could work hard enough and care enough and love enough to to make everything perfect. That, that is one of the things that I was delighted to be able to leave behind from the Brokenness. I was like, yeah, I, I know better what's my responsibility and what others are, and kind of that learning where those boundaries are.

Yeah.

Well, I thank you for going in that little side venture there, a little bit deeper into that thought, because I know my community, a lot of women have experienced grief I had an opportunity to talk to a woman about grief, about grief looks different. Grief looks different for everyone. Grief is different. We can experience grief from a job loss. We can experience grief from, you know, obviously people that we love that pass away. But we can also experience grief of a life that could have been. And for a lot of women who live with chronic illness, and I would imagine there's a whole lot of other grief even within that one particular moment that changed something. That you're grieving. Right. And so I really wanted to have that conversation because I do think that affects how we view where we're going, what we're doing as we heal.

Definitely.

And the— there's—

the more I learn about grief, man, the more I— this— I enjoy talking about it because so many people don't.

Yeah.

And I love to share my story because there was so much— I was caught off guard. I thought something— I thought I was losing my mind. It's like, what is going on? And then this last, the most recent grief that I've been going through was my sweet Blackie, age 22, little black cat that was originally my husband's, passed away in February. And You know, Nikita, this is, this is where I could tell. I'm like, from the work I've done and just being in a different place of— I knew the end was coming, you know, and I worked so hard. Like every morning we would have coffee and he would sit on my lap for meditation. And so, and then the last day of his life, when I knew I would have to take him, I asked for help. You know, and that was very different from when I was isolated thinking I had to do everything on my own.

Yeah.

And the other part of learning your voice. And so as we go into the vet and I take him in this little carrier and they're like, take your time. Do you know what I did? When someone tells me something, I'm—

you're—

I'm going to assume you mean what you say.

That you mean it. Yes.

Because there's so many times where you're like, oh, I don't want to be a burden.

I don't—

I'm like, no, if someone says that, I'm going to take you, you know, It's on you to speak truth to me.

Yeah.

And if those words coming, and I sat with him with the, my yoga music, with our breath, and just was able to say goodbye to him. And so if anyone listening, because sometimes people will say the loss of a pet, they'll kind of discount it. No, there is a wonderful book called The Handbook for Pet Loss or Pet Loss Handbook. And It's so good. I bought the one for dealing with grief when you, when humans die, your loved ones. So I have the one for pets and the one for people and it is, it's fantastic. And so to acknowledge it and to walk with it, it is.

Yeah.

Sorry. Look, that's my last one. I was like, I can talk about Blackie and he's in, he's in the recorded videos for my Journal Jumpstart class. So all my ladies who take take the class, and it's been all ladies so far, they will see his little paw on the edge of the paper as we're working. And you'll see me— and after he passed, I was still editing some videos, so he will forever be in that course because you'll see me going, shh, Blackie, Blackie, Blackie. So, you know, it is, um, that's an openness that I would not have had, you know, before I experienced such intense grief. You know, I would see people would say, oh, my pet died, or And now if I see someone that is experiencing any type of loss, like you said, I do my best to try to reach out and, uh, you know, just to say, I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah.

Well, to make things a little lighter now, um, I know we kind of really went there, but I just feel like, like you said, it's a conversation that we don't hear often and it's a conversation that I feel like has a lot of stigmas attached to it of how it should be and how it should look. So I'm glad that we were able to hopefully, if you guys are listening to this, feel seen and heard and understood. And you know, that's always my goal. So for you in this, in this transition of life, how did Super Doodle Girl come into the world? Like, obviously you were doing this as a healing, but How did it turn into a business thing?

Okay. Her origin story is she started out as a kind of just on a whim for a conference. We were doing a presentation and the conference theme was superheroes. And so I was doing a sketchnoting presentation. And so I did a sketchnote of, drew myself in a little cape and said I was Super Doodle Girl. That was my superpower. And so at the time, this was years and years ago. And so I got the, it was old blog, the old Blogger Blogspot thing, and it was Super Doodle Girl. So I had that for like ever and put it away, forgot about it. And so then when I started, uh, just sharing my work on Instagram, I was like, oh, I should be Super Doodle Girl. I— no research, no, like, is this an easy name to say? What colors? What brand? Just on a whim was like, oh, I can get it on Instagram, on Facebook, and I can buy the domain. Boom, that's me.

That's fine.

