INBOUND 2016: Linda Swindling - "Ask Outrageously! Mastering High-Stakes Negotiation"

We have just done a study that we will finish up the end of this weekend and it's on why people don't ask, why you should ask, and basically what people tell you no. So I'm gonna. You are actually the first audience that's gonna hear some of these statistics. Also, I know that I go fast and I know that I would like to spend four weeks with you because I probably have that much material. I've arranged to do bonus materials that you can text and get. There'll be a slide to do that in a minute. Now then, huge request, huge ask for you. I do TedX SMU on Saturday. I do my rehearsal tomorrow. If there is something that you go, oh wow, that resonated with me, can you all tweet and let me know? So that way I go, okay, I'm gonna do more of that and if I don't see it, I can still edit. I'm still editing the out the, the Ask I waitressly book will be out and it'll be out the. I have to send everything in by the end of this month. So if there's something that really hits, I only have like 12 minutes, 18 minutes, something like that. They're giving me a real short time. So election. How many of you for the last like six months, 12 months, maybe two years have been going, okay, now what? What now what now from these people, what else are we going to hear every day, right? My challenge to you is now that we have whatever election results that we do, what are you going to do about it? And I already know that you're high achievers, high performers, high potentials because you're not just sitting there drunk, worried or celebrating whichever way, right? Slightly hangover, but you got here. I'm going to tell you that for the next two months, you're not going to have a better opportunity to capitalize on markets that aren't being, that are right now have been so saturated because people are going, I just don't know. Yay. Whatever it is, people get lazy. My suggestion to you is what can we do today? And moving forward, what can you learn at this conference? What can you learn from other people around you that will allow you to capitalize on the results that happen? Meaning who can you call? Who do you need to reach out to? Who do you need to send that follow up email to? Who has been so slammed you haven't been able to get them because these two months are precious to you. This is when all the other people start taking their vacations and partying and doing whatever. This is your opportunity to really go. And you, my friend, are going to get green light on you. Look at you. What's your. Right here? Yes. You're good with that? Okay, good. All right. So what can you do now? And what I want you to really be thinking about during this whole conference is what's my biggest couple of things I need to get out of this? Who can I ask around? Me? And who do they know? I'm shocked at how networked all of you are. Oh, yeah? Well, from Colorado or whatever it is. She's from Colorado. I met more people from Colorado on the bus and everything else. They're all from Colorado. So network with these folks. See what you do. Control. Find a partner. A partner is someone else. One other person a partner. Find someone, look at them and say, will you be my partner? Quickly. If you do not have a partner, you can raise your hand and look around and assign yourself a partner. Okay. Find a partner. Now then, our first outrageous request. Figure out who's going to go first. Figure out quietly who's going to go first. And raise your hand. Raise your hand if you're going to go first. Wait. Raise your hand. Great. You are the A's. You're the A's. Bring your hands down. Second group, raise your hand. You are the. I was going to say A. Yeah, right. Okay. That's okay. All right. Ones B. Okay, you're the B's. All right, so B's. Hands up. Make a fist. Bring it down. A's, back at me. Wave at me. A's. The object of this activity. The object of this activity is in the next 30 seconds to get your partner's fist open. To get your partner's fist open. Bees, where are you? Rock on. Here we go. Journey on. There you are. Okay, B's, Say this word with me now. Stop. One, two, three, stop. Okay, bees, bring down your fist. And it's not to sock the A's. It's not because they thought of as first. That does not count. Okay? So B's. If at any time you feel pain, at any time you feel pain or you want the A's to stop whatever it is they're doing, I want you to say the word stop with me. Okay, A's. One more time, wave at me if you hear the word stop. Stop doing it, whatever it is. Okay? You have 30 seconds. A's to get the B's. Your partner's fist open. On your mark. It's set. Go it. And stop. And stop. And stop. And stop. If you are an A. If you are an A and you are able to get the B's fist open, your partner's fist open. Please, quietly say nothing. Quietly rise. Terrific. Okay, now then. Now then, if you are standing and at any time you used any form of trickery, any move over here, any form of bribery, any form of something that was prying someone's little. Did you do that? Please sit. Okay, now then, if at any time you use some sort of form of bribery, such as I have a