Ways to Travel With Chronic Illness with Violet Denise

I am really looking forward to you hearing this episode. So I recorded this episode earlier in the year, and full disclosure, I am a little bit behind with my interviews of other amazing women on the show. I don't know how I got so behind, but I did. So over the next couple of weeks, you guys are gonna get some bonus episodes, including some solo episodes that you can listen to into the new year. But this episode is really important and really special in the sense that a lot of us are traveling. A lot of us are going through different challenges in this new world where we're living with COVID-19 and also living with our chronic illnesses and our disabilities that we have going on. So in this episode, this is going— we're going to be talking about this. And I want to like give a disclosure or trigger disclosure that this might trigger you because Our guest Violet is sharing a very real story where she has been battling and trying to find the answers to her undiagnosed chronic pain and disability for 20+ years. And I know so many of you have similar stories or know others who have. So I really hope that you feel seen and heard with the different challenges that Violet shares, but also listen to the things that she did in order to overcome the mental health journey that came along with, and that comes along with, an undiagnosed health condition that she's been searching for answers for. Violet and her husband started a Black-owned luxury travel agency based in Miami, Florida during the pandemic, y'all. So she definitely understands what it means to be starting a business while living with chronic illness. And one of the things I really appreciate about Violet's story is that she even though has had ups and downs and really low lows, she still has found a way to become more hopeful and a way to advocate for others when it comes to mental health, as well as those who are wanting to live a more fulfilling life while living with chronic illness. She makes a point in this episode to share different ways that those with disabilities and chronic illnesses can prepare in advance for being travelers in this world and having some of the things that needs to be, um, made up front to know in order to make sure that you're comfortable and you are taken care of, whether you're on a plane, a cruise boat, or wherever, or in a hotel or whatever the case may be. And also if you're not quite ready to get on a plane and you want to figure out how can you travel locally without costing or having a budget that's sky high. So this episode is really, really, really dear to my heart. I'm sorry you guys are just getting to listen to it, but you definitely want to listen to this episode all the way through because there are different gems along the way that Violet shares with us that is going to be helpful for you if you're living with chronic illness, you do not have a diagnosis, and you have a business, and you want to travel and experience life even though you've got all this stuff going on. So Stay tuned. You're listening to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast, and this is your host Nikita Williams Williams. On this show, we're talking about what it's like to start, grow, and scale a business while living with chronic illness. You will hear from other creatives and CEOs as they share their stories and the lessons that led them to learn to lean more into what worked for them. You'll discover that success Success does not mean perfection, and fear, negative thoughts, and challenges are all a part of the journey, but there's always an abundance of wins. So stay tuned and you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to craft a life and business that thrives. I'm so excited to have Violet on the show because she's amazing and I just love her bright soul and she's just such a sweetheart. Um, what she's doing in the travel industry I think is really great, so I'm not going to tell you all about it, but I'm gonna let you introduce yourself.

Hi, I'm Violet Dennis. My husband and I started a Black-owned travel agency, luxury travel agency, that's based in Miami, Florida. We are still in the inception stage, so we're about 7 months old at this point. We'll be 8 months at the end of March, and we are still building our foundation and, and the blueprint for what we're trying to do for our vision. One of the things that we do is network with different Black and brown business owners, and I'll just save the rest for later.

Well, thank you so much for coming on. I think it's so good to have, um, people like you on the show because I feel like, um, often— I should say often— I have people on the show who've been in business for a long time or in the middle and not anyone who has been like just starting in a kind of way. So this is going to be fun because I feel like it's going to present what we all experience in a different way. So what led you guys to starting this business? Like, what, what's the foundation of why you guys are doing this?

Um, a sister friend of mine from Virginia, a lady that I used to— a sister that I used to go to church with in Virginia, um, she actually called me up after we had relocated Florida, and she kind of knew my, my situation, my background with my health issues. And then I stopped, um, you know, I had left the workplace, traditional workplace. So she actually brought me into the travel business, travel and tourism business, as an independent home-based agent. She signed me up and got me started. And, um, I had already been looking with my husband at other host agencies, but we just never actually, you know, we're kind of skeptical about it. Um, but because it came through this particular person, I was like, okay, let's give it a try. And that's how we got into it, like You know, officially.

I love that story because I feel like there's things in my journey where if it weren't for the person to bring it to me, I probably would have said no because of my preconceived ideas about it.