And so I just started without a plan. So I started and then I was like, I started doing free coloring sheets that I would share each month, whatever I was creating. A lot of them are hand lettering or mandalas I was doing. And so I started sharing and then I, let's see, the year after Brandy passed away, I was doing a lot of hand lettering. And I created a coloring book. And so I published it and it was a collection of all of the quotes that had gotten me through that year. And so that one's called Embrace Your Journey, which, and that is that in all things, you know, give thanks, whatever your journey is. So you are where you are. And so whatever the next thing is. And so the whole book kind of honors that. And so I was like, oh, I'll do a coloring book. So I did that. And, you know, I don't really love making coloring books, but I did one and held that one, that one. It took me forever to figure out how to do it, but I was like, oh, so I did that. And so then I did, when the pandemic hit, I was like, how could I, you know, help people? And I was all alone and, you know, didn't live with Blackie here, you know? So I was like, didn't have like the bubble or anything. So I was like, oh, I started creating mandala coloring sheets and I would send to my mailing list and then I would get that echo back. You know, when you put things into the universe and the universe like sends the signal back. So both with both the coloring books, I have a Mindful Mandalas and the Embrace Your Journey. I get such beautiful stories back of how it, how people use it. They're like, oh, I use this. I would sit and color while I waited for my husband to come out of surgery. Oh, we went with my friend who was having chemo and we would color with her. Oh, we got my parents out of the assisted living. They're living with us. We color in the evenings. So all of these Just things started happening and then I just kept doing stuff and sharing. And a friend of mine, I ended up teaching at Lucky Star, the art camp, through a whole story of a teacher couldn't come and then the first substitute teacher couldn't come. And then I ended up being the third substitute. And now I've taught every year, like for the past 6 years, 7 years I teach at camp. So I started teaching there. And I realize I, I've always loved to teach. I've been an accidental teacher, and now I love to teach people how to, like I said, use simple creative tools and techniques to get unstuck. And what we've been finding is finding your path to you, to that little girl who likes to color cows purple. I think she's like— there's a little kid in all of us that at one point saw joy, just like jumping in a puddle of water. There was something when we were kids that created such joy in us. And sometimes through life, we lose connection with that. And so that's my mission now. And I, like I said, I've just did the online journal jumpstart. And it is a, it was going to be a little class, ended up being like an 8-week class. Like it's a long one. Everything's recorded, but you end up creating a whole journal. And you learn skills and you apply them. So you end up discovering your word for the year or your mantra word. So yes, I just honestly, Nikita, I just kept doing stuff and people would ask me and I would say yes. And half the time I wouldn't know what I was going to do. And so I would just figure it out and show up with a lot of enthusiasm. What I lacked in, you know, if I didn't have the, you know, I don't know if like I believe, like I listened to a lot of Seth Godin and he's like, there's not talent. There's just like you show up and you show up and you show up with whatever you have to share.

Yeah.

And I kept doing that and saying yes. And then, so that's kind of where I am now. I'm like, whatever comes along. So now I look at it through the lens of, does it help me help others?

Yeah. I love that. I love that. And I love that it's like, I had half the time, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm just doing it. And it seems to be going great. I love it.

And I think you—

I think what's so interesting about that statement is because now that I've been in like your universe and I was listening to your one of your presentations in the Creative Spark Summit, I was like, oh, I was like, oh, that makes so much sense. I'm like, we think that we don't know, but we totally know. Like, we don't just like— we just in our, in our mind, our conscious mind are saying, I don't know. But in our subconscious mind, likely it's like, I know exactly what I need to do. Like, it's a no-brainer, but we don't—

we need—

we don't always acknowledge it coming full circle.

You know, I'm going to tag on to that one with— I— a friend of mine gave me a book called The Creator in You. And so basically it's that story of, you know, of on the seventh day, you know, basically God created us to create. And so I think there is this innate wisdom within us. And the way I've started to look at it is, is people ask me to do things, and like, is that just part of a way of getting me to look for that inside, or maybe to have that kind of emerge in some way? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But that's a way to kind of frame— I'm like, oh, well, I didn't think I could do that, but someone's asking me. I think I could do that. So let's explore. Maybe.

Maybe, maybe, maybe yes, maybe no, but I'm going to find out.

So I try to hold that because my immediate response is— I have a colleague and he will tell you so many times where he'll ask, he's like, because I do some website development, he'll be like, well, can we do this, this, and this? And immediately I'm like, no, it won't do that. And then, you know what happens 2 weeks later? I'm like, hey, I figured out how to do that.

Yes.

So anytime I have a hard, immediate no, he's kind of like, sure, we'll see.

Okay, so you have your hands in a lot of different things. Like, you have Super Doodle Girl, you do teaching and other, like, presentations and graphic design, web design. Like, how do you find, like, harmony without, like, losing your mind with your hands in all of the buckets?

