Unlocking Trauma, Overcoming fear & Finding Confidence with Amy Robinson

I am absolutely honored to have this guest on my show. We are going to be talking about overcoming trauma and overcoming fear. And just as a disclaimer, we are not therapists, we are not doctors, we do not diagnose. None of the information that you're going to hear here is meant to diagnose you or treat you. We are both sharing our personal experiences living through and overcoming trauma and fear from a mental, psychological, and physical place. And I am so excited to have this conversation with one of my dearest best friends that I've been a friend with for a while. You will hear more about that on the, um, in the show. But today we're talking about how to overcome some of the biggest challenges all of us have experienced. And we're sharing some of the tools that have helped us along our journey. But more specifically, our guest, she is literally in my world, like, one of the most kind and loving people that I know, and the most real and authentic, as you know, and an amazing now certified trauma confidence coach as well as an aromatherapist. And you're going to hear in the story, like, how she has overcome, how she supports her clients through her own personal experience in this journey of thriving and surviving through, through trauma, how she incorporated aromatherapy to help accelerate her healing and her growth. How she overcame fear and anxiety and uses CBT to help her clients to do the same in the coaching realm. And also, you're just going to hear a lot of authenticness here, a lot of open, honest, real truth and heart in this episode. Lots of gems. And if you are struggling with trauma— you've got trauma, we've all got it— but you are particularly in a stuck place, I want you to listen to this whole episode because literally Amy shares gems and things along the way that supported her and some questions that might open the door for you to start healing and finding growth and overcoming fear and transforming your trauma into confidence, as Amy would say. So stay tuned. Welcome to She's Crafted to Thrive, a globally ranked podcast for women living with chronic illness Creatives in Business. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, chronic illness warrior and photographer turned digital marketer turned award-winning coach. I love helping chronic illness warriors and creatives to live with their chronic illness and creativity as their superpower in life and business. On the show, you will hear the very stories that helped our guests, my clients, and myself to define our dream way of making money with proven strategies and marketing and mindset, all to grow a business that thrives without sacrificing our health. So stay tuned because you'll find the inspiration and tools and the resources you need to craft a life and business that thrives.

I am so excited to have— I'm getting emotionally about to say this— have my longtime sister friend and amazing coach Amy on the show. Let us know who you are, where you're from, what you do, and then we'll get into a little bit like how we know each other, and then why this conversation is going to be different.

Okay, wonderful. Well, I am just incredibly happy to be here. I'm trying to hold back tears myself. My name is Amy Robinson. I am living currently in Atlanta, Georgia, and I've been here on and off for over 20 years. And I am a trauma-aware confidence cognitive coach who uses— oh yes, that's true, I'm also a certified aromatherapist.

That's so exciting to say. Oh, a dream come true.

A certified aromatherapist as well, who uses cognitive behavioral therapy and psychoaromatherapy, or emotional regulation, to support my clients through the most challenging part of releasing their trauma, to move them into their full confident self, to redirect that energy for their, for their future.

Yeah, you guys, she's so good at it. And before we go deep into how she began this journey, Amy and I have known each other since my husband and I have been married, like, literally for, like, 14 and a half years. This is how long we've known each other. And she came into my world probably during, like, one of the most traumatizing times of my life, living with my chronic illness out of the blue, right? And this was before Amy was doing what she's doing as a coach. She just has been a friend in my corner, a sister that I can't even explain. Like, I can't even give you into all the details of how amazing Amy is to me. So with that being said, our conversation gets really real oftentimes with each other, just in general. So just be prepared for all the realness. But please tell Amy, how you came to this path of being a trauma-informed coach and why. Well, let's just start with that question first. I don't wanna start stacking questions, so let's just start with how you started here with being a trauma-informed coach.

