Work Less, Do More With Dr. V Boykin | INBOUND 2024

Inbound. Hello. How are you? We're gonna have to be friends. Otherwise this is really scary. And she looks really impressive, so I'm really hoping that I sound as impressive as she looks. Thank you for being here. And I'd also like to thank the men and those that identify as men for being here as well, because you're needed and I'm also going to be talking to you today. Does that sound fair? So I have a BS in Marketing Management, an Ms. In Management and Leadership, an MBA and a dba. My focus was organizational leadership, specific focus on women in tech, obtaining and retaining senior leadership positions. And I have to tell y', all, I'm a little nervous today because I got some Botox to fix my face and they put it in my dao and unfortunately I can't say P or B very well. So since I'm sharing that, I also want to share that prior to all of those degrees that I listed off, I was also in prison and a stripper. I used to get a little bit more of a response when I did the stripping part of it, but that's okay. And I was able to get to where I am now because I had social support. I had less to do things with, but I got further and there's a reason why, and there's a science to it, and I want to share that with you today. Does that sound fair? Okay. Employee well being improves job performance, retention, profitability. The better you feel as an employee, the less likely you are to a trip. Work Life Balance initiatives optimize corporate profitability. This is a state of the Union. These are facts. If you go to drvboykin.com, you'll be able to see all the facts listed out. You'll also Shameless Plug be able to order a copy of Fix youx Face. Watch youh Tone. Women know what's needed. By the way. None of you need to fix your face or watch your tone. I like that, too. Diverse teams increase profits. Did y' all know that? Lots of people saying yes. How many of you actually have diverse teams? If diverse teams increase profit by 15 to 35%, why did only 3% of you raise your hand for having diverse teams? I think there's an opportunity to talk about DI and B, dei, dib, dbi, however you want to call it in terms of profits. But that's not what we're talking about today. I do encourage all of you to go back and see if your teams are not diverse and question why you don't want 15 to 35% more profitability. But even with that diversity, in 2019, there were more male CEOs in the S&P 500 named James than women. Did you know women increase profits by 21%. There's literally a 21% profit gap. Science, science. But don't companies like money? It's very hard to get to the 21% of women being in executive positions that increase profitability. When 43% of new mothers leave tech after their first child. Are there any women in here that have had a first child or people that identify as women? They get a round of applause right now. They're still here. I suspect the reason that women are leaving their jobs after their first child is because they're simply doing more and they have less time. But we like the profits that come with diversity and senior women leaders, right? Well, we say we do. We say we do. I don't want to leave the men out, number one, because I care for you. Number two, because we need you as allies, Number three, because we're all in this together. And to be very clear, when I say women are men, I also include those that identify as women or men. And I also include those anywhere along the spectrum. And I want to force all of you to do the same. But men are not allowed to show empathy, sadness, vulnerability, or they face backlash. How does that work? Anyone who has gray hair, like what happened to Alan Alda, like, what happened to that being okay? Superman doesn't take breaks. In fact, when men get a little bit of additional time, they're expected to open up their laptop, work more. They're not expected to go sit in the beautiful meadow with their children reading a book, folding laundry. That's what women are pictured on almost every laundry commercial I see. I can promise you, I have never been excited to fold laundry, and I've never done it in a meadow while my kids are perfectly clean sitting on a blanket. It's never happened for me. Men feel overworked and under family. Women feel exhausted. If work life balance increases productivity, we need work life balance to work less and do more. You literally need this. I'm calling companies into this conversation because companies benefit when we are more productive. And companies can offer social support that allows us to be more productive. And you're going to see where they can do that during this presentation. However, in my study, this is science, 95% of women were told to be more and less assertive at the same time. Any women had that happen? Is it just me? Just a quick question. How many women have been Told to fix their face in some sort of way. What about watching your tone? Yeah. What about for my men and those that identify as men? Have you been told to fix your face? Where are the hands? I'm sorry. I'll wait. One or two. Thank you. What about watch your tone? What about watching your tone when it doesn't have to do with how you're addressing a woman? Like, man to man, male identity to male identity. You've just been told to watch your tone. I'm just curious. That's what my research showed, too. Not as many. When you think about who told you to fix your face. Women and those that identify as women. Was it a woman or a man that told you? I'm so curious. A man, a man, a woman. Every single year of my professional career, I have been told to either fix my face, watch my tone or both. And most of the time I deserved it. Because