Not Choosing IS A Choice

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I'm Pamela Jean, your host. Thank you so much for being here today. I know that your time is very valuable and I want you to know how much I appreciate you spending your time with me today. Today's topic is really a good one. When I'm working with my clients in the coaching world, I think one of the things that so many people have an obstacle with is making choices. And sometimes when it's something that we are not very well educated on or intimidates us, we choose to not choose. So actually not choo. Choosing and making a decision is a choice. And there are always repercussions with every single possible choice that there is. So not Choosing is a Choice is the title for today's topic. I want to explore with you the consequences, the psychology behind the decisions that we don't make. Instead of always thinking about the decisions we do make, what about those decisions that we don't make? Because I think there's a lot that we can learn through the choices that we're not making, typically out of avoidance, and we're going to talk about that in just a little bit. So the nature of a choice. We face countless choices and decisions daily, from mundane to life altering. Every single choice that you make today, every single choice, whether it's what you're going to eat for lunch or if you're going to invest in your business, is life altering. If you make a bad choice about what you're having for lunch, you're going to feel it tomorrow at the gym. Obviously that will happen. If you make a bad choice for lunch, you might end up with an upset stomach. There we go. If you make a choice for your business, you will have some repercussions and there's a cause and effect with that too. But what about the decisions we just avoid and postpone? Are they genuinely devoid of consequences? Are there still consequences to those decisions that you don't make? To understand this, we really have to figure out the essence and unravel the essence of the choice itself. So what drives our decision making process? If you can think of the thing that you're avoiding, is it fear, uncertainty, or simply lack of awareness? Do you just not even know that it's an issue? Sometimes when we avoid making a decision, it's out of lack of education, lack of knowledge. For instance, a lot of women would be the first ones to raise their hand and say, I am not great at math. I don't like numbers, I don't like math. I didn't do well in school in math. So when it comes to managing or setting goals for your budget or your finances, women tend to stick their head in the sand because that's lack of knowledge. Now, does that mean we can't learn? Of course not. Of course we can learn whatever we need to learn. But sometimes our fear of what we don't know holds us back from making good choices and good decisions. So there's several different psychological circumstances that influence our choices. And I want to talk about some of those right now and why some of us find it challenging to make decisions. Indecision can weigh so, so heavy on our minds. Indecision often leading to stress, anxiety and missed opportunities. I see that in business a lot that people just hold off, they don't make good decisions and they miss opportunities. Is it fear? Is it fear of failure? Is it fear of missing out? Why do we hesitate? What is the hesitation about? If you can lean into, what is your hesitation? Is it the fear of failure? What if I fail? What if I succeed? Sometimes people are afraid of succeeding because if you succeed, then you're held to a higher standard. The bar has been raised. And what if you can't handle the raised bar? So through personal experiences and insights, I encourage you to think about why you're hesitating. What is holding you back from making the decision? When you realize that the indecision is affecting your life in ways through relationship and your overall well being. It keeps you up at night, it's stressful, you don't get enough rest, you're not eating properly because you're stressed from analysis paralysis. I know you've heard that before, but you analyze and analyze and analyze and then you still can't make a decision. There is a hidden cost of not choosing. And it's so important that you take the time to figure out, why am I not choosing? When you don't choose, what ends up happening is you dread making a decision. You're dreading doing something I can promise you friends. And dreading is more than the doing. Sometimes you talk yourself out of something like, I don't like to do that, I don't want to have to do that. I don't want to get my taxes ready. I don't want to do this. The dread is worse than the do. And sometimes if you Just rip the band aid off and go into the do and skip the dread. You will get so much more done and you'll have a much happier life. And you're going to sleep well at night, I can promise you that. So embrace the challenge and the idea of making decisions. Whether they're big or small. Each choice that you make shapes your narrative and propels you forward. It's the choices that you don't make that keep you stuck, that keep you exactly where you are. That's the cost of not making decisions, is keeping you stuck where you are. But how do you overcome indecision and embrace the art of decision making? That's a really good question. Where do you start? Start with that. Practical strategies of cultivating clarity. I'm a big person on writing things down. If it's a really big decision, like a business decision or a life decision, you know, do we sell the house and move? Do we stay where we're at? Those are big decisions in life. Get out a piece of paper and make two columns. Pros and cons. Write down the pros of making the decision. The cons of not making the decision. Look at it from all angles. And here's something that is so important. Don't make a quick, rash decision when you're talking about the big things. Don't make quick, rash decisions when you're making rash decisions. Those oftentimes are emotionally charged, and emotionally charged decisions are almost always terrible choices. So if you feel that you're emotionally deeply connected and kind of on that high, it's important that you take a step back and get your emotions out of the way. And that will happen by writing that list of pros and cons. When you do that, you're going to step into a new level of confidence in making that choice in the decision. And your convictions are going to feel more stable from setting priorities or trusting your intuition. This will empower you to navigate life and the crossroads of life with purpose, intention, poise, and meaning. You're not going to feel like the fear of sticking your head in the sand that, you know what? I can make this decision. I can move forward. So, friends, as I wrap up today, I just want you to remember that not choosing is a choice by avoiding a circumstance or a situation is actually a choice. And it comes with consequences. The consequences that ripple the all throughout your life in so many ways that you're not even realizing it's happening. But by acknowledging the power of decision making and confronting your fears of indecision, you can step into the driver's seat of your life. Have you ever felt like someone else was driving your life and you were somehow in the backseat on autopilot? Get in the driver's seat and take charge of your destiny and align with your values in your aspirations for your life life. And don't just go with the flow because you're afraid of causing a conflict. So remember, not choosing is a choice and consequences and repercussions come from not choosing. So friends, until next time, embrace the choices that shape your story and that create your life. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe to A New Life podcast on Apple and Spotify for more thought provoking discussions on balancing life in your business mindset and everything in between. As always, I'm your host, Pamela Jean. Thank you for listening today and we will talk soon.

Thank you for joining us today on A New Life podcast. We will see you next time.