A lot of things out here that you do have to be mindful of and a lot of people and scams and, you know, all sorts of stuff going on. I understand.

Yeah. Yeah. So tell me about like your challenges with your health because so you just mentioned that was something that led you kind of here. You know, a friend reached out to you to share with you some other ways to bring income into your to your life. So how has your health journey kind of led you to this place right now?

That's a very— that's like a book.

So let me, let me, let me caveat it. Let me, let me say like, what made you feel like working for yourself because of your health situation has brought you to here? That it makes it a little bit more concise, maybe.

Okay, so I didn't just— okay, so when I dropped out of the traditional workforce, my background is actually as an administrative professional for local or municipal governments. Um, I started out, um, with the, with a local, a pretty large local municipal government here in Miami, Florida. And then when I went to— when I moved to Virginia in my late 20s, I ended up stuck in an entry-level position for something that I was way too overqualified to do. And then I did end up getting bumped up when I left and went to another municipal government. So my background is pretty much administrative. And then when I, when I ended up leaving the workforce, that was, that was half of our income. And we just— I was— I got married late in life. I got married at 35. And then we had our miracle baby, who I wasn't even aware I could have at 36. And, um, pretty much after that, my health continued to plummet. It was just a really, you know, unending downward spiral, so to say. Um, so, you know, basically we are, are making it through prayer and help from my, from my family. My mother, my father passed a few, about a year after I moved here. And, uh, you know, we're trying to get back on our feet. We did have another business in Virginia, but it was part of a franchise So that the dynamics of that was a little different. Plus it was like a lot of overhead expenses. It was a brick and mortar business, whereas this business is not. We don't have the same expenses that we did with the previous business. So we're hoping that this will be a business that we can use to catapult ourselves back into a better financial situation and not only just be able to take care of ourselves and our family, but also to help other people along the way.

Yeah, I think what— I think we've all— I know for myself, I can just say, speak for myself, there have been times in my life where I was definitely working at a job that I was overqualified for. I was passed up for promotions or other jobs because of my health situation. I mean, if I knew what I knew now living with chronic illness, there are things that I probably would have done differently now that I know we actually have, you know, laws that protect us from that kind of stuff. But I didn't know, like, and I think specifically women and Black women don't have that knowledge. So we kind of just, we end up doing something like this. We start our own business. We're like, oh, forget it, I'm just doing my own thing. And so I think it's really great for you and your family to kind of support you in building this up for yourself and your family so you guys can get to where you want to go. So my question next is kind of like, what about your health challenges makes this business either work for you or make it harder for you?

I think it is a double-edged sword, um, because one of the things that I suffer with is extreme chronic fatigue. Um, I am in my— my health journey started over 20-plus years ago, so over half of my life. I just turned 45 actually.

So, and y'all, she don't look like it, I promise you. Okay, I'm just saying, I've been saying this a lot lately, I'm like, Black don't crack, and that's the truth.

Thank you so much. Yes, I just turned 45 literally on March 5th. My health journey started in my early 20s. I was in a really car accident on I-95 in Miami with one of my childhood friends. The car seat that I was sitting in on the passenger side was actually broken, and we were rear-ended a couple of times. So I have some injuries from that particular accident to this very day that none of the doctors believed I had, and no one tried to investigate. No one, no one tried to help me. No one helped me deal with the pain. He told me it was in my mind, and because I didn't have, um, My parents were from a generation where they didn't believe in going to the doctors and hospital unless you was literally, you know, probably near death. And even at that point, they probably would just die at home. You know, I had no previous experience with the medical community or knowledge about doctors and doctor staff and, you know, how patients' rights and, you know, mistreatment and all that kind of stuff. So pretty much until my late 30s, so that was about the first 10 years, I was ignored and told it was in my head. And I was continually getting worse.

So I was chugging bottles of every week, every other week.

