15 Years

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello, my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I'm Pamela Jean. Thank you so much for being here. Here we are another Monday. Time flies by so quickly. I hope that you are making the most of every moment of time that you are gifted with. Make today an amazing day and do some incredible things this week. So I have a question for you. Do you find yourself spending too much time on social media for your business? Are you spinning your wheels daily with what to post and struggling to find the time to get it all done? Well, if you are, I hear you, friends, because that was me not too long ago. But what if I told you there was a way to touch your social media posts only one time, one time, one time that you create them and you get them post ready to post and that's it, you walk away and it's done for you daily. Well, on May 19th, I'm hosting an in person social media boot camp style workshop in Tulsa. It's in person, which is so exciting that in itself that's pretty fun. This Bootcamp workshop is going to be hands on. You will learn how to write effective content because that's a big battle that a lot of people have is I don't even know what to write. So I'll give you some strategies on creating perfect content to market your business. We will work on developing brand targeted templates for you to use over and over and over again. And all you're doing is dropping in the new message and not having to invent your template each time. Consistency will teach you consistency and how to schedule your posts and also effective calls to action to build your community. You're going to leave this workshop with templates ready to use, time saving techniques and an incredible marketing strategy. And let's face it, friends, time is money. I'm going to post the link to schedule in the notes, the show notes of this podcast today. So look for that there. And here's something really important to know too. Only 25 people are going to be allowed in because it's so hands on. I want to be available to help everyone in the room who might need some help. So check out the link in the show notes or you can go to my website, Pamela jeanannewlife.com click on the social media tab and that'll take you to all the information that you need to know. Okay, so let's dive into today's podcast. So you notice the title is 15 years. Well, today, May 10th marks the day of 15 years ago that my father passed away at the young age of 58. And since the anniversary landed on a Monday podcast release day, I wanted to dedicate this podcast to him. So I will never forget the day that I received the call from my dad that he was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer. And kidney cancer is one of those types of cancer that oftentimes goes undetected and is misdiagnosed. And I guess because it's in the kidney, that's not just where people. That's not where you look for cancer. Especially, especially in a young man of the age of 58. You just don't look for cancer there. Anyway, so he was diagnosed and I can't remember, it's a little bit foggy as to exactly when. I know it was April when I learned the news, and it was obviously a pretty earth shattering day. But he vowed to me that he was going to fight hard. He was going to fight this disease hard and he was going to win it. And he was going to, you know, probably lose a kidney out of the deal. But you know what? You can live without a kidney, and it was all going to be fine. And, you know, I believed him. My dad was young and strong and in great shape. I really, really believed that he was going to win this battle. And after going to many, many trips to the Mayo Clinic, we learned that the tumor was just way too large. It was so big and intertwined in so much of the kidney tissue and veins and arteries that removing the kidney and removing the tumor was just not possible. It was inoperable. And the doctor said he would most likely not make it through the surgery. So then a barrage of testing of different treatments. He was on trials. It was a long, hard battle, and my dad really, truly fought hard. So I was 37 years old when I lost my dad. And I think about him a lot. You know, I didn't always have a perfect relationship with my dad. As a young person growing up, I wasn't really connected with him that well. Just weren't super close. But I am so grateful to say that in my late 20s, we really had some life altering moments for me and my dad was there for me and that's when we really created an incredible relationship. I've always loved my dad, don't get me wrong. But we just weren't super close growing up. He worked a lot. I didn't see him a whole lot. We just, just didn't. We were slightly disconnected. But later in my 20s, I was, you know, going through. Through some things and, and my dad was really, really there for me. He was in my corner unconditionally and stepped up to the plate to be a dad that I really, really needed at that time. And that was the beginning of our relationship changing into something truly, truly incredible. So I had about, I would say, 10 really awesome relationship with my father. And I'm so grateful for that. You just have no idea how grateful for that, that I am. And, you know, my youngest daughter was 8 years old when he passed away. And it's sad to me that, you know, my kids, his grandchildren, really don't remember much about him. They don't have a lot of memories with him. So that's a little sad. But, you know, I still have those memories, so I'm, I'm grateful. But I wanted to share with you today some of the things that he taught me. Because the things that he taught me, I didn't even really know they were there until. Just reflecting back on what he taught me, one of the things is, he always taught me to leave a room in better shape than how I found it. So it could be walking into the living room and seeing pillows messed up on the, on the sofa. You just went over and fixed those pillows. That's just what you did. If there was a glass left out on the table, you brought it to the kitchen and you