Don't Live The Same Year 75 Times and Call It A Life

Welcome to A New Life podcast with.

Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women.

Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. Thank you for being here. I'm so excited about today. Actually, I'm pretty excited about every podcast that I release. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing it because this is such a gift that I get to give you and I hope that you enjoy them as much as I enjoy putting them together. So this is the first time ever I have am bringing someone back for the third time for a podcast. And when you hear this message today, you'll fully understand why. First of all, we are less than a month away from the Flourish Women's Leadership Summit coming up October 3rd. It is a virtual event. We have switched it to a virtual event from 1 until 5 in the afternoon. And Laurie, who is with us here today, is one of our keynote presenters. And I'm just so thrilled to have her back. I know she is going to inspire you and help you change your life. And incidentally, the price to get in is only $79 for the virtual summit you get wear your jammies or sit in your comfies on your sofa and watch an incredible event. So, Lori, welcome back for the third time. I'm so glad you're here. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. So we need to catch everybody up with where you're at. You, I mean, I can't remember the last time you were here, but I know you have made more changes and more pivots and accomplish more things. So talk to me about where you are.

Okay. I actually looked up our last podcast and it was in February. And you know, it was interesting because at that time I was just under 70 pounds. And since we talked last, I did I hit the 75 pound mark. And so that was very exciting. And I will tell you, I've kind of camped there. I have sat there for a little while. I've been maintaining. I had a friend move to town. And, you know, a lot of our podcast has been about the weight loss journey. And the thing is, is I did it in just 11 months. I lost 75 pounds and 48 inches. And it was just, you know, it was just a moment to like, really take back my health and take back my life. And that's felt really, really good. And for the first time ever, I've learned how to maintain. And in our last podcast, we talked about the fact that I had released the food plan. So we've been doing, you know, I've been working with a lot of my clients with the food plan. I released my website. So the Nightshirt Chronicles is now live. That was in March. That big milestone for me. I literally bought the domain the minute I thought of the Nightshore Chronicles last June. And as we talked about my first podcast, it came to me literally sitting, like, standing at the kitchen sink. And, you know, there's been so much intertwined in this journey because not only, you know, was it the weight loss, but there was so much stirring in me through Covid quarantine and 2020. About. I'd always wanted to write a book about my marriage. And then it hit me that when the Night Shirt Chronicles came to me, I was like, ah, because I needed to write a book about all things women and not just about, you know, about my marriage. And so I was thrilled. And it's called the Night Shirt Chronicles because I documented the entire weight loss journey in a night shirt. But I also think the more that I build my community and I talk to my community and I share things and vulnerabilities with them, the Nitro Chronicles became really kind of the perfect title. So, yeah. So there's been a lot happening.

Wow. Well and truly, I feel like your title, the Nightshirt Chronicles, makes so much sense. I think every. Every woman can identify with. When do you do most of your thinking? It's early in the morning, late at night, you are ready for bed, you're getting up from bed, you're in the night shirt, you're in that quiet zone. And I feel like that's so connective for everyone. Not to mention. Oh, my gosh. Not to mention how absolutely adorable your branding is on the Night Shirt Chronicles. I mean, my gosh, that couldn't. That couldn't be any better. So you knocked it out of the park for sure on your branding. I have a question for you.

Yes.

Okay. So you're at the 75 pound mark, and obviously that's been a tremendous physical transfer transformation.

Sure.

How has it been from a mental transformation?

That's still a struggle.

I surprised you with that question. So. Because it just honestly came to me, I'm like, how? Because I know obviously the physical change is. I mean, you were beautiful before, Lori.

Thank you. Thank you.

You were beautiful before, but to see you now physically, not talking about physical beauty, I'm talking about your energy level is different now, but where are you at from a mental standpoint?

Yes. Well, and you know, Pamela, it wouldn't be a good podcast with you if I didn't get that. One of those truths questions. I'm always ready. We're gonna do it. We're gonna have some truth talk.

We're doing the dang thing.

