Do The Hard Thing! It's Time to Make Your Dream Become a Reality

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I'm Pamela Jean, your host. Thank you so much for being here today. The sponsor of our podcast today is the Women's Fellowship, which is currently located in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Watch for a chapter opening up in your area very soon. This is an exciting group that is for women focused on fellowship, focused on relationship, that will be coming to your area soon. So look for that. Thank you so much for the Women's Fellowship, for your sponsorship. Well, welcome to the podcast today. I am your host, Pamela Jean. Today we are diving into a topic that has the power to transform your life. We're talking about doing the hard thing. Yes, the hard thing. The thing you've been avoiding. The thing that scares you. The thing that feels impossible. It's time to make your dream a reality. And you can do that. It's absolutely so doable. Are you ready, my friend? I hope so, because. Let's go. First of all, we want to start off understanding what the hard thing is. The hard thing is big. It's daunting, or a goal that stands between you and your dream. It's the mountain that you need to climb, the marathon you need to run, the business you need to build, or the relationship you need to heal. You know, friends, I chose this topic today because this is a topic that can completely filter and be a part of your life and a part of your business. You're going to come up against hard things in business, and you have to figure out how to do the hard thing to make your business become a success. Same thing with your relationships. You're going to have hard things. And maybe there's a relationship that you're dealing with right now that needs to heal. Maybe you need to heal. Maybe it's about forgiveness or guilt or shame. But this topic, it might sound targeted, but it's actually a very broad topic. So I'm super excited about it, and I know this can change your life. So I want you to pause for a minute and think about your dream for a moment. Close your eyes, if you can, and visualize this dream. What does it look like? How does it feel? What's the hard thing you must do to get the solution or resolution that you want and need? Or what is the hard thing you must do to get that dream to become a reality? Maybe it's quitting your job and starting your business. Maybe it's time to go back to school. Maybe it's time to have a difficult conversation with someone that you love. Whatever it is, it will require courage, a lot of effort, and a lot of resilience. But remember, the hard thing is hard for a reason. It's meant to challenge you, to push you beyond your comfort zone and to help you grow. So embrace that challenge, friends. Accept that it will be tough, but also know that it will be worth it. Anything that is worth it, that is truly worth it in your life is hard. Nothing comes easy. That's worth it. But it will be worth it. A question I have for you is why do you avoid the hard thing? Now we need to talk about why we avoid the hard thing to have a better understanding of why we are where we are. We are wired as humans to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve our energy. It's like a survival technique. But this wiring is what's going to hold you back from achieving the goal, repairing the relationship, moving forward. We avoid the hard thing because it's uncomfortable. And let's be honest, who likes to be uncomfortable? It's easier just to close in on ourselves and avoid. Sometimes the hard thing triggers our fears and our insecurities. It forces us to confront our limitations and vulnerabilities. And let's be honest, again, it's easier to stay in our comfort zone than it would be to get out of our comfort zone for growth. And we want to avoid that. We want to avoid the discomfort that comes along with growth. But here's the thing. Avoiding the hard thing does not make it disappear. You know, I think about it like this. If you're walking along a gravel road and you come across a can in the middle of the road, you kick the can up the road, eventually you're going to come up to the can again. It's still going to be there. It's still going to be there. And I think sometimes our problems, our issues, the things that are holding back are things that will just kick the can down the road. But eventually we're going to come up against that again. It's not going away until we remove it. And that's what is really, really important. So avoiding the hard thing doesn't make it disappear. It just keeps us stuck, keeps us from reaching our full potential and living the life that we truly want, and quite honestly, the life that you deserve. So the first step to doing the hard thing is understand, why am I avoiding it and committing to ourselves to face it head on. Acknowledge your fears and insecurities, but don't let them control you. Remember, you are capable of more than what you think and also whatever you give energy in your life that will become your reality. So if your energy is going to stay stuck, like I don't want to deal with it, I want to avoid everything, then that's what your reality will be. But if you exert energy on overcoming that's what your reality is going to be. You are in complete and total control of that. So I want to share a few strategies for doing the hard thing. We're going to get really practical. How do we just do the hard thing? Here are some strategies to help you get started and hopefully help you stay on track. You need to break it down. The hard thing often feels overwhelming because it's big and complex. But break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on one step at a time and celebrate your progress along the way. Sometimes when we set a goal or we put our mind to something, we think that I'm just going to do this big goal thing and I'm going to do it all at one time. And then we quickly become overwhelmed and then we get stuck again. We started, but then we got stuck again. And the question I always ask is, how do you eat an elephant? Not all at once. You eat one tiny bite at a time. And overcoming your fear of doing the hard thing is no different. Just