Communication Skills You Wish You Knew Sooner w/ Steve Sims

Welcome back to the Profit Your Knowledge podcast. Today's guest is Steve Sims. I have been waiting for a long time to be able to have a conversation with this man, and, uh, we're just getting straight into it. So this is, um, this, this guy's just really cool. I'm really excited about this. He has been able to hang out and work with some ultra celebrities, like hang out with Sir Elton John, uh, Elon Musk, I'm pretty sure, and a ton of other crazy people. But I'm not going to talk too much about it. I just kind of want to get into the stories because I only have them for limited amount of time. But how you doing today, Steve?

I'm good, thanks for having me.

Yeah, man. So, uh, you, you briefly told me, but can you just tell, tell the world, like, what are you doing nowadays and how did you kind of get here?

Wow, two questions. Um, what do I do today? I teach, I train, I coach all over the planet. I have a community called Sims Distillery. I have a book, latest book called Go for Stupid. But in a nutshell, my job today is to get you out of the way of yourself, get you removing the confusion from your own brand and getting people to go for standout ridiculous goals. I want your goals to be laughable. That's what I do today. What has got me here is I was a bricklayer from East London who knew what it was to work hard but also knew what it was to have no money, no future, no prospects and I couldn't understand why. So I spent my life trying to find out how can I hang around with successful people. Along the way, I ended up getting them what they needed. So I became the Mr. Fix-It, the man that can, you know, when they say to someone, oh, I know a man, I was that man for some of the richest, most powerful people on the planet. And you named off a few people I've worked with, Elon Musk, Sir Elton John, Richard Branson, the Vatican, I've worked with some pretty amazing people and I ended up launching by default the world's leading experiential concierge firm that did things like, you know, play drums with Guns N' Roses, piano lesson with Elton John, be on stage, drive a Formula 1 car, close down a museum in Florence for a private table of 6 to feed Michelangelo's David. And then when they started their main course, I had Andrea Bocelli come in and serenade them. So Forbes called me the real-life Wizard of Oz. As I say, I was just a curious entrepreneur, just like you and just like every entrepreneur that maybe just pushed it a little bit further than maybe you to find the answers from the most powerful people on the planet as to what they deemed as success and how they became successful.

I love that, man. So you're kind of like Napoleon Hill with Think and Grow Rich in a way. Yeah. Yeah.

I see the similarity. Yeah.

That's what I'm thinking about right now. Um, so that being said, if you were to make like your own, like, like a mini Think and Grow Rich for the audience right now, you know, where you, you interviewed, you spent all this time with these people, what were, you know, one or a couple of the biggest takeaways that you got and kind of common threads you noticed with all these really successful people?

Well, the first thing I noticed very quickly was I was in the wrong room. I was in a room full of East London bikers, and therefore you are You are what you consume. If you consume negativity, you are negative. If you consume success, you are success. If you consume those naysayers and those settlers and those like-minded individuals that go, no, you'll never be great, that's what you're gonna be. So that was the first thing I noticed about all the most successful people that I was with. They controlled and harvested and tweaked and perfected that circle. If someone wasn't there to challenge and support, they weren't in that circle. And that sounds very selfish. And so it should be. You are a thoroughbred. You're not gonna feed a thoroughbred McDonald's. You really wanna focus on the environment because the better the environment, the better your possibilities, the better your integrity, the better your opportunities. So the first thing I noticed was that they were really, technical and articulate on who they spent time with. Okay? The second thing was that time. They realized that they can make more impact, they can make a new product, they can disrupt an industry, but they can't make more time. So whereas we went into COVID and we had all these, I like to call them ass fucks that would just sit out there going, how can I waste my life during COVID What can I binge watch? You know, oh, woe is me. The most successful people on the planet went, great, I've got time to focus on me. I've got time to focus on my family. I've got time to focus on my direction. So they focus on time because they know it's a commodity that no one can reproduce. And then I suppose really to give you a third one, culture. They align themselves with people based on cultures, not resumes. If you are great at speaking Spanish and Excel spreadsheet and You're math and geography. Good for you. But if we don't share the same vision, don't laugh at the same jokes, don't like the same food, there's not gonna be a connection. So I've gotta get to know you and to understand, are we relatable based on the same mind, vision, future, a mission statement? If we are, hey, all those other things I just mentioned, you can download a course on those. So they always get involved in relationships where they are culturally aligned. So there you go. There's 3 of them.