We are. We're doing the dang thing. So, you know, I. I think the whole journey is mental. And I think what we really need to focus on is that, you know, weight is not about beauty. And the thing is, is, you know, we've talked a lot about the fact that I did not feel unhappy with myself at, you know, 75 pounds heavier. And, you know, 75 is not the goal. You know, my goal is 85 pounds. And, you know, like I said, I've been camping here for a minute, and I'm excited that I've kind of learned how to maintain. You know, that's always been a struggle. And as I tell all of my clients, you know, this is a marathon. It's not a sprint. And we have to, like, you know, do the mental work. And so I think the best way to explain this is that building this brand, building my business, building, working with my clients, building my team, all of those things, like, it transformed me inside and out. And that's what I tell everybody, is that, you know, this has been such a year of growth for me. And it's like, you know, I was reading through your questions when you, you know, when you first presented them to me for today, and I was like, you know, when you said, like, where are you now? Or where's your business now? And I think, you know, I feel more alive than I've ever felt. I feel like this is the most rewarding work I've ever done. I have never loved anything like this because what I get to do is I get to work with men and women every day, primarily women. But, you know, help them take their lives back, you know, and take their control back and to help them feel better about themselves. And so, you know, I always, you know, there's nothing that feels better than giving back. I mean, I've been a huge fan of the Feed projects and Tom shoes and Product Red and all of these amazing organizations for years and years. I've met a lot of world changers, and I love that. And the thing was, is I was, like, I was so desperate to find something for myself that felt this good because, you know, you can just get lost in the momentum and the. You know, and the. The gerbil wheel of life and doing a job and just existing and I was like, you know, there was a quote. I always try to write my quotes down, but then I always need one I didn't write down because I love a good quote. And I don't know who said this, but it's like, you know, don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life.

And so it's powerful.

Yeah, it really is powerful. And, you know, and I think, too. So for me, it's like this whole year, like, when people look at me, because I actually had a friend yesterday that I was texting some pictures to because he's not on Facebook. He's just been a good friend for a long time. And. And he was like, oh, my gosh, your hair is different. All this is different. And I'm thinking, oh, love.

Like, it gets way no idea.

So, yeah, it's like, you know, and I, you know, when you're talking about my branding, you know, in 2020, there were so many people out of work. And I have. I've utilized a lot of beautiful women. You know, I'm all about paying women and taking care of women and making sure that, you know, I'm supporting women businesses that, you know, I have a lot of people that brought this brand to life. And I also, you know, Pamela, you and I talk about, like, knowing your strengths and knowing your weaknesses. And Shannon Stewart is a great friend of mine, and she just said recently at a conference, she said, you know, you know, know what your weaknesses are and hire people to do those things. And so, you know, I have a great branding illustrator. I have a great web designer. I have a great attorney. I have a great graphic designer. They're all women. They all help me. And, you know, it's like, what I love to do is support my clients. What I love to do is write. I love to, you know, write for social media, write for my newsletter, or, you know, work on the book. But it's like, I also know what my weaknesses are, and I try to, like, get. Bring people in that know what that can help me make it amazing and. Well, absolutely.

You never want to be the smartest one in the room.

No, ma'. Am.

Always want to surround yourself with people that are going to help you grow and change and. And I wanted you to touch a little bit on the mental side of everything, because in a conversation that we had a couple of weeks ago, I think, you know, mentally, you have to work on that mindset all the time. You know, you're going to have days where you just feel defeated for no reason. You know, those, you know, we all have a backstory. Our backstory sometimes creeps in and becomes louder in our brain than the actual reality that you live in. So you have to be able to, you know, recognize that backstory, the story. When I say that, I mean that story that formed you to who you are today. The trauma events when you were a child, the disappointments, the whatever it was that you went through that molded you to respond, react emotionally, feel certain things, good, bad or otherwise, but by focusing on your mental stability and strength every day, I think that's really important. And you, you kind of were alluding to that, that, you know, mentally, you have to continue to work on that and not the negative narrative speak louder than what you really know to be true.

Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness, yes. So, you know, and I think too, it's not even your own mental. It's people outside of you. So, you know, mentally, I'm doing a lot of work. I'm back in therapy. I'm all about mental health. I knew that I had to switch. I had to shift everything for this journey. I, you know, I've mentioned this before, but I've lost £25 probably three or four times. I've lost £50 twice. And I'd never had an 85 pound journey. And this really was never about the weight, but it was about the fact that I had to do the work to figure out why I was eating and why I continue to sabotage myself. And I also think that is the same in business because, you know, somebody said to me recently that my story was impactful and I thought, and, and, you know, I. Sometimes you just are surprised it resonates with anybody or. And you're just thankful. You're thankful that it does reach somebody. And, you know, Brene Brown is one of my favorites. I've mentioned her before. You know, you never know when your story becomes someone else's survival guide. And that's why we tell our stories. And the thing is, is that, you know, so I fight anything internally and mentally. And you have to do the work and you have to keep pushing and you have to remember that, you know, I've been telling entreprene entrepreneurs a lot this year. People will come to me with like five ideas. And finally I say to them, I'm like, please stop thinking of ideas. Just do something. The reason people fail, Pamela, is because it's lack of action. It's like, you know, it's like I look back at my first newsletters. I look back at, like, all the stuff I started, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, it was hilarious. Like, I didn't have a logo. I didn't. You know, I hadn't made anything really pretty yet. And so I tell people, I'm like, you've got to launch your business or launch your purpose or whatever and make it perfect later. This is where we are. It's like, you know, and. And so for me, and. And, you know, the mental game is tough because, like I said, you're fighting your own. You're fighting yourself. Because, you know, even with the book, there have been moments. Very few, because I am really upset and feel solid about the book. But there are moments that you're like, does anybody need to hear this again? Like. Like, this is an archaic story. Like, you know, But I've talked to dozens and dozens and dozens of women in the last year because that's what I do. I. You know, I have over 200 health clients. I'm very proud of that. And my clients range from 19 to 70. So I'm dealing with women, the beginning, getting ready to get married. I'm dealing with postpartum women, perimenopausal, you know, women later in their life, taking care of their grandchildren. And so it's such a. You know, I'm just surrounded by such beauty and women in different walks of life, but the stories are all the same. And that.