if you say something utterly ridiculous, I'm going to look at you like you're utterly ridiculous. And yes, I do it on zoom too. I suspect if you're bipoc, black, indigenous person of color, you're told that more and you're told that more. If you're a man or a woman or anywhere on that spectrum, your mind is working harder to to sort out the messaging that you get. There's something called the Premack principle, which means, like, you can't run and sit at the same time. Like, you can't do two things at the same time. You cannot be more and less assertive at the same time. It's a trap. So we all need to work less and do more and less stress. Managers. Less stress, not more stress, increases productivity. Managers, again, I say to you, less stress, not more stress will increase our productivity in order to truly do more but work less, there's five areas I'd like you to focus on and I'd like to thank Rachel for translating five critical mentorship so you can free up your mental load. Work life balance so you're literally not overworked. Opportunity so you can focus on what matters to you and not what will not elevate you. I will explain that before everybody. Like, I'm not doing that. Okay. Ambition, so you get to work on what gets you ahead. Five things. Y' all with me. Thanks, tribe. How much time do you spend thinking about work too much? How much time do you spend thinking about work when you're not even at work? How many have made almost a hobby out of talking about work? Like, you don't draw or run or paint or whatever people do that, have hobbies. You talk about work. Yeah. You're less effective when you do that. When you talk about work when you're not at work, that means you're not recharging. That means you're trying to strategize against yourself without an actual topic. Because there is nothing you can do for Becky with the good hair that doesn't like you. Not one thing. Oh, y' all don't know about Becky with the good hair. Oh, thank you, Beyonce. I was just gonna wait. Crowd diversity. No, y' all are friends. Stay, stay, stay, stay. I'm gonna encourage you to at least have one day a week, just one, where you do not talk about work when you are not at work. Can you imagine it? Anybody do it. Really do it. I don't believe you, but I'm envious. Well done. Continue to do it. Go back, talk about it in your team meetings. This is what I do. I shouldn't say I don't believe you because then you might leave. I believe you, but I don't stop talking about work when you're not working. That's your time to recharge. And you have to recharge because work life balance increases productivity and profitability. When we think about mentorship, did you know that women with a mentor post mba, but we can extrapolate. Women with a mentor or are 56% more likely to get a job just because they have a mentor. You know what? That 93% represents men. That's okay. Come along with us. 93% more likely to get a job. Now, most of you have jobs, and that's why you're here. But how many of you would like a better job? Get a mentor. Don't raise your hands. They won't invite me back if we have a loud quitting session on Monday. But it does. It's because mentorship supports the things that allow you to get a job with better work. Life balance with unlimited pto. Right? It's tech. Unlimited pto, flexible work hours. These are the things that we need. You get a mentor to strategize and prep for the difficult conversations. Anyone here spent a lot of time shoulding on themselves. I should have done this. I should have said that when they said that. I should have said when she said. Watch your tone. I should have said. How do you mean? What are you talking about? That shoulding on yourself is what you talk through with a mentor so you can let yourself off the hook because you don't deserve to be victimized by not knowing what to say. But by re victimizing yourself, by replaying it over and over again, you need your mental capacity to strategize. What about figuring out what to say the next time someone steals your idea in a meeting? That's what you talk about with your mentor. Because when your idea is stolen in a meeting, it haunts you. Or maybe just me. Yeah, it haunts you. And for my men out there, my husband said I should say this. You know when you don't know what to say, when a woman has a bad idea, which isn't ever happening, but you want to say it's not a good idea, but you don't want to be that guy. All of the men are afraid to nod yes right now. But that's what you talk to your mentor about as well. It's about what to do. And when you have a plan, you're less likely to be thrown off, which means you're less likely to put yourself in a situation where you're shitting on yourself. And instead of strategizing, when you're not overworking yourself, you work more effectively, you are more sharp, you are more effective. And it is not the quantity of hours that you work. It is the quality of those hours. Managers, less stress, not more, increases productivity. And it is not how many hours those people that you manage are working are working. It is not. It's the quality of those hours. For those of you that are working a lot of hours, would you agree? It's not how many. It's the quality you need to free up time so you have quality work hours. Did y' all know we're doing 84% more chores since COVID Because there's a collapse between work, life, balance, boundaries. 