Overthinking Your Problems Can Lead To Anxiety

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I'm Pamela Jean, your host. Thank you so much for being with us today. Our sponsor today for this episode is the Women's Fellowship, an incredible, incredible networking opportunity. A group designed for women of all ages, intentional, with a purpose of inspiring your vision to cultivate influence in your marketplace. Watch for a chapter coming to your area soon. This group has started in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We meet every the second Wednesday of every month. It's a fantastic organization and they are expanding, which is so exciting. So watch for some new information coming on this group and look for a new chapter coming to your area very, very soon. Onto the show, friends. Have you ever been stuck talking or overthinking your problems? Have you ever done that? Is there something that's been bothering you? Maybe it's a relationship issue, a job issue, whatever it is. Have you ever gotten stuck into that cycle of talking and overthinking your problems? I know I have. I will raise my hand and be one of the first people to admit that. But did you know that thinking about your problems all the time or talking about them all the time makes the problem grow? I know you've heard that saying that whatever you focus on, whatever you give energy grows. Well, it's the same with your problems. If you are giving thought, process and energy to your problems, they are going to grow and grow and grow. It's a symptom which really can lead to depression, anxiety, and it's called rumination. It's a pathological obsession over your pain. Wow. Think about that. Have you ever been obsessed over something that's very painful to you? I think if we're honest, we all have experienced that at some point or another because we just can't seem to get past it. But sitting around and talking and thinking about your problem is really a bad habit that will never lead to anything good. So let's back up just a little bit and define rumination. Simply put, rumination is the process of continuously thinking about the same thought, often damaging or distressing ones things that have caused us pain. It can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. It's like being stuck in a mental loop replaying the same scenario over and over and over without trying to find a resolution or create solution. It's almost like hyper focusing on something. I think I've experienced that in my own life. And I've also experienced friendships like that, where you get together with a friend and it's someone that you love dearly, but every time you're with them, you hear the same story over and over and over from them, or you're sharing the same story. And sometimes that adage of misery loves company. We try to find people to put in our lives that allow us to stay stuck. As long as someone's going to listen to me complain about my problem and obsess about my problem, it's going to be a good relationship. But if that person were to say to me, look, I'm done. I don't want to listen to your problems anymore, I love you too much to allow you to stay stuck, that. That's hard. Those are hard conversations to have. But you know, misery loves company. And when you're in a place where you're stuck in your own pain, you're going to find other people that are stuck in their pain as well so you can manifest your pain together. Imagine if you had the opportunity to shut down that thinking and put all of that mental energy into something that's positive. Just think for a second how beautiful and amazing that can be. When we ruminate, we're essentially fixating on the problem instead of trying to figure out how to move forward.

Forward.

