(Series) How to Grow Your A Creative Business While Living With Chronic Illness- Why Hustle Cultu...

You're listening to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast, and this is your host Nikita Williams. On this show, we're talking about what it's like to start, grow, and scale a business while living with chronic illness. You will hear from other creatives and CEOs as they share their stories and the lessons that led them to learn to lean more into what works for them. You'll discover that success does not mean perfection, and fear, negative thoughts, and challenges are all a part of the journey, but there's always an abundance of wins. So stay tuned and you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to craft a life and business that thrives. Hey there, beautiful. I've got something for you. If you want to feel more ease and joy in your business without sacrificing your health, energy, and creativity, but you feel like you've got to, you know, pay your dues first, or you're feeling sort of lost in your business, then you want to check out my mini course, 5 Days to Getting Crystal Clear in Your Creative Business. Created this course to help you remove the frustration that's blocking you from receiving exactly what you want and go from stuck to creating the business that you want with ease and joy. So visit ThriveWithNikita.com/minicourse and use the code THRIVE to get it free. Again, that's ThriveWithNikita.com/minicourse and use the code THRIVE to get it free. That's my special gift to my podcast tribe, so go off and thrive. All right, let's hop on into this new episode. Enjoy. Welcome back to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast. I am so excited that you are here, and I'm excited for this part 5 of the series, How to Grow a Creative Business Sustainably While Living with Chronic Illness. And today's title or topic is how hustle culture is not serving you, and basically how is hustle culture destroying your income potential as a chronic illness warrior. In general, I feel like chronic illness warriors like us, and really everyone, is not served well by the, the toxic form of thinking about hustle. Um, I, I just know from my own personal experience and seeing what it has done to so many people, it is a construct that so many people believe is somehow okay. Like, the hustle culture is great, it's wonderful, and it's so not. And it's so not in so many different ways, but definitely for us who are living with chronic illness. I know for me, my own personal journey of living with chronic pain is that I am, or I should say, I am a recovering emotional stuffer. I used to stuff my feelings and emotions and experiences like down, um, in, like I kept them in. I didn't really always share my thoughts or feelings. I did diary when I was younger, but in general, I kind of, I had a very hard exterior that protected me in a lot of different ways. I used to have this feeling of like, because I was holding or stuffing those emotions, I wouldn't give people a lot of chances. I would be very, um, like curt and like If someone hurt me, I would just cut them off versus like actually dealing with why I'm hurt and actually talking to people about it. Um, so for me, I recognize emotional stuffing in a way that in my own personal feelings that it has shaped why I deal with things the way I deal with now, which is much more head-on just much more processing as it's happening. And I feel like hustle culture stifles that ability for most of us to actually do. When we think about hustle culture in the workplace and in life, it is all about forcibly or hurriedly doing something and deal with the consequences later, like literally. And I believe that that isn't serving us specifically who are living with chronic illness. Not to mention that hustling in a lot of different ways has an effect on our actual bodies, our mind and body. But before I get like dive into that part, here's the thing that I don't think we recognize. There are so many sayings out there in the world that are around this concept that I feel like came from this hustle culture and this mindset, mindset that I feel like just irks me to this day. So I wanted to share some of them with you because I think if we look at them in the construct of like how it applies to our lives and how it really has created a culture of not recognizing that good things take time, good things that are worth having take time to grow and flourish. So this idea that we can force or hurriedly do something like hustle our businesses into being profitable is actually doing the opposite to our longevity and sustainability of growing a business. It is actually creating and manifesting the thing that we don't want, which is to feel stressed out, which is to feel, um, like we have no choices, which is to feel um, stuck in and, and combined. The very reason why most of us got into having a business was likely so that we can have more freedom, um, have more flexibility, have more of a voice in how we choose to spend our time, our energy, and effort. And yet we have, in so many different ways when it comes to our business, accepted that we've gotta hustle in order to be successful. And so what I have learned from my own experience of just looking at things and questioning them, whether or not they actually are helpful to me, is recognizing that sayings like hustle or fake it until you make it, you can sleep tomorrow, messy action— there's a whole nother episode I can do about the concept of messy action. Yes, do I believe that we need to be in action and not wait and be per— perfect in doing it, but I feel like there's this underlying hustle