85% of US women, specifically, because of my study. But I'm going to bring men along because I know y' all are working at home and I know you're working on domestic chores during that time. 85% of us are completing chores during meetings. Oh, I mean, in between meetings. I know why you have your zoom cameras off, but we are. And that means between meetings, when you're flipping the laundry or washing that dish or preparing the meal for the evening or the lunch or the breakfast, you're not strategizing. And this is where companies come into play because they want us to be strategizing. If you're strategizing for the next meeting, you would be more effective in the meeting. But we're pulling out vacuums and we're vacuuming the corporate workspace, which is now our office. Anyone when we were in office, pull out a vacuum in the middle of the day and start going to town. How many of you vacuum your home office right now? Oh, nobody's vacuuming their home office. Y' all don't know if you're. Do you have a Roomba? What's going on? Someone connect with my husband. Tell him what you're doing, because I don't want to vacuum anymore either. You need to tell the truth about your workday. And you need to make sure that you are not overloading yourself. Partner support. You may not have a physical partner. You don't actually need a physical partner. Based on my research, just based on my research, you can create the perfect partner. You can create the support that you need. We're on. We're talking about five things. This is chapter six, building the perfect partner. It's in my book. Okay, back on track. But seriously, you may not have a physical partner, and that is perfectly okay. 80% of successful women leaders in tech said it was their partner or spousal equivalent that allowed them to ascend to those ranks. But what I didn't say in my introduction is I've also been divorced three or four times, not counting. I'm married now. It's going great, but applause. Okay. Yeah, it's hard enough to need applause sometimes. Just kidding. 89% of women in my study also said they were discouraged by their partner. And I want you to take some time to think about this because this was a question I asked in my study. Who has discouraged you? And they said, every man I've ever dated, including my ex husband. For the men out there, this is what your moms, sisters, daughters might be saying might experience. It's what I would have said before I was 48 years old. I'm not here to tell you to get divorced or to get married. I am here to tell you that you need to create the equivalent of an incredible partner because you deserve one. And this goes for men or women. Because when you do split the load, you exponentially increase the time you have to recharge. And work life balance increases productivity. Work life balance allows you to work less and do more. Social support makes a difference. I want to be very clear on this one because this keeps me up at night. Companies, please start providing stipends for house cleaning. I don't need a gym membership. Please provide a stipend for grocery delivery services. Please provide a stipend for meal kits. Please provide a stipend for someone to vacuum my corporate workspace. I'M going to wait because I want every company leader to hear those applause and understand that social support is key. Absolutely key for you. Working less and doing more. You can have it all without doing it all. You just shouldn't be the one doing it all. And if you're working remotely or hybrid, you can stop buying the expensive perfume and nobody's smelling you. I feel like no one's going to come for a picture after. I'll be right there. Right. But seriously, you can stop buying the expensive shoes. Not all of them. Not these. I really like these. You can take some of the money that you might have spent on dry cleaning or buying pants. Because we're sitting down. Zoom. I mean, be careful. But seriously, reallocate those to social support systems that allow you to. To do less work so that you can do the things that you truly enjoy. Now, when it does come to seizing opportunities, you have the right to say yes to the things that serve you. That means you also have the right to say no to the things that don't. I want you to work less on less impactful things. I want you to work more on more impactful assignments. That seems obvious, but I know we're not doing that, so let's dive in more. In my study, 100% of women said they wanted to progress their careers. And I would imagine men are quite similar. Right. Is there anyone that's like, I refuse to get another raise, I refuse to get a promotion. If so, don't raise your hand, just kindly leave the session. But seriously, that's why we work hard to see our efforts rewarded. So if 100% of women said they wanted to progress their career, why is it that 90% passed on a career opportunity? And I would imagine men are passing on career opportunities as well? Oh, no. Yeah, probably not. I was trying to be inclusive, y'. All. All the women, y' all didn't see it, but there's this wave of women going, no, they're not passing. Here's the issue. How do you identify the right times to pass on an opportunity and the right times to seize an opportunity? And I want to give you two things to think about. When your boss comes to you and says, hey, we have this new project, I'm so excited about it. It's going to require a little extra work, but I think you are perfect for it. What is the first thing you should ask? Oh, wait, that's why I'm here. The first thing you should ask is, do I get to present this cross functionally? Do I get to Present this to your boss's boss. Does anyone ask that? And if they say no, it can go something like this. Oh, I really appreciate this opportunity. I know the last time we reviewed my goals, we were very committed to making sure I focused on improving XYZ skills. Can you share with me how this translates to this project? If it doesn't, you have every right to