And I was drinking like up to 2-liter or multiple 2-liter things of Pepsi and Coca-Cola to get through work, to make it through the pain, to stay awake because the chronic fatigue kicked in right after that accident along with the pain in my body. And it wasn't until my late 30s— well, after I had my son— no, no, no, no, right before I had my son, when I met my husband, the year I met my husband, I lost feeling in the left side of my body. And then I actually was, was completely punched over, like almost touching my knees. And I had to grab the walls, cars, people, anything in order to pull myself to walk from the parking lot to get into my job. And it was a long walk back in Chesapeake, Virginia. You know, so when I— the year I met my husband, I'll say I met him in January. When fall came and the weather changed and got cold, that's when everything just started going like, pshh. And I had no idea what was going on. And that's when doctors first started trying to help find out what was going on with me. So at this point, I'm still being diagnosed at 45. They still don't have an actual treatment plan for me. So I've been pretty much medicated, given a lot of prescription drugs. I take bags full of drugs every day. And now I had to go and purchase during the pandemic my own mobility scooter because it got to the point where I could no longer get around on my own. I was getting stuck when I tried to go out and run errands when my husband was at work. And so now I'm to the point where I only physically go out with my husband present because he's the one who puts my mobility scooter together.

Girl, that is a lot. That is so much. And to, on top of that, to have, you know, doctors telling you that it's in your head or it's not real or not even trying to help you get to the answers um, is really difficult. I can only— I can imagine. Yeah. So what has been helping you get through?

Um, I'll tell you, at first it was my, my faith in God, my trust in God, my belief in God. Um, and then that became a little challenged along the way because I was actually going to a healing ministry. I was part of the healing ministry, and I seemed to be one of the people at the ministry that did not receive healing. So then, um, a lot of, uh, I guess certain things was said along the way, not necessarily particularly at the ministry that I was part of. I really don't remember fully, but I know that at the time our church did close eventually, um, because he went on to do international ministry. Um, but you know, I've heard in different religious environments where faith-based environments where they say that if you are not healed, it's because you're either committing some kind of horrible sin in your life, or because you don't have enough faith to get healed. And, you know, that may not necessarily be true or applicable to that person in their particular situation. As we know, there's a lot of Christian people that, you know, have passed away due to chronic health issues, conditions, illnesses, and diseases. And it may not have been particularly because they were committing some type of grave sin or because they didn't want to be healed. I can't say that I've ever met another Christian person like me who never wanted to be healed. I pray for that all the time. So I experienced some hurt along the way from different things. And, you know, I had to do my own study and research to understand that those statements were made from a place of lack of knowledge or wisdom, and also a lack of empathy and use of the fruits of the Spirit. So, you know, maturing in age and experience and understanding, that helped me deal with that part. But then I ended up going through a deep depression. And when my pain levels were so, so high and intolerable and just unrelentless for 24 hours, 48 hours, and more, I could just ball up in a dark corner in the freezing cold and just boo-hoo cry because of how much pain I was in. And I wasn't getting any relief. So I dealt with having— on the outside, I look like I'm OK. And my family, my friends, everyone thinks I'm OK. But on the inside, my body is not well and I'm falling apart, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. So I went through a period of darkness recently, not like yesterday, but about a year or two ago. I just came out of this phase. I'll say probably right before the pandemic, I started transitioning and I was dealing with mental health issues where I did not want to live anymore. I just felt like, you know, if maybe not waking up would be better than having to feel what I'm feeling and nobody understanding what I'm going through. Um, so that took me to a dark, a dark road, a dark season for a period of time. And then I sought out mental health counseling, um, and I do take medication for depression, and, um, that kind of helped out a little bit. And then plus, you know, talking about what I'm going through, um, again with my sister friend, my husband, you know, and eventually I was able to get through that. There was a lot of prayer for me, um, you know, people that really was behind the scenes that have been praying for me that I didn't even know were praying for me. And I eventually did overcome that. So now I joined the Florida Suicide Prevention Coalition, and I'm hoping that when I have the energy and strength to do so, that I'll be able to come alongside them in some type of supportive capacity, whether it's writing or something else to help behind the scenes or remotely from home.

