I made a huge mistake

I fucked up. Today's gonna be a bit of a different style content than what I normally put out because I just wanted to share something real with you about my experience and just being an entrepreneur and trying to grow my own business, and an experience specifically where I thought that I I was one, going to give up for real this time. I've had many times with this one specifically. And two, I thought that I had lost an important relationship in my life and really it was my fault. So as I was growing my business, I used to do performance and productivity coach before I got into like digital products and this sort of stuff. And in the effort of growing my business, I was reaching out to different people. You know, I had different coaches and mentors in my life and was trying to figure out how to do marketing really. And by investing in myself so much, because that's what you're supposed to do, I stocked up so much credit card debt that I was maxed out on my credit card. I had a line of credit, it was totally maxed out. Like everything was maxed out. So I didn't really have money to invest in myself, but at the same time I didn't know what I didn't know. So I didn't know how to market myself. So in order to learn these things, I'd have to invest. I ended up finding a coach who was in the same niche as me doing like performance and productivity kind of stuff. And apparently they were a 7-figure coach. I found out later that they had made 7 figures in the e-commerce space and then they became a coach. So they're just kind of riding off of the 7-figure success from a completely different industry, basically a niche. I reached out to them and I was just gonna ask some questions about like, how have you grown your business and learn about marketing. And then they ended up obviously presenting their offer and saying, yeah, we have students who are doing $15,000 to $20,000 months using this exact same formula. And they were really good at sales 'cause I was totally bought in. Also, I was very naive and desperate at this time in my life. But they seemed legit and they made it sound like it was really easy for me to be able to do this. Now, the program that they offered was $20,000 or 4 payments of $5,500. And again, I had zero money, so I was exploring options with this coach and I decided that, oh, I can reach out and just kind of talk to my dad. And if what you're saying is true, then I'll make this happen and then I can pay him back. 'Even if not, like if we just do one payment, I can pay him back over time.' First mistake. So I go over to my dad's house. It's a rainy day. I walked in and he reluctantly and surprisingly gave me $5,500, but he was adamant about, 'You got to pay me back,' because my dad's retired. You know, he didn't have a ton of money. Just the fact that he did it was pretty amazing to me. So I promised him that I would pay him back and that this was going to be like my golden ticket. So once I was in, I was eager to make this whole thing work. and I did everything that this coach told me to do as a part of their quote unquote system, because I figured that this was going to work for me because they were in the performance productivity kind of space. Now, their marketing system was pretty much just a cold DM 100+ people every single day with a copy paste template that they gave me. There were small customizations and things like that, but for the most part, I was sitting in front of a computer just grinding away, copy paste. And on top of that, they wanted me to have a spreadsheet where I would copy and paste all their information and put it into the spreadsheet. So each reach out took a significant amount of time and it was just draining my days. But I did it religiously every single day, 100 reach outs every day, doing the best that I could just to follow the system to a T because I figured this has got to work, you know, it's gonna work and I'm gonna make it work because I gotta pay back my dad. But every message that I sent just left my gut twisted because people didn't respond or they'd respond saying, never message me ever again. And then they block me. And then the worst part was that I was using Facebook and sending messages, copy-paste templates. Facebook Messenger recognized me as a bot, so it shut down my Messenger ability and I couldn't even message people. I messaged my coach and said, hey, like, Facebook's shutting me down and I haven't even hit near 100 people. Like, what do I do? I also said that like, this doesn't really feel right. It feels like I'm just kind of spamming people here, but what do you recommend? You're the expert, right? And they told me, oh, if that happens on Facebook, don't worry, just go over to Instagram and just pick up where you left off. And if it happens again on Instagram, just go over to LinkedIn. So I put my head down, I focused on making this work, just doing what they said. A month ended up going by, which meant that another payment went by of $5,500, and I didn't even recognize it because I was so focused on the work and trying to make this all work, and I hadn't made a dime. So my dad got charged another $5,500. Now I had to go to my dad and tell him that, A, I haven't made any money from this program that you invested in for me, and B, your card got charged another $5,500. So now you are $11,000 in the hole. Telling that to this face was kind of scary, but I was so gutted that I wasn't able to fulfill my promise to him because of this other coach that I was putting my faith into. So we tried talking to the coach and getting the money back, or at least a portion of it, to kind of help me out with paying my dad back. And the coach said no. They said no, it's non-refundable, you signed that in your contract, and I was like, but I've done everything you've said to a T and nothing has been happening. I've been showing you my progress and showing you messages and all this kind of stuff, and then a lawyer ended up getting involved and then we had to talk to the lawyer and pretty much it was just not gonna do anything or I had to go to court and try and figure all this stuff out and I'm just like, this is ridiculous, you know, which would've cost a ton more money as well. So we ended up agreeing that they were going to cancel the subscription of $5,500 for 4 months, we wouldn't get any of the $11,000 back. And on top of that, just as like a cherry, they revoked me from every single product or program that I had invested $11,000 in. So I didn't even walk away with an online course or a template even. They took every asset away from me and just left me high and dry. And this is something that I just despise about this industry, which is ironic because I'm in the industry. Because of people like this. And it's not just this one coach. There are so many different