culture, um, that has reflected in that messy action. Like, we just do everything and anything until something sticks, which that doesn't serve our energy or our intentionality of getting to where we want to go. And to me, the idea of messy action in part is being, um, served by this thought of hustle. Like you gotta do all the things in order to get to where you want to go. Or, um, here are some other things: you gotta work harder and sleep less so you can make more money, or you gotta pay your dues. And I always joke and laugh now about that concept because I'm like, when are the dues paid up? Somebody tell me, like, when are they paid up? That's that concept, um, I think a lot of times when we're thinking about hustling and that culture of hustle, or the thought like, you just gotta do what you gotta do because you don't have a choice. And life and our beautiful gift of free will tells us differently. So I definitely think that there's a different concept or cultural thing that we need to put in place of the word hustle that is more empowering to us. Like, maybe the word should be Let's be persistent. Let's just not give up. Let's be very adamant and almost stubborn in a way not to give up on our goals and continue to make, um, the adjustments and the growth while giving ourselves the space and grace to grow through getting to where we want to go. What about that? What about determination? Like, let's be determined to see things in a more positive way so that it actually serves our journey versus takes away from our journey. I feel like hustle doesn't allow you to do that in some ways, especially the way that we see it expressed on social media and we hear other influencers and other people that have this concept of hustling. And my other thought process about this idea of hustle is where has it gotten the world? Where has it gotten people? You know, we hear so many times how people have led to burnout, have led to chronic anxiety, panic attacks, who get to the top of where they are and they're wondering why. Like, is that the life that we want? And for us who live with chronic illness, who has time for that? Who has time for like spending all of our energy and our spoons on a lifestyle that we can't sustain and we didn't want in the first place? And that very concept about like changing our mind about hustling is so important in order for our mind and our, our businesses to actually thrive and be profitable. As a chronic illness warrior, we are at our best when we have rest, when we are curious and curious in our creativity, when we have space, when we give ourselves some grace around how and when we decide to show up, when we are focused on our unique gifts, that is when we thrive the most. And our bodies already kind of have this way— we've talked about this in a previous episode— that our bodies are already going through enough living with chronic illness. Right? We have pain, we have, um, the thoughts in our head about our pain and our experiences about how our pain is reflected, and so many different things. And if we're focused on hustling like everyone else is telling us to do, it's adding more pain to our business, and it's crowding out our ability to see what, one, our creative awesomeness is, two, how we best do that and deliver that to those people that we want to serve. It crowds all of that out. Here's what hustle does to the body. It literally puts us in our fight or flight nervous system, our sympathetic nervous system, which means it increases our stress hormone. And if you're a chronic illness warrior, what is one of the first things the doctors tell us when we have diagnoses that we're having labels? They're like, you need to avoid stress. Right? You need to avoid stress. Yeah, we laugh at that and we're like, how do you avoid stress all the time? Like, nobody can avoid it. True. But how often are we putting ourselves in that mindset of hustle? And how often are we leaning into hustle versus rest and digest, which is in our parasympathetic nervous system? Our body and mind was created to work with both systems. We at times do need to push or at times need to fight or flight, AKA you have a chronic illness. So we're gonna need times when we need to know, okay, hey, pay attention, do this, fight for your life, eat this, don't eat this. We need those things telling us what to do in our bodies, but we also need this other, you know, it's almost like if you think about it like being in a car where you have your foot on your brake, and then you have your gas, like if you're driving a stick shift, you need to be able to move between the two pedestals in order to thrive and get to your destination. But what happens with being in hustle mode is that we're constantly on the gas pedal of go, go, go, and it doesn't leave space for our bodies to rest and restore and get into a place where we have more space more space for, um, energy to be replenished, more space to release, more place, um, um, more space to allow us to really have the brain power and capacity to do what it is or deliver the thing that we need to deliver when it comes to our businesses. And so we don't have the space energetically, mentally, emotionally, then we don't have the space to create income. Like, we don't have the space to create or attract income in our business because we're too exhausted from pushing through the hustle of marketing our businesses or trying all the things that everyone says that we need to try, or stressing, or looking at so-and-so and so-and-so and comparing ourselves, putting ourselves in this mindset of always being on the go. And having to be doing all the things. I don't