Oh, my gosh, you hit the nail on the head.

Yeah. And that's why I know I have to write the book.

You do. And I will see it through if you don't. I am holding your feet to the fire, my friend. You know, and here's the thing about the aloneness that sometimes we feel. We think that I'm alone in what I'm going through. But everybody listening to this, every woman out there listening to this, I already know you. And I have never seen your face, and I have never met you in person. I know you because everything I have gone through and other women that I know intimately, you are going through the same things. We all experience the same things, the same. Maybe not the same traumas or the same highs and lows, but the results, the cause and effects are the same. The effects are the same. So we still all have that same mental work to do to get over ourselves and to stop listening to the negative narrative or the people in your life that are influencing your thoughts to go badly. We all are in the same place. We are all are like that. None of us are alone in where we are.

Well, and Pamela, the Quote that I think about often as well, and I don't know it's author either is, you know, I. When you talk about the isolation, it is hard, you know, when you start figuring out your exact purpose and you start following something that you feel very driven to follow. There will be some people that do not believe in you and they don't believe in it, and that's okay. And you know, the quote goes something like, the woman you are becoming will cost you people relationships, and you must protect her at all costs. And that was one of the biggest things, like one of the biggest, you know, aha moments for me was that, okay, you know, I have to do this. I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing and you have to just shut out the noise. And that was. That was like one of the biggest things for me is just to like, shut. I mean, because I have some of my best friends are not supportive. You know, my book is tough. I mean, some of the material is really raw and people worry about that for me. They're like, you know, you're going to put this out in the world and how is it going to be received? And I said, you know, I'm not an expert. I am not trying to solve the problems. I am just trying to ask the questions. And I just think there are some conversations that we all need to have. And I did. I actually did, like, hold on to this for you because I thought I'm going to share this on the podcast and it's from Oprah's book, what I Know for Sure. And this is when you talk about the mental work and the mental game and why we do what we do and how we have to live our purpose. I read this the other night and I was like, I'm sharing this on Pamela's podcast. And it says, what I know for sure is that every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and step out and dance to live free of regret and filled with as much joy, fun and laughter as you can stand. You can either waltz boldly onto the stage of life and live the way you know your spirit is nudging you to, or you can sit quietly by the wall, receding into the shadows of fear and self doubt. Wow. That, my love, is what I know for sure too.

Well, absolutely. That. That is just. That's a great quote and thank you for sharing that because that is. Is so perfect. Okay, I want to shift just a little bit.

Yes.

You have blown your business out of the water. In a very short amount of time.

Thank you.

What is one secret to your success? Because we have to save some stuff for the summit.

Yes, we do.

We can't give away all your secrets right now.

We gotta. Yeah, I got lots of secrets.

I know you do.

Yeah. The thing. Okay, so here's what I'm going to tell you for sure, is that I did shut down. I shut out the noise. I shut out. We call them the Facebook tammies of the world that don't believe in it. So I'm in direct sales primarily, and I really want to touch on that because, you know, I have pulled back on that in the last few podcasts because I thought I wanted to see where it went. And you know, when I went into direct sales, so the thing is, is that I wrote a food plan, I have a website, I am a health coach, you know, I'm writing a book. But, you know, I, I sell the supplements that changed my life. And the thing was, is that when I started this business, direct sales get such a bad rap. Everybody, you know, has their own opinion. But I had a really prolific friend, Ms. Robin in LA, and she said, this is what you're going to do. I mean, she runs a digital, a beautiful digital magazine. She's very successful, successful. And I said, you want me to stay in direct sales and lead women? And she's like, yep. And I thought, you know what? That's what I'm going to do. And it paid off a thousand percent. So, you know, because at first everybody said to me, they were like, when are you going back to work? And I'm like, I am working. And Pamela. And Pamela, the bottom line is, is that, you know, in the spring I got a $20,000 bonus. I, you know, I am, I have like replaced my full time income in a year. I am leading a team of women. I'm growing leaders. And we have all of this momentum right now and there's $5,000 in bonuses on the line for anyone on my team. And that's what I want people to know, is that I'm hiring, right? If you want to come and do this with me, if you want to belong to something, to have a community, to work from home, to have the flexibility with your children, like, that is something that I really want to offer people. Because I think, you know, everyone says that I've been paid to lose weight, but it's been way more than that. It's like this journey has brought women into my life. I never expected. I have clients from all over the country. I am now coaching, like in our company, 200 people at a time. It's brought me opportunities like yours, Pamela. It's, you know, it's getting me out there because of what the bottom line is. I want to speak to women, and that's where all of this momentum is going to put me.

