Being real with the ups and downs [A Year of Surrender- part 14]

Let's be real, let's talk about the ups and the downs of being a coach, of being an entrepreneur, of getting your purpose out into the world. This year has been a wild roller coaster for me. By the way, my name is Peter Swenning, I'm running Leadership Art Master coaching and I've been certifying over 636 students that's now gone on to become coaches. And one of them, she shared in her Facebook group of the alumni, the grads, yesterday that now she's ready to publish. Her book is coming out in a month, the pre orders are here. And when she graduated with me five years ago, the last thing she did was I was there live with them like a big thing. I think we're like 150 people in the room. And I guided a meditation of what's, what wants to come through you and into the world. And for her it was like, oh, write a book about burnout. I was like, what? She said what? But she listened to her voice and she did it. In the beginning she thought it would be like textbook that could be used in universities and stuff. But after a while she had so much process, an internal process, that she needed to get it out there as a personal story. And we know that being vulnerable is a strength, being personal is a strength. And when you dare to do that, that is when people really listen and really get mood and that's when you can make a change and difference in the world. And that's what she's been doing with this book and it's coming out and it's going to be great. Her name is Sigrilisa and she's amazing and she's actually, I'm saying that because she's been raising her hand, asking really tough questions to me in public because she is full of courage and love and she wants truth, which is amazing. And I've been honoring her and answering her and I've been honoring her all the way and I allowed her and invited her to share with the community and all of them pre ordered a book because the thing is, what's important when she's sharing this is her vulnerability. It's like a book can be written quite fast. I know that I've been writing several international bestsellers, but she spent five years. Because one thing is writing the book, one other thing is all internal processes you need to go through to earn and learn what really works and what doesn't and the ups and the downs. And it is so easy to see all the ups. You know, I've been certifying 600 clients, I've been having best selling books, I have a master course program, all the ups, but what about the downs? So inspired by one of my clients, let me share some ups and downs from this year. In the last year, I started off the year with record month after record month of the record month. The first quarter was really, really, really high. And among like the top coaches in the world, I actually got a plaque like award saying, yeah, you, you did it, man. But at the fourth month, I could start seeing that I was heading into the wall because I had this mission. And I have this mission because I know that when I work with coaches to allow them to be coaches, be who they are and deliver their joy and their love to the world in an amazing way. So people will beg them to become clients without them pushing themselves onto others, without nagging people on social media to please become a client or some other stuff, and without trying to sell themselves, but just by doing what they love and what they are brilliant at, meaning coaching people. Coaching people into the truth and who they are and what they want to create in the world. So that is, that is what I do. But what's really happening in that process of helping people get coaching clients without selling themselves and pushing themselves onto others is who they are becoming on the way. And this is the real key. So in this process, I am showing people who they really are. And they are. I'm not only showing them, oh, this is who you're supposed to be. No, no, no, who are you really in here in that essence of you. And I guide them with exercises. They get to experience it for themselves. And from that on, that moment, everything shifts and their whole energy shifts and their whole attraction. They become like a client magnet because something everyone is longing for. And then also I teach them how to take people out of the stuckness and into the joy, into the calm, into the love, into the freedom. And when I am able to bring people there and understand how it's done and what is the missing ingredient and how can you find the one thing which is holding everyone back? When the coaches know that they have this certainty that means they can speak to people and find out what their problem is and what their dream is. And they also know that this is the one thing holding you back and how to remove it and bring them into a state of joy, calm, freedom and love. When you know that there is no push anymore just to sign up people, people are begging to become clients. And this is what I want to get out So I had this big dream of like getting like 42 new clients a month. And I was pushing, but I didn't have a system for it because if I were running at the pace I was running at the moment and like doubling that, it would be crazy because my system that I had in place started to break already at the point I was at. So the reason for that, I think, is that I've been mission driven all the time. The backstory here is that I used to be a monk for five years. And that monk thing, I'll tell you some other day, that actually came along because since I was a small kid of like 3 years, 4 years, 5 years, always been heart centered and soft and I felt all this bumping