know how many times I've had clients who are so tired, right? They come to me and they're so tired and they're like, I don't know what else I need to do. And it's the hardest thing for me to have them slow down and shut the noise off. And they're like, that's gonna be the end of me. And I can tell you for a certainty, that's not true. I can say 9 times out of 10, within the first 60 days of my clients working with me, we have slowed down. We have really got more intentional about our thoughts, our values, our mission, our purpose, why we're doing what we're doing, who we want to serve, where we're going, what our lifestyle— how our lifestyle actually is the thing that we're trying to create around so that you can have more time for yourself, so you can have more time to create, so you have more time to be open enough in your brain to think more clearly because you're not in pain because of your chronic illness and you're not in pain from you creating more pain in your business by being stressed out because of the hustle culture mindset. So within the first 60 days of clients working with me, what I have found is that when we turn the noise down and we really kind of be intentional on slowing the thought processes down and getting clear on what they want and turning the noise down and stop all of the comparison that's going on in our head, they actually start attracting their dream clients so much easier. And not only that, not only that, they're— these are people who are willing to pay them what they ask for, and these are people who are willing to pay them because they've seen their work before and they know that it is the thing that they need for themselves. And the client— my clients feel more empowered and less stressed less hurried, less hustly when having those conversations. Again, like I mentioned at the very beginning of this, we thrive, you guys, when we take our time to get to where we need to go. Anything worth having takes time. Anything good takes time. And does that mean we might have to adjust what things we're doing in order to make this work for ourselves or for our businesses? Yes, but it doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice your quote-unquote needs. And I don't mean— and when I say quote-unquote needs, first we have to decide what are our needs. What do you need? Everybody needs rest, everyone needs water, everyone needs time to recuperate. Like, that's not a want. Like, this idea that like the hustle culture makes it sound like that's just a thing that you don't really need. Like, you don't really need to rest. You can just rest when you, you've hit it to the big time. What? How's that working for you? How's that working for people? It's not. It's really literally created a culture, a whole world where the majority of us are living with chronic illness because we're in that stress fight or flight all the time. We haven't given ourselves enough time to rest. So I, I find that there is a balance in finding some boundaries with ourselves and what it is that we want to accomplish in our businesses. And that sometimes means that we have to adjust our offers and, um, we have to adjust the way that we deliver our offers in order to give us the space that we need to rest so we can be at our best to serve our clients and to live our life. So that when we get to the success level that you want to get to, or that, you know, whatever level you're trying to get to in your business, that you don't regret it and you don't look at it and think, oh my gosh, I, I, I'm too exhausted to even be in the space anymore. And as chronic illness warriors, we already are tired, we are already dealing with pain, we're already constantly pushing or being determined to get up, get out the bed, take a shower, do all the things we need to do, have to do, and then do the other things that we also need to do and have to do. So don't create your business from the hustle culture place. Like, don't, don't do it because it's not gonna— it's not gonna serve you in the long term, and it clouds out the very thing that you need. Which is creativity and flow, right? You need that. Most of my clients are very creative and very like energetically emotional, like people, like they're very feely people, and they need the space for that to be okay. And the hustle culture doesn't allow for that. So how do you alleviate this if you find or you have found yourself in the hustle culture. One, identify what people or things are telling you that, and can you turn them off, mute them, or let them be, right? Because our association definitely has an effect on how we view, um, how we show up in our business. Get in a mindfulness practice of taking time for true deep self-care. Make it a daily habit, right? Make it a daily habit. As I mentioned in the very beginning, it used to be really hard for me, and I didn't like deal with my emotions. I stuffed them, and now I try to process them as they come up. And part of that is a practice that I have in the morning where I do some deep breathing. I do some journaling. I, um, do some aroma tapping with some essential oils and EFT, which is like acupuncture with your fingers, um, around the topics or feelings that I'm having. I have a spiritual routine. All of those things are very important to me. And if I create my offers, or when I decide to show up for my clients, my schedule falls around that first. Like it— those things have to go come first, and then my business and create, like, all my creative fun things come in after that. Or if creativity is a part of that for you, so maybe you love to create and that's a way that you release, make that a non-negotiable