say, I really appreciate the fact that you thought of me, but I know that we really want to focus on these skills. Is there a way we can expand this opportunity to focus on the skills we agreed upon were critical for my growth and development as well as support the team? It's a big statement, but you have every right to say it. Every single right to say it. The second thing you ask is, can I present to my boss's boss? Your boss's boss. Not that's two levels. Skip level. Right. So if I report into my vp, who is a wonderful Annie Ingram, a woman, that means I would be asking her if I can present to Yamini. I would ask her. She'd probably try and find a way too. But that's what you want to ask. And if the answer is no, you can say, how can we expand this initiative to make it more impactful so that it does reach C suite level? Because it is more impactful, brings more benefit, and has more quantifiable outputs that are aligned with our objectives. Now, you might be thinking, I'm going to have to do that extra work anyway. I'm going to tell you, no, you actually don't. There's someone else on the team that didn't attend this talk that's not going to ask those questions. And you can line up an activity that's better suited for what you're trying to do, which means you've just found a way to work a bit less and still attack more of what matters to you. You want to accept the assignments that give cross functional access, visibility across teams, or allow you present to senior leadership. And it's not because you're arrogant and it's not because it's all about me. It's because if it's not cross functional and it doesn't go up two levels, it. It's not big enough for your talents, skills and abilities. It's not big enough for you, and we should stop acting like it is. It is big enough for someone, but not you. You do not need permission for your level of ambition. We spend a lot of time worried about what people think about where we want to go and who we want to be and how we want to get there and why it's me again and why it's you again. And why do I have to listen to her again or him again or her again? Refocus people on your accomplishments and not your attitude when they tell you to fix your face when they tell you your tone's a little off. Thank you for that feedback. What do you think I accomplished positively during that meeting that we can quantify for my next review? And how does all of this play together? It's because it's about taking things off your plate that don't belong there, that create more work for you, but you're doing less of what you love. Let's less of what's impactful, less of what matters, less of what recharges you, less of what allows you to be the employee that feels like they belong, which means your productivity tanks. When you do the things you don't want to do, your sense of belonging goes down, your rate of attrition goes up. You're not as profitable for the company. You literally have a fiduciary responsibility to do these things. So there's five areas. But before you get out of your seats, because this is important, I want to talk to you about intersectionality. That means you are black, queer, and trans. You're black, male, and queer. You're indigenous and a woman. Where the points intersect. Actual quotes from my study. Now, if diversity increases profitability by 15 to 35%, but all of our employees that are black, indigenous, people of color, or somewhere on the intersectionality spectrum are thinking this. They're not being productive. And for any of you that want to have jobs or that own stock, you need them to be productive. Because when they don't show up, when diversity doesn't show up, you get airbags that are designed for men, that are more dangerous for women and smaller sized men. You get AI that can't recognize faces. You get Alexa that can't understand me even when I don't have a Botox issue. What is up with Alexa? This matters. This is about profitability. And D, E, I and B is all well and good and it feels good, but it also makes money. So you need to be aware this is going on. You need to be aware that their minds are overworking. And we already said stress decreases productivity. And that's why you need to know this. These talented people deserve an equitable work environment because they want to make money for the company. And that's why it matters to you. That's why it matters to all of us. When you prioritize, you, you experience less stress. When you have less stress, your productivity goes up. When you focus on those five areas, your sense of belonging goes up. When you belong more, you. Your attrition goes down. That means it costs companies less. And this is not about being woke. This is about making money. Even though most product lines are woke because there's deodorant for women and deodorant for men and motorcycles for women and motorcycles for men, the only time we don't want to be woke is when we're talking about our people. But that's a different day. But I still said it. So it is time to focus on working less and truly doing more and allocating resources in your life that allows you to do that. Accepting work that is meaningful, that elevates you, and saying no to the things that don't. It's about not buying makeup or fancy clothes and instead buying yourself someone that can professionally come in and clean your house once a month. And for all the companies out there, stop with the gym memberships, stop with the perks we don't need, and put in some real programming that prioritizes the individual at the same cost as the programming you're doing now, but allows people to strategize between meetings instead of running to the grocery store. Yeah. So thank you so much.