pen from one of these trade shows. I've got the little mints, I've got the something. Here's a dollar. Here's my credit card. Please sit. All right. What, pray tell, what, pray tell, did you do to get your partner's fist open? I suggested that the team work. You suggested that the team would work better. So you gave her a little idea. Okay, did anybody else have something? What about this nice, beautiful woman back here? What. What was your. What did you do? I accepted that her fist was closed. It was an indicator that she was super excited about the state of the presidential election. Okay. Ok, So I know we have people in the other room. And so what the offer was was if you are. If your fist is closed, then you are super excited about the state of the presidential election. So the woman felt compelled, forced to open your hand. Very nice. It's creative. All right, what about you in the green who kind of matches my book cover? What'd you do? Oh, my. Wait just a second. You just asked him, your bee partner, to open his hand. Is that correct? Yeah. How many of you just ask? All right, round of applause for those people. Down you go. Now then, some of you were asked very politely, very politely, and you did not open your hand. Where are you? Just wave at me low. You don't need to stand up. We're not impressed by that. No. Why was it. Why did you open your hand? Well, I knew it was going to be a competition. I wanted to win. I wanted more. Right. Some of you did not even think about asking, where are you? Just kind of wave at me. I didn't even think about it. I went to praying. I saw you prying you pride. Right? And this is where. This is where I get caught. A lot. People say, well, your instructions, they were misleading. Okay, so let's review. Find a partner. Not an opponent, not someone to beat up and take down. I even told you not to sock them. Right. Okay, number two, I said, choose who's going to go first. The object of this activity, not contest, not draw. Down fight is to get your partner's hand open. Now, that's usually what I said. Did I say that this time? Usually I don't have the words ask up on the board, right up on the screen. Isn't that crazy? But that's what we do. We immediately go to what's in it for me, I want to be competitive. What's so interesting is so many people will open up, will give you all the information you need to succeed just by asking. And the thing is, so you've got to ask first. You can't ask on top of all the other stuff because they don't respect it later. And if you're going to play at the high stakes level, the outrageous level, start with the questions. Because the high stakes decision makers are used to people coming in and asking for things from them. If you start with the question, they're going to be sitting there going, when's the question? When's the question? What do they want me to do? And you waste a lot of time. Be the first to ask. I was at. Have any of you ever been in like a studio audience, like of a TV show or maybe a comedy club where they come out and they warm people up? So I was at Tonight show with Jay Leno and a bunch of friends. And I went, and he comes out and he asks questions right before you go. And so I raised my hand and I was the first one they called on. So cool, right? And so my thinking was, if he calls, what I'm going to do first is I'm going to ask him something that makes me sound smart that he would want to answer. And then the second thing I'm going to do is I'm going to ask him for a picture because I knew that sometimes I'll let you take pictures with them, run down the stage. So he goes, yes, you, ma'. Am. And I said, and it was about. About this size, I mean, about this kind of size of an audience. And so, you know, and I said, and I'm way back in the back. And I go, he goes, y. And I went, what is the hardest part of your job? Because doesn't that sound important? What is the hardest part? He said, pronouncing the names. I have trouble pronouncing the names. And he went over here and he said, and you, ma', am, can I have a picture? Yes. And as she's coming down from way up top, he turns over at me and smiles. And he said, that's what you really wanted, wasn't it? And I'M like, yeah, maybe he'll let me do it. Yeah. I'm so embarrassed. Yes, of course. And he said, well, she asked. Big lesson. If you don't ask, you're going to be shocked. I mean, I know, I know statistically, but let's just see. Hands up. How many of you have not asked for something you really, really wanted later? Someone asked and they got it. Yeah. 66% of people have said there was something big I wanted. I didn't ask. For whatever reason it was, I didn't ask, I didn't get it. And that person got it. And there's only one promotion to the job. There's only one. I get to go overseas. There's only one. Whatever it is. And they got it because they just flat out ask. And what's really hard is when they're not as good as you are, they don't offer the services you do. They don't provide the stuff that that client needs, whatever that ask is. But they've already signed up with someone else who's inferior because you didn't ask them. So there we are. We