The Numbers... Are People

Welcome to She's Crafted to Thrive, a show for women in photography and other creative businesses. You will hear conversations about the real everyday struggles of juggling life and business while trying to maintain passion and balance. As women, we have the skill of getting things done, but sometimes we get in our own way. It's here where you'll see that you're not alone. You'll discover that success does not mean perfection. Fear, negative thoughts and challenges are all part of the journey. On the podcast, you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to have a life and business that thrives.

Hi guys, I'm so excited to be doing the solo cast. It's just me this time. I plan on doing a few more of these, um, maybe once every other month. Um, I really think it's a great place for me to share a little piece of me and my stories and of my experiences as an entrepreneur and as a woman dealing with endometriosis. So I'm really excited to do this solo cast, and I hope you guys like what I'm talking about today. And today I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about connecting authentically online. And this is a topic that I think a lot of us have a hard time doing. A lot of us find it difficult to be real online, and I find it hard myself. It's really hard because there's a lot of people out there who are doing— it seems to be perfect, right? It seems like everyone's peachy and wonderful and their images are amazing and their captions are picture perfect. And there are so many things that are pretty cool that people are doing, and I'm not hating, I'm just saying it's kind of like one of those high competitive areas if you know what I'm talking about. But what I have found over my course of the years is that it is really difficult to be real and authentic online. Y'all, I'm in my closet recording this and my little Leo kitty is in here trying to get his little love fest on, and I'm like, I'm working. This is not the time, Bubba. Okay, I'm back. So what I want to talk to you guys about is that very important topic of creating authentic relationships online. And why is this so important to me, and why I think it should be important to everyone in their business, especially if they're online, but not just business, like in life as well, is that we have become so digitally I don't know what the word is. We have become so consumed with what's happening online, and technology is amazing, and we have so many things because of it, and it has helped humans become closer in many ways, but in a lot of ways it has disconnected us. It has made us so unhuman. Instead of picking up the phone or writing a letter, we send a picture, or we not even send a picture, we post it on Facebook or Instagram. We see someone post and we like, or we do a little emoji or something. We have taken out of the human factor in a way from the connection, like the connecting to people on a human level. You know, when you used to get your pictures as a kid, you would send it to your friends or your family. They would call you up and say, oh my gosh, I loved the pictures. You guys look amazing. Da da da da. And now instead of all that, we get all that done online. But it's not the same as that phone call, right? Like, I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. Like the talking to someone. Or what about when you get a handwritten note from someone that you've worked with or friend or family? You just feel so much more special. Guys, that doesn't— that doesn't make any sense, right? It doesn't make any sense why we feel so much more special. But it does make sense because those are the ways that we really do connect with one another. So how do you do that online? How do you do that in general in your life, in your business? So I want to tell you a story. And the reason why I am so passionate about this is because I truly believe it. I've had so many opportunities in my life when it comes to my business because of just connecting to people on a human factor with no alternative motives. Nothing out of, out of nothing. Like, I don't want anything out of it other than to satisfy my curiosity and to see how I can be of assistance to someone. So I'm gonna tell you a story, and this story starts with me back in Atlanta, in downtown Duluth, where I love. It's a little town. It looks so different now in 2018 than it did— oh my gosh, uh, 6 years ago. It's a new little town. But what I love about little towns is just there's always small business owners. And usually in the small cities, little small downtown areas, those are mom-and-pop shops. They're not, they're not corporate, you know, they're not— what do you call them, you guys? My brain is just in a fog right now. They're not chains. They're small business owners who probably started out of the— out of their closet, out of their kitchen, or they had an idea and they wanted to make it come true. And that's what they're doing in those little downtown areas, and I love that. And that scene is changing a little bit too, but that's where my story begins with this one. So my husband and I was walking downtown in this little cute little, little downtown area, and there's a water fountain, and there's always like these new pop, you know, new businesses that were opening up there. There's a coffee shop down there that I really liked. They had