That is so incredible. And I just have to say this because, Lori, you walk the walk and you talk the talk.

Thank you.

You're not just jumped into direct sales, but you are doing everything. The supplements that you sell are what helped you accomplish your health goals. So you're walking the walk. You're talking the talk. You're not doing something that you don't believe in. And you have just dived. You dove in head first, head first to create your own platform in which you can empower and impact women. That is the biggest gift that you could give, not only yourself, but, man, look at what you're giving to other women.

Right? And that's what it says, like, actually on my website. Dive into your potential. Because, you know, that's, you know, when we were building my website, it was. I did work with a copywriter. Everybody thinks that's so funny since I love to write, but.

But it's hard to write about yourself.

It's personal.

Yeah, it's personal.

And I'm a storyteller, so it's like, when I write, it's long. Like, it. I mean, I'm like. To write four sentences concise is not my forte.

And to have impact.

You're like, what?

I only get four sentences?

I'm like, I need, like, I need like, four paragraphs. So, you know, and so I literally, like, you know, I. When I worked with Madeline and I was able to say to her, like, you know, this is what I'm trying to convey is that I want. I want you to love your life. I want you to take your life back. I want you, you know, and I'm like, what are you going to do with your one wild and beautiful life? And the. And because the thing is, is, you know, you. We love that because you talk about it, but I always say, welcome to the party because I want it to be fun and I want it to be exciting, and I want people to, like, understand that.

Yeah.

Like, I mean, the. The piece that's really, you know, hard for people is that they have to shift their lifestyle. And that sounds really drastic. But, like, when you sit down with me and I'm like, hey, this is what we're going to do. We're going to Track. We're going to, like, use this food plan. We're going to. We're. I'm going to teach you, like, how to. How to eat better, how to, like, you know, eat, you know, because I go out to eat. I go to parties, I go to networking events. I do the things. You just have to eat a little smarter. And. And I love that. I'm like, and when I get those texts from my clients that are like, oh, my gosh, I've, you know, I'm under the shredded weight I haven't seen in five years, or I'm down three Jean sizes, or I lost 10 pounds in the last three weeks, or I lost 11 inches, or my BMI is down. And that's, you know, the other thing that is really been exciting to me is that y'. All, I mean, let's talk about health for a minute. Like, I consider myself a health coach, not a weight loss expert expert. It's like, you know, we want to, you know, I want to get your BMI down to a healthier level. I want to help you get off your type 2 diabetic, you know, diabetes medication. I want to help you, like, you know, lower your numbers, feel better, live longer. And, you know, and I said this in the last podcast, and I'll say it again, I'm not worried about how much weight you have to lose. I'm worried about how much life you have to gain. That's where we're at.

Oh, my gosh. That is absolutely perfect. And you want to know what the icing on the cake is for me?

Tell me.

Your book. Your.

It is.

No, seriously, your book is the icing on the cake.

So thank you.

Here. You have built and created this incredible business in a very short amount of time. And. And, Lori, if you can do this, anyone can do this. I mean, this is something doable. It's not.

It is.

You know, it's very doable. But you've also taken control of your mind, body in spirit, and you have translated your life experiences into the Night Shirt Chronicles, a book that every woman on this planet is going to want to read. Because I've. I know what your chapters are. I know what's coming.

Yes.

This is all things that all women are experiencing, going through, feeling, and you put it into words in a way that people are like, I get it, I get it, I get it. But you also are showing a way out, not just to survive, but to thrive.

Sure. Well. And, you know, as I write the book, it's been very interesting, you know, I mean, I actually had, you know, a friend the other day say to me, and he was like. He goes, you know, this is really taught, you know, told from a very privileged perspective. And I agree with that. And the thing is, is that I just felt like if I don't tell my story, then maybe others aren't brave enough to tell theirs. And I think I have to stand here and do it. I am. Is there some of it That's. I'm afraid, yes. I mean, I think we have to be really honest. I. You know, I had a web designer that wouldn't work with me over the book, you know, because some of the topics are hard. They're. They're not always easy, and they're not always easy to tell, but I also think they're important. And. And here's the thing, is that I was thinking about this last night when I was thinking about my sweet friend and that she would not work with me. And, you know, what I had to do, Pamela, is I had to call her and talk to her about why she wouldn't work with me, because as a champion of women, I had to thank her for honoring her truth. Truth. Oh, my gosh, that is a big piece to me, is that, you know what? Every woman has their own boundaries. You can set your boundaries. And that's really what the book is about. Yes, about, you know, opening up your. You know, I'm. I'm opening up conversations. Like I said, I'm not an expert. I'm not going to give you all the answers. I'm going to give you things that are, from my perspective of what I have gone through as a woman for the last 48 years, what I've seen in my family, generationally, you know, image, self worth, you know, marriage, divorce, my mom's breast cancer journey. There's so many things in the book that so many women are going through. Being a caregiver, you know, women that have faced addiction or have partners that have faced addiction. You know, I just felt like, you know, as I'm writing them, I literally have a lot of questions at the end, you know, as I'm like, you know, why aren't we talking about this? Why are doctors not talking about this? You know what? Because that's what I want to do is just open up the conversations, because we as women are sitting in the shadows, and we're not talking about it.

