Tough Conversations

We're going to call today's video one really tough conversation. This is another quote I saw that I liked. It was one really tough conversation can change your life. And that's so true. Most of my tough conversations since I'm self employed have been with business. I'll give you a couple examples in another real life, but they usually come when I've had to fire somebody and I know I need to fire them. I just keep swallowing it, keep swallowing and putting it off and just having that tough conversation once you finally have it and saying, I'm sorry, you're not a good fit for my organization anymore. It's like a relief off your shoulders. I mean, you're practically sick for days thinking about this and how that can change your life. And unfortunately these just happen, you know, they happen and they need to happen quite often in life. But it's like pulling a band aid. You just got to do it quickly. Sitting on it, ruminating, letting it eat away at your soul isn't good for anyone. And quite often the person that this happens to on the other side of the coin, they know what needs to happen. They're just putting it off or buying themselves time. I mean, I had to fire one of my sales guys one time because he was embezzling a little bit of money. He was not, he was leaving work early and I had a remote office and he was doing some other stuff and we kept figuring it out that he wasn't supposed to be doing and I had to fire him. And man, it was just, it made me sick. But after I did it, it was one of the toughest conversations I'd had at the time. It was a relief because it was over. You know, it wasn't wearing my soul and my brain down. You know, it's hard when you see a grown man start crying because he loses his job. But he damn well knew what he was doing. He just didn't like that he got caught. Another time I had a 12 year staffer who I really liked and I knew she was a functioning alcoholic. She'd gone through a lot. Divorce, series of bad boyfriends, bad choices. But drinking at lunch, drinking in the afternoon in your office, clients started complaining. Some of my good clients that are friends and someone has worked for you for 12 years and done a great job, but you knew that it was time, you know, I was ignoring a lot of these symptoms because she still did a pretty good job and that was a hard, hard conversation to let her go. I gave her a nice severance package. The funny Thing is, months later and even a year later, she followed up. She thanked me for the wake up call. She was on a downward spiral that was just getting worse. You know, she wasn't going to crawl to that hole anytime soon, if ever, until that wake up call came. Now she doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke, and she's got, I think she's engaged or married now. We don't really keep up as much anymore. But she thanked me multiple times for what I did. That was a hard freaking conversation that I didn't want to have. And I put it off and I put it off and I put it off. So that's just two business examples. You know, other times are in life you might meet someone and think, I'm in love, or I think this might be the one. But then you see signs and flags and you're like, we spent a lot of time together but this just isn't going to go the distance. And this is a hard conversation to have, but we need to have it. Or it might be they're doing something you don't like and you say, hey, fix this or else. I'm just amazed at our friends that have put up with infidelity with their spouses. Both sides, men and women, there's forgiveness and then there's just like you're a doormat and you're letting yourself be treated badly and you need to have that conversation that says this ever happens again, you're out. Or the conversation that one of our former neighbors should have with her spouse is, you're out. You've done up a, A Ron. You know, it's not strike one, two and three, this is like strike ten. But yet people won't have it. They're afraid. Sometimes it's like, what are people going to think of me? Who cares? Who cares what people think? You know, you need to look at your worry about yourself. But so many times it's just nobody wants to have these uncomfortable conversations because they are uncomfortable. But guess what, after a brief period of time, you know, it can blow up and last a few minutes. It can linger on and last 30, 45 minutes, an hour, maybe a couple of days until you say, hey, I'm getting a vpo. I meant it, you're out. That's just a game changer in your life. But you have to have these. And it's just like I said, you have my permission to have hard conversations. And occasionally you guys will pull us off the side, especially me, it seems like maybe pull me off to the side and say, hey, what if I did xyz? And that's a tough conversation. I can tell because occasionally the last two, that, you know, it's tough for you guys. It's not tough for me per se, but when was it is a career change possibly or addition. And one was a life change. And I can tell you guys had thought this through. You had a good pitch. You had thought both sides of the coin to see what I would say. And you had multiple sales pitches. This is why I'm doing this. X, Y, Z. I really think it's going to be good. I mean, you had some backup sales pitches. Very good. You don't have to do that with me. You know, normally, unless it's something really major. But I just thought today, as you guys get older, uncomfortable conversations are going to go from, you know, what's for dinner? Where do we go to dinner, what movie you want to watch on Netflix tonight? To you're having to fire employees. You're leaving your career or job. You're leaving a employer you've been with for multiple years due to various reasons. And it takes some. It takes courage and fortitude to do that. Another real world example, one of our good friends who's a. A chef at a restaurant we go to a lot, he pulled us aside and said, hey, I gave my 30 days notice. You guys are friends and you come here all the time. You know, I love you guys. And now I want, I think you should know. We were shocked. I'm like, well, where are you going? Don't know. That conversation, that situation was so uncomfortable and so bad for this person. They quit a job they'd had for multiple years that was a really good job with nothing else lined up to get out of the situation. That takes a lot of courage. Got a wife and kids, wife works, probably saves some money. But still, that must have been a hell of a freaking conversation. Hey, I worked here for four or five years. Here's my 30 days notice. Ain't working out. Whatever. We didn't go to the details. I just know that it takes a lot of courage for a man with a family to leave a good job with nothing inside. Now guess what? This guy's got some talent. He's got really good skills. He'll land on his feet. But still, he had that uncomfortable conversation with his employer that most people wouldn't. And sometimes you'll see that people will just like, disappear from your life. They'll disappear from your workplace. You're like, hey, where did Karen go? No one's seen her. She. Instead of having a conversation, people just move. I mean, I've seen people leave the state versus having that kind of conversation. So hopefully this, this helps you just to know the fact that you're gonna have these. They're gonna happen. Put on your big girl panties, have the conversation, get that shit off your back. Because I've been physically sick for some of these that I had to have. I fired. Clients said, you know what? We are no longer a good fit. You're not nice to my staff, you're not nice to me, you're a pain in the ass. Go somewhere else. And it might hurt financially. But after that uncomfortable conversation, Jesus Christ, you feel so good. You're like, that stress was not worth it, even for the money they paid me. And makes you feel good and takes that off your plate. Because if you sit here and stress on these things too, it can affect your health mentally and physically. So again, you're going to have to have these uncomfortable conversations. They will be game changers quite often. Have them, get them over with, move on with your life. Everything's going to be okay. You might be on the other side of that coin. Trust me, you will live to fight another day.