Why do we do this? Why do we ruminate? It often starts with good intentions. We might be trying to solve a problem or understand a situation better. However, when our thoughts become repetitive and unproductive, that's when it can create damage in our life. That's where depression creeps in and anxiety creeps in. There's a difference between constructive reflection and rumination. Reflection leads to insight and solutions, while rumination traps us in that negative spin cycle. So, so negative. Several factors can trigger rumination, including stress, perfectionism, and the tendency to be an over thinker. I know a lot of people that are overthinkers. Sometimes overthinking can be an absolute superpower. And sometimes it can be the thing that holds us back from living our very best lives. So how can you break the cycle of rumination? Or how can you help someone else change that in their lives? Break that cycle? So here's a few strategies that I wanted to share with you. I have like six or so. Yeah, six different points I want to share with you. Recognize when you're ruminating. The first step is awareness. You have to notice when your thoughts are stuck in a loop. Acknowledge when you're ruminating. And remind yourself that this is not productive. Align yourself with a friend and say, hey, look, if I bring up this topic again or this subject again, will you please stop me? Will you just say, hey, friend, I'm not going to allow you to go down that destructive path. Ask someone to lock arms with you and walk with you and help get through that process. Now, if you're trying to make someone in your life stop this, this dysfunctional cycle and they don't want to, you just as well give up trying. Because unless someone wants to stop this cycle, they're not going to receive your encouragement very well. Really make sure that someone is ready to hear this. Try to distract yourself. Engage in activities that can distract you from that repetitive thought. If you feel yourself getting stuck in that space spin cycle, you have to create a physical action plan. And what I mean by that is you can't just say, okay, stop thinking about it, think about something else. You have to shift and change yourself physically. You can't stay sedentary. Go outside, get some fresh air, go for a walk, take the dog out, throw the ball, get some fresh air, go run errands, go to the grocery store. You have to have a physical action plan created ready to act upon when you find yourself getting distracted or getting stuck into that cycle. So use a distraction plan, a physical action plan to get you out of that cycle. The next tip is to practice mindfulness. Mindful techniques such as meditation and deep breathing can be very, very helpful when you find yourself getting stuck in that spin cyc. Now, I will tell you, I have tried meditation. I am not a very good meditator. I probably need someone to give me some tips on meditation. Because when I try to meditate and get myself into that zone, I really struggle with thinking about my to do list or my grocery list. Or I completely start thinking about something that isn't relative at all. But if meditation works for you, my goodness, go for it. Maybe it's prayer, maybe it's, you know, something of playing really, really soft, soothing music. Perhaps that will work for you. But practice that peaceful mindset and challenge your thoughts. Challenge your thoughts. If, if you are obsessing over something in your life, challenge yourself to create the solution that you need to break that self cycle. If you're in a bad relationship, or if it's about a job that you don't love and you keep obsessing about it, ask yourself, what can I do to change my results? What can I do to get a better outcome or a different outcome or an outcome that will serve me well and serve my life well. Because ultimately staying in this cycle is only going to lead to anxiety and potentially depression. No one wants to be there. I don't know of anyone that says, yes, I want to live in anxiety anxiety today. Yes, I want to be depressed today. I don't know of anyone who asks for that, who consciously wants that. So challenge your thoughts. What can I do today to not think about or obsess about said problem or the issue Again? Create a sounding board of friends and accountability partner someone who will walk alongside of you and call you out when you start going down that destructive path. Set a time limit if you need to think about a problem, and sometimes we do because we can't ignore the problems. We can't pretend they're not there. If you need to think about the problem, set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes. Allow yourself the time to process for 10 to 15 minutes and then move on. But you have to move on to another activity once it's up. You just can't stay sitting still because you'll end up back to the whole rumination process. It's not going to go away. So give yourself a time limit. Okay, I'm going to think about this for 10 minutes, for 15 minutes and then I'm going to go. The next thing that you're going to do that day, you have to have that action plan set up and seek professional help. Friends, consider talking to a therapist. If this is truly something that is impacting your life and keeping you stuck. Therapy can be very, very helpful and very productive. Consider coaching. Coaching can help you in that area as well. The therapy approach and coaching approach are very different, but both of these approaches can be extremely helpful. If you're battling deep seated depression and anxiety over something, then perhaps therapy is the best route for you to go. But if you are more in the place of I have got to stop thinking about this, I have to move forward from this problem. I need a future goal plan created around this problem. Then consider coaching because coaching can be very effective as well. And it's up to you to assess what you think is going to work best for you. But it's essential, my friend, to be patient with yourself. Be Breaking the cycle of rumination takes time and practice. Be persistent with the right strategies. I gave you six strategies to try, you can reduce its grip and improve your mental well being and get out of anxiety and get out of depression. And I'm going to recap those just really quickly. The first one was to recognize when you're ruminating. That's step number one. Step two, distract yourself. Have that physical action plan in place. Number three, practice mindfulness. Mindfulness techniques, prayer, meditation, deep breathing. There's a lot of different options for mindfulness. Find something that works for you. Challenge your thoughts. Is number four. Challenge your thoughts. You are a smart person. I know you are. You're very intelligent. I know you can do this. Challenge your thoughts. To create those solutions. Set a time limit. Don't allow yourself to stay stuck. Don't think about your problem more than 10 minutes. And the last tip is, seek a professional. Whether it's therapy or coaching. Look for help, someone to lock arms with you. And also my friends. If you have someone in your life that is ruminating to you constantly or you are ruminating to them, which is talking constantly and thinking obsessively over your problems, talk to that person and just say, look, let's stop this cycle together. I'll stop and you stop. And we're going to create a different friendship. Because sometimes those friendships are built on keeping each other stuck. Birds of a feather flock together. Misery loves company. I think you know what I mean. You become like the people you spend the most time with. And if you're spending time with people that stay stuck in their own mess, that stays stuck in their problems, you will become one of those people, too. And I don't think you want that for yourself. And remember, it's a shared experience. And you're not alone in dealing with rumination. This happens to everyone. I've. I've been stuck in that before. And, you know, I was in my, my twenties and I had been going to counseling and therapy for a very long time, for multiple years. And I went to my therapist and I said, I'm sick of doing this. I'm sick of coming here. And she looked at me with a smile and she said, well, when are you going to do something about it? Oh, my gosh. It hit me like a ton of bricks. She was waiting for me to do something about it, to be ready to do something about it. It was such a transformation. It was incredible. But you're not alone. If you're stuck in this cycle, you are not alone. And take some proactive steps and you can regain control of your thoughts, ultimately gaining control of your life and living a peaceful, happy, joyful, productive life that I know you want to live. Nobody wants to stay stuck. Nobody wants to overthink your problems and make them bigger. No one wants to continue talking and obsessing about their problems, making them bigger. Larger than life because ultimately, friends, that is going to turn into stress, anxiety and depression and that can be avoided. But don't forget to seek help if you ever need some extra help with this. Thank you for joining me, my friends. Have an amazing day. Have a great weekend and I will see you on the next episode.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time. Sam.