each other down to like pushing people down to be a floaty self is wrong. Because if we just uplift each other, we all rise. So that's where I've been at all my life. So when I met these monks and my heart melted like lava, I sat there and it came up to me and asked me, do you believe this? Yes. Do you believe that? Yes. Do you believe this? Yes. Do you believe you have a soul? Oh, yes. Do you believe you're eternal? Yes. Do you believe in love? Yes. All these questions and it was yes, yes, yes, yes. And then because my heart was lava, their questions was just yes questions. They said, so you should become a monk. And I said, yes. And I don't regret it. But I don't recommend it neither, because it's not necessary. Because the essence of what I learned as a monk is what I'm teaching now. And it is possible to do within the container of your life, within a container of your family, your kids, your work, your coaching, your mission, your passion. You don't have to sit in a cave or in a temple or walk around barefoot in the mountains of India for weeks on end. You don't have to, you can. I don't recommend it because there's so much other stuff that's put on top of your essence in that scenario as well. So just get back to who you are, everything you long for. Everything I found as a monk was here all the time. I was walking around looking for something and I found it here because it was in my heart all along. And that's the whole thing. So here I had this first three, four months of my business doing really great, wanted to expand it, and then I had enough. I just felt like I am about to burn myself out. And that is costly. I'm not going to do that. So I stopped. I just stopped there. And then I decided to serve my current clients to the best of my ability and turn them into happiness and joy. And I did, and I do. And I took a long break. Was kind of a sabbatical, because I started to, like, rethink how I'm doing things. But in. If I had this one key, I'm sharing with you now, if I were smart enough to think, okay, I'm on the right track. I'm on my mission. I'm serving people to the truth, and everything is beautiful, but the system is not rigged for this in a sustainable way. I could step back and say, I'm taking a sabbatical now. I'm taking. I'm taking off for the rest of the year, and that's cool, and I love that, and I'll rejoice in that, and I'll come back with a new plan, a new system, a easier way of spreading this love to more people. But instead, in the process, I've been feeling exhausted and tired. I've been feeling that I'm doing something wrong, what's wrong with me? All this negative crap. And thank God I have the techniques I'm teaching, because then I can see it, I can feel it, and I can let go of it. And it's a lot of letting go, and it's a lot of surrendering into the moment, surrendering into the joy which is here, and acknowledging that, okay, so this is after running this long, long sprint, because it's not a marathon. It's been a long sprint. I can let go and see who am I now? Who have I become? What is it really I want to share and with whom? And when that is coming, becoming clear, how can I use everything I know and in the most heartfelt, truthful way, share it and invite the right people to work with me in the next chapter of leadership art, Master coaching. And it's coming together beautifully. Ah, I'm so happy and grateful. But for me to actually understand that, that I'm been. I've been having a period of six, seven months where I've been letting go stuff and serving my clients, and that is the best. The best few hours or a week, when we have the master webinar, I'm like, I'm so glowing. So when I leave my office and go the living room in our dream home here, I meet my wife, and she's like, oh, so you've been meeting with the masters now, huh? Because I'm. I'm shining. Because it is an intense service. It is lifting the best people on the planet into the next level of them. And I love it. So I know what I love, and I'm here now sharing with you, because I've been listening to podcasts in the last few days and weeks of other entrepreneurs who had their ups and header downs. And most of them only show off their ups. And that's why I made a series called A Year of Surrender, because I know there's more in store for me, more to let go of, because it's really tempting. Like I told you the other day, because this is a part of a video series called A Year of Surrender. This is part 14. And I think I told you in, yes, part 11. I was really upset because I found out, okay, the next thing, I'll produce a new webinar where I share this and this and this and what is the best structure? Let me look at the best webinar producers in the world and see how to do it. And I started to cry after watching one of them because it didn't feel right. Because for me, it's not about like the millions. It's not about reaching all the people in the world and like, tricking them in. Like, one of the marketing terms is called trip wire, meaning you put a wire in the path for people to trip on and fall into your. Into your business. It's like, what? And then somebody didn't even hear because they're so used to the term, didn't hear what they're saying. So someone, I've said, so you create trust by tripwire. I was like, what? How can you actually create trust by having people fall on their face into your business? So I felt again, just like a kid, that I started to cry, which is a good sign because my heart said, no, no, no, no, no. That's not where we're going. We're going for love, we're going for upliftments. And for me, it is so extremely valuable when people share their