Yeah, I mean, this is the part that nobody wants to talk about, right? When it comes to chronic pain, everybody wants to talk about, you know, eating right and sleeping and all these things. Exercise. Yes, all of those things. But no one is, you know, I shouldn't say no one, it has changed quite a bit. I feel especially during the pandemic, more people are talking about the mental effect that chronic anything, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic has an effect on your mind. The mind-body connection is not separate. It is a completely connected thing. And to hear, you know, hear you openly share about that, I've shared too, in the show myself. I've had times where there are those times where I was like, you know what, if I don't wake up tomorrow, I'm, I'm okay. There's much— I have a bigger hope later, right? Like, and it's just, it's a, it's a hard thing to come to, right? Because of being so tired of being in pain and being in a world that does not allow the space for you to have that pain and not just keep pushing through. So I just want to say thank you for sharing your story because I think there are so many women and just people in general who are going through really hard physical times that are also taxing on their mind, that has them in this place, and they're wondering, can I get out of this? Is there something else? And I love that for you, what— taking care of yourself, seeking help, and then wanting to help others through that pain to see like you're not alone, you're, you know, you're here, is a beautiful thing. And I think that's something we can connect on, you and I, definitely. Like, that's part of the reason why I have this podcast, is just for women to know like, hey, yeah, we're strong, um, but we're also, you know, human. We, we have, we have weaknesses. And yes, the world expects women to put on their bikinis and just do, right? And just be, especially women of color where that is what we are told. But it doesn't mean that what we have experienced or what we're going through is any less significant to our mental health.

Yes, yes, that's true. And I'll tell you, I've even read articles and it's actually my own personal experience too where you may have significant others such as maybe your spouse or your companion or a sibling or a parent who may not even believe you. May not believe that you're sick at all, or, you know, they're constantly, you know, um, what's the word I want to use, um, constantly they're abrasive towards you. They're constantly, you know, trying to provoke a response out of you or make you upset on purpose, or, you know, they're just really contentious with you. And that was something I had to deal with with my own mother. My, I'm multiracial, so I'm Black, I'm Asian, and I'm Bahamian. So my mother is an immigrant to this country. She's actually Chinese. And it was very difficult for her to believe that something was actually wrong with me. Even, you know, with her physical eyes, even though it was hurting her to see me in certain conditions, especially when I'm in a lot of pain and I have difficulty getting up and walking or standing up straight, you know, even though she acknowledged that she saw it, she still could not mentally come to terms with the fact that her only child, you know, was struggling in that way. So she was in denial, and she was in denial for a very long time. To the point where, you know, I'll say up until the pandemic, you know, she even told me not to even tell her what my conditions were or what happened when I went to the doctor because she didn't want to know. It was too much for her to deal with.

Yeah, that's another conversation that we do here. We don't have enough about— I mean, I can relate in the context of there's this underlying shaming that happens with people, even if they believe you, but they also feel like, well, I mean, it can't be that bad. It's like that in their mind. Well, it can't be that bad, like, mindset. And, you know, I get that a lot of that has to do with other people's trauma, other people's, you know, being raised a certain way or thinking. I know, like you were mentioning, like, generationally you don't trust doctors. And in my family's generation, it's just like, you just be strong, you push through it, like, you just do. And it's still a mindset that's still very prevalent today. And it's like, I think in general, there's a lot since the pandemic. There's a lot of people who are realizing that is not— that's not healthy in any way to perform, whether you're dealing with chronic illness or just life, like pushing through all the time. So how are you using this experience? Because I'm a believer that when you're going through these different things, it's really hard once you get out of— while you're in it, right? Like mentally in it. Like you haven't gotten to the space to know I need help or to ask for help. But now that you're on this side of it, I should say, where the pain is still there, still struggling with the things, but the mindset around it is a bit different, right? How are you using that to empower others besides telling your story in what you plan on doing? Because I know we talked a while ago about how you want to make, you know, this travel world and the industry of travel feel accessible to even us who have physical disabilities or chronic illness. Like, how are you and, you know, your business and your husband going to bring that to, to the fore? Because it's so—

it's—

yeah, I'll let you talk about it because I just— when you, when you shared this with me light bulb. I was like, why didn't I think of this? I don't even know why. But anyway, please share with us.

Well, let me backtrack to the workforce for a quick second because I know we both talked about that. We touched on that in the beginning too. Another thing that I experienced and that I've read online in different communities that other people have experienced too was the shame and the guilt that they received at the workplace. It was like a countdown when you had FMLA or whatever, you get like 300 hours when you're out of pay status. Before they can start the paperwork to fire you. So it's like, you know, I went through this, this, this. I had this one horrible job, the one where I was the entry-level position in Virginia, and I was there for like 5, no, 6 years, and I was stuck there. And it was just such a demoralizing position to be in where I did not know what was going on. I was young. I didn't know what was going on with me and my health. I didn't understand why I was getting worse and worse and worse. And my job, my coworkers, and the supervisor They treated me like I was faking it and they didn't have any concern for me or care for me. And it was like she started the countdown, the sticks, writing every time I'm out, how many hours on what days, and it's like adding up. This is how many hours you have left. She would come to me every week or every month and tell me how many hours I have left before I'm out of FM. So basically it's like a countdown of when we're going to start the paperwork to fire you. So you're already stuck in like this dead-end job. I was single at the time. I didn't have a boyfriend. I wasn't married. I didn't have family. I was thousands and thousands of miles away. I was by myself. I'm a single child. I had some new friends that I just connected with over Virginia, but I was primarily on my own. And I'm thinking I'm dying. And my job was the source of just such horrible, horrible mental stress because that was my only source to take care of myself. That's my cat. I'm sorry.