That, that is the question that I probably thought about the most as I was like, oh, how, what, what is that that kind of comes together? And I think what it is, is I really set my intention for the day like we talked about. I love to walk and I love to hike. And I use those times. I used to use it for like my physical fitness kind of thing of like, oh, I'm going to, you know, I'm gonna go exercise.

Yeah.

You know, get my heartbeat up. Yeah.

Do my thing. And now I use that as reflection or thinking or processing time. So that's one of the things is I like to kind of double dip into that. So that's one of the things that I do. And then I also, this sounds, I heard this from so many people and I was like, really? Really? And now look, I'm like doing it. I started meditating daily when the pandemic hit. And so I have my kind of morning ritual is a 15-minute meditation and I use my gratitude journal. So that kind of helps set me up. And one of my in progress learning skills is I really am learning to that discernment. Cause you know, as I said about people ask me to do things and now, you know, people, I get asked to do a lot of things because I can do a lot of things. So when you're known as that kind of person, those women can though.

Right?

Yes.

It's like, oh, a woman who can do. Yeah.

Yeah.

So you get asked to do a lot of things. And so what I've started to and working on is to sit with it a bit and not say yes immediately and not say no immediately to where I'm like, okay, Okay, does this. And then it also gives me practice in saying no, because that's another thing that I used to say yes to everything and then work myself into a little, a little tizzy, a little snit of like doing all the things. And it was just, it, it did not work. And so I really watch for that. If I'm, if it can't, oh, I can't remember who said that about the whole body. Yes. Have you heard that?

That, you know, that whole body?

Yeah, yeah, that is definitely one too. If I'm like, well, if I move this around enough, I move this around, and if, you know, we have a full moon and everything lines up, then I can do— say, that's no, not to do that. So yeah, that. And then I also have— am blessed with like several different sets of friends that I gather with. I've got my mahjong set that we love, some mahjong. We've got, you know, other groups that we gather for just good food and fellowship. So yeah, so adding in those like intentional gatherings so that— because it's easy to work nonstop, because I'm into everything I say yes to, I'm very interested in. And so it would be easy to sit on the computer all the time or on social media or this or that. And the other thing I'm starting to do too is like, what's the— not what do I get out of it, but is it a good investment in where I want to be?

Yes.

The life I want to create. Or is it just busyness for busyness? And one of the things that I quit doing was I quit really caring what my Instagram feed looks like. I use it now. This is terrible. So like marketing people don't listen to what I'm just like. I like to just use it for my daily practice. I do a daily— I'm doing the 100-day challenge. I just like to do— it's not beautiful.. But I like to— it's accountability for me. And then other people who are kind of like in my community, they see me and they're like, oh, that's really cool. I, you know, that helps keep me motivated. And so that to me is the alignment of why I'm doing— I'm not doing it for everyone in the world. I'm doing it for me and for the, for kind of that, that group, that, that circle of influence type. Yeah.

Yeah. Your sphere.

Yeah.

Influence. I love everything you just said because it's literally like I have a framework that I teach women specifically on this, what we're talking about right now. Like, it's like, it's like so on point. And I love that you didn't just— you shared like what it looks like. And so one of the things that I talk about often with clients is like finding what is your whole body yes? Where does that come from? To me, that comes from value. Like, what is important to you? What is— why are you here? What are your gifts? What are they meant to be, and that serves as a filter for all of the other things that you decide to do in your life. And how you're sharing that, it's just like, yeah, I mean, I love to do a lot of different things, but I'm gonna sit with it to make sure. And my, my, my clients all the time, they're like, Nikita is not going to say yes right away. She's just not. She's going to think about it and come back to you. And to me, that's a way that helps you not burn out, not feel like exhausted by what you love, because you can love something and and like turn away from it because of saying yes to things that never should have been in the yes bucket, right?

Oh my gosh. Okay. I am like so curious about the framework now because that, yes, that you get to teach people because this is like, these are skills that I have now that I did not have. You know, these are ones that I've just, I didn't have a Nikita teaching me. I was kind of just running into a wall here and I'm like, okay, that did not work.

Back up.

Okay. That kind of space comes with that. So what is your— like, when you're trying to— how do you keep balance?