did have a group photo. There I am. I'm above them. One of my friends actually snuck her book in there. See that? Tung Fu. These are my friends. We all kind of crowded in. And then up there in the top, that's actually my husband standing next to someone he doesn't know. I was going to get as close to Jay as I could. Right. I'm going to get right next to Jay. But I couldn't quite get to the side because I had my other friends that snuck in there better. So I'm one of many then and not one of one, which is what I really wanted. I am a recovering attorney, which is like a 13 and a half step program. Anybody an attorney in the room? No. Okay. Yeah. You're smart. Yes. Did I have one recovering as well? So you know as well as I do, it's like a 13 and a half step program. Last step and a half is stop arguing. We won't. We're always going to be in recovery. All right, so. And this proves that I do know what I'm talking about. About asking outrageously. Do you see this last name that was on the law firm door swindling? Right. Married to a financial planner. It's. It's. Yes. Their stories galore. So. So I was called by my assistant. She said, hey, I booked an appointment for you. I hope that's okay. Business owner needs an employment attorney, which is what I did. Asked for Someone who had a lot of experience. So I went ahead and booked him for two. Are you good with that? And I said, Great. At 2, we'll call him Joe Smith. Anybody named Joe Smith? Okay, great. We'll call him Joe Smith. Joe Smith, CEO, walks into my office. Donna, legal assistant, calls me, said, hey, clients here. I go up to the front room and I said, hi, Mr. Smith, I'm Linda. Stuck out my hand. And he said, are you going to take me to see the attorney? I was young. I was young. I was a young partner. I was young, 30 years old probably. And I was in Texas, in a. A town that was more. Not women who were married with kids, who were attorneys. Right. So we'll give them that. So I did something that I would have done when I was in sales for the hotel or when I was in broadcast journalism. Something that's kind of a smart alecky kind of thing. Do any of you have that trait? Yeah, you wouldn't be in this business. So when he said, are you going to take me to see the attorney? I did one of these. I said, well, here I am. And he wasn't laughing. He did one of these, said, young lady, you know what? I've got a serious issue, and I need to see someone who's got a lot of experience and who's mature. And right then I had to make a decision. I mean, I could have walked him down to one of my partners. They didn't have the experience that I did. I could have apologized, but that really wouldn't overcome it. Right. So what I had to do was, I had to say, this is a CEO, this is a chief decision maker. I need to kind of up my game. My response is different. And I said, joe, I have the most years here in employment law. I've been practicing six years. I have the time and I have the expertise to meet with you right now. If you want someone who's more mature. We do have. And I named off the attorney. He's got me by about 20 years. And good news for you, he just passed the bar. Which would you prefer? I was not snotty, but I want you to see this demeanor. It was just, here's your decision. Make it right. And he said, I think I'll go with you. I said, that's a good idea. And off we went. Side note, born in Texas or born in St. Louis, actually. Ferguson. Everybody knows where Ferguson is right now, but grew up in Texas, where manners are extremely important. Sirs. Mr. Mrs. Extremely important. Some of the countries, some of the Cultures, some of the states, addressing someone without, you know, just their first name, just calling him Joe to begin with would not have been appropriate. So if that is you, or if you have people reporting to you that feel that way, let me give you a trick. Would that be good? A hack. Hack around this. So when I was young, what someone said is, because you're, you know, you feel this way, say Joe Smith, I'm Linda Swindling. So just use both of their names. So when I would get on the phone and I would try to get past the gatekeeper, I'd say, yeah, would you tell Joseph, Would you tell Joe, or would you tell Joe Smith, It's Linda Swindling. So you can use both of their names instead of the Mr. And, or the Ms. Or whatever. That's. That is a trick that helps you show up powerfully. It shows you where eyeball to eyeball, but you're also giving your full name, so it makes sense. I introduced people that way. Joe Smith, this is Fred Rodriguez. When to meet you. Let you two meet. Powerful first impression. Who here is here for the first time, this is extremely important for you, is to learn how to stand up powerfully, show it powerfully and negotiate. Who here? This is your first time. You. Would you come up for just a second? Yeah, come on up. Round of applause. Just hold on to this thing. I can't come down to you. It beeps. Okay. All right. So this is. Are you Mary? Yes. Mary, I'm Linda Swanley. Nice to meet you. Okay, so this is Mary. So, Mary, as far as showing up powerfully, the one thing I think you do real well is you make