It's okay. Because my cat was just doing the same thing. I was like, really? It's okay.

But, you know, it was such a hard— thank you. It was just such a horrible experience because, you know, they made one supervisor that wasn't even my direct supervisor, she came to me and she told me out of her own mouth that you're making it harder for other people, which was completely not true because I was doing the work for my supervisor, one of her staff members, a person that was getting paid way more money than me for a division manager, as well as the assistant, as well as the director's office administrative assistant, and the front office for our department across the hall from my office where I was responsible for the front office. So my entry-level job, which I was completely, completely being fully taken advantage of, and they, like you said, passed up for promotions. Let me tell you how bad it was. When I left that job, they reclassified my job to the correct job classification and bumped up the salary to the correct salary.

That's how you can't find somebody else to do all of that.

Yeah, that's, that's what happened. So what am I doing through this business? I know that I cannot actually be a reliable travel advisor because sometimes I'm completely incapacitated to the point where I cannot take care of myself. I can't put myself together, I can't get out of the bed, I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't take care of my child, I can't do anything except for be incapacitated. So what my experience I learned from what I went through in the traditional workforce is that We— uh-oh, in disability. I earned the credits for disability, but they told me that I was not qualified for disability. So what did I learn from these life experiences? I learned that you really do— there are some people in life that you're really going to have to work harder than what you see other people may look like they're working as hard in their lives. Or some people just seem to just automatically qualify for things, and other people just seem to not qualify for whatever reason, even if it's similar cases. So I've, you know, I've experienced that. I've seen that and I've experienced the hardship of trying to be alone, have nobody in your corner, no support when you get home through the door. And also, you know, the agony of working through pain in a traditional job. So working as an independent travel agency, like we're getting ready to structure our agency as a host agency. So when I have the opportunity to help people work remotely from home, do something at their own pace and what they're comfortable with doing. So that's, that's one way. Another way is that, like you said, a lot of minority people, not just African Americans, but Latinos and Asians, we see that there are a lot of people that get— Native Americans— that we get passed up for opportunities and things, but yet we get all the work to do and not the pay to do it. So what my husband started doing is when we started the business on his own, unbeknownst to me, he just started collaborating and networking with other Black and brown entrepreneurs and small business owners, and he came up with his own concierge list that he, that he has internally, that when we have clients that come to us for specific travel or trip planning or event needs, we, we have— he has his own network where he will go to those, those businesses first and see if they're available to provide service or fill the need. And if none of them are available, then we go through our traditional travel agency route. And the reason why we're doing this is because you don't get these opportunities and chances unless someone opens the door for you. And a lot of times the people that open— there's a— okay, a lot of times you're going to find closed doors. Even for us, even though we have our own travel agency, we don't qualify for the traditional small business loans. We don't qualify for lines of credit. It's just so many things that we do not qualify for, and we have to literally come out of our own pockets, even if we don't have the pockets for it. And yet we keep seeing all these articles and all these news announcements and briefings that the government has released millions and billions of money for small business owners and for minority business owners and for Black business owners. And yet everyone that's participating in even the business cohorts that I have been a part of, going to all these small business development or Small Business Administration seminars online, no matter what environment I go to, including with the US Black Caucus, um, um, the National Black Urban League, Everyone is saying the same thing in the same rooms where we're not getting the money. We're getting disqualified before we can even get to the money. Everyone is having the same issues. So we also find ourselves in a situation where, like, as we learn and grow, we're going to have to teach other people how to do so as well. So that's part of the plan, is to teach each one, teach one, and hopefully we can start a domino effect that way. The other part is advocacy. There is now a movement within the travel and tourism industry to try to diversify and bring inclusion into the mix. And this is something that a lot of people don't realize either. Minority travel dollars and also disabled travelers, we make up a huge chunk of the money coming into the travel and tourism industry every single year. Less than 3% of the marketing and advertising is even directed towards minority travelers or disabled travelers. So this is something else that we want to help come alongside of what's going on. There's a movement for ableism travel and how can we, we travel while disabled with our equipment and everything else that we may need. And then there's also a movement to have more diversity inclusion when it comes to the travel and tourism industry because we're spending the money to go to these places around the world, not just even in the United States, but we're still experiencing Prejudice, discrimination, racism. We're not getting the same treatment as non-minority travelers are. So, you know, we hope that we can come alongside our customers who aren't just Black and brown. We have customers every race, but we hope that when we do have customers who are clients who experience these types of things, that we'll be able to find out how to be the voice for them, be proactive, and help spread the word on what they experience at the places that they may have experienced these things at as well.