For me, it's— I always go back to purpose and values. Like, it's— to me, it's a very— it's a very organic process, right? Like, purpose and values, those shift depending on where you are in your life and what's going on, I think. But I always feel like there's really, like, pillars there. There's always pillars there that will probably be there for the rest of your life because of who you are, like, just who you innately are. And I find, like creativity, women specifically have been taught that— how do I say this in the way that I like to say it? Women have been taught that their intuition and the things that are important to them can be pushed aside. And so they need to make decisions based on everything else and then them. And that leads to them trying all of the things that were never things that you need to to spend time trying because they are not in your values house. They're not in your purpose house. And so I believe that curiosity comes from when you see something that hits at one of those values that are core to you, that you're like, oh, I want to know more about that. It doesn't put you in a box, but it directs your, your, your path in life a lot easier when you're like, this connects with me because of this. I want to see more. Versus, well, someone told me, or the, the, the world around us has said I should and I'm going to, and tapping, like, removing that and tapping into, okay, what is me? I call it the real you. Like, what is the real you?

Oh, that is beautiful, because that, for the longest time I grew up and developed a narrative about myself that I know now was not true. Yeah, you know, and so I shared part of it was, you know, I couldn't draw. Another one is that there were people close to me that don't value introversion, are very extroverted, and I was a very quiet and a very shy child. And so someone who doesn't know or understand me was like judgy of like, well, you just, you know, you do— I value— and this is the other person— it's like, well, I value friends and relationships more because, you know, I'm just extroverted that way. I'm like, welcome to here. May I introduce you to an introvert who— what we love are really deep, interesting, significant conversations, you know. And I was like, it really is about how you recharge your energy, you know. So anyway, but what I've You know, so as I've this journey from the dark, like the darkness, and then we had the pandemic. So I've got the before. So all of that through that, what I have continued to evolve into, because the other thing with my lettering, when I started doing that, they talked me into becoming a member of the Calligraphy Guild, which sounds super fancy, right? And I'm not a calligrapher. I'm not a calligrapher at all. And luckily our guild is very open to all lettering styles. So I love our Guild, but I was like, as a member of that, then, and I would take these classes with these amazing calligraphers. Well, I started to develop the narrative like I'm not creative because I can't do copperplate. And I, and I realize now I'm like, hey, guess what? Uh, I haven't been trained and I don't want to practice. So there's a reason I don't have that skill. And so now what I realized is I like to draw crooked, out of scale, out of balance letters, and I love it. It delights me. It's my mud puddle that I love to jump in and just flail about. And so now I'm like, that's me. You know, I am a kind of a loud introvert. I will talk a lot, but I do like to be by myself and I draw crooked letters and crazy drawings and I love it. Yeah, just enjoy just playing on the page.

I love it. I love it. I love that you shared that. If someone wants to doodle, like someone wants to like really unleash their inner doodle, how would they get started? One, I recommend you get her course. Like she's really cool stuff on her website. So definitely check the show notes for all of that jazz because it's amazing. But where would they need to get started?

You know where they would need to get started is um, look around for a crayon, chalk stick, any writing utensil and paper if you're going to go analog. If you have iPad and Procreate, do that. I start with like just our actual warm-ups. Every class I teach, we start by drawing circles or straight lines, and then immediately I say circle-ish because people will be like, oh, but it's not a beautiful circle. I'm like, no, no, no, no, kind of a just making marks on page.

Yeah.

And so that's what I do is we play with that. And I'll say, if you just start making marks, and that's how we warm up, we'll do circles for about a minute. We'll make big ones, we'll make little ones, we'll have them connect, we'll do lines, and we just start exploring. And that first part can be hard. I have worked with students who, uh, one of them was a certain type of pen. That I had provided. Had no idea. It's one of my favorites. This student had had a bad experience in a handwriting class as a young child in a very stern learning environment and had never been able to draw the letter O, you know, correctly enough. So, I mean, there will be these things. So that's why I, in I, when I teach, you would be like, do you really teach doodling? I was like, I teach, I think Nikita Williams Williams, this is why I think I resonate with you. Cause I'm like, I teach mindset around doodling because yeah, we do a lot of, I have seen people hold their breath. I'm like, but one of my favorites in this is I'm going to hold this up on the screen, but I do love just a little composition book. They're not expensive. So I do recommend people that are getting started, Papermate Flair pens and cheap composition notebook. It's not expensive. So you're not— so it will help lower the precious threshold. Because if you go out and you buy $40 markers and a $50 journal, the stakes are too high for you to play. You're gonna be like, Oh no. And I have seen people, they're like, oh, oh no, no, no, no, no, this needs to be beautiful. And I'm like, well, we'll get there, but we've got to start with just getting stuff on. Okay. So that's my number one thing is start with, you know, whatever you have or just get something and start playing. So that is, that's one of my favorites. I do. I've shared on Let's see, was it a couple of years ago? I did the 100-day, for the 100-day challenge. I wrote the Lord's Prayer 100 different ways. Like literally it's lettered 100 different ways, 100 days in a row. And one of my favorite things was I had a little tiny, uh, little tiny sketchbook. It was maybe 3 by 5 and I would keep it in the pocket of my softball camp chair with a pencil. And so you will see, and if you look back in the, on the, on Instagram, you'll see some of those were my favorite. Little doodles because I didn't have a whole bunch of choice of tools. I had a pencil. I might have had a marker too, a Paper Mate Flair, and I had that notebook. So the other thing that we do, especially Journal Jumpstart is definitely this way, is limiting your tools. So don't go buy 200 markers.