Well, and I want to just champion you and your friend to be able to have that conversation. For her to say, I won't work with you. Because this does not fit within her own boundaries and ethics or whatever her reason was. But for you to still be able to love her and to love her and respect her as your friend and say, you know what? I get it, and thank you for the honesty and thank you for the conversation, what a tremendous growth moment for both of you. Because you know what? We don't all think the same. We have different boundaries and moral compasses and things that we will and will not do. And that is okay. There's nothing wrong with that. And for you two to be able to. To use this as a relationship building moment as opposed to the destructive, that many people would have taken the destructive side.

Well, and, you know, and I thought, you know, and I think just the year of growth like that I had, had. I mean, you know, at first it really gutted me. I'm not going to lie. I was like, oh, my gosh. Because then you start doubting, like, do I tell this piece of the story? And then. But then I was like, you know what? I have to tell the story. It's happening to a lot of women. And maybe this is, you know, if I can tell my story, it will open them up. And I think what's interesting, Pamela, is that when I talk to women one on one, I'm now having that opportunity to do a lot more of that and I tell my story. You know, we are. There are so many women sitting in sexual shame, even when it comes to assault. And, you know, if, if I can open up that, you know, those boundaries and those conversations so people will share and begin to heal. Because where, you know, if you sit in silence, that's where the shame is. And it's like when you open it up and you're like, oh, my gosh, you've had that same experience, or this has happened to you too, or, you know, that you feel this way. You know, sometimes we don't think our feelings are valid. And so I just want to open up those conversations. I want to start, you know, hearing other women's stories. And I want women to like, no. And, you know, when you were talking about the mental work earlier, the thing is, is when I was explaining about the woman who said my story really resonated with her, I think what we don't talk a lot about is that in my generation, I'm not saying we were supposed to sit and be quiet. I'm not very good at that anyway. But we were also kind of told that our stories didn't matter, right? That they weren't important. Enough that we needed to let the men speak. And, you know, and so for me, as I'm like, oh, no, you know, our stories matter. What you're going through matters. You matter.

Absolutely.

And that's where I just want women to be.

That's. That's where the gold is. And. And, you know, on that same point, what you keep a secret is the thing that keeps you in prison. It controls you. It keeps you small.

Yes.

And when whatever it is that you're hiding or keeping that you don't want anyone to know, whatever that is, once you release that into the world, that's when you take your power back. That's when the thing doesn't have power over you, you have power over it. And. And, oh, my gosh, to be able to impact other women, I mean, wow, that is. That is huge.

And, you know, that's only the hope, you know, and, you know, my friend that was so wound up the other night about, you know, me writing the book or the bullies or the haters or whatever, and I said, well, honey, what that means is, is you think a lot of people are going to read it, and that can be our only hope. Yeah. You know.

Yeah.

So. And I. And I. And that was. That was kind of like. And it was interesting because after that conversation with him is actually when I read the Oprah quote, that you could either, you know, step into your life or you could hide in the shadows. And I was like, you know, I know exactly what I'm doing. Like, I know. Not that I know what I'm doing, but I know exactly that I'm where I'm sitting. Supposed to be.

Right?

And so, you know, and you told me in December, you're like. You're like, laurie, you have to step into your truth here. I was like.

I remember that.

I was like, oh, God, like, that's so hard, you know, And. But I think you keep growing, you keep reading, you keep learning, and you keep listening. Because I think I've not always been the best listener. And now that I'm coaching as much as I'm coaching to listen to women, and, you know, just here's one great example. And this is, you know, probably a big part of my marriage is that, you know, I. We as women are taught that we need to stay in a place if we're not being hurt, if we are not, you know, if we're not broke, if they're not beating us, if they're not spending our money drinking, gambling or whatever. And, you know, it was interesting because I knew my marriage wasn't enough. My husband knew our marriage wasn't enough, and I knew he was too kind to leave me. And, you know, I had to step into that truth and say, listen, this is not working. And, you know, he is so much happier. I'm so much happier. I'm in the most amicable divorce in history. But what I hear over and over and over for women is that, you know, I. I didn't. I didn't feel like I could say this wasn't enough. And that's what I think is important, is that there are many times in our life that maybe this job isn't enough, maybe this relationship isn't enough. Maybe, you know, maybe what, your experience in your life isn't enough. So that's when we have to take action and do something about it. And that's not always easy. And. And, you know, and maybe if we can open up some of these conversations through podcasts like this or the Summit or the book or whatever, then other women will support women to say, hey, you know, you can have something different or something more awesome.