the best chai tea, and it's the powdered chai tea. And, um, I just loved going down there. And I was walking with my husband, and I noticed that there's this little place called The Work Spot. And guys, I was like, that's cool, what is The Work Spot? And at the time, I was, um, working for myself, and I was kind of in between jobs because I was dealing with a lot of health stuff. And I was just trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And I was like, hm, but the place wasn't open at the time, so Mind you, I just, you know, thought about it and I kept seeing it and I loved the logo on the outside of it and I saw them, you know, putting things up over time and I would go downtown Duluth every, like, once a week just because I would sit out on the park and, you know, it's just a really quaint, sweet place to go. So one day I was there by myself and I just walked in because she was, the owner was there and she was open and I was like, "Hey, what is this?" And she's like, oh, this is a coworking space. And I was like, a coworking space? What is that? At the time I had heard of them, but I wasn't really too, too familiar with the idea of what coworking spaces were. And she's like, oh, it's a community about entrepreneurs who are starting and creating their own businesses. We have, you know, plans on working with the community and really sharing our skills with one another. And this place is kind of my place. I actually work— and the owner's like, I actually work for a company out of Arizona, but I wanted to do this as a side hustle thing because it's something I've always wanted to do, and I was really excited about it. So I did the little tour and I loved it. I absolutely loved it. It was something that I just thought was so cool, and I was like, this is awesome, I love it. Um, at the time I was playing with the idea of working with creative entrepreneurs and doing like little events, and I was like, oh my gosh, you know, I'd love to host an event here. Now, I had no idea that this woman loved like creative things, but she was so excited about that, and she was like, oh my gosh, I would love to do that, please, let's talk about details, come, come. And so that was the beginning of the relationship of me and Coworking Spaces with this wonderful place and this owner. And guys, that was just walking by a store and being curious and wondering what this place is about. And I really created a friendship, a business friendship with this woman, and she really supported me in my business. She really helped me grow to understand the industry as far as entrepreneurs as well as coworking, but also gave me a place to go to kind of play around with ideas. Now, that story ended up with me working my business. I started my first small business, business called One of a Kind Finds, Local One of a Kind Finds, or I called it One Oak. And it was basically where I did events for creators and makers, and we did that, and then we did coaching where we talked about how to use social media and how to network with people and how to blog and all that kind of stuff. And she was amazing. And I did that, and she felt so comfortable with the way that I was doing that. I was building that business and just connecting with people. She asked me to come on for her and to do some networking. I was like, oh my gosh, I would love to do that. So I started networking for her. I started going to networking events. And meeting people and connecting people with each other and connecting them to the space. And it just was so natural to me. I never went to school for this. I never really had to think about it. I just kind of had it in my bones. I think it was a skill or gift. I believe that God gave me to really connect with people and try to put them in the right place and you know, help them with their ideas and help them, help them to succeed and have no— like, I don't even think about the money side of it. It happens to bring about money. That's amazing. But I think that's what people really feel for me. And I still get that today. People today still feel so comfortable with me when it comes to their business and things because they know that I'm just there to help them. Now, let's— that was about 6 years ago. Let's fast forward to a year ago, I moved to Florida, a place that I know no one, guys. I know nobody. And we know nobody. Like, we were— we knew nobody because in the sense that, you know, we went to our congregation that's here and there were a few people that we got to know, but it's not close. Like, Atlanta was home, you know. Atlanta, I would go anywhere and people— my husband would be like, girl, you and everybody knows you. This is not that place. Florida was not that. And my husband was working. And because of that experience of at that coworking space, I just love coworking spaces. I just go in them all the time just to be like, hey, what's up? This is cool. How you doing? Like, I have usually have no plans on joining them right now because I work from home solely because of my health issues, but I just love them. So if I have the opportunity and I'm out and about, I just go and say hi. So for a couple of months, my husband was working and I was looking, like, going past there and I kept seeing this place. It was like a coworking space on Central and St. Pete, and I was like, kept walking by, walking by. I was like, I'm