INBOUND Bold Talks: Natalie S. Burke "Moving 'The Table' Requires You to Get Out of Your Chair"

Good afternoon. Thank you. When I found out that I was speaking at Inbound, the word that came to mind for me was quadastic. Now, don't bother to look it up. It's a Burke family word. My father and my uncle have a gift for this. There are other words. There's a word called quilpipic. We'll talk about that at another time. So think of qualdastic as something astounding that requires you to develop a new operating premise set to a soundtrack of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and leaving you with a healthy dose of afterglow. That's how I think of inbound. After being here for a couple of days, it's quadastic. And hopefully, by the time I'm done talking, you'll be ready to do something queldastic. Today, you and I will take responsibility for your perspective transformation. Yes, you're about to have one of those. Perspective transformation is this idea that if you think, know, and believe something different, you will decide, act, and do differently. But perspective transformation requires you to change your mind and change your heart. And as a result of that, you'll never see the world the same way again. Today, that change is going to focus on the table and a fundamental question. Do you want to exist, follow, or lead your way through your life or your career? So regardless of what you do, what you hope to change, or who you hope to be, I hope that you will never see the table in the same way again. Now, you may be wondering, of all the things in the world that I could have talked to you about, why would I pick a table? Well, some of the best and the worst decisions that you'll ever make in your life will happen at a table. And believe it or not, while we're sitting in this room, there are people sitting at tables making decisions about you and about me, and we're not even there. There's power at the table. My focus is on public health. Changing sectors, systems, and institutions that limit people's opportunities to achieve their best possible health. To do that, I cultivate tables that are dynamic, equitable, and powerful. Hence why I'm here today. So let me start off telling you about the first table in my life. I grew up in Queens, New York, in a multi generational household of Jamaican immigrants who thought that this table was pretty damn important. I don't know if they realized it, but every single day there was a conversation about the table. What was on the table that shouldn't be on the table, who was supposed to set the table, and who needed to clear the Table and the childhood favorite. No, no, no, no, don't do that at the table. You see, at my house, we didn't have a kids table. Instead, we sat with adults, listened to their conversations. And I actually believe that's the reason that I am the Chatty Cathy that you see in front of you today. Well, it wasn't until I was about 6 or 7 and I visited other people's homes that I started to realize this whole thing around the kids table. When I would go to other people's homes and I would have to sit at the kids table, I felt relegated to some form of second class citizenship. I had to resort to ear hustling to hear what the adults were talking about. So. Well, wait a minute. Wasn't there a hashtag about kids table that was related to the first Republican debate? I think that was something they talked about. So whether it's 1975 or 2015, I don't think anybody wants to be relegated to the kids table. This was the table that helped to define my childhood. It's where I celebrated my birthdays, heard stories about my family, and where we shared our ideas and views of the world. I can remember thinking about the relevance of the seats at the table because there was power in your position. The closer you were to the kitchen was, the faster you got to eat, you got the better pick of food, and you probably got to get a little bit more food on your plate. Older folks got first dibs on their seats. And although seats weren't assigned, let's just say that if my grandfather had decided to sit in a different chair, that would have been something like a whole new world order, because his seat was assigned for life. And in some ways, that reminds me of some companies. As a CEO, I sit in countless meetings discussing who's not at the table, who to invite to the table, who should be at the table. The table anchors our discussions and our decisions. And make no mistake, there's power at the table. And it's rare for that power to be shared equitably. Think about the people and the populations that are never at the table. It renders them powerless. Haven't we all sat at tables looking at data points, strategizing, making plans and decisions for people that we don't know, we don't really talk to, and we make very little effort to engage. Our society understands that there's power at the table so well, in fact, that we have all of these sayings in there. It's even in song lyrics. We put issues on the table for Discussion, or we table things for later. When it's time to get something done, we gather people around the table, even if that's on a conference call and there's really no table involved. When people get out of line, we may decide to turn the tables. And even the great Bob Marley, in his song Is this Love, said, I am willing and able. So I throw my cards on your table. You didn't think I was going to sing that or anything, did you? I mean, Brenny Brown might have gotten to me with the whole vulnerability thing, but I have a ways to go and I'm not quite