This Is How You Can Permanently End Fear of Failure

This is how you can permanently get rid of fear of failure. And really, to do this, you need to understand the root cause of it and the root cause of our problems. Look, I'll give you a couple examples. There's this boy, he was young. It was with his twin brother. They're in a park. A true story, by the way. His mom is like pushing them and everything. And one of the twins was asleep, the other one was awake. Now there's this tiny dog comes by and starts barking. The brother who was awake, he enjoyed it, like, hey, look at a dog. I'm rejoiced. But the kiddo who was sleeping got startled, right? He was scared. Oh my God, what's this barking noise? And to him at such a young age, it meant danger. You know, what's going on? It really scared him. And ever since that moment, this dude had a phobia of dogs, even the tiny little ones, the Chihuahuas. And he couldn't explain it. Let's get to another example. There's another true story. This lady, when she was young, I Forgot her age, 8 or 9, she was sleeping in a bunk bed, the lower level, right? Her sister was on top of her. And in the middle of the night, the bunk bed gave up. The bed collapsed and she almost choked to death, right? She was running out of air. It was a very traumatic experience. And ever since that moment, she's had issues with sleep, she's had issues with insomnia. Went to all the doctors, got all the meds, tried all the therapies. She could not get rid of this insomnia. She'd go to bed and just constantly worry. And her brain would just be going in these circles and have a really hard time falling asleep. Well, because you're constantly worrying about something. And then another example, say. And this was a true example too, I forgot the gentleman's name, but many of us have experienced this, including myself. Something similar he went into in front of the class, said something stupid. Kids laughed at him, including the teacher. And obviously, as a little child, we jump to simple conclusions, right? We may not understand the complexities of life, that, hey, I just made a mistake, no big deal. We tend to make things a little bit bigger than they seem, especially at such a young age. And he just jumped to the conclusion, like, hey, I'm not smart. That's why all these kids are laughing at me. That's why I feel so embarrassed and humiliated. And ever since then, he felt like he's not good enough. He's not smart, and he's had issues in academics, workplace, et cetera, et cetera. Now this is the root cause of our problems. It's the memories. It's the experiences we have, right? We all go through experiences in life and then automatically we assign it as a meaning. They get stored in our brains as memories. Now these memories act as the foundation of, as the building blocks of our beliefs, right? Because that's the proof that's like the legs to the table, like, hey, I'm not good enough where I'm not smart. Because this and this and this happened, that forms our beliefs. Now our beliefs are going to filter our perception, are going to filter our thoughts, feelings and actions and are going to shape them. If you think you're not good enough and you run into some interaction with a person and they say something, maybe they didn't mean it at all, but you're more prone to perceive it as like, oh, he's disrespecting me, or he's making fun of me. Because deep down you believe that you're not good enough. And your brain is automatically just looking for evidence to confirm that it's true. Because that's the belief, right? And therefore that becomes the result, that becomes the new experience that you go through in life and it becomes a vicious cycle. It becomes a fellow, goddamn, I can't talk today, a self fulfilling prophecy, right? This becomes the new memory, the new data in your brain saying, look, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart. Because it just gets more and more reinforced. So that is the root of our problems. When all, all of these people, when they went back to the root cause memory, to the traumatic event and they were able to, number one, identify the memory, find out what was causing the phobia, the insomnia, the feeling of not good enough. Number two, they were able to desensitize it, get rid of the negative emotion in it, because that's what really keeps it alive. And number three, they were able to flip it into the opposite and positive, right? The dog was no longer scaring the little kid, but he was playing and enjoying it with his brother, right? The bed no longer collapsed on the girl. They just slept through the night, had a good time and the kids laughed with him instead of at him. And immediately all of these problems start to vanish. No more phobia of dogs. She was able to sleep after trying all the pills, all these different things. And the kid finally, well, eventually the man who was in his like 40s or something started feeling better about himself and self esteem was going up. Self Confidence. And it all started with the memory. And the key to resolve these issues was again at the memory. That's why we developed a tool called memory flipping. Because it really goes to the root cause of things. Many people start to try to work on the thoughts, feelings and actions, right? You go to talk therapy and they try to talk about your different memories that you went through and what you thought about it, etc. But they never really change and deal with the memory in the first place, right? You learn about affirmations and visualization and it helps a little bit, but we always have this internal conflict because, you know, you keep telling yourself, I'm smart, I'm good at math, I'm good enough. But then you have all these evidence, is all this proof in your brain, in your unconscious mind that says, no, it's not true. All of these different painful emotional events happen and you know, you can keep lying to yourself, but I have all this proof that it's not true, right? The brain cannot believe in two conflicting opposite ideas. So for these affirmations to work, for this goal setting, to work, for these visualizations to work and to be able to move forward in life, get rid of these bad habits, positive, possibly addictions, low self esteem, all of these things. The bottom line is you need to go to the source, you need to go to the root cause. There are always memories there. There's always these layers above it. But it's this at the very root cause, it's the memories. And that's what you want to work on to create a change fast and to create a change that lasts. So this is Peter Sabo. Hope you enjoy and see you in the next one. Sam.