Don't Be A Quitter!

Welcome to a New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello, my friends, and welcome to the very first episode of 2025 happ. Happy New Year to everyone. Thank you so much for being here. I don't know about you, but can you believe we're in 2025 already? This is just crazy. Well, my name is Pamela Jean. I'm your guide today. I'm going to help you step boldly into a life of intention, success, and fulfillment. Today we are going to talk about how to launch into 2025 with clarity and purpose. Most importantly, how to avoid becoming of the statistics we hear called National Quitters Day. Did you know that the second Friday of every year is called National Quitters Day? I don't know about you, but I do not want to be a quitter if I can help it. So the second Friday of every year is considered National Quitters Day. This year, it falls on January 10th. That's right. By the second week of January, a large percentage of people have already given up on their their New Year's resolutions and their New Year's goals. But not us, friends. Not me and you. We are going to make it different this year. In the podcast today, I'm going to talk to you about how to stick to your commitments this year, how to fulfill those resolutions and reach those goals that I know you've set for yourself. I think every year we all step into the year with new form of hope. We hope for the job to be better, the business to grow, the relationships to mend. I think we all step in with a new feeling of hope of a new year, especially after coming off of the holiday season where we celebrate Christmas and the birth of Christ. But you're so busy through that whole time. You're busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas, shopping and eating and eating and shopping. It seems like that's all that gets accomplished during the entire month of December in between that window. But we're so busy being busy with holiday parties and gatherings and celebrating the new year, we're kind of overwhelmed and we're ready for downtime. I don't know about you, but I felt like every Thursday for the last two weeks was another Monday because it was the day after a holiday which landed in the middle of the week. And every Thursday, I felt like I had two or three Mondays every week. And nobody wants that, right? So 2025 is a time for us to hit the reset button and really focus differently. We're going to do it differently this year, my friends, to focus on those goals. Set attainable, reachable goals and fulfill the resolutions that you have committed to and set for yourself. So I think the first thing that we need to address is why does National Quitters Day happen? Why is it even a thing? Well, I think we all can fall into this, I know I have, is we set unrealistic goals for ourselves. We set out really, I don't know, overly ambitious. Overly ambitious goals that are vague, really vague, without a clear plan to reach them. For instance, I want to lose 30 pounds a month in a month, or I'll never eat junk food again. Or for me, if I would ever say I'm going to do the carnivore diet, well, of course that's not going to work for me because I don't even like meat that well. So that's not going to be a diet for me. But we set unrealistic expectations and they lead to frustration and burnout very quickly and ultimately we give up. And sometimes it's within the first, first couple of weeks of the year. Another aspect of falling into the National Quitters Day trap is lack of clarity. We don't have a clear why. Why are we trying to reach the set goal? Goals without a deeper purpose are hollow. People who don't have an emotional connection to the why of they want to reach that goal are going to be less motivated to go after it, less motivated to see it cross the finish line. An example of that would be I want to get fit. Well, that's pretty vague. I want to get fit. Well, don't we all want to get fit? But here's another way to think about it. Here's a deeper why. I want to feel more energetic, to be a good role model for my children. That's inspiring. I want to be healthy so I can chase after my kids and crawl around on the floor and go up and down the slide at the park. And I feel that way with my grandchildren. I want to be able to do all of those things with them and not feel like, oh, you know, Gami is too tired. Gami just can't get off the floor. Gammy can't climb a ladder safely. I don't want to fall into that. So staying fit and healthy and taking care of my body has a lot more meaning and value when I attach it to my children and my grandchildren. Another pitfall is you don't have a real plan or a system. Many people focus on the Outcome rather than the process. Like, I want to get fit, okay? That's what I want. I want to be fit. But we fail to create a system to achieve it. And that requires us to reverse engineer what our goal is. Like. If you want to lose 30 pounds, if that's what your goal is, well, how long do you want to work on that goal? Is it 90 days? Is it 6 months? What does that look like? Once you decide the time frame, attach it to a why, then reverse engineer how you're going to get there. So if you