Whew. It was a journey. It was a journey. And it's one that, you know, so here's a bit of a disclaimer before I get into it. I really am a big believer that we start leaning into things that we're going to be before we even recognize it. Yeah. And so for years before this, I've always been kind of in a bit of a teacher role. That's always been kind of where my strong suit has been, and moving into this. So for, you know, for years, because I do, and I lean heavily into, volunteer Bible educational work, it sent us abroad, and we were able to enjoy that corner of life for a while abroad. And so I needed, you know, I needed to do work online, and so I was an online teacher in many ways, right? So with that. I always knew that it just would cap at one point financially, but I enjoyed it and I learned from it and I grew from it. And I loved always helping children. It was— I would teach Chinese children English, and I was always that teacher that they would tell their deepest secrets to. I was that teacher. And so there was— it was like a teaching counseling session almost a little bit. So there was always that— it was developing in me, that kind of thing. So we came back to the United States and I needed to grow. I needed to get in work that would help us to support our lifestyle. But I just didn't want to go back to the workplace. And so I had a conversation with an incredibly amazing dear friend. Her name is Nikita Williams.

Ouch, y'all. My stomach hurts from Pilates. Ouch.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

And I remember you were having I was watching you and I just loved this space that you had come into. It was, it's just you, it's who you are. And I was just so proud of you. And I was just like, oh, I want to be like her when I grow up. Right. And so I was like, I was just watching you on Instagram and I'm like, man, and then you offered a free discovery call. And in that call, it brought such clarity to what I was already kind of leaning on prayerfully and just meditatively. And you asked me, have you ever considered being a coach? And it literally, it was like a brick in my face, like simple question. And I literally, it stopped me in my tracks. And I said, uh, no, what's involved? And you didn't give me, you gave me just enough for me to go and figure it out myself. And I love that. I love that because there's truth to it with any coaching, with anything. You have to be able to do the work yourself first before you can go and support others and push them to do themselves. So there was a little bit of that. So that's when I kind of went into that realm, and I considered it a, a thing. And so I went and I— for me, I went and got certified in confidence coaching. And then I realized as I was leaning into that, my first client came to me with so much heavy trauma on her heart that I couldn't even get her to the point of confidence without acknowledging what the trauma was. And so that's what created the trauma informed, because I— it brought back so much of my life, things that I had grown from and have become this, you know, who I am today. Like, I've had to really shed a lot of my trauma to be where I am. And so We're gonna maybe get into that a little bit later, but I come from a sexual, emotional, physical abuse background. And so when I was leaning into the confidence coaching, I realized, you know what, this is an avenue I can work on. So when I got certified in that, then I went for cognitive behavioral therapy because the brain is such a big part of movement, any type of movement, right? If the mind says, I'm not doing it, we don't do it. We just don't get it done. So that's how I got into— Nikita Williams. Right, exactly. So then all this kind of came. So I became certified in that, became certified in cognitive coach as well. And it's just evolved, pivoted into what it is today.

Yeah. You know, it's so— obviously I feel like we've lived this journey together in some ways, like so many, so many ways, just as me being the coach that I am and like being like Nikita has been a lot of our— my growth. And you've been a part of that growth. So like seeing you, like when we had that conversation, honestly forgot. I was like, when you started doing it, because when Amy started to do the coaching, you guys, it was almost It almost felt like she had just decided to put her cape on. Like, it was already— like, I've always— that's how I've always felt about Amy. Like, she's always— this is what she does anyway. Like, it wasn't even a surprise to me that she just walked into these doors and took it like, you know, she's been doing it for 25 years, right? She's over here about to bust out crying. Stop it. Oh, girl.

I told you, don't make me cry.

But I definitely— I forgot, like, until you just said that, I forgot we did have that conversation. I'm like, I forgot because you own it so well of like, you walk the walk, you talk the talk, you do the work. And I think that's what one, I want everyone to know about coaching is that it is a personal journey, one with yourself in so many ways. It's like the growth that I have done just being a coach is like crazy. The stuff you get into your mind and you realize, oh snap, I need to— I need to figure this out. This is not just going to be, you know, walk away or be prayed away even. I have to actually do the work behind that. So for you as a coach now, how much of your life informs your coaching?

One is not without the other. It's just not— it's not possible for me who I am is what I give, if that makes any sense, right? So it has enveloped every aspect of my life. I take pieces of the things that are most important to me, and I help and support other women to have those pieces too. I give it to them freely in the work that I do. And I find that that's the only way I can approach my coaching, is that way— authentically, transparently, right? I lean very heavily on spiritual guidance and biblical support. However, in that cognitively, psychologically, those two realms are very similar to each other. And the women I work with also understand that spiritual support, the guidance, they just don't understand the psychological perspective of it. So I make the connection between the two for them and help them to understand we cannot be— we cannot We cannot go to where we want to go to without going through where we are. So yeah, it envelops the whole. I hope that answers the question.