Yeah, that's awesome. I really like that. I think, yeah, who you surround yourself with is such a huge thing. It's massive. Your environment, even like where you live, plays a huge role just on your motivation and your ability to get out there and like do the work, creativity, all that kind of stuff. So tell me about a time when, you know, you said earlier that you have this ideology of go for stupid. Can you tell me kind of the story about where that came about?

Well, as you know, it's the name of the book. We had this, that title was there 18 years ago when I used to run that concierge firm. Now, let me play with you on this, James. All right? So, if I said to you, hey, what is your business goal? And you gave me your business goal. And I went, hey, that's impossible. Let's break the impossible. Let's make the impossible possible. Impossible stands for I'm possible. Let's do it. Look at my physiology. I was all very loud and bravado and, you know, tense and strong. Well, when things are tense and rigid, they crack and they break. But if I said to you, hey, what's your business goal? And you told me your business goal and I went, well, that's not stupid enough. Let's get a ridiculous goal. Let's make this laughable. Let's take it. If you're going for 10 mil, Let's go for 50 and fail at 30. Let's take your goals and make them stupid. If you rewind this video and just look at your face as I'm explaining the second alternative, when I was saying possible, your jaw was clenched. You were in the fight. But the second I said to you, let's have some fun with this, let's make it stupid, your lips cracked a bit. You know, you started to smirk. You felt a little bit more happy. You were a bit more into it. If I say to you something's impossible, but let's break through it, that's irrelevant. I've already stated it's impossible. I've already given you an excuse. You know, oh, how, what was I, what would I know? It's impossible. You know, I shouldn't have tried it in the first place. But the second I gamify it, you become a 5-year-old with no parameters. And so what we used to do is when people used to come to us and they used to go, hey, I'd like to meet the rock band Journey. Well, that's fine, but how can we make that request stupid? What's the stupidest thing we can do with that? And all of a sudden, we start playing like children. We ended up putting the client on stage in San Diego and he sang 4 tunes with the rock band. He's the shortest-term lead singer of the rock band. We had a client that wanted an amazing dining experience in Florence. Rather than stick him in a restaurant and pay for the chef to come out and get a photograph and give them a free dessert or something. We actually closed down an entire museum, set a table of 6 up at the feet of Michelangelo's David, and then got Andrea Bocelli to come in as the dinnertime entertainment. We took what was asked and made it ridiculous. Now we're in a society today where post-COVID, we built 2 toxic societies, the gotcha society and the cancel culture. You know, we were pretty shit at having conversations before COVID We became terrible during COVID and now we're terrified to actually have conversations for fear that what I'm going to say is, oh my God, did I use the right pronoun? Did I identify you as a wall socket? I'm sorry, I don't know what to do. Oh my God, was I not woke enough? Oh shit, cancel me. I'm done. We're terrified. And in a world where we're getting more into AI and AI is getting really smart and they don't give a fuck what you say, it's getting smarter. You've got to be in a room where you can communicate. Communication is the skill set you need today. If you've got a brilliant idea, it's useless unless you can convey why you are the solution to somebody else's problem. It's all about communication. So, that's the focus. That's what we've got going on. To be honest with you, I forgot what the bloody question was. But I think today, we're in a very dangerous position, but we can do something about it. You know, we're all out there worrying about global warming. I'm worried about the fact that two people can't talk to each other in a coffee shop.