part of your daily life, your daily routine. The other thing that I think helps with overcoming the hustle culture is boundaries. Being okay with saying no, being okay with saying, um, not right now, right? Being okay to say what you charge and not pedal back and recognize that that might mean it takes you longer to get to your goal, but at least when you get to your goal you will still be alive and want to be doing the thing that you do. And honesty and being modest with yourself is such a crucial point, and also a crucial point for you to have with your clients up front. I don't care if you're delivering a service or a product. I have found being honest with like my ability to facilitate or to do something has always served me and my business well. I— my pace in my business is a lot slower than some other coaches, and I'm okay with that because my clients understand that that's how I work and they want to work like that. I am easily— and I also easily take time to say no. Like, modesty, like, yes, I might want to do something, I might say yes to some things, and I will say no to others. And again, that's kind of like going back to that boundaries place. So if you want to grow a thriving and sustainable, profitable business, you have to leave the hustle culture mindset alone. Like, you need to put it on its— put it under a hat, smash it, do whatever you need to, because it's not going to serve you longevity, like long term. And as chronic illness warriors, we only have so much spoons. We only have so much time. We don't need to add more stress to our plate. And we definitely need to watch who it is that we put in our space and how they're talking or speaking to us. You might need to, you know, address the issue with a coach that you work with, with maybe the way they speak to you about how you do what you do. Or maybe it's a Facebook group you're a part of or a mastermind. Like make it very clear that your intention is not to like be hurried along or to be forcibly doing something, but it's very intentional. And the reason why you're doing it is so that you can attract your ideal clients, the dream ones that you want, and so that you can be at your best peak of doing what it is that you love to do. So I have found that piece of advice for myself that I've kind of learned because, you know, there's a lot of people out there that is going to tell you different, that you just need to suck it up and keep going. And do I think sometimes we need to put our big girl panties on and do stuff? Yeah. But I also feel like we need more conversations about why it's okay to go slow in order to go fast. It's like the snowball effect. You don't start off with a big snowball man when you want to create a snowman. You start off with a small one in your hand and you gradually roll it and it gradually becomes this thing that you can put another big one on that you started off small too. It takes time. You cannot hurry success. You cannot hurry, um, the thing that you want to happen. Even in our chronic illness journey, we can't hurry how fast we heal ourselves. It takes time. So have that same approach that you probably have in your journey of living with chronic illness is giving yourself grace and understanding that, you know what, maybe this diet didn't work, or maybe this supplement didn't work, or maybe this doctor or that therapist wasn't for me. I'm just going to keep trying, keep going. Let that be the energy you put behind your business is that I'm I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep doing my best, but I'm also going to pay attention to taking care of my needs because if I want to get to where I want to go, it doesn't mean anything if I'm not physically and emotionally, mentally able to be present at that place. So that is my two cents on how, um, you know, the hustle culture is probably destroying your potential as a chronic illness warrior if you're buying into that thought. If you're buying into the thought that I just need to hustle more, I just need to do all the things more, I can tell you, I can, I can tell you so much, so many times, so many of the women that I know that I work with who are intentional about their capacity, their mindset, who slowed down and started to do things very intentional, they are more successful and they're much more happy doing it. So I hope you take this advice, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Like, do you find yourself struggling with the hustle culture? And what are some things that you find that helps you give yourself permission to do things differently that actually align, that feel more sustainable for you? All right, loves, the next time you will hear me for this series, we're going to be talking about 3 things that you shouldn't do while or when you're in a flare-up. Um, this one— that one will be a pretty quick one because it's just 3 things. And these are the things that I find that for myself personally, when I've done these 3 things, I'm like looking back going, ouch, shouldn't have done that. Anyway, can't wait to share the next few series with you. There's just a couple more left. And I'd love to hear back from you. You can always respond to me at info@craftedtothrive.com or leave a, um, review. And I'd love to hear from you. And remember, yes, yes, yes, you are crafted to thrive. All right, y'all, that's a wrap. Thank you for listening. And I hope this conversation inspired you. Be sure to visit craftedtothrive.com to check out our show notes, connect with our guests, and grab some of those goodies. Join us for the next episode. And in the meantime, remember, yes, yes, yes, you are crafted to thrive.