just gonna go in there. I'm just gonna be like, what's up? How you guys doing? They had just opened. Matter of fact, when I walked in, they had literally just opened their doors and they were having their grand opening, like, the next day. And I met one of the owners and she toured me and I was just like talking with her. They're actually an attorney's office who decided to grow into this coworking community because they work with so many business owners. They thought that this will be a great resource for communities, for— it would be a great resource for entrepreneurs and small businesses, and they would be able to give free legal advice from time to time to these business owners, and also they just love that world of entrepreneur space. Um, so that was their story, and their place is amazing. If you're ever in Florida in the Tampa Bay area, you need to visit Rising Tide Innovation Center. It's a really cool co-working space. It's owned by two women, two attorneys. They are pretty awesome, and their community manager is is fabulous. But anyway, um, that was a year ago, and I was just like, yeah, you know, occasionally I would go by and just walk in and be like, hey, you know, it was really cool to meet you, and this place is cool. You guys looking for anybody specifically as, you know, as members? And they're like telling me we're looking for tech people. I'm like, oh, my husband's in tech, you know, I'll let him know, maybe he can tell his people. So I maybe visited the place twice a year ago. Out of the blue, this woman calls me from the, the, um, from the attorney's office at the coworking space. And she's like, I know you mentioned— and I, guys, I didn't remember I mentioned this. She's like, I know you mentioned that you used to work with a coworking space. We're looking for someone to help train our assistant, who's our legal assistant, to become a community manager. Do you think you would be interested? What? Wait a minute, what are you talking about? And she's like, yeah, I think it would be a good space. I think you could really help. Maybe we can meet. So we met. Long story short, they're a client of mine now, and I work with the community manager in helping her figure out how to do that, how to really connect with her community and how to network with the community outside of Rising Tide. So guys, It all started with a conversation and a curiosity, and I think that's what's missing a lot of the times in our businesses and online. We, we tend to shy away from those real authentic connections because it's hard to do that when there's so many different connections happening online, right? So how do you do that? How do you really connect with someone in a way that it doesn't feel sleazy and yucky, but It builds a relationship that it doesn't matter whether they become a client or not. It just matters that they are people and you connected and maybe you can help them. And that's really my approach to my social media. My marketing online, offline is, is there a way I can help you? And I think that is a real authentic piece that is missing from our businesses. And I don't think it's intentional. Obviously, I think we all mean to be real. I think we all mean to be honest and open, but it's really hard to do that, especially if we're critical of ourselves or we feel inferior to the people that are on there doing amazing things. But you're doing something amazing. You're amazing. What you have is special to you. What— how you do what you do is special to you. And I think that's a piece that we all forget about. That there are always going— there is always going to be competition in whatever we do, but your story cannot be duplicated. Your circumstances cannot be duplicated. And that's the piece of us that we need to share. That's the piece of us that we need to connect with. But one of the ways that we have to do that is that we have to be clear. We have to be real. We have to know Who is our ideal customer? We need to know what our story is and how it relates to the ideal customer. We need to have an idea, a feeling from the heart that we want to give regardless of what we get. You know, we want to give regardless of what we get. That's so important. I think when we go out expecting to get the world and we don't, it's, it's a It sets up ourselves for failure. It sets us up to just be sad and depressed. If you just go out there and have joy with what you're doing, it makes all the difference. It won't matter if someone will say yes to you or connect with you or even care what you're doing. What will matter is that you have joy, and then what will happen will be that other people will connect to you because of that. And whether they connect with you on a financial way or a relationship way, you will have gained because you will have done it out of, out of your heart. Right. So that's what my course that I'm working on right now is how to create real meaningful relationships beyond online, online, offline. And so that it doesn't feel like it matters whether or not you get the client or not. What happens, you guys, is that I'm learning this as I work through some personal development with, with a company I'm with now on the side of my business, is that the results only can appear skewed in the beginning. They usually do. It takes a long time for relationships to build. And doesn't that make