great eye contact. You are willing to raise your hand and when you came up, even though you kind of. You're kind of like. I don't know if you look like you could take it on. If you had to take someone on, you could. Okay. One thing I see is you're standing like this. Yeah. Because standing like this is like you're at ease in a military and it's a defenseless move. Right. And so, yeah, just here is perfect. One other trick I'm going to give you is I want you. Can you hold this for just a sec? I want you to tie your badge and people in the other room do this for each other. I want all of you to do this. Okay. Now then, Mary, now we can see it. So when. When you're sitting at a table, we can see your name. It's not buried underneath there. We're not like hunting for it. So My strong suggestion to you is to tie your badge just a little knot like Mary just did. Also. Great. When you go to wash your hands. Yeah, right, Right. Thank you. And then if you feel like you want to get it off and not take it over your head, you can always undo it. All right, so, Mary, just because you were brave enough to do this. And I would wear lipstick. Yeah. I would wear bright lipstick. You've got really strong features. I would do that. That's the Clinique makeup thing. Okay, so, Mary, I have two books that you could have from me. Would you prefer the Stop Complainers and Energy Drainers, or would you prefer the High Performance Handbook, Stop Complainers. Is that what she should ask for? Both. Ask outrageously. Mary, round of applause. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks. Great job. So our secret code. I know a lot of you talk about coding. This is a different code. Our secret code is if you do just what Mary did and tie your badge up, they'll know that you've been in this session and you can sit by them. Because how many of you are sitting next to someone that you either drove over with, you flew over with, you work with. They're in the cubby next to you. Whatever. Anybody sitting next to someone that you work with. That's crazy, though. You are here to me. No, not you. Well, nobody would sit next to you. I know. I mean, right? And you keep putting your head in the projector. Or somebody does. I don't know who it is. I don't know. Right. Nobody will do it. That's right. Go look for people with their badges up and ask them, say what? What are you here at the conference to do? How can I help you? You know, if you could do anything, what would it be? Ask them outrageously. What would you do? And tell them what you're working on, too. So everyone I've talked to at the conference, either in this room or as I've gone around, has tied their badges up. So they're all people that you can use the same language with. They're not going to think you crazy. You're crazy. What are you talking about? If you do it. All right. The reason why we did. The first impression is I worked with CEOs for five years and I had to sell to the C suite. I went from law because I can't hold a job, apparently. I went from law to speaking and writing books. And then I had a family need where I needed to stay at home for five years. I thought I was good at negotiation. I settled Most of the cases didn't have to go to trial very often. I'd been through mediation school and been through the program at Harvard, that one that teaching corporations, you know, So I got it until I worked with CEOs and I really watched them. And those CEOs they're evergreen learners are always looking for the next kind of like us, you know, always looking for the next thing. They did some things that were different and one of them was they ask all the time. They asked, understand. It's because if you think about it, these high level execs, whether you're in a big company or a department head, can be like a CEO personality style, right? They have all these people coming at them and the way they get their information through their funnel is they ask questions and once the questions are answered fully, that's how they time things and that's how they drop and they put their attention on it. And what I started seeing was CEOs didn't apologize for who they were. They knew exactly who they were when they showed up. So when they walked into the room, the guy that looked like a rock star, that was in my group, that had long hair and tats, he'd pull his hair back, he'd put on a button down jacket until they got to know him and then they knew him. And he played in the rock band, right? So it made sense that in addition to his engineering background, he had that the one that could be kind of stiff. He would often bring someone who would soften him. Bring a woman I know one that would bring someone that looked more professional, more like an accountant type person, because he didn't. And when you see people in person, that's who they're seeing. They're not seeing the guy that they're going to get to know or the gal they're going to get to know six months from now they're seeing that person, right? Then that first impression is so important. Meaning when I would do one on one consultations with clients, I would say, if it's okay with you, I'm going to interrupt