people who are charging tens of thousands of dollars and just leaving people hanging. And it just blows my mind because it is such bad business. Like, for me, if I was that coach and someone made that, I would have, you know, given them back at least $5,500. You know, I would have given them back their money and been like, okay, I'm sorry that this happened, that it didn't work for you. No, I, I care more about my reputation than just making a quick buck off of you. And if you're really like a 7-figure coach, like $11,000 on your reputation, you know, it shouldn't be that big of an issue, or at least $5,500. And at a bare minimum, I personally would have given this person courses, or at least one good course that would really help them, be like, hey, just take this and just use it, please. You know, I'm sorry this didn't work out for you, but at least take the programs, here's templates, here's as many resources I can help you just to have under your belt so you can go use them. But it blows my mind how many people don't do this kind of stuff in this industry while they charge people up the ass. And then these people are left with these big chunks of debt that they probably can't pay off because they don't know different things like I did. And then they have to try and figure it out or just resort to going back to their old life and working a job and paying off this debt. I felt so much shame in this experience, but I had to pay my dad back $11,000 and I almost lost our entire relationship. Like, he didn't want to talk to me because he was just— he was flabbergasted by the whole thing. But yeah, we didn't talk to each other for a really long time. And if we did, it was really short and it was like the tension was high because he was just mad. He was upset. And, you know, I also left construction work to go pursue this coaching thing. That alone was kind of important to my dad because that, that was his dream. You know, that's where he found success. It's like if your parent was a lawyer and you started going to law school and then you left and that's where they found success, like they just want to see you successful. If that's all that they feel they can give to you and then you pretty much just like throw it away or say, I don't want that, then they feel like kind of guilt in a little bit of a way too. And while the situation sucked, I was still committed to not just growing my business, but mostly to just paying my dad back. And I did want to continue growing my business. But a part of me for a little while definitely wanted to just quit. But then I had to think about like my options. Like I know if I can get some coaching clients that I could pay my dad back a whole lot faster than working a job on the side, you know, like doing busing at a restaurant or something like that. So I had to find a way to market myself, to get myself out there, to get some money into the door so I could pay my dad back as soon as possible. Now I've invested in myself a lot and I've learned way more from the shitty investments, unfortunately, compared to the amazing investments. But I've had enough great investments that it's helped kind of balance out all the crappy ones. So I had to compile all the knowledge of things that have worked and things that didn't work for me and try and find a system that made marketing myself and getting clients effective for one, but also authentic. Because what I was doing before, the cold DMing and all that stuff, it was very inauthentic and it felt just like a numbers game and I hated every single second of it. For me, growing my business, I want it to be fun and I've wanted that from day one. I don't want to just make money. I want to make money doing something I genuinely enjoy that also gives me time and money freedom. And I think that that's what most of us want, right? So after compiling all the different strategies and mentors and things I've invested in that worked and that didn't work, I really come to find that there is a simple formula that I kind of use. It's like my mantra, and it's called Connect, Inspire, Invite. So first off, you have to connect with people on or offline. This could mean going to networking events. This could mean messaging people. It could mean interviewing your audience, doing a podcast. Like, there's so many different ways that you can do it. It's just kind of finding how you like to connect with people. If speaking on stages really excites you, then go speak on more stages. Find more opportunities. Create those opportunities. If you like doing podcasts with people like I do, I get a lot of clients from my podcast. I made an episode on my YouTube channel where I actually talk more about that. It doesn't really matter how you do it as long as you do it, because no matter what, you have to get connected. You have to start a conversation with your audience and the people that you can help. So start conversations with your audience in some way that feels right to you and that is authentic, but most importantly, Just be you. Once you've connected with people, then you have to inspire them. You inspire them by talking about what you do and how it's worked for you and helped other people. And then you can show them your system or process and explain how it can work for them and more importantly, how it's going to make their life better. For example, with me, when I explain to people how the process works on turning digital products into passive income, they get really excited. And I say like, yeah, you can do something like this for like your lead magnet. Your email sequence could be something like this. You could create content around this sort of stuff, and then you can build a product about this. And here's how it all links together. And they get lit up from it. So when I see that they're excited and better yet, they're asking me questions about how I can make this a lot more simple and easier for them, then we move into the third component, which is to invite. You have to invite people when they're inspired to take a next step and always have a next step ready for them. If you're having a conversation with someone at a networking event, You're talking about what you do. They're like, wow, this is really cool. You're explaining how it can work for them. And then you invite them if it feels right to be like, hey, do you want to hop onto a longer call where I'll just pour into you for an hour, a.k.a. a strategy session? Now you've invited them to that next step. And now on the call, you're going to connect by showing up on the call, inspire them by having a great conversation, and then inviting them to work with you. Connect, inspire, invite. As I started getting more clients, I would throw the money over to my dad There were a couple dry spells where I wasn't making money, so I'd just pay