So good. Wow, that's so good. So what are you going to share with us at the summit? Speaking of the summit, what. What do you got? What do you got for us?

You know, I'm gonna pick a couple of chapters from the book, and we're gonna dive in. One of them, you know, is the list. You know, people keep asking, what, I'm gonna finish the book, and I'm like, I keep coming up with content, and so I've kind of had to shut that down because, you know, we've. I've got to get it finished. I'm looking for a literary agent right now. I've decided that I do want a publisher. You know, that's been the big question. Or do you want to self publish?

Yes.

Yeah. And I really do want a publisher. I want. I want that full experience, you know, I think that comes from the music world, you know. Right. You know, I've been very blessed to work with some big celebrities and be on tours and all of that, and. And I thought, you know what? I go big or go home. That was our first podcast.

Yep, I remember. And there you go. I am not surprised by that.

Yeah, it's like, you know, so I. I got some great advice about finding a literal literary agent, so I'm looking for that so I can, you know, so I can actually have a publisher, I think.

Excellent.

You know, I want that. I want that opportunity, and I just, you know, so I There's going to be a couple of chapters I really want to dig in, in the summit and really talk about because, you know, you and I are going to have a conversation like this. That's my always, my preference. I can stand on a stage and speak all day long and tell people my opinions on everything, but I like to have a back and forth conversation, you know, with some questions and, you know, and to give, you know, the audience some, you know, some really good feedback on the content and.

Excellent.

But, you know, one of the, one of the big topics is, you know, women putting themselves back on the list. Self care is tough. People don't do that. And, you know, I had a friend that almost died this spring and, you know, and so I just, I think I want to discuss that. And I'm, I'll keep the other one a little. I'll keep that one close the net. The other one I want to discuss. But I think we're really going to dive into a couple of chapters of the book and dig into that and kind of, you know, feel, you know, figure out what, you know, it's interesting. The more I share the book, the more I see the aha moments in women's faces. And I love that. I love when I know it's resonating with someone else. And so.

Excellent. Well, I cannot wait to dig into those chapters. That's awesome.

And I'm sure we will, and I'm sure we will talk a lot about, you know, do a little business talk too.

Yes, definitely.

You know, female entrepreneurs and starting your own business and how to start and you know, what the jumping points are from that and how, you know, and I'll go back to this, we talked about this in the first podcast too, is that, you know, women are really taught to play it safe. And, you know, I want women to figure out, you know, their purpose, their life, what they want, you know, what they want different. And as I've said over and over and over again, I'm sure most people can tell that I'm pretty much a feminist, but I also am not such a feminist to know that there are women that want families, they want husbands, they want marriages. And I'm all about that too, because I want women to have what they want.

Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Goals for the fourth quarter. You've got those four.

I would love to get this book finished.

Nice. I love that. Okay, well, now that, now it's out in the universe. So there you go.

Yes. Well, perfect. You know, and in my business, there's A there's the next level. You know, I would like. I said, I've got a lot of girls on my team running after a $3,500 Christmas bonus. I would love to see them all do that. What I want to do is I want to use some of my bonus to bless a woman with the Keep a Breast Foundation. So with my mother being a breast cancer survivor, Keep a Breast foundation is my charity of choice. They are based in California. And Chaney Jo is one of the most amazing, kind of magical women, and she's an artist, started a foundation 20 years ago, and so they raise money to help breast cancer survivors. And so they do. They do scholarships. And so I want, you know, I want to participate with her and, you know, provide a woman, you know, with a scholarship this holiday season. And so, you know, for my. For me, my goals are I would love to promote, you know, who wouldn't? I want to watch my. My girls promote my team. I want to watch my clients be successful. You know, I want them to, like, feel great. I've got a lot of clients that are preparing for weddings and vacations and big birthdays, you know, you know, 50th birthdays, 40th birthdays. So I want to watch my clients succeed. I want to watch my team succeed. I want to. I want to continue to connect with women that need more, Want more that, you know, that are looking. That need some help, some support, you know, just some overall encouragement. So that's for me. And then I would love to finish the book. And, you know, I have a lot of bucket list goals for myself. You know, maybe we'll discuss those at the summit. But, you know, I think those are the things that, you know, are really important to me. I'm always, like, striving to see what's next and, you know, where we go from here and what's, you know, what's left. But, you know, Pamela, as, you know, as women, we in. As business owners, we are, you know, always, like, creating content and creating, you know, merchandise and creating, you know, adding to websites and, you know, all of those things. And I just feel like there's. That we all. That we get kind of caught up in it, but that it's always nice to just sit down. And when you wrote that on the, you know, on my question on my paper and you said, you know, what are your goals? It really made me sit and sit with that for a minute to think, you know, what do I want by the end of the year? Because I think it's only we're less than 100 nine days away from 2022. So what I actually asked my clients the other day was, do you want to start 2022, you know, with the same habits and feeling the way you do right now, or do you want to start 2022 feeling better and feeling more in control of your life?