journey. I got a guy yesterday, he said, like, he took off, he built this great business. It was like millions upon millions, million dollar months. And then it just, he said, I had this goal forever to get to a million dollar months and finally got to a million dollar a month. And I felt depressed. And he was like, this is depressing. And he told me that the clue is that when your goal, when you hit your goal and you feel flat and empty or depressing, it's because the goal came from your ego. So he took off and went on a sabbatical for a Year took off his business and restarted again from who he's. Who he really is, from what he really wanted to do. And in that process, he shared. He went for long walks. So do I, every week. And several times a week, I walk for long walks in nature. I have this beautiful island out in the sea here. It's beautiful. I walked there, like, sometimes every day, sometimes once a week at least. So he did that. He did sit in silence. He did meditate. He did take bath. I'm doing all of those. And I also go for a day a month for. For a spa experience, alone for a whole day. So what else? Well, he did a lot of coaching and therapy. Well, I practice what I teach, so I'm. I'm actually asking my mentor coaches inside our leadership art community and our company to also coach me because I also need someone to see what I can see. My blind zones. That's where the blind spots are. So I get coaching. And then I said. And then it's the 10 hours of crying every week, letting the old version of me go. And I was like, oh, I didn't feel alone. It's not only me, because everything I built up in a structure and in the construct of what I used to do, which, like 90% of it, oh, it is brilliant. 10% of it was exhausting and wrong and too good. Actually, it was too good. We need to downscale how great it is not in the delivery, but in marketing and sales. We don't have to drive hard. We can just allow people to experience the delivery. So then moving into the next piece. That was an old version of me. This is a new version of me emerging. So I need to let go of everything from the old version of me and listen to my heart and allow the crying to come whenever it comes. And you know what? It starts when it starts, it starts feeling icky and bad and. And like pulling me down. And it goes on for I don't know how long. Maybe if I catch it, it can take 30 minutes until I like, this is not the state I want to be in on bad days. Up to two, two and a half hours, three hours max. And I was like, I can't have this. And then I sit down to meditate and the meditation starts off. It's like, this is the meditation we do inside our tribe every single day. It can be short, it can be quick. But I breathe, just feel my breath just like it is right now and acting all the shit. Feel my body as it is, and that's okay, too. And Then I feel the feeling I'm feeling right now. So what feeling am I feeling right now? And maybe what feeling are you feeling right now? If you just breathe into it, allow it to take all the space it needs and then let it go. Oh, and the funny thing is that if you breathe into a current feeling, allow it to take all the space it wants and just let go of it on out breath. If you keep on doing that, it is like you're starting with a current feeling and then you're breathing it out. You're breathing in and maybe you feel the next feeling and you breathe it out and it tends to become lighter and lighter feelings. And sometimes a wave of like lower frequency feelings comes and you just stay with it without. Without making it wrong. And that's the whole thing about the whole episode here is not make your life wrong, allow it to be and just let go. And then the next feeling again, most of the time it's a more happy and joyful one. But let that go as well. Yeah, that's a clue. Let's breathe in and maybe it feels amazing. And let go of that. You don't have to cling to what's good, you don't have to push away what's bad. So allow the bad feelings and let go of the good ones. Let go of the bad, of course. So first we inhale and we feel whatever is there. If it's a bad feeling, let it go. And then we inhale and feel the feeling which is there. And it's probably a better and better and better feeling. But you also let that go and you allow yourself to float up the spiral towards joy and bliss and freedom and calm laughter and being yourself and meeting whatever is happening around you and allowing that to be as is and feeling in. Who are you and how do you feel right now? Letting go, letting go, relaxing and letting go again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again again and again and again and again, again and again, again, again, again. So that's the whole thing. We want to just let it go because then we fall into who you're supposed to be, who we are, me, who we are, really who we are inside, which is joy, which is bliss, which is freedom, which is love, which is calm serenity. And then we can meet whatever is happening. So I don't know how to keep this anonymous, but I had a situation very recently where I was really calm, connected to nature. Then I met someone who's dear to me, was really freaking upset that through their pen and their notebook and felt that everything was wrong. And I could go from my own inner palace of pleasure to just being there and seeing the greatness in this person, acknowledging how this person is feeling right now, and then seeing what I see in you and then lifting that person up. And that is a clue. Being vulnerable with. What is with you, letting that go and moving into who you're supposed to be, then you're an instrument for uplifting