What to Do When Your Body is Working Against You

You're listening to the She's Crafted to Thrive podcast, and this is your host Nikita Williams. On this show, we're talking about what it's like to start, grow, and scale a business while living with chronic illness. You will hear from other creatives and CEOs as they share their stories and the lessons that led them to learn to lean more into what works for them. You'll discover that success does not mean perfection, and fear, negative thoughts, and challenges are all a part of the journey, but there's always an abundance of wins. So stay tuned and you'll find the inspiration and tools you need to craft a life and business that thrives. Hey there, beautiful. I've got something for you. If you want to feel more ease and joy in your business without sacrificing your health, energy, and creativity, but you feel like you've got to, you know, pay your dues first, or you're feeling sort of lost in your business, then you want to check out my mini course, 5 Days to Getting Crystal Clear in Your Creative Business. Created this course to help you remove the frustration that's blocking you from receiving exactly what you want and go from stuck to creating the business that you want with ease and joy. So visit thrivewithnikita.com/minicourse and use the code THRIVE to get it free. Again, that's thrivewithnikita.com/minicourse and use the code THRIVE to get it free. That's my special gift to my podcast tribe. So go off and thrive. All right, let's hop on into this new episode. Enjoy. Welcome back to the She's Crafted to Thrive Show. I'm so excited that you're back. We are going to be chatting about how to get unstuck when you feel like your body is stuck. So this is continuing in our series on how to grow a creative service-based and coaching business while living with chronic illness. So this is for all my ladies who like have flare-ups, have random things happen, and you feel like when your body's having those moments, you have to have those moments. This is going to kind of help you reframe how you think about being stuck. So if you've listened to my Seasons of Being the season before this one. If you've listened to any of my podcasts, you guys know how I hate that feeling of stuck. I hate that feeling. I'm very aware of when that feeling happens. Uh, it's not fun. And I have learned a couple things in my tool belt to help me get unstuck. But one of the things that I don't talk about often is really about the thoughts behind why we feel quote unquote stuck, what's really happening, especially when we feel like our body has done this to us, right? And this is a new reframe that I've probably had for the last couple of years, probably since 2018, 2019, 2019, probably more on like how to reframe the thought about your body making your business and everything else in your life stuck. Um, so I'm gonna share it with you, and hopefully it will help you in your life and in your business. So this is gonna be a really quick one. So there are 3 things that I think will help you get unstuck when you feel like your body is. Number 1, I want you to challenge your thoughts about your body being in stuck mode. Yep, I want you to think about your thoughts. What do you think? What do you believe? What do feel when you feel that your body is in stuck mode? What if we were able to change that thought process around, that it is actually telling us to listen more carefully? And what is our body trying to tell us right now? Like, let's take a second here with that. Like, this is a huge shift from, man, my body is like making all of these things really hard and it's got me stuck and I can't do anything, right? We go into this what I call the I can't syndrome spell, the tunnel, the tunnel of nowhere. I can't take you nowhere. I know this. I have been there. I have continued to struggle with this. I see it with my clients. It's definitely something that we're always having to work through, but it's possible to reframe and reshift our thoughts and feelings about this. I have totally, in a lot of ways, like, I feel like I have embraced this so much and it's like one of my superpowers. And if you ask my clients, they feel like this too. Like when their body is having a flare-up or they're feeling stuck in doing something in their business, they go, okay, wait a minute, let me pause and really listen to myself. Let me listen to what my body is saying. What's been going on around me? What have I been thinking? What is my body trying to tell me right now? Right? When you shift from thinking I can't and I'm stuck to what do I need to learn or what do I need to be aware of, man, it opens up your possibilities of seeing something completely different. And it automatically shifts you out of feeling stuck to in action, in motion, literally. So what I have come to appreciate about this new way of thinking for myself is that I'm like I said in the last episode, our our bodies become hypersensitive. It had at some point become really numb to all of the things, but now I think it was more of my mind being numb. Like, I was just