Yeah, no, it definitely does answer the question. And the next thought or question I have is what challenges like for you, because again, you and I, me and Amy know each other like we know each other, y'all. Like, I don't know, it's me and Amy. We could get— we cannot see each other for— it feels like there's been times even when you've been traveling for a while, we've not talked for months. And we get back at— we get in each other's face and it's like, it's the friend that you're like, ride or die, far and wide, whatever. This is where me and Amy's at, okay? This is where we're at. So what are some challenges, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally, that you would consider chronic that you've had to learn to create tools for, for yourself personally, to run a business also, like, like in links of like running a business, especially this type of business, which requires a lot of us, right?

Yeah. No, that's such an amazing question. I had to really think about this one for a minute because life— oh, an authentic life is not without hurdles, right? So those challenges, when they come, they reveal areas in our life that we need to grow in. Those hurdles, those things, right? And so For me, I'm going to try very hard not to get emotional.

If you do, you know, it's okay.

Oh, for me, it was devastating. Depression for a while. It was diagnosed as chronic. It was something that I had recognized that I had had for a long time. I just avoided acknowledging it. My son was diagnosed with autism at a young age, at 8 years old, and so there was a lot of the guilt that came with that. And did I treat— you know, did I discipline him right? Did I raise him right? Was it my— was it our fault? Did I eat right? Did I— you know, so all these things over time created a clinical-type depression, right? And anxiety, chronic anxiety. I was diagnosed with both of them. And then the impact from my childhood trauma just came to a head, right? So all of this stuff came to a head when I was about 38 years old. Just devastated me. Like, bed— I was in bed for 6 weeks. I would get up to go to the bathroom. My husband had to feed me, spoon-feed me. My son saw that. So that— I needed to get professional help for that, and I'm grateful for it. I'm so grateful for it. But as I started to get healthier, because at that point I had to really redirect my energy and say, okay, you know what, there's two ways you can live. You can accept and embrace this as what it is and, you know, allow it to pivot you into a life that you've always wanted, or you can allow it to devastate you and you stay stuck in this situation for your whole life. Because, you know, there's a lot of people, many of us, most of us have walked around with depression or anxiety. Yeah, there are two categories of people: those who use it to fuel them and move forward, and those who stay stuck in it and in that self-doubt. And that— and a lot of times it isn't because they— well, they just don't know how to get out of it. Those are the people I support, right? Those who want to, who want to be there, but they just don't know how. But then there's the other kind of hidden category that, no, I really like the attention this gives me. I like, you know, I like being enabled and but we're not going to talk about that because that can really be controversial. So we're going to leave it at that. So those things, those challenges, I came to a point where I realized, no, I'm getting the support that I need. My doctor gave me the support I needed. I did have to take medication for a while. It was incredibly strong medication. It was the type of medication that if I missed a pill, a tiny little pill, I had a migraine so bad that I thought I was going to die. It was just that type of medication. Right. But we worked together. Along with changing my eating habits, changing, you know, working on myself, self-type therapy, so to speak. And then eventually I was able to wean myself off it. That's when aromatherapy really came into my life. Really, I mean, I've known— I've had aromatherapy in my life since my son was born, but that's when it really started taking a whole different perspective for me. And I started using it as medicine, you know, medicine for myself, holistic enhancement of what I was already using. Medically.

Yeah.

And man, did it help accelerate it. My own personal thing, nobody can tell me otherwise. Like somebody who, somebody who comes to me who doesn't understand how powerful aromatherapy is, I'm like, oh sweetie, you have just got to educate.

No idea.

And that's exactly how she'll tell you, oh sweetie, oh sweetheart. No, let's talk, because I promise you, personal experience, I promise you the changes I've seen in my life I attribute to a few things, and that is one of them, hypnotherapy and cognitive work as well. So short story long, right? It's all good to grow. There was a period of my life where I said, Amy, everything I would say to myself, Amy, this is a moment of acceptance and embrace. Learn to accept and embrace, because if you don't, you will not grow. And it's actually something I tell my clients. I'm like, you are not an accepted Yet you got to work on that. We're going to work on that. We're going to peel those layers back to help you to get to acceptance and embrace, because that's where the true growth starts.