washed it and put it away. You just. You leave a room in better shape than how you find it. And it doesn't even have to be, you know, your home. It could be any room. It could be somebody else's room. It could be a. You know, you go to the grocery store and you see something out of place and. Or something has fallen on the ground. Instead of walking by the thing that is on the ground laying there, you pick it up and put it back on the shelf. You leave room in better shape than how you find it. He taught me to do the same with people, that you have an opportunity every single day to impact other people. And he taught me that even though people don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated or the way that you should be treated, it's still your goal to leave people better than how you found them, to leave them with impact, to show them kindness. And even when they don't deserve kindness, you take the high road and you be kind anyway. And he did teach me the high road several of my friends and some of my coaching clients. We talk long and hard about the high road and how hard that is to take the high road in a situation. Because oftentimes the high road is the loneliest road there is to be on, but it the right road. And he taught me that. He taught me to take the high road. One time I was a little girl and we were walking somewhere outside and there was a candy wrapper on the ground and he asked me to pick it up. And I looked at him and I said, well, it isn't mine. And he quickly told me, it doesn't matter, pick it up anyways. And so I did. And it just makes sense. Just because someone else is going to make the world a dirty place, a place that isn't pretty and beautiful, doesn't mean you can't pick up something that something dropped. Whether they dropped it intentionally or not, it doesn't matter. You just do the right thing and pick it up. So I really appreciate that. He instilled in me to always leave the world better than how you found it. And not just physically, but the people you meet. Leave the people you meet better than how you found them. Be an impact and do the right thing when it comes to other people. This is something I love about him. He always was anticipating a guest. He was always ready for company, whether it be in his workshop where he had a little coffee area, or at home. He was always ready to entertain a guest. The coffee was always on and there were always a package of cinnamon rolls ready to pull out just in case someone stopped by. And these cinnamon rolls, I have to tell you, I get them time to time. When I'm missing him especially, I'll pick up a package and just enjoy those because it reminds me of him. And you know, they're not good. They're not even good for you. Not that any cinnamon roll is, but they were the hostess kind that had like that maple topping. And he always had to have the kind that had nuts on them. And as a kid, I couldn't stand the ones with nuts on them. But I've grown to like this over the years. But they. They don't even taste that good, but they remind me of him. So I get those and pull those out. But he always had something ready. Ready to entertain people and ready to always be a host and share some laughs and just enjoy his life. He loved to entertain and he was good at it, and he loved to see other people having a good time. My dad taught me how to work hard. No one worked Harder than him. I can't remember. I don't know of anyone who works harder than him. He was the first to clock in and the first, the last to clock out, the first to come, the last to leave. He just had a workhorse mentality and I guess that that came from him growing up on a farm in, in Minnesota. He just had an incredible worker work ethic. No one could outwork him. And I admired that about him. He just never stopped moving. He was always working on a project, he was always doing something. And I inherited his work. E so grateful for that and have been able to instill that work ethic into my kids. All of my kids are such hard workers and high achievers and I appreciate the work ethic that I learned from my father and just grateful to be able to pass that on because work ethic is not something that you're born with. I think you're taught that and he taught me very well when it comes to work ethic. My dad was an early riser. He would get up in the morning, you know, 4, 4:30 in the morning and he would be out to, headed off to work by 5 or 5:30 and he was able to function on very little sleep. I definitely got that from my dad. I am up by 4:40 every single morning, head to the gym, hit the ground running every single day and grateful that I don't require a lot of sleep to function and be highly productive. I did receive that g gift from him. I guess it's a gift. I'm not sure, maybe, maybe not. But I did definitely feel like I got that from him. My dad had a love for animals. He loved, he loved animals and I definitely got that from him. I, I'm always going for the underdog. I always pick the runt of the litter. I just, I love animals and I feel like, you know, they don't have a choice for where they end up or for the lives they're given. They don't have a choice. And as human beings, it's our responsibility to care for the animals that get thrown into situations that they don't have a choice. So I'm always looking for the runt of the litter, the person or the animal that is left behind or the one that nobody wants and an advocate for them and choose the underdog almost always because they need the extra help, they need the boost. So I appreciate that. I have the love for animals that I do and I received that from my dad. Something about my dad that was so interesting to me growing up and I Definitely have some of those traits and characteristics is he is a neat freak, which I think for men to typically be a neat freak is not always that common. But he was. I mean, I could not cook in the kitchen when he was there because I was would put a spoon down and I'd turn around to go stir something off the stove and my spoon would be gone. And he would have already washed it and put it away. It's