you. And why I'm going to interrupt you is once you get to something I know I'm going to start asking you questions now, then do I have permission to interrupt them? If they say yes, do it. When I showed up, I knew that people thought I was confident. I was not confident. My feedback sheet's very confident young woman. And I'm like, no, I have no confidence whatsoever at the time. But was it important as an attorney and later as a Speaker to be confident. Thanks. Straight. Right. Just like in your job. Right. So I had to be a potted plant. What do potted plants do? Hopefully absorb and grow. You know, at my time, they were. They were dying in my house. Before I had kids, that was my biggest fear, was, I can't keep a potted plant alive. But. But, no, they grow. So watch. People who have what you want. How are they really? How are they showing up? Sometimes they're little kids. Little kids ask for everything. They don't have any hesitation. They're not like, well, does my hair look good? Right? Am I. Do I have my right shoes on today? I mean, they just go and ask, don't they? And they don't put a whole bunch of flowery language in an email before they ask you something. They don't start off with. Well, you know, 15 of our clients have had this kind of growth by using our service. No, they just talk to people to see if there's. They're gonna get it. Start watching people. What's really scary is how many of you are like, master negotiators. So good. So good. Great. How many of you just kind of nod at me? Aren't. Usually if you're not, your best friend is, or you're like, your romantic interest is. Darn it. Right? So what you do is you watch. What did they do? What did they do now? Then sometimes you're gonna get stuff that you don't want to hear. So mine was often. I'm sweet. Sweet. You're so sweet. How can you be an attorney? So I had to kind of upgrade. I had to adapt that one. So I adopted the confidence. But I had to adapt because Suite was not going to give me what I needed. I'm kind. I'm approachable. Absolutely. Give me that, because that'll give me more business. I know why I was hired by the big firm. I know why I went on was because I was a rainmaker. I could bring in clients. People trusted me. Suite was not going to do it. So if there is something that you've gotten feedback on, see, okay, I own it. I have it. What can I do to make it stronger? What can I do to tweak it, upgrade it, and do something with it? Sweet became, no. I'm approachable. I know how to read people. And mainly the people I had to convince were the people in my office, the guys in my office, and I'm old. I'm older than you all. When I got out of school, a lot of women maybe weren't Doing what I was doing in that part of the country. And so they thought she should make the coffee. Isn't that crazy? Now we have, you know, all those curd things and all that. Yeah. So I had one partner who would let the coffee get down to here, which is a fire hazard, and then want me to make the coffee or one of the other women in the office. So one day I decided that was on me. I was being too sweet. So I said, charles, come here. Okay, so see this? This is a fire hazard. And you're in real estate law. Let's not do that. Let me show you. I. I guess because you haven't been making coffee, you don't know how to do it. So let me show you. So I rinsed out the coffee pot, filled it up to 12. I said, see how we filling it up to 12? Got 12. Report in. Bam, bam. Take this little thing, looks like a tea bag. Throw it away. Take a clean one. Open it. Bam, bam. Turn it on. You got it, man. Because I don't drink coffee, Right? Yeah. So many times the opinion that they're having of us is the one we're giving them. I have been talking to so many of you, and you're like, oh, well, you know, I don't do that very well. Oh, no, you don't, because you keep telling people that, say, oh, no, I own this Charleston. Like that. I wore pants. Pantsuits. I'm on stage a lot. I don't want people looking at me. So I had pantsuits on, right? And so I would say, well, Charles, all the powerful female attorneys are wearing pants. Now. He would go. And he'd go, I saw one today, Linda. I was at the courthouse. I saw someone in pants. They will believe you. I told the guys, my job is to re. Yes, you all are very technical, very proficient in that. My job is because I was in hospitality and all this. I know how to read people. So I will be in charge of. And I told them, taking care of clients, going out and giving our presentations, whatever it was, tell people what you're good at and own it. They already assume things about you. Either adopt it or adapt it. And, oh, this is so basic. You know, why we can do the complicated things. All of you in this room are so bright. It's the simple adjustments and adaptations that you've got to do. You got to adapt yourself to act like a CEO. Another thing, we talked about badges. How many of you wear a badge at work? No. Anybody. And it flaps like a little flag, doesn't it on your little. I have a rainbow colored one they gave me. Beautiful. That's not what your CEO's wearing. That's not what your director of sales is wearing. It's