like, oh, it's just another flare and I'm stuck, right? But now I look at it at the smallest minuteness, like feeling or twinge, and I'm like, let me think about that. What did I do? Or did I do something to anger this part of my body that's just telling me— the anger is really just a a beautiful conversation with me to say— not beautiful, let's be real, it's pain. It's not, it's not fun. It's more of like, hey Nikita, what's going on? Did you— have you been stressing? Have you been holding on to something that you needed to say? Have you— are you trying to force yourself into this cookie cutter situation where you're not going to be able to fit and that's just not your thing? Like, that is something to think about. And if your body is physically in that way, it could be maybe you haven't really taken time to rest. Maybe you haven't done your stretching. Maybe you have been eating too much chocolate. That's been me, you guys. Like, side story, when I was growing up, I used to tell people I hate chocolate. I really did. I used to tell people that all the time. I think I probably even talked about it in the show. Um, I only like white chocolate. Y'all, I love all the chocolate. I just love it all. Like, I literally, since my IC with my chronic bladder pain, certain chocolates flare it up. And I didn't notice that because it's like new. I just started really loving chocolate over the last couple of years. And it could be, you know, Rona pandemic, new fascination. But I was like, oh my gosh, I don't think I realized how much chocolate I was eating because I had in my head that I don't like chocolate, but I keep eating chocolate. Like I eat the chocolate chips, I make drinks with chocolate, I order chocolate at Starbucks. Like I love chocolate now. So, I'm very pick— particular about the chocolate. Let me say that. But I do honestly love chocolate, especially when my husband makes this chocolate mousse. Oh my goodness. Okay, I'm coming back. So like, what is your body telling you? Are you eating too much of the thing that you know you probably shouldn't eat? Are you taking in caffeine when you know your body doesn't like caffeine? Are you not sleeping? Are you pushing through the pain and you haven't given your body time to recuperate? All of those things are things that you can think about when you're feeling like your body is stuck, right? When you want to get unstuck, like, okay, body, what are you telling me? And I feel like this is the same concept in your business. If you're trying to force something to work in your business, I truly believe you need to stop and listen and look at all the facts about what you feel, what you believe, what the audience is telling you, what's happening in your business, what is actually working, what's not working, and see it from a broader place versus, man, nothing ever works, I'm stuck. Okay. Number 2, have you assigned a meaning to your body not doing something by leaning into, again, I can't? So, for example, what am I saying to myself about this pain that's making me stay in stuck mode? So back in the day when I would be in pain, it was all-consuming. Like, I can't even get the word out. It felt all-consuming. It made me feel like, well, man, I can't go to see my friends. I have to reschedule stuff. Um, I'm just like, I'm in so much agony. And sometimes that is true. Sometimes we are going through those kind of flare-ups and, and those things, and some of us more than others, and there's no shame in that. What I'm talking about is like, what are we saying about our body when we are going through that? Are we telling our body in our mind that we cannot do anything? Are we kind of like reinforcing this limiting belief that if something doesn't work perfectly or if something is not a certain way, I can't do it a different way? That's huge, right? Or am I in the comparison game? Well, I'm thinking about the way I want to do it, but because I can't do it how I saw someone else do it, I just can't. I just can't. So my question I have for you is, I want you to ask yourself, what am I saying to myself about this pain that's making me stay in stuck mode? What's making me stay here? Is it that I can't— for example, I'll use myself— well, I can't write. I don't believe I'm a great writer, and I'm in so much pain, and there's no other thing I can do. Or I don't have the income to invest in this platform that I know that will might help me because I'm not getting such and such. Like, what really are you saying to yourself about what's causing you pain? And how are you leaning into staying stuck? This is all very much like you got to really be real with yourself. Like, no joke. Like, sometimes there are times where I recognize, like, I'll be like, I'm laid up in bed, I don't want to do anything. I'll ask myself this question: what am I saying to myself that is making me feel like I'm still in suck mode? And it's like, oh well, it's just so much pain and I'm so tired and I can't do this thing or whatever, whatever. So I just can't. I just come to that conclusion. But then when I ask myself honestly with