want to lose 30 pounds in 90 days, for instance, well, how many pounds do you have to lose every single day to have lost 30 pounds by the time you reach your 90 days? What small things can you do every single day to get you one step closer to losing the 30 pounds? Start with drinking more water. That's easy. Instead of, you know, having, you know, 8 ounces a day, up it to 16 and then take it up to 20, take it up to 30 ounces, just keep growing it every day without saying, I'm going to start drinking a gallon of water a day starting tomorrow. Well, if you haven't drank water specifically for a long time, that's going to be really difficult. And if you miss that first milestone you've set for yourself, which is quite unrealistic, honestly, you're going to quit and fall into that trap and become a statistic of National Quitters Day. The next pitfall really is motivation. Motivation is great for starting something new, but what happens when we lose our momentum of that motivation? What happens when we wake up extra tired because we ate badly the day before? Or I have a little bit of a headache, I just don't feel like getting out of bed? Motivation is fleeting. When the initial excitement fades, it's like the honeymoon stage of your goal setting and your motivation fades. Many of us lack the discipline to keep those habits going. So success is more about consistency than bursts of inspiration. So think about the little things that you can do every single day to reach that goal and help you stay motivated. That all or nothing thinking is another pitfall that will cause you to become a statistic. Perfectionism can be the killer of all progress. My gosh, I can identify with that. I've always had a high regard that everything has to be perfect and a little bit of OCD in there for me. But perfection is a killer because if you don't do what you say you were going to do in a given day, well, it wasn't perfect. And then we often go into that spin cycle of, well, I blew it. I just as well give up. That was dumb. That was a stupid goal anyway. I quit. Well, perfection is seriously a killer of all hopes and dreams, because nothing will ever be perfect, period. And if you can get that into your brain and really absorb that and realize that, you know what? All I can do is what I can do every single day, just a little bit. The black and white thinking oftentimes prevents people from getting back on track, too. It's all or nothing. Like, it didn't work out. So I screwed up today. Well, I gave up. I quit. It's not worth trying again. Well, that thinking is going to keep you stuck, and it will absolutely keep you from reaching whatever goal you might have positioned yourself to achieve. So another pitfall is external pressure instead of internal desire. Oh, I'm going to say that again. I want you to listen to this. This is so important. External pressure instead of internal desire. Goals that we set to impress other people or conform to societal expectations rarely stick. If you're getting healthy because of what your spouse will think of you, what you hope your spouse will think of you, or what your friends will think of you, or if you want financial gain because of what your peers and your business associates will think of you, I can promise you that goal will never reach fulfillment. And if it does, you may actually reach your goal, but it will be completely hollow because it was an external, external goal, not an internal desire. The goals that you set are really about you. They're not about other people. And if the reason you're setting these goals are to impress other people or to get attention from other people, or to make you look a certain way, you are not. The feelings that you will get from that goal are not going to match how you want to look in those goals. It keeps it a really trivial and surface goal. And another pitfall I want to talk about is neglecting to track your progress. We get busy. I know I've had a great week so far and I'm so excited to be into a new year, but we have to track our progress of those goals. I'm going to go back to the weight loss goal. If you want to lose your 30 pounds in 90 days, keep track of your daily progress. What did I do today to work towards that goal? Write that down. Get a goal journal. Get your notebook out and write down what did I do intentionally today to work towards that goal. Did I cut out sugar today? Did I add more water? Did I exercise more? Did I add 10 more minutes to my Workout. What did you do today to reach that goal and go towards that and track your progress? It's really, really important to do that and plan a little party for yourself when you lose the first ten pounds. Plan a party, whatever that looks like. Maybe if it's a virtual coffee with some girlfriends that live all over the country to celebr your win. Maybe it's a little retail therapy, maybe you go buy those shoes you've been looking at, but you haven't pulled the trigger to get. Maybe it's just a little something to celebrate yourself with. So be sure to track and celebrate those little successes because those little successes are going to keep the momentum going and build and grow your