not what your marketing guy is wearing. Get your little badge holder, put it on your look and see what they're doing. Whatever they do, do it and then ask them. Hey, I noticed you mentioned the fish when we walked in the office. When you sent that email you started with one thing. What's that about? Listen and see what they say because it might be. Yeah, I didn't see anything in the office. I didn't fish. So I figured we had to say something or it might be. Yeah, every email I write to a decision maker has no more than three bullet points and I start with the bullet points and I give them the explanation afterwards. You never know. And you say, well why? Because decision makers don't have time to look at more than one, two or maybe three things that you want them to do. If we can get it down to one, we do that, we give them the information. We do the white paper. We always put an executive summary on every proposal. Executive summary is half page to one page. After that they can have all the details because their detail people are going to want that. But you got to give them what they need. Ask outrageously in the language they need. Right. And the decision makers need you to keep it short, sweet, to the point. Manners. Manners matter. Over a thousand people surveyed, about a third of them said, you know what I'm going to tell you no, I'm going to turn you down if you are inconsiderate or you have bad manners. Who would have thought that wouldn't you do it? I hate people that are just rude to me, don't you? And yet there's some that walk in. I am the God. I'm the social media God. Show me to your website. Don't talk to me. Right? Send it to me. I will not talk to you in person. So that kind of goes to some of the blocks. So some of the blocks are what we've got going on. Would you like to see what people report their blocks are to asking outrageously, Truly doing high stakes top four. And by the way, I will send all this to you but you can take a picture of this if you want. The top four were before I ask the thing that I'm most concerned about, I might not use the right words. I might show up and not use the right words or I might overwhelm or bug the person you Know what else? I may look stupid. I may look stupid. I may embarrass myself. And then the big one that we always think is actually the fourth, I might hear the word. What? No. Yeah. No, usually is the one that people shout out to me. I might hear no. Give me a break. Okay, so would you all like to get over the hearing? No. Objection. Would that be helpful? Yeah. Okay, so I'd like you to close your eyes. I know this is very dangerous after lunch and late nights, but go ahead, close your eyes. Once you listen to my voice. No, you can't have it. No, that is a stupid ask. No, we are not going to spin that. No. Get out of my office. No, no, no. Don't send me an email again. Okay. Open your eyes. Gently touch the shoulder of the person beside you. Just gently touch them. Touch her, too. Make sure she gets right here. Yes. Did they survive? You will, too. Right? And in fact, if you're not hearing no, you're not asking outrageously enough. If you're not hearing the word no, keep on going. Ask outrageously. When you start hearing no, it doesn't mean no. It might mean not yet. It might mean explain more. So when you hear no, you immediately go to another question. I heard you say no. Reflective listening, Right? That somebody's taught you that. Reflective listening. I heard you say no. Walk me through that. Tell me about that. Tell me about this. No, they will. It's crazy. It's crazy. Well, not. Not today, right? Tell me more. Well, maybe I could do it today. I'm not sure. Have you ever had somebody tell you no, and then they buy from you like five minutes later? It happens all the time. No. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. So people, we ask them, so why are they saying no to you? You're so worried about them saying no. This is your top four. It's what people yell out all the time. No, they're all real close. What are you worried about? You know what? Why do they say no to you? Well, why do you think people say no? This is what they said. Well, they lack all the information they needed. They needed more information from me. I needed to educate them more. I needed to give them more stuff so that they would understand my position before I ask properly. Second biggest. The timing's wrong. Timing was wrong. Wrong. It's not time to do that. And the third, they don't want to spend the money, Linda. They just don't want to spend the money. And what's so interesting is, do you see that about 75% of us feel A lot more confident when we know all the details and we have done all the research. So what do we do? We're going to research that thing to death. And what's so interesting is. Yeah, none of those were the answer. When two questions later we said, so why do you say no? Why do you say no? Same people. Same. Almost 1200 people. No, that's not what they said. They said two top reasons. You ready? Top reasons that people say no. One, they are asking for something inappropriate. And two, it's someone I don't like or