that question, it's like, I am dealing with all this and you know what, I just don't want to. And if I come to that awareness for myself and like, okay, if I don't want to, then I ask myself, what would I— how would I want to change this? What would make me want to do this? The small little thing that might make me feel— or I think about, well, if I don't want to do it now, when am I gonna want to do it? When am I gonna want to do it? Is it when I feel perfectly fine? Is it when I can get out the bed without like dying? Is it when I'm not going to the restroom every 2 or 3 minutes because my IC is flared up? Like, when is it? I just challenge you to challenge the way you're thinking or what meaning you're assigning to the things that you feel are holding you back or keeping you stuck. And number 3 is kind of going back to that question. I want you to ask yourself, why do I need to do something? Why do I need to do this thing? Does this thing align with my purpose, passion, and mission? What part of my zone of genius can I bring to this task? So this comes more down to not only physically, like dealing with your body being in stuck. So if you have brain fog, that's a thing, and you're trying to maybe write an article or maybe record a video and it's just not working, like you need to be on the screen. What if you thought about how you could do it differently? What is something that is your zona genius? So I have a client who is amazing YouTuber. She does amazing YouTube videos and she's a great educator. But recently she's just been challenged with doing those things. And so where she's come to in a beautiful empowerment place is like, how can I show up? What can I bring to doing this thing that I love to do that really aligns my purpose, passion, and mission? What is the thing that I need to do? And her thing is words of affirmation. And that gave her the power to be like, you know what? I don't have to show up on the video. I can use my voice. I can just record myself, and this will serve the people and me to do this thing. And it's my zone of genius. So my question is to you is, do you know what those zones of genius, that zone of genius is for you? Do you know what your purpose, passion, and mission is in doing this business that you want to do? Or has the noise of everyone else's voice crowded out your own voice? That's the truth. That's a good question to ask yourself. And why are you doing this? Sometimes the answers to all of these questions is like, I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know what my purpose, passion, and mission is. And I don't know what my zone of genius is because I've been wearing everyone else's skin, if you will, their costume. I've been trying on everybody else's costume to see what fits me. My challenge to you is to think about, if I were just me, go back to you, go back to your core values, go back to the things that matter to you. And I promise you, things will feel so much easier when you feel stuck because you'll know exactly what you need to do. You know exactly how to bring your best zone of genius to the thing, why you're waking up, why you might choose to, um, record a video in bed while talking with clients like I have, or whatever it looks like for you, you will know. And it's not going to come from someone else. It's only going to come from you. It's going to come from within you. The way you get to this part, if you, if you've answered no to, I don't know why I need to do this, I don't know if this aligns with me, and I don't know what I'm good at, I need you to just spend some time turning off all the noise. Turn off the social media, turn off the websites, stop looking at everybody's YouTube and Clubhouse and Twitter and Facebook. Stop listening to podcasts. And I need you to go into like a little, a little you cubby circle where it's you. I definitely believe there's spiritual, um, connection with this of being really knowing what it is that it is that you are here for, connecting back to that, connecting to the things that maybe you haven't thought about in a very long time. Also, I believe releasing of all of those shoulds and, and, and expectations of what you believe that other people are looking for you to do and find out what your own expectations are of yourself. What is it that you— what matters to you? All of those things will help you get unstuck when you feel like your body is. All right, loves, the next episode we are going to talk about in this series is how to really continue momentum while in a flare-up. So this is a little different from being stuck. Like, you might be in the zone, like you got your stuff going on, and then life happens or thoughts happen. And we're going to talk more about that in our next episode of this series. All right, y'all, that's a wrap. Thank you for listening. And I hope this conversation inspired you. Be sure to visit craftedtothrive.com to check out our show notes, connect with our guests, and grab some of those goodies. Join us for the next episode. And in the meantime, remember, yes, yes, yes, you are crafted to thrive.