Hey, friend, we're going to get back to this episode in just a moment, but I wanted to give you a gift because you've been hanging out with us. So far. This is a 5-step action guide that's going to walk you through how to earn your first $500 per month of passive income online. And you can do this by teaching the things that you already know, that you're skillful at, that you're passionate about. Maybe you're already teaching and you want to turn that into an online business. And it will work for you even if you don't know what your business idea is, or you don't even know what you want to sell online, because hint, that's step number 1. From there, I'm going to walk you through the building blocks on how to turn your knowledge into a passive income style business that works for you whether you're working or not. To get the guide, just go to ProfitYourKnowledge.com/guide. There's also a link in the description. Without further ado, let's get back into the episode. Yeah, no, it's pretty wild. And yeah, it is crazy. Just the skill of communication and it kind of, it really ties into what you really built yourself off of, which are connections. And that requires communication. My dad always told me growing up, he said, James, it's not what you know, it's who you know. Every time. And it is. And I would tell my girlfriend that. And when we first started dating, she's like, what, what are you talking about? And then I would meet people 'cause I had friends, you know, in all these different places, like a bouncer at a bar or something, be a huge line. He'd be like, oh, like you guys come through. And I was like, it's not what you know, it's who you know. And now she always says it to me. And that's like what your whole concierge service and everything really was. What was, I'd like to know more about, you know, the networking and the things that we can do to really communicate better with people, but to get into the rooms that we really want to be in and to get connected with the bigger people in our life. For you, that's what you said was your concierge service.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but what are some things that we can, I guess, kind of take away from your, like your idea and being like, I'm gonna start a concierge service. And like, how did you get those connections to be, get someone have their idea of, I want to go hang out with Journey, and you're like, let's get them on the stage and sing 4 songs. Like, what's the process to be able to do that kind of stuff?

So first off, I never wanted to be a concierge. I, I— that was the last bloody thing on the planet I wanted. All I wanted was to increase my room with intelligent, articulate, successful people. You are a combination of the room you're in, what you saturate and consume.

You are—

if you consume negativity, you're If you consume success, you are success. So I wanted to change my environment by making sure I was surrounded by people. But I'm 240 pounds of ugly biker and I'm not great at, you know, big words. I'm terrible at grammar. I'll often say the wrong thing. I'll often say the inappropriate thing. I only like dad jokes and inappropriate jokes. So There was a lot about me that I was concerned about. But the trouble is today, most people play the I game. I want to be in a good room. I want to know Elon Musk. I want to do that. I want to have that conversation. Well, we know what you want, but what's going to make you in demand and desire from them? Now, I knew I was big and ugly. And in the '80s and '90s, anyone that was swanning around with affluent people were like, oh, good afternoon, sir. Oh, you look wonderful today. How can I help you? Do you remember that, you know, when you used to go to a car show, the worst one was you go to an art gallery and there's some snooty bitch there going, do you know about art? You know, it's not your art. You know, you're a salesperson, but that's what it was. I stumbled on my zone of genius and I had two of them. The first one is I don't want to play the eye game because I know I don't look good. I know I don't sound good. I know I don't have the appearance that you are dreaming to give me your Amex Black Card. So I had to come up with, okay, what can I create that has got so much value that you see me as the walking solution to your problem? So I was a doorman of a nightclub and I used to try and hang around with some of the more affluent clients. They don't wanna talk to me. I can't afford the champagne they were ordering, but I did know what club was opening up tomorrow and how I could get 'em in the back door ahead of the line. I did know the next premier that was coming up and I knew how to get them into the red carpet. I did know the fashion week that was coming up and I did know how to get them into the shows. So when you are the solution to someone's problem, they don't care what you look like. Case in point, when was the last time you had a headache, you went to the kitchen cabinet, you pulled out your headache tablets, you lifted up the box and you went, no, I don't like that logo and you put them back? You don't. All you care about is that it's a solution to your problem. That's why there's very little branding on toilet roll, very little branding on toothpaste, very little branding on headache tablets. It's gotta serve a purpose. If it serves a purpose, I don't care what the freaking logo is. It doesn't matter. So I didn't go out to try and create a concierge firm. I went out to try and create what would get me in your circle that would be so invaluable that you'd wanna keep me. And that was access. The second thing, I said I had two zones of genius. The first one was recognizing that I was there to play your game. How can I help you? How can I make you more interested? How can I get you where you didn't think you could be? So I'm playing your game. When I'm the solution to your problem, you no longer look at how, you know, big and scary I am. Okay? The second thing was Because I can, and this was by accident as most things are, let's be serious. Because I didn't know how to say big words because I wasn't very articulate because I didn't sound like King Charles. You know, I'm not gonna sit and go, oh, good afternoon. It's just such a pleasure to be here. You know, I couldn't do that. So I went the opposite way. I didn't want to have much of a conversation because at the time I was a little bit concerned about how I sounded. So I'd come in, I'd be like, hey, so what are we gonna do to make you more interested? How are we gonna make your family over the moon by going on holiday? What do we need to do to make it happen? Very direct, very brief. And here's the big thing, impossible to misunderstand. Bluntness and clarity became my zone of genius. I would literally have billionaires turn around and go, you're gonna wanna talk to Sims. You ain't gonna have a long conversation, but he's gonna get shit done. And all of a sudden, the people come up to me and they'd be like, oh, Roger told us we should talk. And I'd be like, why? And I'd start like that. And they'd be like, because I wanna meet Lady Gaga. Fine, then let's make it happen. How do you see that looking? And of course, like all the time, I'm deflecting onto them, you know? Don't have a conversation with me. I want to have a conversation on what you want. And then if I can be the solution to it, you no longer have it. So I don't care if you're talking to the head of the PTA. I don't care if you're talking to a traffic stop policeman. I don't care if you're talking to a business individual at the Better Business Bureau, a networking event in the middle of fricking Iowa. It all works on forget the I game, focus on the you game. How can I make myself? So indispensable to you that you don't want to let me go anywhere else for the night. And that's what, that's what people have to do today. They need to fine-tune that communication to focus on the you game, not the I game.