respect. One, they are asking for something inappropriate. I offered them a very beautiful shining apple that they could eat. They wanted to buy ball bearings. I want to get my day in court. Four years, I'm going to go and sue this person and spend a lot of money so they will apologize to me and listen to me, and I'm going to have that day. Have you ever been through a court trial? Have you ever gotten. Most of them don't get tried, Right. So you spend all this money and you never get an apology. You never get. It's one of the top things we won't ask for. It's an apology. We want it the most when we get into conflict, but we won't even say, hey, you know, let me see if I tracked this. Did you really say this? No, I didn't say that. I said this. Oh. It was a compliment. Not an, you know, we have conversation like that, but just by happenstance. Now then, the secret says only 1 in 20 people know this. Only about 4 or 5% of people picked those two answers. Out of 12 answers. You know where they put these two answers? Dead last. Asking for something inappropriate. Last. It didn't even hit a hundred people second to last. They had two choices. They had two shots to get this right. This one didn't hit either. They don't like or trust me. No. No. Because I'm going to be really Busy doing my 75% of getting them all ready. Nothing about building the relationship, nothing about trust, nothing about making sure it's a fit before I start giving it to them. Spending my valuable time and resources. No, they're asking for something that I don't need. I can't grant them. I don't want. I don't even like them. I don't respect them. And you don't have to like them. Do you have friends? I have friends that I don't really. I mean, I don't know. They're friends. They're frenemies. No, but they're people I respect. Do you have people like that? I just want them to tell me the truth. Tell me the truth now. Likability helps if I like them. And I know that they have my best interest at heart. Man. I'm all aboard. Is it appropriate for me, yeah, Linda, I saw this for you. It's so appropriate. I've only given. They've only given me good information in the past. I want that person. So ask often. What does that mean? Live in the question. When you get to an objection, don't start selling. Start asking. When you come in and they're real high or real low, and you're like, what is going on here? Say, would you mind walking me through this? Can you talk me through that? How many of you are dealing with. You can just nod at me. You're dealing with high level decision makers. One of the most helpful things in dealing with them is come in with questions that they have to think about. You want me to show you the best buying signal? I will go in. And I would say, okay, so why am I here? What are the good reasons I'm here? And they would say, well, I thought you saw I don't know what you do. And you'd say, well, what's your problem? What do you need? I just flat out ask them, what do you need? Why am I here? Because I don't want to waste your time. They'll call me and they'll say, how much do you charge for a speaking engagement? What would you charge us to do? And I, I'm like, it depends. I give them a range or whatever. And I said, but I don't even know if I'm a fit. What are you looking for? What do you need? What do you need? Other questions. So some people you can do this with, some people you can't. Two versions of this question. Wave a magic wand. If everything went perfectly, what would that look like? How would you know? What would that look like? What do you mean? That's your evidence. What would it look like? What would you hear? How would it feel? All those feel like sound questions. Then how would you know? How are you going to hit it? Because here's the thing, if they say, well, people are going to be smiling more. Okay, how does that drive revenue? How does that help your business? People will be able to find us. How would you know that they found you? Oh, they buy this particular product. Very interesting. That's something different, isn't it? And then you can really, you can put them on the spot as you get going with Them you can say, you know so well, and I always love this. So what do you suggest they give you like one little one liner of what the issue is and then how much is it going to cost me? When can you do it? Why should I hire you? And you. I don't know that you should. I don't know that you should hire me. I may not be the best fit. I'm. And then I don't say, can I ask you some questions? I just start asking until they tell me to shut up, basically. So I say, what, you know, what segment of your business is this really fitting or hitting or, you know, what's important to you here? And then I'll do something along the lines of tying it to money. Because if you're hitting with a decision maker, they want a money goal. They do. They want to be more competitive. They want to open up a market spot. They have a percentage. They may not know how to get it, but if you can get a number on them, any kind of a percentage, it will help. So. Well, people will be smiling. I mean, it's a weird one, right? But I've