Awesome. That's. That's fantastic. I want to highlight one thing that you said.

Yes, ma'. Am.

That. That I. I believe in so, so much. A lot of times I do business coaching with women, and oftentimes they get hung up on how much money they should make, how much earning power they have, and, well, it's just this product, so I'm only going to ask that much for it. You know what? That's absolute bull. That is crap. I mean, that's crap. And here's the thing, and you touched on it with your philanthropy of choice, the Keep Abreast Foundation. The more wealth, Lori, that you generate, the more opportunity you have to give away. The more you get, the more you can give. So by becoming financially stable and financially successful, wildly financially successful, does not make you greedy, does not make you anything other than the fact that the more wealth you generate, the more wealth you can give back. That's what it's about is. Is creating more so you can give more. It's not just, well, I just do this, and I'm going to give away my services. Oh, I'm. It's not really worth that much. I don't believe in that. No, I mean, what you do is bigger than you. What you do is bigger than you. And what if you could, you know, just write a check for $50,000 to your keep a Breast Foundation? How incredible would that be? That's. That's huge.

Well, and, you know, and I just. I said that the very beginning. You know, nothing feels better than giving back. That's been a huge part of my life. And, you know, I knew my marriage was in trouble really early on. And I'll never forget, two things happened. I got a dog, and I started volunteering with Humane Society of Tulsa, even from Texas. And then that ended up being a job, which led to even a bigger job. But I started volunteering, creating merchandise, because that's something I've always loved to do. I actually sold merchandise on the road when I was young for a country singer. So I just. So I've always loved merch. But then the second thing is that, you know, when I got into. When I started, like, focusing on feeding the homeless in Texas, you know, Working with organized organizations like Tom Shoes and Feed Projects and promoting those companies that were doing good. And, you know, really, I kind of dove into conscious consumerism. I realized that the more I thought about somebody else, the less I thought about myself. And that was really impactful. When I was struggling with my marriage and, you know, trying to figure, you know, trying to figure out, like, what I was going to do. And then I was like, oh, and then I was like, where you've got to do something for somebody else and quit worrying about all this. And, you know, and that's what I did. I kind of, you know, buried myself in that. But I just. I'm a firm believer in it. I'm a firm believer in giving back. I'm a firm believer. I mean, even, like. And it doesn't even have to be that big, but it's like, you know, like, during the pandemic, I went out more than most people. I'd had Covid illness, I had antibodies. So I tipped more or less. I, you know, you know, I would, you know, donate to somebody's GoFundMe if they had, you know, if they were out of work or they were trying to pay for their child's surgery or, you know, like, I have a girlfriend who uses, like, the Ronald McDonald's homes, and, like, I would send money for her to buy. Buy snacks for the children. You know, it doesn't have to be $50,000. It can be, you know, 100 here or 20 here or even $10 for your waitress. It's like, you know, I think think we as human beings, like, we have this opportunity to give back all the time, and I think we kind of forget that, and we. And I just feel like once we, like, start that, like, everything gets better. Like, everything feels better. Everything feels like, like you're authentic and you're excited about life, and you're like, I'm helping somebody else. And. And it's just like kind of this euphoria of, like, oh, my gosh, like, I can make an impact even in the smallest way. I mean, literally, Pamela, you. And I could do a whole podcast on just like, like, all the companies that I love. I will never forget ever in my life. The first day I ever saw product read on Oprah, I cried. I literally sat there with, I mean, crocodile tears. I cried. And I thought, there is no way I can go buy that cute shirt at the Gap and change somebody's life and provide AIDS medication for a person in Africa. And literally, I went, bought that shirt, hunted it down, it Was not easy because after it was on Oprah, it's hard to find. I still have it. I still have it in my closet to this day, because those were the things that made me feel like, okay, I'm not alone. I can make an impact. I can do something different. And, you know, and it's like, so for us to talk about giving back, I mean, the holidays are coming. You know, how do we want to help other people? You know, and that's one thing we've talked about with our bonuses on my team is like. Like, how many angels could we pull off of a tree? How many.

Oh, my gosh, that's awesome.

How many dog beds could we donate to a shelter? Like, all of these things.

So much.

Yeah. I mean, it's. Their opportunities are endless.