And I am that person. I am that person. I am so the person like I decided I wanted to get into watercolor, and I went to Hobby Lobby and lost my mind. I bought all of this stuff, and it does give you like that, like, oh no, which one should I use feeling. All the brushes.

It is. And that's what— when I put together the— I put together a tool guide, and there are some artists or doodle people who will put together and they're like, oh, here are 800 different things you need to get started. Well, there is paralysis of choice.

Yes.

So many times I'm like, here's my go-to. And so that's what I put in my, my guide. I don't have, I have maybe 3 different types of journals that I love. I've got 3 different fineliners. I don't have a whole bunch of things because you'll grow into that. You don't need me to like, hey, here's another shiny object. She said, hey, I'm working against that because I know, because I have worked with ladies, because my, uh, in And my cousin Missy, if she listens to this, she knows I made Journal Jumpstart for her because she was like, she thinks that what she would say is that hoarding craft supplies was her, that's her, not you. She was like, oh, I like to hoard them. And you know, we do that. And I think it's a way of, you know, we talk about like you show up and you do the work. I think it's a way women, and I'm going to say women, I don't know, people can procrastinate. In search of the perfect tool.

Yes, that's so true.

And the story they tell themselves is like, oh, I'm going to— I want to do this well. I want to do it right. So I'm going to get this. And so you're just kicking the can from doing the work.

Yeah. Yeah.

Because people ask all the time, they're like, how do you get so much? I'm like, because I really don't care what it ends up looking like. It ends up looking pretty cool, but I don't start out with that. I'm like, I just sit down and do the work. Work. I'll send you like a little show note there. Yeah. Um, but yeah, you get started and you'll, you'll be amazed at what shows up on your page.

I love that advice so much. And also because I am probably like— was it your cousin or your, your cousin? Yeah, I'm like your cousin. And like, if you open up a closet in my office, there is so many hobby things. I go between each one trying to decide which one I'm gonna do. And I'm totally the person who will buy all of the things for that hobby and try it for a while and be like, uh, I think I don't like that and go on to the next one.

I—

that's just me. It's hilarious. My husband's like, so what are you learning this year?

That is me. Oh my God. I finally had to have a serious talk with myself because there I had fabric, everything for the fabric dyeing. I had everything for the tile mosaics. Oh, I was going to knit. I was going to crochet. I was, you know, every possible. And finally I was like, hey, you know what I really like to do? Draw with markers. I did keep a few acrylic paints, but that, that's my thing now. I'm like, I love working in a sketchbook. I like it to be portable so I can just take my little stuff. And because what I found, oh my gosh, because I, I think, yeah, for a while I just loved shopping and making sure I got the best supplies and all the supplies. I'm like, oh, shiny, shiny. Yes.

Well, thank you so much for being on the show. I think I think there are so many things in this episode. We didn't even get to all the things I wanted to talk about, but I feel like this was such a, like, a real conversation about life and creativity in such a beautiful way and honoring where you may be, or if you're listening to this, how you may have felt in the process of getting to where you are or trying to get to where you need to be, you know, where you feel like you want to be. So thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story and your your love for what you do.

It was definitely my pleasure, and I loved the conversation.

How can we find you?

You can find me online. My website is superdoodlegirl.com, and then on Instagram, I am Super Doodle Girl, and you can also find me on Facebook. So yeah, all of those. And right now I'm at day 92 in my 100 Days of Joyful Doodles. Doodles. So I'm doing little 3x5s there, and I think I might keep going after 100 because pretty good. I like it.

Now don't judge the flowers, but, uh, she likes it and that's all that matters.

Okay.

That's all that matters.

There was one I was like, uh, flower-ish. We'll just say flower-ish.

Yeah.

So I'm Super Doodle Girl online. So you can find me there.

All right, y'all. That's a wrap. Thank you for listening.

And I hope this conversation inspired you.

Be sure to visit craftedtothrive.com to check out our show notes, connect with our guests, and grab some of those goodies. Join us for the next episode. And in the meantime, remember, yes, yes, yes, you are crafted to thrive.