Yeah, I love that. It's, that is the name of the game with anything. If you want to sell products, you want to sell services, make better connections, anything, it's anything. Yeah. It's focus on the service that you can provide for other people. And I think a great way to I mean, so you kind of started with like nightclubs, you being a bouncer and stuff, and that did get you a level of connection with these higher profile people. But you started to think, how can I help them? And how can I be, you know, offer something irresistible to them and give them something that no one else can really do, which would, for you, was access.

Yeah.

And I think that for someone listening to this right now, you don't have to be a bouncer and do what Steve did. A great way to do this is to actually start a podcast. I think that that is just such a simple way. To do it because, you know, it's like it— I can get connected with you who has a lot of connections and things like that. I genuinely just wanted to talk to you. But the bottom line is like, you know, if I just message you in DMs and was like saying stuff and didn't have any real value to offer you or anything, being like, hey, you can come onto my show, we'll make a piece of content, get you on the internet, help with SEO. Like there's a lot that's helping you, you know, and I get to learn from you, which is super cool. And that's what I love about podcasting and doing interview style is that you can, connect with so many people and you get to connect with the right people. Because the thing is too, that like, I get a lot of clients from my podcast because I get to know people, have relationships, and sometimes I happen to be a great offer and like fit for what they're trying to achieve. Um, but a lot of times I know someone because I interview so many people that can help them. If you're like, I'm trying to get on more stages or get better at public speaking, I know people who do public speaking because I've had them on the podcast. So I can be like, I know someone, let me help you, you know, and now I'm giving people access in a way. Um, so it's just such a, such a simple and easy way to like get out there, get connected with people. And then, you know, from there, you, Steve can be like, I know someone else who could be cool and then they could come onto the show too. And that just like snowballs eventually. So I think that that's a really great way for people to get started.

I've always said that I was podcasting before podcasting was invented.

Before it was cool.

Yeah. Well, this was in the '90s. We didn't have Instagram to show us how inadequate our life was, but I've always believed that that's what I did. So I think today, and I know another good way of doing it and a friend of mine actually does it and I won't call his name out, but he said he wanted to surround himself with hugely successful people, but he didn't know how to do it. So what he did was he started a group. And he got other successful people into the group to meet other successful people. And he just became the instigator. He became the conduit. Now he is the head of that room and he's in a room full of billionaires and very successful people because he invented the room and got a table where these people could have conversations. And that's one of the great things today. You don't have to do a podcast. You could throw a, you could launch a Facebook group, whatever. But you don't have to be the most intelligent person in the room. And in fact, if you are, as we all know, you're probably in the wrong room.