Yeah, I mean, there's so much there that we could unpack. There's so much there that we can unpack. I know that Nikita Williams of Chronic Con, she— me and her were chatting recently and she was telling me, she's like, "I love me some Violet." And because she's like, she's saying what I've been saying too, which is there is— there is like, you don't— you won't see— we don't see disabled people experiencing travel in an advertisement. Like you just don't. Like, you know, this isn't a— like you would imagine, like when we were talking about this, I'm like, yeah, I mean, I mean, if there was an ad about like, come to this Sandals resort and experience the most comfort, whatever, and have acupuncture to relieve your chronic pain and yada yada yada, at least acknowledge that's in the room of why people are doing that. They aren't. And it's like as if it doesn't exist. And it's like, no, it does. And more than half of the United States population alone, if not more, has a chronic illness or disability. So even more reason why, and we're not just all being like, you know, hermits and staying at home. We do enjoy the occasional going out and stuff and doing things and traveling. But I think it's so powerful that you are incorporating that into what you guys are doing, just, you know, sharing that with the community and letting people know that there are, one, rights for when you travel, when you're dealing with disability, when you live with that, and that, two, you are seen. I think that's the biggest thing, like you are seen and heard and it matters, like not just like putting you in a shadow somewhere.

Yeah, and we can thank Target, Barbie, Mattel, you know, they started doing some other toy manufacturers too. They started, you know, including, you know, dolls dolls with, with, um, what do you call it, wheelchairs.

Wheelchairs.

Yes. Um, so you see autistic dolls now, um, and you see in the advertising and marketing that Target was one of the first retailers recently to actually start doing, doing that, to include ableism as part of their advertising and marketing. And they, they actually received like rave reviews and, and kudos and thanks, um, especially from parents with children, um, that, that have these special needs or disabilities and, you know, the community just applauded them for being one of the first retailers to do so. So that's awesome. You know, that's the first step, but we do have a long way to go into making everyone feel welcome. And, you know, our previous United States president, you know, kind of set us backwards for a little while in regards to, you know, the human aspect of being cordial to each other and respecting each other's differences and individuality. And then to see the response from the business community and corporate communities to create advertisements and commercials where now you even see mixed race couples, you see white, Latino, Asian, Black spouses, marriage partners, or whatever, with children. And we weren't seeing this 10 years ago. So this is some of the first steps. It's like, wait a minute, the younger generation have it. They don't see— because when I was growing up, Being multiracial was completely bizarre. It was just unheard of and it was not liked at all. So I endured a lot of prejudice and discrimination and racism when I went out and about with my mother because we lived in a predominantly Black community at the time. So it was a lot of anger and hostility towards us, nasty dirty looks, nasty treatment. And then, you know, to be 45 years old in a generation, see these younger generations, they're completely colorblind. The majority of the families where I am in Miami, Florida, which is already a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities, you know, you see blended multiracial families, that the kids and the parents come from all sorts of ethnic backgrounds and cultural backgrounds and whatnot. So it's beautiful for even someone as myself to see these changes, and these are the people, these generations that are going to be able to make the difference. And we saw that during the pandemic with what happened with George Floyd and some of the other people, um, Aubrey, um, the young lady that was killed in her own home. I forgot her name. Do you remember who I'm talking about?

I don't remember her name. I want to say it was Breonna something.