take one tiny step. What step? What one thing can you do today? What can you do today? Just one small thing. Over time, as those days compound, you're going to be making bigger strides. And before you know it, you'll be out from under your fear of doing the hard thing. Create a plan. That's the next strategy. You have to have a plan. Having a clear plan will make it feel a lot more achievable. Outline what you need to do. Set deadlines. Hold yourself accountable. Make sure your plan is flexible and realistic so it can adapt if you need to. Because, you know, sometimes I think we have good intentions with our goals and but we set them so incredibly high that after just a week or two you're overwhelmed. And then you stop and then you feel like a failure and then the crazy cycle starts all over again. The next strategy is to get some support. You don't have to do the hard thing alone. Seek out family support, friends, mentors, a coach. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and can offer encouragement and guidance. I want to give you just a little bit of caution when you are Sharing your big dream, the hard thing, the big goal that you're trying to set up for. Be careful about who you seek out support from. Because honestly, sometimes the people closest to us are not the best people to seek out support. That's probably a completely another podcast topic, so I'm gonna leave that there. But just be careful of who you seek out support from. The next one is embrace your discomfort. Doing the hard thing is going to be uncomfortable. Get used to that feeling of, you know what reality is. I'm going to be uncomfortable for a while. If I stay comfortable, that means I stay in my comfort zone and nothing productive happens there. Accept that discomfort is part of the process and learn how to embrace it. This is a mind over matter situation and I know you can do this. But remember, growth happens outside of that comfort zone. I can't stress that enough. The next thing is to stay focused. It's easy to get distracted. It's easy to lose motivation when things get hard. Probably the biggest vice for most people is it's easy to jump back into those old habits. Your old habits, your old way of solving problems and handling situations did not work the first time. It's not going to work the second time. So stay focused. The reason you're doing the hard thing is for that special gain, for that dream, for that new job, for that better relationship. Keep your eye on that prize. Keep your dream in sight and remind yourself of what it's like when you achieve and accomplish. It will be worth the effort. And the last little tip in this segment is practice self compassion. Be kind to yourself. Doing the hard thing is not about being perfect, but it's about making progress. Celebrate the successes and learn from your setbacks. It's so important. You know, setbacks are setups. They're never failures. Because a setback is simply education to help you reach the next step and level. So in my opinion, setbacks are setups. Always treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer a friend. I often wonder, how is it that, and I think women fall into this category pretty significantly, how is it that we will fight to the death for our children? If someone is mistreating our children, watch out, mama bear is coming, right? Or if someone is hurting someone, we love our parents, our best friend. We are there just to fight to the death, right? That's how we are. But when it comes to fighting for ourselves, then the game is completely different and changed. So give yourself that self compassion. Fight for yourself in the same way that you would. You would fight for Your children or a family member, a loved one or a best friend. Give yourself that same love and respect. When you start treating yourself with the love and respect that you would those that are close to you, your level of self esteem and confidence will just immediately start to shift and rise. It's amazing. So don't let yourself down, don't discredit what you're doing, don't sabotage yourself, but practice that self compassion. So I want to give you some real life examples. These are just some really good examples of how some people that I know have overcome those crazy, crazy hard obstacles and reach their goals. So Sarah hated her job. She dreamed of starting her own business, but was terrified of failing. Aren't we all? I mean, when I started my first business 21 years years ago, I was afraid of failing. What was I going to do if it didn't work out? But she decided to do the hard thing and quit her job. She jumped in with both feet. It wasn't easy. There were many sleepless nights and moments of doubt. But she persevered. And today she runs a very successful business and loves what she does. My friend, if it's about your job or starting your business, you can do that too. You can do that too. So John struggled with his weight for years. He knew he needed to make a change, but kept putting it off. How many of us make bad food choices every single day and just say, oh, I'll do better tomorrow or I'll start on Monday. Monday will be a better day to start. It's the beginning of the week. I'll start on Monday. But one day he decided to do the hard thing and commit to that healthier lifestyle. Started small, gradually made gradual changes to his diets and the diet and exercise routine. It's tough. I mean, if you have ever tried to lose weight or stay fit or stay healthy, it is difficult. But today he's healthier, happier, and could not be more confident. And friends, the thing is, it's easier to stay healthy than it is to get healthy. So once you get healthy, you will learn how to stay there because it's a lot easier to stay healthy than it is to get healthy. And one more story from a client, Emily. Emily has always wanted to write a book, but she was afraid of rejection. Nobody likes rejection. You know, if I think about rejection, it takes me back to like the schoolyard, the playground. At elementary school, I was not particularly a fast runner. I'm athletic, but I wasn't very fast. So you can imagine when we're playing kickball, or dodgeball or things like that. I definitely was not