confidence. Don't overwhelm yourself with too many big goals. Too many big goals is really not sustainable. Now I do believe that having multiple goals in different areas of your life are very, very important. That helps with the work life balance. The balancing between your businesses and your career and your relationships is so, so important. But if you have a big, huge goal in every single category, you're not going to reach it. I do something called a wellness assessment and we rate yourself in eight different pillars, life and business pillars that help you decide. Where do I need big goals set? Maybe it's financial, maybe it's career, maybe it's spiritual, maybe it's social, maybe it's relational. We assess what categories need the big goals, set the big goals in those categories that are in the most need and smaller maintenance type of goals in the other areas. If you have your spiritual wellness dialed in, where you spend time with God every day, you have your prayer time, you're centered spiritually, you probably don't need more goals set there. You have kind of a maintenance plan that you figure out. But if you're looking at blowing up your career this year, where you have got to get further education, you have to reach sales goals, whatever that might look like, maybe that's the area that we need to set bigger goals and we would assess that and do that accordingly. But don't do too many big ones because too many big ones is impossible. You'll never be able to reach them. Another pitfall is you don't have a support system. Don't do this in secret, friends. Don't try to reach big goals and shake up 20, 25 without some support. Lack of accountability or encouragement is going to make it easy quit. So if you're trying to exercise every single morning for 365 days, well, I hope you have a workout partner or an Accountability partner that every day will text you and say, hey, wake up, get up, go to the gym, it's time. Or check in and say, hey, girl, did you do your workout today? How can I support you there? But make sure you have a support system. It's extremely important to bring someone into your fold, someone who you can trust. Someone who will hold you accountable, kindly and lovingly, but will keep your feet to the fire when you feel like quitting or when you let up on reaching that goal. Another thing is failure to anticipate obstacles. Okay, what does that even mean? So life is unpredictable and challenges are inevitable. We all are going to have challenges and things happen in life that are not predictable. Sometimes small obstacles derail our progress and encourage us to stop or quit. You have to have a plan B Always. If your goal is to work out every single day, every morning before the kids get up for school, you're going to work out in your basement or up in your gym, in your home gym or whatever that is. And what if your kids wake up sick and they've been in your bed all night and you have had no sleep? Are you going to not power through? Are you going to just say, oh, well, I quit, I didn't want to work out today anyway? No, you are not going to say that. You're going to say, I didn't get a lot of sleep. I may not be able to go 150% today, but I'm going to do my best with what I can do. You're going to have that plan B mindset of do it anyway. Or let's say you go to the gym, you leave your home and for some reason, you know, it's January, we have snow and ice and you're not able to leave your home and go to the gym and workout. What plan B backup plan do you have to work out at home anyway? Have a plan B. There's no excuses, truly. You don't need equipment to work out. You can do body weight resistance exercises all day long in your own home without having equipment and gear. But have that plan. There's so many apps that you can download that are really, really great for home workouts if that is something that could help you. But have a plan B that if you're not able to do what you say you're going to do or want to do daily to reach your goals. What's your plan B? Don't let that obstacle derail you and put you in that spin cycle and say, well, I quit. I give up. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it anyway. So how do you avoid this pattern? There's so many ways that you can set yourself up for success by avoiding these destructive patterns. So first of all, set smart goals. If you are familiar with goal setting, SMART stands for spin specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. So very specific goals. Very, very specific. 