to the singing at the microphone part yet. So the table provides a place for us to be in relationship, solve problems, and get different perspectives at the same time. It can and is often an exclusionary force that keeps people from being in relationship with each other and keeps them from being in relationship with you. Up until now, I've talked about the table as an inanimate object, a piece of furniture. But here's the truth. The table is not a thing. Instead, it represents your opportunities and capacity to connect. It determines access to all kinds of things that you have, that you give or even that you might withhold from others. It's where you demonstrate your value, but more importantly, it's where you demonstrate how much you value other people. So where is your table? Think about it a moment, because we're about to share something. The table, it's not where you are. As a matter of fact, the table is not about you at all. The table is where they are. The table is everywhere you aren't. Earlier I said that you can decide to exist, follow or lead. Now I can't tell you what to do if you want to exist or follow, because honestly, that's not in my DNA. But I can tell you a little bit about leaders and tables. So first, leaders recognized that firsthand knowledge is a law of attraction for everyone that you expect to reach. You have to be in relationship and that means that you have to put in human to human time. More than a decade ago, I served as a supervising producer on a documentary called the Edge of Struggling for Health and Justice. And in it, we highlighted the health challenges of three rural communities. While filming, we met a young mother who had a three day old baby, a gallon of water and a plan to walk in 110 degree heat across the desert from Mexico. I can remember standing there looking into her eyes, even as her words were told to me through a translator. To respect her story and her life, I had to establish A relationship. And I did that by being there, by being willing to listen. She couldn't have emailed her truth even if she had access to the technology. Her story would never have affected me the same way if I wasn't there with her. I had to get out of my chair, get away from my table, look her in the eye, and receive the gift of her truth. The same thing applies to people with whom you work every day. Don't expect them to come to your office or come to your desk. Sometimes I literally get up and walk around the office just to hear firsthand what's happening in the lives of people within my organization, whether it's physically or virtually. If you want to be in relationship, if you want people to be attracted to you, you have to leave your chair, the physical and intellectual comfort zones, because being where they are at their table is the most important seat that you can have. So as much as we like to think attraction is the first step in relationship, remember that being in relationship precedes lasting attraction, not the other way around. People have to know you to truly want you. Relationships are primary. All else is derivative. Leaders have a vision. To be the change you want to see, you have to see the change that needs to happen. I've worked in over 100 communities around the country and for companies with 2 to 62,000 employees. Usually I'm brought in to map, manage, measure, and master change. To do that, I have to go where opportunities and problems exist. To be a leader, you have to have clear sight lines to inform your vision. And trust me, those sight lines are away from your table and they are definitely outside of your comfort zone. Another thing about leaders, leaders spot problems with power, even if it's them, and they find opportunities to manage power with equity. Equity is about asking who experiences the benefit and who experiences the burden of the changes that you create. Social science tells us that countries and societies that have greater rates of inequity have more violence, have worst health, have longer work hours, and have more people in prison. Companies with cultures of inequity have higher turnover, lower productivity, and slow growth. The equitable use of power at any table has the potential to make us bigger, faster, stronger, smarter, and better at what we do, so that we'll have more success and we'll bring greater quality to our products, our services, and even to the quality of life of. Of people with whom we seek to be in relationship. So when you're at the table, ask yourself the question and ask everybody else around the table the question. Who will bear the burden and who will receive the benefit of what we are about to do. So going back to where we started I hope you will do something quadastic with your understanding of the table something astounding that requires you to change your operating premise set to the soundtrack of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and that leaves the world basking in your afterglow. I hope that you think, know and believe something different about the table than what you did 12 minutes ago and as a result of that you would decide and act and do something something different to be in true relationship. I hope that you'll pick up your phone leave your office test those assumptions that you have about the people and the places that you hope to change recognizing that they have answers to questions you won't even think to ask and most of all I hope that you decide that you don't want to just exist or to follow but that you want to lead because ultimately tables they're waiting for you. Thank you.