So many things in there. I didn't know this specifically with while you were talking, which is so funny, that the aromatherapy— I've always wondered where that link was. So because we've always like— I mean, that's— I think it was either someone else introduced me to essential oils, like just in general, like back in the day with like Young Living. Hey, come to this make and take party or something. I was like, oh, this is nice. And then obviously Renee Renee, who you and I both know— Renee is the one who has certified both of us in essential oils and certifications and stuff like that. She is the one who brought aromatherapy into my life to help me deal with living with chronic pain. I never thought that some oil bottle— I was one of the people that— Amy, just come. Oh, sweetie, come here. I was one of those people who was like, yeah, you cannot tell me this oil is going to help me deal with my pain. That's a joke. And obviously, does. It's the thing that has helped me so much. But I didn't know for you that that was the piece in the middle of dealing with the chronic anxiety and depression that helped you continue to heal and move forward. That's news to me. That's beautiful.

That's beautiful.

Thank you. I kept it private for a lot of years. I have a 5-step blueprint that I teach and coach my clients to do, and it's exactly what I did. It's exactly what I did. Yeah. It has some modifications to it to make it a little bit more structured. So when— excuse me, because I was crying earlier.

She's okay.

Because my clients, when they come to me, you know, it's a trust thing, right? And so for them, it's like, I don't even know if this works. Well, when you don't do it, how do you feel? When you do do it, how do you feel? So I don't come from just throwing things from the air and say, okay, do this. I'm like, I did this. When I say to you it will work, it will work.

Yeah, yeah, same here. Yeah, yeah. We both have businesses that are built— our frameworks are built from what we've done. Like, that's how we know, and that's why we're so passionate. Like, no, it's gonna work. It might take you a longer time, it might be a little bit more, you know, complicated, but it's gonna work. Because like you just shared, to be at that place where you can't— you feel like there's no more lower to go, and to be where we are now using the very tools that we as coaches are teaching our clients to use, we know it works. Stop fighting us. I just want to say that, but embrace, embrace, embrace it.

Okay.

What are some things, Amy, that you've had to intentionally work on mindset-wise in shifting from this is, this is what worked for me and to help it work for others? You know what I'm saying? Like what's been the mindset that you've had to, had to cultivate with that?

Oh, I love this question. Fear. Overcoming fear as a trauma, as someone who has grown from chronic complex trauma, fear used to cripple me. Right. So there's a beautiful Bible principle that I lean on that talks about there is no fear in love. Fear casts, you know, love, it casts fear aside because fear cripples us, literally paralyzes us. Right. And that was the state of my life. Like, I just, I fear failure, fear of success. Fear of rejection, you know, fear of abandonment, fear of disappointment. You know, those were major, major fears for me. Trauma doesn't allow us to stay in a peaceful state. It keeps us in a, in a, I like to say, high vibration state, that high idle state, right? And we become hypersensitive and the scare, the simplest things can scare us. So the brain affected by that, all it wants to do is protect us. You know this. And so I have to, you know, it's in the beginning, oh, that was so scary. It was so scary to step into this and take on my first client and then second. And I'm like, oh no, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know what good I'm doing. And you know what? I still battle with that.

Me too. Me too. It's—

yeah, Barb can get loud, let me tell you. She can get loud.

And who's Barb? Who's Barb, Amy? You gotta tell people who Barb is.

My inner critic. She's my inner voice. She's the one who just attacks me when I'm tired, right? She is constantly there pillaging me, throwing— but not as much anymore because I've gotten to the point where I'm like, really, I have way too much evidence. Like, it's just way too much evidence. But I've had to really do that. And so because of that, when I see those, I'm very attuned to my clients. I see what they're not seeing, right? And I, I become that to them where you think about walking down a road that's got potholes in it, right? And as a coach, I visualize seeing myself putting down a board for them as they're going to go through this, through a hole, right? About to step into a hole. And I'm like, wait, let's put the board down, prepare this way, and then you can walk through it. And so because fear can make them fall and then they won't get back up again.