and enlightening, enlightening for others. Something that is really, really powerful, really valuable. And I had that once happening to me. I had a former colleague that I still love. That is amazing. But we. We did disagree about the direction of the company, and I was leading the company. He was working in a company, and he decided to leave. Well, I decided that he had to leave, but I still love him. And he's amazing and he's fantastic. We just wanted different things. And then he left. And then suddenly he started his own competitive company, competing directly against us and bringing on a very similar name, a very similar logo. And that's not very cool, but not a big issue, neither. I mean, we just came here yesterday, both of us, and we're moving tomorrow, leaving tomorrow. And we were eternal souls. Why? Why allow these little upsets to bring us down? But then his team started to message all my clients and bringing them over and giving them, like, a hysterical discount. And everybody thought this was a part of my thing. And so people signed up and told me, hey, I signed up. It's like, you sign up with our new competitor. It's like, what did I. So it was like, that was a troublesome thing. That's when I went for a walk in nature. This was a down. It's really a down. I remember this was back in 2018, I think it was June of 2018. And I really. And right now, my time is saying 11:11. So I'm about to share something important with you. So I had this experience where I had a former team member start a direct competition, recruiting my former team and connecting with, like, hundreds of my clients, sending them a direct personal message, trying to bring them over at a 75% discount. And, like. And I had all these messages come in at once because everybody messaged me at once about this happening. And I felt really upset. And I was like, this is not the time to go out and make. Take action in the world. So I went. I left my office, I went into the woods, and I did the same exercise of feeling what I was feeling and allowing to pass through, let go of it. And I did again, again and again. And then I went into active gratitude. What can I be grateful for right now? And it is like in seven minutes intervals, I let go of everything I felt. And then I went into active gratitude. And then as I stopped, negative emotions overwhelmed me again. And I did this for two or three hours. I just walked in nature, did this again and again and again and again. And I had this, this watch telling me every time it was seven minutes. And I started a new round just keeping me in that loop. And then I had let go of everything. Then I connected with a friend of mine and I told him about this and I said, peter, you're much greater than this. This is a small situation. You are eternal. You're bliss. You have so much to give. And the reason it's hundreds of people there to the fish among is because what you're serving people is great. So now take it to the next level. If this didn't matter at all and you could just serve at your best, at your highest level, what would you do? It's like, this is what I want to do. Okay, go for it. Let me say that again. This from a heart is what I want to do. And I went for it. And that was the 5th of June, 2018. And by the end of June, they had plucked up five of my current clients. But I had enrolled a new. A new record month for me at that time that was $289,000. That was the revenue my business collected at during that month because of this shift. And I want to say if anyone who's involved in the whole thing is listening to this, I love you. I'm sorry, Please forgive me. Thank you. The whole thing is we are all driven by wanting to be connected to that eternal bliss and love and joy and peace in our heart. And we don't have to trample each other down to feel the upliftment to float. We can lift each other. We can make this a better place, a better world. We can serve the person and the situation and relation in front of us from our heart. And to do that, we have to be real with what's going on inside of us and allow it. And there's nothing wrong with whatever you're feeling at whatever time. It is just a feeling. There's nothing wrong. There's never ever anything wrong. Acting out from those feelings can cause harm, but it's an invitation to feel it, breathe into it and let it go. And when you do that, it's all love. You will get to your natural harmony, your state of love, of joy, of bliss. That's what I want for you. So that's why I'm ending this episode of A year of Surrender. From my heart to you today, please allow yourself to feel the ups, feel the downs, allow them to pass through you and let go. Because on the other side of that, you. You'll be happy. And on the backside of that happiness, you will feel eternal bliss. There's nothing better than that. And I think that's what we're all longing for. And the more you surrender into that, the more people are flocking to you to have you guide them deeper into that. And if you want to be a leader, a leadership by heart leader, someone who's surrendering into your heart, into your beauty, into your bliss, and you want to allow other people to have the same experience, come over and join us in our Facebook group called Elevated Master Coaches, where it's all about uplifting each other and bringing this gift of love out in the world. If you like this, please comment. Please share it, please like it. Whatever you do, share with some friends who would love it too. Take care of I love you. This is Peter Swanning from Leadership Art signing out, saying thank you for being you. Now relax and release and be happy. Thank you.