Peter Svenning walks through a stressful morning with kids and icy roads, then traces his anger back to sadness and feeling like he's failed. He breathes through it, lets it go, and lands on gratitude for the people around him.
Okay, I need to let this shit go. Going live here, talking to you about this shit is like feeling like kamikaze. Like, this is the stupidest thing I can do. Going live on video in this emotional state of rage, anger, pissed off. Because that's what I am now. And I totally, 100% know that it's bullshit. And I totally, 100% know that if I don't let go of this shit, it will start manifesting in my life, like, all suppressed emotion. So instead of suppressing it, I need to deal with it. And instead of dealing with it behind closed doors and behind the curtains, I want it to be real and not pretend. Like, my year of surrender is all roses and lollipops and honeycorns and rainbows and all sweets. It's real. So why I'm so angry? Well, I came home in my car after dropping off the kids to kindergarten and school, and it didn't go according to plan. One of my sons, he didn't want to eat breakfast because I haven't shopped for the right groceries. I needed to do that on the way. He came a few minutes late for school. It was really icy and slippery. I was afraid I wouldn't get up with a car up the hills. But I got the climb done. And it is small, small things. Like, we have a basket in our hallway where I thought me and my wife were just supposed to put our clothes and stuff, and she had thrown mine out because it was her basket. And it's, like, got to me, like. And just speaking it out is totally. It's such innocent, small, unnecessary, unimportant things in the grand scheme of things in life. But still, it gets to me. And I think this is basically what it is to be human. You know, what makes you angry and what makes me angry is basically that we let this small shit take over and become big things. And that's because underneath. And I'm trying to philosophy fire around this because I feel it when I speak out. The reasons I am angry.
I was afraid I couldn't get up the icy slope. I was sad because my son didn't eat his breakfast. I needed to shop for groceries, and he became five minutes late to school. I'm such a bad father. I didn't prepare.
Everything is this childlike. I want to be perfect, but I am not. And that is sore and sad. So behind the anger, it's sadness because I'm not living up to my own expectations of who I should be as a father and as a husband. And then my wife Threw my gloves out of the basket means I didn't understand what the basket was all about. And I misunderstood. And I thought I was wrong not understanding. So that is the small things in life. But these external events and all of them coming on top of each other in five minutes took my emotional state down for a dive. And I noticed it. I could feel the anger of it. But I could also appreciate that when we got to kindergarten, the grown ups there talk to my kids about their morning. And that's of course, where the focus should be. And I was so pleased and happy to do that and speak about that and talk to my neighbors and smile to people. So I noticed it. And I think this is good for all of us to notice. Why is it that my emotional state is like a rollercoaster right now? It's because this incident. But what did I really feel behind it? Well, I was sad. I feel like a failure. I cannot. I couldn't prepare the morning perfectly enough. And then the anger was to protect myself against the feeling of being a failure, of sadness. And now comes the letting go part. Because I'm not gonna let this ruin my day and my week and my month and my life and this moment. So I'm breathing into it, allowing it to be here and acknowledge all it is, whatever it may be in all aspects of myself, all the way to the bottom of it, all the way back to when it started to its origin right now, in this moment. It's okay. It's totally okay. Yeah. Okay. I'm breathing into whatever is here now. And it's calm, it's power, it's joy. It's who I am. Now. If this is a totally new moment, I'm breathing into whatever I feel. There's a little sadness in here. I'm letting that go. It's laughter. So all this was just like small thin layers covering the real essence of who I am. And now the state has shifted back to its natural state, state of calm, joy, love and freedom. And from here, what does my heart want to express through me today in this moment? Such an immersing wave of gratefulness. Gratefulness for being able to share. Gratefulness for being able to laugh. For my wife and for my kids and for the teachers and staff that took care of my kids today. For the people that cleaned the slopes. Not the slopes, but it's supposed to be the roads. And they actually swooped up all the snow and made room for me to drive my car. Thank you. Then all the people that actually in the unknown for me like People I don't know who made things happen for me today. People that the bakery baked the bread I bought for my son, the Janashar that heated the pool where my son is now taking swimming lessons. Ah, stuff like that. There's hundreds, thousands of people who contributed to making this moment such a brilliant moment. And here we are letting go of all the shit that is covering our natural joy. My natural joy, your natural joy. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm surrendering, surrendering into this greatness which is greater than me, which is always here, which is always flowing. And I want to be in that flow. I want to be that expansive, immersive version of me who can rest into that. I want to see that in you. I want to see that state in you regardless of what's happening. And I want the grace and the flow of love to flow between us in the most loving and serving way. And I have one question today. How may I be of service to you? Yeah. That is a Year of surrender part five. And if it's gonna be like 2, 300 episodes, it is. I'm gonna be blissful at the end, I'm sure. But that is stupid. Why cannot be blissful now? I am. Okay? I am blissful now. Episode five, done. So what is happening with you? How can you meet whatever is happening with you and speak it out loud as if you were a kid just blurping it out?
I'm sad because I wasn't sure I couldn't drive up the hill. I was afraid.
So just add a little bit of flavor of a three year old.
You're good.
Then you get to know the real emotions and then you can just allow those emotions to be there, embrace them for a while, let go that shit and you're free, just like me. Okay, enough. Enough talking. Have a beautiful day, my love. I love you.