Yeah, fear. I used to like go with that saying, and I don't know if you know, fear is the— what is it— false evidence appearing real. And as a coach, what I've learned is that fear is actually very tangible. Fear is chemical. Fear is atoms and neurons running crazy, right? And so I get what they mean by fear. It's like it's not actually really happening, but our body responds as though it is. Real. So, and it doesn't know any different. Like, it doesn't know any different until we tell it so, right? And so I love that you said, like, that's the mindset that you've had to really learn how to harness. I'm like, even though I'm, I'm experiencing this very real physical experience of fear, right? I'm building evidence. I call it the evidence bank. Like, let's keep building the evidence bank of, you know what, I feel it, but I'm gonna still move through it. And I love that you shared that because I think it just gives us more an empowerment mindset around what fear really is. We like beat ourselves up for having fear. Like, you know, if you think and believe that thought about fear being like, it's false evidence appearing real, you, you too busy like ignore saying, well, I should just ignore this, I should ignore this. And it's really about the acceptance that yes, it's there, but here's the evidence, right?

Exactly. If I may add a layer to that, right? Because a lot of my clients who come to me have complex PTSD. PTSD, OCD, these are real things. ADHD, you know, scientifically ADHD has roots in trauma. That's where it starts because the brain tries to find ways to protect itself, right? So one of the things I tell my clients, and I get a little bit hound-doggish on this, but I'm like, fear is always greater than the reality. The fear is always greater than the reality. Is it psychological or is it situational? And fear is good. That's what keeps us from running in front of a bus, you know? Yeah, that's a good thing, you know, like the stress hormones on that. However, when you're stepping into something, you know, Say you want to step into one of your favorite restaurants and you know what's on the other end and you're afraid to walk through that door. That's psychological, right? So with my clients, I have to work with them a lot on that, the differences of that. And it's helped me to grow because I'm able to identify, is it psychological fear or is it situational fear? And so I'm able to recognize it. And I'm like, I got evidence. I don't need you. But we grow into it. And there's so many things. There's things ahead of me even. And you probably You understand this. There are things ahead of us that we're fearful of because we haven't seen them yet. But once we get there, we're like, oh, okay, that wasn't so bad. Yeah, yeah. Fear is always greater than the reality.

So true. That's going to be in a quote somewhere on some reel or something. Yeah. So, Amy, tell us a little bit about what inspires you. Like, who are the women? What inspires you either in what you do, how you do what you do?

Oh, I love this. You inspire me. I just love— girl, I love watching you. I love watching you grow. I love watching you own your space. I've seen where you come from. I've seen the trauma you've been through. And so when you're open and authentic and in alignment, those are the things that inspire me. And you're a living example of that for me, right? Age is nothing but a number. That's how I look at it, right? I love being around women who have grown into themselves, who have under— who understand what it feels like to be in alignment, to be authentic, to be okay. Right. They say insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet. And I love that. And I draw to that. So some of the women who inspire me— man, this is a tough question because there's so many and I don't want to name any names. Because I don't want to leave anybody out, you know. But authenticity, openness, honesty— beautiful qualities. You know, I'm big— I'm very hypersensitive, so energy and vibes. Yeah, pretense shuts me down. It makes me repel because immediately— and this is my brain's protection as a trauma thriver— is I immediately, when I walk into a space, I feel I need to protect my energy. And I want to be able to give to others. So I need to be cautious of my energy. So if somebody brings pretense into it, I'm like, they haven't worked that out yet and they're not ready for it. And so I'm going to be too much for them and I don't want to be that person for them. So I'm just going to step away a little bit. Right. And it's a natural thing. And it doesn't mean that they're— it does not mean— and I want to clarify this, it does not mean a bad, evil person. It doesn't mean that at all. We all wear masks to a certain degree.

Yes.

Mhm.

Just some live in them and they're not ready to come out of them. I like— I've taken my mask off and I need to protect my energy and be around women who have also done the same. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

Yeah.