30 pounds, 90 days. That specific measurable set markers for yourself. Within the first 10 days, I want to try to lose 3 pounds, 2 pounds, 1 pound, whatever that looks like. Make it measurable and realistic and achievable goals. Don't go crazy with goals that are just not likely to happen. Make them achievable, relevant goals. Tie your why to why you're doing this goal. Why do I want to lose that weight? Is it for me just to look good for me, that's okay? Is it for me to look good for other people, that's not okay? Is it for me to be my best, healthiest version that I can be so I can play with my children, crawl on the floor, be with my grandchildren, live a long, healthy life? That's a relevant goal and add some time to it so you have an opportunity to reverse engineer. If I want to do this in 90 days, this is how many days I have. This is what I need to do every single day to reach that goal. Focus on one or two bigger goals at a time and build momentum by starting small. That's plain and simple. Start small. Friends, don't try to eat the whole elephant at one time. You will not be able to do it and you're going to quit. You're going to give up. Create systems, set habits and routines to support your goals. You have to have routines. You have to get up every day at the same time each day. No snoozing anymore, friends. You got to shut the snooze button off and get up every day at the same time and get yourself into a good solid morning routine that enfolds and encompasses your goals and what you're trying to accomplish each day. Figure out your why. That's pinnacle. Stay connected to your deeper purposes and build an accountability partner or an accountability team or community. It's so important to have people around you, rallying with you, celebrating each pound that is shed, each milestone that is met. Have people around you to keep your feet to the fire and celebrate your progress. If you put together a little community of accountability, friends and partners, and maybe every, you know, 15 days, you had a virtual zoom where you celebrated your wins, talked about your losses and celebrated. All of those things that you accomplished in that, you know, 10 to 15 days, that is perfect. It'll keep you motivated and it will keep you focused. Okay, so, friends, we're going to shift gears just a little bit. Success doesn't come from setting goals alone. Goal setting, I'm all about goal setting. I think it's extremely important. But you have to have systems to keep you moving forward when things get busy, messy or hard. Look, we don't want to be that statistic of. Of National Quitters Day, right? Because National Quitters Day is coming up. It's not too far from, you know, as I record this, this podcast, National Quitters Day is like five days away. So we don't want to be that statistic, do we? If you ever feel discouraged by a broken resolution, today this episode is your chance to break free from that crazy, crazy cycle of feeling discouraged by breaking your resolutions and not committing to a better, healthier you. So we have to have intention. Intention, the power of intention to reach your goals is really, really important. And it creates an incredible level of clarity. Intention forces you to define your why. Why are you pursuing that goal in the first place? Intention makes you take time. Instead of setting vague goals like, I want to be healthy. The intention requires you to dig deeper. I want to feel strong. I want to be healthy. I want to live to an old age. I want more energy so I can have more time with my family. Those are things that are going to create. Clarity is by creating incredible levels of intention. When the purpose behind your goal is crystal, crystal clear, you're going to be more motivated and you're going to keep going. And when a new challenge is, a challenge arises, you will power through. You will absolutely power through. Your intention also focuses your energy. If you are intentional about the goal and what you're wanting to focus on, whatever you think about your energy will be wrapped around your thoughts. Sometimes if your intentions get scattered and your focus is scattered, it makes it harder to stay 100% committed to that goal. But when your daily actions align, when you align all of your daily actions with your purpose, you direct your energy towards what truly matters. So what you think about, what you focus on is where your energy naturally is going to go towards. It will encompass the goal that you have set, because that's where your focus is. This alignment reduces the distractions. It keeps you centered on what's important, making quitting less appealing. And let's be honest, it's going to be hard at first. It's going to be Hard. I'm not going to lie to you and sugarcoat it and say, oh, yeah, it's easy. Just set a goal and here's some intention. Think about it and boom, it happens. No goals are hard. Changing your life is hard, but it is absolutely worth it. And here's something to think about. Changing your life is hard. Staying in the life that you currently have, that's hard too, right? Choose your hard. Do you want to choose the hard that keeps you stuck? Or do you want to choose the hard that will elevate and push you into the life you've always dreamed of? Choose your hard. My friends, it's really not that that difficult. Okay, let's see. Where do I want to go next? I want to talk about quitting, because that is really where this is focused, right? How do you use intention to avoid quitting again? I'm going to go back to it. I feel like I'm a broken record today. But start with your why before setting any goal. Why does this matter to me? Why is this important to me? Write that down and revisit it often. So have a goal setting journal or notebook. And as you write your goals down, do a