heard it. How many people would be smiling? What do you mean? The whole office? Like all 100% of the office? No, 95. Right. How would you know that they were smiling? I mean, they can give you these really vague, can't they? Really vague answers. Then this is one that's magic. How do you see this happening? What did you think about and. Oh, I don't know. You're the expert. Don't you hate that question? I don't know. You're the expert. Absolutely, I'm the expert and I've seen a lot. What were you thinking of? How did you see this being displayed? This, you know, how did you see this going into effect? What kind of things did you think you would be doing? Ask them that because they always, decision makers always have an answer. And that's how you know you got to the gatekeeper is when they go, oh no, I should toss you up to my boss. I should toss you up to the vp. They're the ones that would know how this is going to drive revenue and affect our next three years of strategic planning or whatever. Right? So you ask them those thoughtful questions, the buying signals, when they go, huh, I hadn't really thought of that. Nobody's really asked me that. That's a buying signal. Doesn't look like it, does it? But you see their wheels turning. That's when you've got them. One last magic question is this really a problem? I mean like what's it costing you? That's what I want to know. If they do nothing, if they do nothing, what's it costing? Well, I've lost two people. Well yeah, I know that five of our clients are going over here because we didn't have a this and you'll just hear them, they'll sigh, they'll say, you know, probably $100,000 a year, probably a million, I don't even know how much. That's the first thing we need to know is how many we're losing. Whatever it is, get them to really address that. If they have a million dollar problem, you come in with a hundred thousand dollar solution. That's a no brainer, isn't it? And one technique on implementing my magic, magic technique, the secret sauce. How about we just pilot it? Just give me one department, just give me one product, just give me one service, just give me one line of social media. Let's see if we move the needle at all. I always charge for it. Why? Because I want them to have buy in and in my contract I always ask them that I have the, their obligation to me is that they have the right people to respond to me. I will usually even write out an email for these high level, high stakes things. I will have the email written to the decision maker for them to send out. That introduces me knowing that I'm going to be contacting them. High stakes, what are high stakes? What do you think? Money usually. How many of you would say my raise, me getting a raise. Now if you're the CEO now you're starting to look around at like oh no, yeah, we get to this ledge in a lot of our questions. How do you get to where you know that they would give you a raise? How do you know? Well, in order to get a raise or promotion. And I've done an article on this, I've done a TV spot on that and I can send that all to you. It's all on my website or to get to the money you have to show them what you're going to do in the future. So what you say is, and these people, I've been here five years and I haven't, I've been out and I got my degree. Okay, that's great. We paid you for that. What are you going to do in the future for us? Well just like I did these five things last year, the three things I got from inbound that I really think we can drive revenue, I really think we can reach an audience. I really think we can do this are these three things and I know exactly how to implement it. One more thing, start going to departments. Start talking to your clients. Talk to different levels in the organization at your clients, anyone you can to get their buy in, which is how could we make this best serve you? We are so lazy. We get the deal and we go on. Because I tell you what, if they're listening to you, you're offering them something. So I promised you a bonus. Oh, one more thing. You see somebody with the badge up, you can just bump them, blow it up. It's outrageous. It's cool. Okay, take a snapshot of that. What you're going to do is you're going to text in 42828. Then you can write the word ask in the message thing. It'll email you back. If you don't have that, you're going to give me your card because I know some people don't have texting. That's fine. That's cool for the state. And that's going to be the bonus. That's going to be the downloadable, the negotiate like a CEO. And that'll connect you to some assessments like the stop complainers and stuff. So last know your next best step. I want you to be thinking about what could I do, what could I ask? And what I'll do is I'm going to go do an interview. I'll be around out here, you can walk and talk with me or whatever you want to do. I'm easily accessible. I know you guys are overloaded, overloaded right now. As long as you want, you can get a monthly reminder on negotiation and leadership. You can also unsubscribe as soon as you get the bonuses. You all ask first, ask often, ask outrageously. Thank you so much.