Taking a moment for that one. Yeah. I mean, there's so much power in what you just said about the mask. Like, we all wear them. We probably wear them probably more than we realize. But to realize that there's a difference of wearing them and living in them requires real courage for yourself to see where you are in that, right? Like, because if you realize you're living in that mask, that means you got some work to do, like some real, real work to do. And I think a lot of us are living in our masks. Without realizing it, right? There are— just side note, this— Brené, our coach, taught me this years ago, like, since I've been— like, right before the pandemic, about being an investigator of your feelings or being a witness without being a judge, right? And I do that every quarter. It feels like I intentionally be like, okay, I'm going to really intentionally be a witness of what I am experiencing, what I feel. And that practice has been the thing that helps me not live in my mask, right? Like, not live in the mask, because we get so caught up in the judging of what we are experiencing versus the awareness of what we're experiencing so that we can make those changes. And it feels so much better when you're a witness. Yeah, when you're a witness versus a judge.

Yeah, right.

And I think it's something we just— in, in every area, I think it's so funny how much entrepreneurship is so Very— if you want to get real with yourself, you want to, you want to try to find yourself, you want to find a real you, become an entrepreneur. Okay.

Oh my goodness. Yes.

Right. It's so— they're so parallel in so many different ways. And I tell people all the time, and I don't know if you feel like this, I grew up living knowing like what a quote unquote good person should be living like, right? Yet that also had a lot of filters of the environment around me of what quote unquote good was and is, right? And as you grow as a person, the authentic you can get so like down in the pits, if you will, that you don't know what that authentic you is. So much so you're living— you're living in the mask and don't even realize you are. And as you have shared with me and I've just seen like the clients you're working with, it's almost like they're, they're in the awareness to a degree that they're living in a mask, but they're leaping over something to say, I don't want to do that anymore. I need to find me. Right, right. And, you know, when I remember us having a conversation about the thought of like, I don't, I don't know if this is helping people, like, what is this going to do? And I was like, Amy, and I want people to hear this because I think we have to remember this. We think confidence is just like this, you know, quote unquote buzzy word. But if you don't know who you are and how to uncover who you are, cleaning the dishes, doing laundry, going out for a job, deciding what kind of eggs you like, what kind of coffee you want, who you want to be in your space, how you want to dress, what music you like listening to, all of that becomes a montage of everyone else except you.

Yes, right?

And so like, that's the power of working. If you are listening to this episode, that's the thing I want people to know. If you're listening to this episode and you feel like you're kind of like going through the motions, you've experienced trauma— look, all of us have experienced it, y'all, don't be acting like you ain't. We all have some, deeper than others. I mean, if you've been living through a pandemic at this point, you've experienced a trauma, okay? Okay, okay. So wherever you are and you feel like you're watching the world from the outside, right? Everyone else is living it and you're watching it from the outside, but you know you want to be living it. That's what a trauma— that's what a confidence coach is helping you to do, right? So the question I have is, because I hear this often and I know it's a thing, like, what, what is the line? And I really want to be clear, what is the line between working with a coach in this space versus therapy?

Oh, such a beautiful question. Thank you for asking this question. I get it often. The line is, I support you in becoming an accountability partner and becoming that person. Awareness leads to, uh, to understanding, which leads to confidence. That's my thing that I tell everyone, my clients. I do not diagnose for you. I do not prescribe medication. I do not do this for you. It's not a session where you vent and only vent. Yes, it's therapeutic coaching. Absolutely. My heart, my eye, my ears, my eyes are focused on you. My ears. I give all of you. There's a point where we have to make action and take action. And that's the person who I become for you. So that's the difference. As a matter of fact, every one of my clients has been in therapy at one point, and their words, the feedback I get is I need motivation. I need to start taking action in my life because therapy was good, but I need somebody to be my accountability partner and the person to get me from point A to point B, even point C, to make those connections so that I can go the rest of the way myself. Yeah, that's what I do. That's what I do.

I love it. I asked that question because I think most coaches get that question all the time. Yeah. And I think even more so when you are talking about trauma-informed and what does that mean? And it's like, be clear that, you know, we, we aren't necessarily helping you process all of that trauma. As you mentioned, it's like, yeah, I mean, that's what therapy is for. Like, that is what that is for. But the action of where you go from there, I find my most successful— and I don't know, like you said, most of my most successful clients have therapists, like, because therapy is great, but the accountability is where coaching comes in. It's the person when you come on the call and they're asking you, so did you do that journal work? And you're like, uh, I mean, where's that accountability?