brainstorm session and throw your goals out there and then turn the page and write the goals down in order of importance to you. The big goals down to the small goals. And why does this matter to me? What do you want? What do you want from reaching this goal? What will reaching this goal mean to you? What will it mean to you if you wrap that level of intention around your why? Why does this matter to. This will keep you so committed because it matters so deeply to you. So turn your intentions into a mantra. For example, I intend to nurture my health to feel vibrant and alive. Repeat that every single day. I intend to nurture my health to feel vibrant and alive. I intend to nurture my health to feel vibrant and alive. Repeat that every single day. Align your actions with your intentions. Evaluate your habits, your habits. If your habits are not serving you, if your habits are sabotaging you, which, wow, is that really a thing? It is 100%. Our habits can be so hard to break. I mean, how many of you have a bad habit? We all do, right? We all have things that we need to break ourselves free from, what is your bad habit that you need to break yourself free of sometimes? If you have had a bad day at work and you're just going to go home and have wine, well, if you're on a health journey, glasses of wine is probably not going to Serve you or if you have a bad day, you lean into comfort food. How much of the comfort food that you lean into is healthy and good for you? Probably like, not most because it usually requires, you know, pasta and bread and heavy creams. I mean, obviously that's not serving your body. That's not healthy and good for you. So make sure that your habits align with your goals as well and reflect regularly. Take each week to reflect on how your actions align with your intention and how is the progress serving you reaching your goals. You can always course correct. You can always hit a reset button once you've started and take a step back and start again. Just don't give up. Don't become a statistic to end up being part of National Quitters Day. Because I don't want that for you. I do not want that for you. So, friends, I'm gonna wrap this up today. I mean, seriously, I could go on and on and on and on. I could keep going. In fact, I have notes, more notes to cover. But I'm gonna wrap it up because, you know, here's the thing. You're busy. You are busy and you have a lot going on in your life, and I appreciate that. You've spent, you know, nearly 30 minutes of your day listening to my podcast. So I'm gonna and wrap today's podcast up. So stepping into 2025 with intention and success starts with believing that you can create the life you desire. You have to believe it first before you can achieve it second. It's about gratitude, progress, and courage. If you can focus on gratitude every single day, your whole mindset will shift just by being grateful. Gratitude changes the attitude, my friends. And be honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself, with those habits that you need to break as you move through this year. Remember, every choice you make, no matter how small, shapes your future. Every single choice that you make affects your future. Let's make a commitment together right now. This year. We are not giving up. We are showing up. We are staying the course and we are building something extraordinary. You are extraordinary. And we are not going to become a statistic of being a quitter. But friends, thank you for joining me on a new life podcast. I'm excited to see what 2025 holds. 2025 holds for you. If this episode inspired you, please share it with a friend. I would love to help them reach their goals too. So share this with your friends and subscribe. Connect with me on social media or my email address Pamela Jean. A new lifemail.com and I will send you some more tips and inspiration, but until next time, let's start building the life of our dreams. Let's make 2025 the year we didn't just set goals, we lived them and we did not become that statistic. So in closing, I want to recap a couple of takeaways. Set intentional goals rooted in your why build systems that support your success, cultivate a resilient mindset, and celebrate small wins along the way. Don't let January 10, 2025 define your year. You're capable of so much more than you realize, and I'm here to walk right alongside with you every step of the way. So friends, I have a free signed copy of my book with your name on it. All you pay for is the shipping. If we live locally, I can drop it off to you, or you can come by my office and pick it up. Chapter one is dedicated to mindset. That's the chapter that will be the most important for you in setting your goals. Click on the link in the Show Notes and I will send you a copy in the mail. Or we'll make arrangements for me to drop it off to you. I encourage you to follow me again on social or book a virtual coffee with me and let's have a conversation. Let's kickstart the 2025 and make this year the best of your life again. Thank you for joining me friends and make it a great day and make it a great year. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.