Yes, Breonna Taylor. And, you know, we saw that we were getting killed even during a worldwide pandemic. So these are changes that we need to see happen in our society, and then to see it resonate around the world, because we know we were shipped to all other parts of the world where they also encountered slaves. And, you know, they have people— I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but even in Latino communities, there is prejudice and racism against darker-skinned Latinos as well. So to see these changes also is really a beautiful thing.

Yeah, it is. And I think it kind of like ties back into what we were talking about. It's just like allowing people to be seen and heard. You know, we all have to live. You know, the sun and the moon and the rain and the sunshine falls on us all. Fall in one corner of the world. That's, you know, the beautiful gift that God has given us, that we all get what we are supposed to need every single day. And so it doesn't matter who you are, where you are, what you do, we still have that human right to be seen and heard and taken care of. So, um, I would love for you to share a couple tips for people who are wanting to travel who may have disabilities or chronic illness. Like, one, when it comes to financially planning something like that. And then two, if finances is not an issue for you, but just like the accessibility of traveling, how to make that less of a stress, how— can people, you know, what can they do to make travel more a part of what they experience?

Now, I'm still learning and investigating about the airlines, because as we know, the airlines industry has just gotten a lot of flak about the handling of the wheelchairs. And we just lost someone from the ableist community who incurred bedsores and sores around her entire body She had circulation issues. Her wheelchair was actually specially customized for her body and her health conditions. And when she had no choice but to travel by airplane, they completely destroyed that wheelchair. She ended up being hospitalized eventually a few months later. I think they said about 2, 3 months later, and she died from the issues and the conditions that she had because of the loss of that wheelchair. And of course, you know, you have a customized wheelchair. It's not something that you're just going to get. And, you know, it's something that's going to be very costly too. So that was a big wake-up call to the airlines industry in regards to how they care for and throw our wheelchairs and whatnot into the luggage area. I mean, we know our luggage is damaged.

Yeah, I can't imagine.

Yeah, exactly. I have a new grandbaby in Virginia that I would love to go see, but I cannot travel with my husband and my son at this time to do so. And I do need my mobility scooter because I, like I said, I don't know, I might make it to the door of a store, but I might not be able to turn around and get back to the car. So I don't know when it's going to happen, I just know that it does happen and I need my mobility scooter and I'm not going to put it on an airplane and pay high fares to get it there. But let me tell you, we are an accessible travel agency. So we have a vendor that delivers mobility mobility carts to your cruise ship cabin or to certain luxury resorts and hotels. They have white glove service. They will deliver it and put it together, not only mobility carts but also portable oxygen masks, wheelchairs, walkers, bed lifts, recliners with lifts, and also bathroom aids for the toilet and for the shower and tub. So there, there is a way that you can go through your travel agent or travel agency and find out if they are partners with an accessible travel vendor. And that's one way you can prepare in advance. You know, using a mobility scooter or having to use certain bathroom aids or whatever, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have a complete disability or that, you know, most people don't want to say, hey, this is bothering me, and they don't want to be looked at as, oh, you know, I'm trying to take advantage of my situation. But we all know that sometimes some of us have injuries, been in car accidents, We're just aging and our energy levels are different, or we might have invisible illnesses or disability.

It doesn't matter.

You can still use a mobility cart. You can use the mobility cart to help conserve your energy. And instead of walking and trying to push yourself through your low energy or your pain, you can just use a mobility scooter and get around. And there's no shame in it. In Las Vegas, people rent them that have no ailments or disability whatsoever. And they're doing it as joyriding in groups and having fun. There's lights and music on those mobility scooters in Las Vegas. And they're zipping through the crowds and they don't have to walk and they can put their bags on. So you don't have to be ashamed to use a mobility scooter. And that was something that I had to come to terms with myself, using canes, using walkers, using rollators. And then now the disability of the mobility scooter, it's something that I'm still coming to terms with internally also. So I think I've only been seen in one picture on social media where I was actually sitting in my mobility scooter. All my pictures— and I'm a big girl and a tall girl— all my pictures are always close up like this. You know, when you see me in person, you're like, wow, she's like as tall as Queen Latifah and plump and big. And you know, I try to hide it all as much as I can.

You're beautiful, girl.