like, I'm not done with that, give me my spoon back. But he was a neat freak. His garage was so clean, you could eat off the floor in his garage. And every single tool had a very specific spot that you could open his tool drawer and it looked like something you would see in a magazine. Everything was at the perfect 45 degree angle. All of his wrenches and ratchets and everything was just so neat and tidy. His garage rags were folded absolutely to perfection and in a perfect straight, neat, tidy little stack. And everything just was immaculate that way. He was the same with the inside and outside of his vehicles. Every vehicle we owned got washed once a week, inside and outside. And we grew up on a farm, so we lived on a gravel road. You can imagine how dirty our vehicles were all of the time, but everything was immaculate. And he had such pride in ownership and he took good care of everything. And he passed that on to me because I gotta admit, I love cleaning my car. And I know it's a sickness because I could spend two hours just cleaning and detailing my vehicle and love every second of it. There's nothing better than stepping back and seeing the wheels shining and the fresh coat of wax, how shiny everything is. And I definitely got that from my dad. He was, he was a neat freak for sure. And he passed that blessing curse onto me as well. And you know, I gotta tell you, my dad was not a perfect man. And there are no perfect people in this world. He had his vices, he had his issues, he had his problems. But you know, he was my dad and he had a hand in molding me into the person that I am today. And I'm forever grateful that I had 37 years with him. I'm so grateful for that. And especially for the last 10 years of his life, our relationship had really grown into something truly, truly amazing. You know, the thing that my dad always did for me was he could build anything. He was such a good craftsman. He was, he was just totally self taught, which I admired so much about him, but he could build anything and he taught me to do anything and everything. I'll never forget as I was turning 16, getting ready to go out on my own, driving a car and all of that. He taught me how to change a flat tire. It was a requirement. I mean, I couldn't get in that car and drive off the property by myself without knowing how to change a flat tire. He also taught me how to change the oil in my car and figure out when you go to the store which air filter you need, which oil filter you need, all kinds of things, and what it sounds like when your brakes are going out and when you need new routers on your car. There's so many things that he taught me because he never wanted me to have to rely on anyone else. He taught me that independence, and I appreciate that. I'll never forget having to roll underneath the car. I was terrified that it was going to fall on top of learn how to pull off the oil filter and get the drip pan so it doesn't go all over the floor or the ground and drain the oil out of my own car and learn how to put it back in. But I'm grateful for that because it taught me that there isn't anything I can't do. And I love that. And I love that about myself. You know, I've always had the thought and mindset that it wasn't like. Like, you know, can I do something? How can I do it? How am I going to get it done? How am I going to do it? It was never a matter of if I could do it. It was just a matter of figuring out how I can do it. I always had that mindset that, you know, when I started my first business, I was 21 years old. I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew I would figure it out. I never had a doubt whether or not I could figure it out. And I had the mindset of, well, if this doesn't work out, I'm employable, Someone hire me. I never had a doubt that I couldn't do it, and I figured it out. And that was, you know, some gifts that I learned from him. And my mom, too. She was an entrepreneur as well. Grateful for that example my parents both. Both instilled in me. But my dad was always the one that would come over and build whatever I needed built, show me how to do it or talk me through it on the phone. And that was so amazing and so awesome. And that I'll say, is prob. What I miss the very, very most is just picking up the phone, call the phone, and calling and saying, hey, dad, I'm building a new workbench or I'm digging a new garden. What do I need to do first? You know, how do. Is it important that I. How much peat moss do I have to add to it? What should I do? How often should I fertilize my lawn? All of those questions that I don't get to ask anymore. And I'm not gonna lie, that's the hardest part. And the fact of knowing that today day, it's been 15 years since I've heard his voice. It's been 15 years since I've smelled his distinctive smell. And it's been 15 years since I've gotten to hug my dad. That's a long time. You know, It's a long time. I'm grateful for all that I've had with him. So grateful. And I'm not gonna lie, you know, when I see some friends that starting to care for their elderly fathers, and I'm just a little bit envious that, you know, I'll never get to do that, but so grateful that I had the time with my dad. That I did. So, dad, I know that today you are cleaning the streets of gold because you are a neat freak and everything had to be shiny and spotless. And I know that you are making a huge impact in heaven. And you were there at the pearly community gates welcoming people in, dad. Because that's what you are. You're a host. You're a host and you want to make sure that everybody is having a good time. And I know that you're there welcoming people in. And, dad, you will always be forever young. I love you, dad, and I miss you. And friends, thank you so much for listening to my tribute to my dad today. It's such a beautiful blessing to be able to share this with you. Thank you for listening. Have an incredible week. Know that you are loved and know that I believe in you. And friends, you can do hard things. Make it a great week. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.