Yeah, absolutely. And if you like, if you do start like a Facebook group or a podcast, it goes back to what Steve was talking about, about basically a platform is what you're creating. Like your friend did. It has to be something that if you wanted to be in front of billionaires, that billionaires would be intrigued by.

Oh yeah.

And that's the tricky part. That's where it takes research, listening to them. If you can have a podcast, I mean, if that was like a product, I would start a podcast personally. They would— I would think about an idea that's intriguing for them, for like a billionaire to get onto or something, or more successful people to get onto. And then I would— after the podcast too, like people underestimate the time afterwards. You can have a little bit of time to chat with someone and then from there you can ask them questions about what they find valuable. And then just have a running list. It'd be like, oh, this is like, you know, an interview them post-interview kind of. But even during the interview, you can ask sometimes. Typically more successful people are short on time and things like that. Um, so yeah, I'm kind of interested, Steve, if you had to do it all again, knowing what you know now with connections, finding the stuff, everything we've been talking about, about like finding things that are valuable for other people, would you have done things differently? Like, would you have started a concierge service or would you have done something completely different?

No, I would've changed nothing. You see, I have made billions of mistakes and I have failed countless times. But here's the thing, you've only got to get it right once. But it's like you going up to a lottery winner and asking them about financial advice. What do they know? They bought a ticket in the middle of nowhere and they just happened to be lucky. For me, I've lost millions of dollars and I've made it and I've lost it and I've made it. And thankfully, you know, I'm still keeping it. So it's all of those mistakes that empowers you. You see, I know full well that if I did something stupid tomorrow, I've got knowledge, I've got information, I've got credibility, and I've got connections so I could make it back. There's been some dark times in my life that I wish I hadn't have gone through, but you learn how to have great relationships by having bad relationships. You know how to make good business decisions by making bad business decisions. You know how to keep money by losing money. So would I go back and change anything? Absolutely not.

Yeah, I love that. So true. What, what skills I would, I guess, do you think are most important for someone to focus on in starting to really like build up their network with the people they want to be around?

Well, again, it takes it back to the, the, the ideas I just gave you. I became really good at asking questions because I used to ask bad questions. I remember one day I put— this is a long time and I was probably about 18 years old at the time. Me and my buddies, we went to this pub. We're on these shitty old motorcycles that would start whenever they bloody wanted to. We had a few beers because that's all we could bloody afford, and we left the bar. As I was leaving the bar, this guy pulled up in a brand new car, gets out of this car, and it was like a scene out of some kind of Miami Vice. Opens up the back door, pulls his jacket— I can remember this vividly— pulls out this jacket. It was like in slow motion. Puts on this jacket, His beautiful girlfriend gets out the other side of the car and I'm like, look at this. I'm about to get on this dodgy motorcycle with a couple of ugly dudes and there's this guy that's got my life, you know, perfect. And I couldn't stop myself. I went running at the guy, bearing in mind I got a leather jacket on, I got a crash helmet in my hand, and I went running at him and I'm like, hey, how come you are rich and I'm not? Now, I wanted to know. I wanted to know how come this guy was successful or what it looked like and how come I was not. I was working on a building site, you know, working at 6 o'clock in the morning, coming home at 8 o'clock. I would work hard, but this guy had what I didn't. And I have never seen a man get in a car so fast, reverse, and drive off.

I mean, with you running at me, I'd be a little Well, that was the thing.

But I came running at the guy and I turned around and I looked at my two friends and I'm not joking you, one of them was on the floor because he was crying so much. And I was like, I was like, what's wrong with you? He was like, what did you expect was going to happen? Look at you, you're freaking running at him with a crash helmet looking like you. No wonder the guy pissed off, you know, you've just terrified the shit out of him. And I was like, ugh. I realized at that moment, delivery was everything. You know, I hadn't delivered my question the best possible way to get the answer I wanted. So I learned how to ask good questions by first asking bad ones. And a friend of mine, Jay Abraham, says, if you want an amazing answer, ask an amazing question. So I think today you really need to focus on that communication. Everything else you can download an app or you can hire someone in the Philippines to do. But today, if you don't focus on your ability to communicate, now I can go into a room and I can have a conversation with oil tycoons or Fortune 500 CEOs or royalty, and I can have a conversation because I know how to match the temperature, the cadence, the vibrance of that conversation. If they're all excited, I'll be all excited. But if they want to have a quiet stealth conversation, I can come back in the exact tempo, still keep the energy, but be at that tempo and tone. So learning delivery along with the question, that's the best things.