Awesome. Awesome. Okay, I've got one final question for you. Rapid fire question.

Yes.

Why should everyone listening come to the virtual summit?

Oh, my gosh. Because women have got to start collaborating and not competing. Because women need inspiration and encouragement to. To live their life to the fullest. You know, I'm always about, you know, encouraging women not to play it safe. This is going to be a day where you're going to be inspired, encouraged. You're going to, you know, you're going to hear real stories from real people about, you know, how to start a business, how to, you know, how to deal with being a mother and having a business full time. You know, how, like, with me, like, how it is to live unconventionally. Like, what. What we want women to have for the future. What. How do you want to spend the rest of your life? You know, and I think what I want everyone to also know is I'm 48 years old. Like, I'm writing my first book at 48, and it's never too late to be what you might have been. And I think also we all have this burning passion inside of us. And what is that? Is it that we want to start painting again? Is it that we want to create, you know, jewelry? Is it that we want to start our own business? We want to be a coach. We want to be. You know, there are just. I have, you know, you're. Maybe you're into graphic design and. Or web design, and you put it on the back burner while your children were little or, you know, I just think there are so many opportunities for women to really figure out how to level up their life. I loved it when you put that in a newsletter. And I'm. And I'm excited about that. That. Because, you know, this will be the first time the three of us are working together. And I think, you know, it's going to be, you know, stories of compassion and encouragement and, and truth. I think there's going to be a lot of truth shared. And I think, you know, that's like when you said, when we step into our truth, the shame ends. And I'll never forget, I actually even said that in the last podcast, that when you had me, like, when I told my truth about my divorce for the first time time last October, and I had been divorced two and a half years, everything about that day in that week made everything better. And it was like I. Yeah, it's like I stepped into the light of that. And then it's like, now I talk about it so much that it's just like, routine and it's helped so many other people to say, yeah, it's not enough, and that's okay to say it's not enough or that you want something more, you want something better. And, and it's just opened up a lot of conversations. So I just think women that, that are just looking for a little light in the darkness maybe, you know, a little hope, a little encouragement. I think it would be the perfect platform for them. And plus, it's like, it's, you know, it's a Sunday afternoon in your pajamas, and who doesn't love that? And to, you know, everybody's listening to podcasts like yours. Everybody's, like, watching a lot of self, you know, doing, you know, self development, reading books, everything. It's like, just come. Just come play with us for the afternoon.

So good. Oh, my gosh. You know, we have had so many conversations about the summit and planning meetings.

Yes.

I mean, we've had accountability every Wednesday for, like, how many months now? It's been so long. And, and it's since May.

Wow.

So for. For me to see this all coming together, I'm so excited. You know, we've. We've shifted, we've pivoted. We've done all the things, things that we know. Invite your friends to, to listen in. So after the this summit, you have friends that you can connect with and say, hey, what did you think about that? Did you take notes on this? This is meant to build each other up, to help us grow one another, to see our potential, to get in touch with your dreams again. Do you still have a dream or where is it at? Do you even know who you are, are anymore? You know, it's. It's a tough place to be. Life, honestly, has kicked us all around the last couple of years with COVID and Covid fatigue is. Is a very, very real thing. Well, this summit is to teach you to step into your truth, to live your very, very best life and start making the plans to change your life. Your life can be exactly what you want it to be. Some of you don't even know where to begin, and that's okay. We'll help you with that. We'll give you some tools to. How do I figure out what I want to do? When I was 20 something, before children and marriage, I wanted to do this, but that's not my desire anymore. I don't know what my desire is. We're going to help you get in touch with yourself again and motivate you to make those differences. Lori, oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for today. I know I said, let's try to keep it to 30 minutes, and here we are at 48.

I knew we weren't going to be.

Able to do it, but we tried.

I was like, girl, remember, I'm a storyteller.

I know, but it's like, you know, okay. It's okay because it's all good, good information. So, friends, thank you so much for joining us today. Come to the summit. You. You have to be there. I will have a link in the description of this podcast for you to go to, or you can simply go to my website, pamela jean, new life.com. click on the Women's leadership button. That'll take you right to registration. I have some awesome merchandise that I've put together. I just got my sweatshirt in yesterday. I'm so excited. No, I'm so excited. I'm going to take some pictures in it and post it over the weekend or as soon as I can get to that. But I'm super excited about that. So check out the merchandise. There's notebooks and sweatshirts and ball caps and all kinds of fun things. So I'd love to have everyone be a part of that and build this community. So, friends, thank you. Thank you for joining us today. It is such an honor.

And again, Pamela, for having me again, thank you.

Oh, my gosh. We had to, had to get your update. And thank you for all of your honesty and, and all of your truth and wise, wise knowledge that you've shared with us today. Lori, everyone, make this an incredible day. Go out and live your life to the very fullest. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.