him that like $300, just some little bit kind of holding on to the ropes basically. And every time I enrolled a client, just threw it over to him. And it got to a point where he said like, you know, you don't have to be giving me $1,000+ per month. And I was just making this money and it was working and I just started throwing it over to him. And yeah, he pretty much gave me permission to like back up a bit, but I was like, no, I want to clean this up. So I ended up paying him back and now my dad and I have a great relationship. We go out to breakfast, we hang out, you know, we talk to each other, we just give each other calls randomly. And I think that that's like the coolest part because I really thought that my dad would never talk to me again after this. It was pretty, it was pretty intense and pretty heated. But luckily we, I was able to, you know, pay him back. And when he saw that I was actually making progress and paying him back and stuff that yeah, he started to, to really believe in me a lot more in this, this business of mine. Because he was really skeptical for a very long time. So I learned a lot from this experience on how I want to personally run my business and how I don't want to run it at the same time. I never ever am ever going to make an investment with somebody else's money. I know that as an entrepreneur and, you know, wanting to grow your business and everything, sometimes you don't have the money. Sometimes you're in a situation like I was where you invest a ton, like everything basically, and you don't really have money to spend, but you want to invest in yourself so you can learn more. It's kind of this, this tricky place to be, but find a way to connect with, inspire, and invite people to hop onto calls with you, to work with you by going to events where your audience is hanging out, pick up a job on the side, whatever it is, you know, and focus on paying off that debt. 'Cause when you have that stuff off, then you can, you can invest in yourself in other ways. But don't ever do what I did, please. You know, maybe you're like, well, duh, but I was just desperate at the time. And I think that that's, that could happen to a lot of people, which is why I wanted to share this story. So if I can't pay for the money that an investment that I want upfront, or if I have like room on my credit card, then I can pay off the credit card, I'm not going to do it. I have bigger things to focus on, which is being in a position where I can make those kind of investments because I genuinely do love investing in myself. And unfortunately, investing yourself is kind of like gambling. Like, you never know really what you're going to get. But the way that I run my business is like, if people don't like the coaching or they're not happy with what I'm doing, I give them their money back. That's just a personal decision that I make. And on top of that, I work with them until we get the system built. That's just what I like to do because I want people to feel secure. And based on this experience in my own life and hearing from tons of other people of a similar experience, it's not fair. You know, good business is where the risk is more on me, the business owner, than it is on you, the client. It's like if I go to a restaurant and I get my food and there's like hair in it and I'm like, okay, can I get, you know, something else? You know, or can I get a fresh meal? And they're like, oh no, you can't, you can't do that. You know, it's all sales are final. And I'm like, okay, well can I get my money back? They're like, no, no, no, all sales are final. Like you can't, you can't do that. I would never go to that restaurant ever again. I would leave negative reviews. I'd be like, this place is terrible. Why would you ever go here? I don't care how fancy it is, how expensive it is. Like, the service is really important and that leaves a bad reputation for the restaurant. But when it comes to the coaching industry, we're paying tens of thousands of dollars sometimes, or even thousands of dollars to work with people privately. And half the time they don't even know what they're doing or they're not willing to actually work with you. It's like an ego trip and a power trip that people have. So for me personally, that's just not how I want to run my business. And I say that not to tell you what to do, it's just to get your brain turning about how it's okay to offer people their money back. And I think that it's important too, because I want to get better and better at my craft. So if someone asks for their money back, it's like, okay, I did something wrong. And I obviously set standards and make it clear as to like, you gotta understand that you have to put in work. I'm not just gonna do all this for you. I'm teaching you how to fish, I'm not fishing for you. So you have to understand that there's like skill building. There's a lot of stuff that goes into this. When you set expectations and then offer that money-back guarantee, especially if like even if they just pay in full, they get a money-back guarantee. What that does is force you to make a better product, to be a better business owner instead of just making a quick buck. Because I'd rather have a killer reputation that I deliver on my promises than be someone who has a shit reputation but like makes some money on the side. In the end, it's not really going to serve you. Anyway, that's, that's a rant of mine, but I feel that that is what good business really is, and that's what I like to do in my own business. So when you hear this story and my experiences, just my thoughts here, I'm really just kind of brain dumping. Um, I hope you consider how you like to run your business and how you want to run your business, because in the end, the most important thing that's going to really help you grow your business is your reputation. And if people associate you with being a total rock star and delivering on your promises, or better yet, overdelivering on your promises, you're going to be successful. Put people first, charge your worth, but make sure that your customers are happy. And I guarantee you're going to be in a lot better position than just trying to make money, because I will never work with those coaches ever again. But I wish that there were more coaches that had the mentality that I do. And I'm not saying that to brag or anything. It's just I really put people first. And I think it's something that I wish was more prevalent in this industry. Now, if you've ever had a similar experience to what I had, let me know down in a comment below. Take what you learned here, get out there, stay the course, and most importantly, take action towards your dreams. And I guarantee that you will make them happen. You just got to stay in the game long enough to succeed. I'll see you in the next one.