That's right, that's exactly it. Now, and I do hold— I will say this, I hold space because of the trauma. Because of the trauma, there's a very— I have to, I have to be very cautious about a very gentle process, right? That's why my clients come to me, most of them come to me for 6 months and then they renew for another 6 months. Most are with me for about a year because they need time to process that. Yeah, they do. They need to process their trauma. And but what I do within that is keep them accountable. Like, this is how you're going to process your trauma. This is how you're going to do it. It takes action. And I do become that person. I had a client yesterday. I had to tell her that. Say, well, what I'm hearing is I know everything. What I'm seeing is you're not doing the work. Mm-hmm. Right. So We have— I'm there to help you make the connection between what your mind says you want to do and what your body is going to do.

Yeah, I love that. I love, love that. So when it comes to finding— I don't know if you've heard me say this, but I know balance is a very common description of things. But as I have grown as a person, I just have a hard time with the feelings and the words of balance, because when I think of balance, I think literally of a scale, and it's like equal, equal, and I just as a human just don't think we can do that. Like, we just can't. I think it's more about finding the harmony of it all. So how are you finding harmony? Because especially in this— this is a deep space to serve people in, okay? It's a deep place and variable at that, right? How are you finding your harmony for taking care of you, your business, your family, your spiritual, physical, emotional needs while building this very successful, impactful meaningful business that you're doing?

I've had to lean in to master the art of flow. You and I, we've had this conversation, right? I, I, like you, don't feel that there's a set balance. I think we learn how to ride the waves as they come. And in the beginning, that was quite a challenge for me because I went from 0 to 15 in about 6 months, right? From 0 clients to 15 clients. And that was really a lot for me. So I had to set boundaries with myself and with my clients. So what does that look like in a day? My clients, when they first came to me, you know, part of the trauma process is the emotional dump, right? And that's okay. I hold space for that. However, when that starts to infringe on my private space, and I've been very clear about that, they will know. And it's gotten to that point. So I've set very clear boundaries. I've tightened up my contract with my clients very specifically. They also know that they can reach me within a certain amount of time. And after that, I will not respond to them. So because that's my early in the morning, that's my time with my wonderful Creator, right? That's my spiritual flow time. It takes me on average about 2 to 3 hours in the morning to get moving, right? And that's my, you know, to get up, to reflect. For me, that's very important to do my Bible, you know, my Bible reading. Very important to marinate on that. To do personal growth, journaling, breathing, my routine. Yeah, I am— I love how Renee says it, that emotional hygiene, right? Yeah, how to take care of ourselves. So that's my thing. So now those moments are very, very precious to me. So that's closed to the world, right? And then in the evenings and weekends, those are closed to the world because I have a family, I have my husband needs my support, right? My friends So I've had to establish very clear boundaries and when, and I'm very, very hound dog-ish about it. And I actually have a brand new client. She's like, how do you do? And I said, I promise you, if you overstep it, I will let you know.

You will know.

I'm very much about that because how are my clients going to learn boundaries if I don't set them? So that's a big one.

When your clients go, when your clients start saying, oh, I'm so sorry. Don't worry about that.

They know, right? Exactly. They know. So it takes a minute, and I'm gentle about it in the beginning, but I'm very clear, and I make sure that they read the contract with that. And then there are times, you know, when I'm a little bit more flowy, if they need my support. I can tell the difference between a client who needs my true support and a client who just doesn't. So flow is very important to me, and it's become something that I work really, really hard to you. Is that a vague— I don't know, that seems like—

no, no, it's not. I think I have a client, I love her to death, she says it so well, and I'll just use her words, which is she knows where her priorities—

yes—

are, right? And she knows how to flow so that her priorities are kept. Like, she's like, you know, that's just what I do. And I— that's what I hear you saying right now. It's like, I hear you saying that to find all of the things you need to be you and do what you do, you have found the flow of honoring your priorities.

Yes. And I want to add to that, as an entrepreneur who's moving into the next space for myself, right, our coach Renee said something. She's like, we learn to be okay in the space we're in, we get comfortable with that, and then we move on, right? We kind of embrace the space we're in because we're making room for more things. So as things start to grow, right, as an entrepreneur, this is what I love, and I'm going to just say it straight out, I love the fact that I can set my own time. I have time freedom. I have time freedom. And you know what? As my clients, the support is there. But understand that as an entrepreneur, I'm very— what's the word? I become a Rottweiler when it comes to my— you know what I mean?