Thank you so much. You are too, Nikita. But okay, so aside from the mobility carts and all that kind of stuff, um, money-wise, we talked about this one-on-one before, that you can, you know do things that are similar to getting away but not, not fully. Like you say, for instance, you want to feel like you, you went to a resort for a day or something. Another tip that I gave before was instead of, instead of actually paying $1,200 a night for a luxury hotel or resort, you can get a resort day pass online. Just type in resort day pass and they'll pop right up. And you can get yourself like starting from $25 and up a pass to go access the swimming pool, get rent a cabana, you can, you can go to the restaurants or utilize the spa at the, at the luxury hotel or resort, and you have your day away from home that feels like an escape, even though you didn't have to go far away, and even though you didn't pay the Escape Dollars. You can take your spouse, you can, you can take your kids, you can take yourself by yourself, you can take your girls, whoever you want to take with you. And, you know, you guys just buy the resort pass and it feels like you actually got a break. That's one way to do it. And then the other way to do it is if you have a lot of money and you feel like, hey, go big or go home and ball till you fall, you could do that Yeah, well, I love those tips, especially the one about the—

what is it called— the mobility cart. I have had to use that over the last— since the pandemic, there have been times where I was in so much pain that, you know, I needed to go grocery shopping, but I probably wouldn't make it out the Publix if I didn't have a cart. And you're right, that is something to get used to from an inside-out kind of place. Like, there's no shame in it. It is what it is that you need to use sometimes, or it is what you use, and that's fine. But I think there is a lot of self-love and compassion we need to give ourselves in those things. And I think it's also one of those things like, um, when you're traveling, it's also the thing maybe mentally you don't want to be like, I don't want to be a burden on anybody, um, by having to have them have this for you. But that is— that's part of the vacation, right? To make sure you feel relaxed and feel good and don't feel like, you know, you're pushing through on the pain again and travel. Like, let's not do that.

Yeah, especially like, say, if you, you have a big family reunion, a wedding, an anniversary, a renewal of vows, whatever the case, graduation, whatever the occasion is. What about our elderly people? Do you really want them to just miss out and hear the stories when you come visit them? Hey, this is what happened at the event. No, why don't you bring grandma, grandpa, great-grandma, great-grandpa along? They don't have to stay home, you know. And a lot of people don't realize that these things are available to them as options, you know, that even, you know, for their elderly, for the elderly community. And I'll tell you something, I, when I was younger, I went to volunteer one day at an elderly community that was near me. It was an assisted living facility, and the lady did not speak English. I don't know what she was saying, but she grabbed my hand from her wheelchair and she just started crying and talking nonstop, and I did not know what she was saying, and it broke my heart. And whenever you go to any of these assisted living facilities, the workers always tell you the same thing. The families put them there and then they forget about them. They don't come see them or anything. And then, you know, like when the pandemic first happened, you saw what happened in California. The cook and the security guard stayed behind because the facility administrators, they didn't transfer the patients They just left them there to die. So the cook and the security guard, they spent around 24 hours making sure that whatever medicine was still there available to the patients, the patients got. And they cooked food for them, and they bathed them, and showered them, wiped them down. They turned them in the beds and everything. We have to do better with our elderly community. Yeah, we do.

I agree. It's a thing that I— yeah, I've talked about this before on the show, just about how— I mean, we all wouldn't be here without that community. Like, we all wouldn't be here without the ones that are in, in those assisted livings, or our grandpas, our grandparents. Like, we wouldn't be here without them, and we can't just discard them because now they're older and they can't do as much for themselves. We are— we, we have plenty of capacity to take care of them and show love because they gave a whole bunch of it to us. So I agree with you, um, on that level. So many things. Um, well, there's so much in this episode that I'm sure— I don't know, we'll try to figure out how to get this all within the 45 minutes. I may have to speed up the audio, but Please tell us how we can find you and support you and SoFlo Luxury Bookings.

So Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook is just @soflo, S-O-F-L-O Luxury Bookings with an S. Um, that's Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. That's our actual pages. And then, um, our website is www.sofloluxurybookings.com.

Awesome. I will have a link to all of that in the chat.

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me as a guest on your show and and give me the opportunity to share about my own personal story as well. I really appreciate it.

All right, y'all, that's a wrap. Thank you for listening, and I hope this conversation inspired you. Be sure to visit craftedtothrive.com to check out our show notes, connect with our guests, and grab some of those goodies. Join us for the next episode, and in the meantime, remember, yes, yes, yes, you are crafted to thrive.