sense? In person, it takes a while for relationships to be built. Think about it, online we're asking people to connect with a stranger. We're asking people to buy or work with us or entertain a conversation with us, and they never met us in person. Never. And we're hoping that they will buy the world from us, right? Or if they're connected to us and we haven't talked to them in years, we're expecting them to trust us enough to purchase something from us or to refer us to a friend. How is that going to happen unless you build it over time? And I think that's a piece, a human piece that we forget. We all, you know, the numbers are important, but the people are the numbers, right? So what you want to do is create something that people come back to you years later, whether or not they say yes or no. They come back and they want to work with you or they want to refer someone with you, or they're curious to find out more about you and your life. But that works both ways. And then that's a piece that I really want people to focus on is the other way, the us way. Are we, are we being with people who are consistently reaching out? Are we giving what we can give? Are we being real with what we're giving? You know, a saying in my team is you have to go slow to go fast. I love that, right? Isn't that so true? You have to go slow to go fast. Relationships just don't, you know, crash and go. But real relationships take time. There's a reason why when you get married or you're in a relationship for, you know, a long time, your feelings that you had in the beginning can go through a metamorphosis of being extremely amazing and more, more in love with a person than you were in the beginning. And it's not because you didn't love them in the beginning. It's just because you didn't know them as well as you know them now. And that's what it is online. People will start to like and know you and trust you when you continue to show up and give them value beyond belief. We continue to show up and give them your heart. When you continue to show up and care for them, whether or not they say yes or no to you. And that's a piece. That's a human piece that no social media, no Facebook, no Instagram, no website will do except you. You have to reach beyond online. You have to create that real place. And so that's part of the reason why when I connect with people, I ask them for their name, their phone number, and their address if they're willing to give it to me, because I like to send thank you cards. I like to call people and be like, hey, what's up? How are you doing? How's your life? Um, if they're comfortable with online doing that in Messenger or email, I do that that way as well. And those are the people that I always stay in contact with. And those opportunities come my way and I'm not even seeking them out. Business and work comes my way because of that. And I really truly believe that's because I care and they feel that I care. Not that you don't care, not that you don't feel. I just think sometimes we get so stuck in the I got to get this post out. Oh, I got to do that. Life doesn't work that way. You know, our relationships don't work that way. Sometimes I want to talk to you, sometimes I don't, right? Sometimes you have a best friend today, you don't have a best friend tomorrow because you guys have an argument, and now you guys are best friends again. Life is messy. Life is real. But if you are real and you aren't fake and you do show up when you show up and you give what you can, It makes all the difference in the world to people. It makes you real to them. It helps your relationships to really matter no matter what. And that's a piece of— a piece of joy that I love about my business, a piece of joy. I really like knowing what's going on with people in their lives, and I really like connecting in that way. And it's a piece that I really miss a lot. And in business, it's very rare that you find someone that's not just looking at you as a number but looking at you as a person. So that's why I decided to take a month off in October to really work on the content-ish, like the content stuff of my webinar that I'm going to be doing about how to make real authentic relationships online and offline. It's gonna be a step-to-step, um, guide about basically how to do it, um, online using the, the resources we have online, and then how to translate that offline. And, um, I hope it's something that everyone will find valuable. It won't be as all over the place as this. It's very laid out, and it's going to be really detailed about how to make those relationships and those things that happen online become more than just engagement numbers to you, um, but make them count for multiple reasons. So I can't wait to share that with you guys, and I can't wait for my next solo cast because I'm sure that one will be interesting. I don't know what the topic is. I just thought I would do one for this month. I have another interview coming up soon, hopefully, um, and it'll be on a more personal level. It's going to be about women dealing with chronic illness, and I can't wait to hear what you think about that one too. So you guys have a great day. Thank you.

All right, ladies, thank you for listening, and I hope this conversation inspired you. Be sure to subscribe and tell a friend. That's it on this episode, and yes, you are crafted to thrive.