picked first because I was not as fast as a lot of the other kids. That is the feeling of rejection. We all have those insecurities and that fear around rejection from one point in your life or another. But my client, Emily, decided to do the hard thing and start writing. She just started writing. She didn't worry about perfection. She just started. She faced many challenges. I was there with her along the way to help her with the self doubt. But she kept going. After many months of hard work, she finished her book, found a publisher, and now she is a published author. You know these stories. I just share those with you because you're not alone in your journey of overcoming and trying to reach your biggest goals and dreams. Everyone that has started a business has had doubts. They have had fears. Everyone that has made a career change or a relationship change or whatever it is, we all experience fear and doubt. You look at other people and think sometimes that, wow, they have it all together. It's easy for them. They're better at this than I am. I promise you. Even the most successful person that you know in your life right now has struggled or is struggling with the same types of fears and doubts that you do right now. You are not alone, my friend. So we want to talk now about overcoming those setbacks and staying motivated. Because that can be difficult. So here's just a few examples of what to look at when you start getting derailed. How you can stay motivated and overcome some of those obstacles. So reframe the setback. Instead of seeing setbacks as failures, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of immediately letting your mind slide into that self doubt of oh, you're such a failure, you are terrible. You can't do this. Reframe that in. Okay, what am I learning? What's my lesson? How can I grow? And start making a list of all of the things that you learn on this journey and all of these ways that you are growing. Stay flexible. Sometimes things don't go as planned. Our plans are not always the plan that becomes the reality. Being willing to adjust your plan and be adaptable to a new circumstance is really, really crucial. Being flexible is just the best way for you to navigate those challenges and helping you stay on track. Find your motivation. Staying connected to your why? Why are you doing what you're doing? Write it down. Create a vision board. Set reminders. Put a sticky note on the mirror as you're getting ready, but find what keeps you motivated and use it to fuel your perseverance so you don't allow those setbacks to cloud your vision and to get in your way. Celebrate the small wins. Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This is going to help build your momentum and keep you motivated. So whatever that little success looks like, go buy yourself flowers. Go treat yourself to an ice cream. Whatever it is, be sure to celebrate the wins, large and small. Practice gratitude. I think you know the saying, Gratitude changes the attitude. That could not be more true and so, so very valuable. Focus on what you're grateful for, even when it's difficult. When the times are difficult, focus on what you're grateful for. Gratitude can shift your perspective and help you stay positive. There is nothing more true than that. If you are down in the dumps and you are feeling like a failure and you feel like, I can't do this, I'm such a loser, why am I even bothering? I want you to go to your local homeless shelter and feed some hungry families. I want you to go to the domestic violence center and see the children there that have been dishomed because of domestic violence. When you start pouring into other people that are of much greater need than you, you, your whole mindset is going to shift and change. Gratitude absolutely does change the attitude. And I will encourage you to lean into being grateful for what you do have, not resentful or sad for what you don't have. Okay, last little topic here on reaching those hard goals and doing the hard thing is your calls to action. You can do all the planning in the world. You can plan until you're blue in the face. But if you're not creating and, and doing anything that is active, creating action around it, you're gonna still stay stuck. So I want you to think about this. What the, what's the hard thing that you must do to make your dream a reality? I want you to think about that for a few minutes and I want you to write it down. So what's the hard thing that you must do, that you must do to make your dream become a reality? Write it down. Commit to doing it. I challenge you. This is your calls to action, my friends. I challenge you to take the first step today. Don't wait till tomorrow. Don't say, oh, I'll do it on Monday after the weekend. Don't say, no, I'll do it, you know, right before bed, right now, today. It doesn't have to be a big step. It can be a tiny step. It just has to be a step in the right direction. Remember, every great accomplishment starts with a single tiny step. So start. You have the power, friends, to make your dream a reality. You have the strength to do the hard thing. Believe in yourself and stay focused and keep going. A dream has been planted in each and every one of us. That dream that sits in your heart is absolutely there for a reason and a purpose that is bigger than you and bigger than me. The dream is not an accident. Lean into that dream. That is your purpose that lives within you. You've got this, my friends. You can absolutely, 1,000% do this. Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you found this episode helpful. Please share it with someone who needs a little extra motivation, a little extra encouragement, and don't forget to subscribe to A New Life podcast for more inspiration and practical advice. So Spotify Apple Podcast. It's on my website as well. Please subscribe Share it with your friends. If you would like it and leave us a review, I would really appreciate it. I read all of those reviews. They mean a lot to me and I just really appreciate you spending time with me today. This is Pamela Jean, your host and I'm signing off. Make it a great day.

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