Oh, I know. I don't think the people listening know, but I know because I've seen it.

That's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of being an entrepreneur is that if I say, look, this is how it's going to be, you're still going to get what you got to get. Yeah, I promise you that. But do you want half of me that's exhausted and doesn't know my space, or do you want all of me who knows exactly where I am, can give you exactly what you're paying for, right? So, and, and my clients beautifully have fallen into alignment as I'm becoming more of that person. I'm getting clients who align with that. Yes, my old— my older clients are learning to align with it. My new clients, I don't even have a question with, but they're just like, okay, whatever you say. Whatever you say, I'll work with whatever you have. But you know, it's, it's growth, right? Yeah.

I'm being incredibly transparent when I say this, AKA don't be coming to me acting like you don't know, okay?

Well, if they do it, I'm like, look, I told you.

Oh my goodness. So let's, let's distill 3 things. You know, I have a thing with 3s. I have always had a thing with 3s. I mean, it's the photography of me, but What are 3 things that people can do to step into overcoming some trauma and tapping more into confidence? Like, what's 3 things they need to start being more aware of or start to do?

Great question. Awareness is a relative thing, right? People say, I'm aware. Are you really? Right? It becomes relative. So start— I would say if you sense that there's something that's not right, not feeling right, hone in on that. Don't be afraid of it. Ask it, what's going on? What's really happening here? What is my body and mind trying to tell me? So that awareness, self-awareness in that way, is very important. A lot of times when my clients come to me, they're self-aware in relation to how others view them, but not how do they view themselves, right? So that starts immediately with my clients, because if you're going to grow into a confident person, The whole epitome, the essence of confidence is knowing how to validate yourself, learning how to validate you and know what you are, who you are and what you bring to the table. So that's the very first thing I say. If you feel, if you sense that you're becoming aware, it's okay that you're afraid. Fear is part of the process. However, start small. Ask yourself, what's really going on? What's happening? Where in my body do I feel this? And then Take a deep breath and journal about it. See what it tells you, even if it's not too heavy, right? So that's kind of a twofold, that's a two-step process there. Then when you hear your body, just start paying attention to how you talk to yourself. Just start listening to yourself, right? There's this thing, and I had to refer to this to a client yesterday. We live in a culture of dos and don'ts and shoulds and shouldn'ts. And, you know, and it literally feels— for a hypersensitive person who has been through severe trauma, it feels like bricks being thrown at their face constantly, right? So pay attention to those things. Do you say to yourself, I should be doing this, I should be doing that? And see if you can lightly reframe that with, you know what, I recognize I need to do that, and I will when I'm ready. So start listening to yourself and your body, like listening to awarenesses. Take a deep breath and try to journal it out and start listening to your negative self-talk.

Yeah, I think those are so important.

And I—

yeah. So you also have something that we're going to put in the show notes for folks to grab, which is like 3 Steps to Confidence, and we'll have that in our show notes. How else can folks find you? Online?

Well, currently I am on Instagram as Wellness Chic Coaching, and from there you can get to my Linktree, which sends you to my website. Currently I am doing— I'm in the process of doing a small group coaching program for the summer, so I am at capacity for that. It's closed for the summer, but I am— I have availability for 1 or 2 clients between August and September. So they can reach me through the website to book a one-on-one 30-minute discovery call. And I'm also going to be working on my signature program for the fall. So that's going to be exciting. Yeah. Which really hones in on the 5-step method, my 5-step blueprint. I love it so much. You know, anyways, yeah, those— there'll be more information on that. So keep an eye out on the website. It'll be there soon.

Well, thank you so much for coming on the show and being you and being like my bestie in so many different ways. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you, my friend. It has been such a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

All right, y'all, that's a wrap. Thank you for listening, and I hope this conversation inspired you. Be sure to visit the website at craftedtothrive.com to check out the show notes and grab all the goodies that I or the guests mentioned in the show. Join us for our next one. In the meantime, remember, you are crafted to thrive.