So I guess, how can people ask better questions? Obviously not charging up to someone and saying, how come you got my life and I don't?

Is it just—

Yeah, go ahead.

That's it. Ask bad ones. You see, it goes back to the other bit. We're frightened to ask questions today because we don't want to look stupid, and that's terrible. So instead of looking stupid, we're becoming ignorant by not asking the question. I want to come up to you and I want to go, hey, I'm thinking of launching a podcast. How should I start? You know, hey, I'm looking at launching this business. You've got a very successful business. Were there any mistakes you made you could just quickly tell me about so I don't make them? You know, and just try to ask questions that are searching for the answers that are actually gonna change. I don't care what you watched on TV last night. I don't care what you ate for food. I don't care where you're going this weekend. I care about, hey, you've been running a successful podcast. You've built a community. How has that impacted your life? And if I was gonna follow, what would be the 3 pieces of nuggets that you could give me in order for me to do the same?

Right.

You know, ask bad questions, but for God's sake, start asking questions. Your first questions will be shit. They may be offensive. They may be inappropriate, but you will learn how to ask brilliant questions by first asking bad ones. You've got to get through that bad ones. It's like, you know, if you want to run a marathon, what's the first thing you got to do? You got to run a half a mile, you know, and then do it repeatedly. The first time you do anything is going to be shit. Understand that and get going.

Yeah, I like that. Simple advice. There's no cookie cutter answer. You just got to go through the shit until you massage the knots.

Yeah, yeah. A good friend of mine, Avi Meisel, had a beautiful saying. He used to say, get going and then get good.

Ari Meisel. I love that guy. Yeah, he's awesome. Steve, based on your career, what do you wish someone would have told you early on?

I suppose to listen more, I think. And I think it's just a sign of age. You know, when we're older and we hear something, we do listen more. When we're younger, we'll maybe listen to the first 5 minutes and then go and action it. And we didn't listen to the second 5 minutes that would've told us how to do it right. So I think I would've listened more. But I'm not upset. I'm trying to, you know, we all try to do this when we get old. We try to educate those people that are younger than us to not make the mistakes that we made. But to learn from the mistakes that we did. And so, you know, in the book Go for Stupid, I'm trying to get people to learn these lessons from the mistakes that I made so that you can have the knowledge without the scars. But I would say the number one thing you fail to do whenever you're younger is listen to someone else.

Yeah, I think that's gonna help too with the whole question bit as well. Yeah. Asking better questions. Listening every time.

Yep.

Love that. Uh, Steve, it's been great getting to know you, man, and I really appreciate the time, uh, and the value that you've brought as well. Where can people learn more about you, get connected, and dive into your world?

Well, this book I'm giving away for free, okay? Uh, it's already become a bestseller. I've already made me money off it. Bottom line of it is go to go4stupid.com and watch 12 video chapters of me reading the book and you don't have to pay a cent. So it's free of charge. Or you can follow me at Steve D Sims. I'm at Instagram, Twitter, wherever you get your social. Don't forget the D for dashing, and there's only one M in Sims. Steve D Sims. Or visit my website stevedsims.com to find out everything about me, what I'm up to, and Sims Distillery.

Love it. Right on. For the listener, uh, take what you learned, you know, get out there. I mean, we covered a lot of stuff, uh, but basically It's okay to do it messy as long as you just get out there and just do it. Stay the course, uh, dream big, dream stupid, you know, in the, in the right way. So where it feels stupid, but it excites you at the same time. And then, uh, just get going. The work will teach you how to do it. So take what you learned here, get out there and make something happen. We'll see you in the next one.