A conversational transcript from Ramit Sethi's Brain Trust with James Altucher discussing how people fear failure in many forms (losing money, embarrassment, rejection, death). Altucher argues that rigid goals create time-limited satisfaction and suggests reframing goals as ongoing themes—focusing on providing value daily. He also advises staying present rather than 'time traveling' into past regrets or future anxieties.
Most people who are watching this, what do you think some of the things that they are concerned about failure with? Like, what are the biggest failure points that they are worried about?
Well, people are afraid that they're going to lose money. People are going to be afraid that they're going to embarrass themselves. So if they go for a job and get rejected, people are afraid of rejection. If they ask the girl out on the street, they're afraid to get rejected. They're afraid that if they start a business that it will fail. You know, people who have a lot of money are afraid of losing that money. They want to protect it. Right. So even people who you would think are at the pinnacle of success, and we usually define that in America as they have a lot of money in the bank, these people are terrified that the world is going to end in some brutal manner that they can't control, and they're terrified to die. Like, so suddenly people. People just spent 20 years accumulating, like, a lot of money, and then they suddenly start going to the gym and they suddenly start praying to God or they suddenly get really worried about inflation and nuclear war. So they become fear. They transfer this ambition for money into ambition for other things without kind of reducing the stress level that they thought was going to be in their goal in the first place. So another code word is goals. When somebody has a goal, it means it's code word for saying, I'm not really happy with where I am right now, but if I achieve X, Y and Z my goals, I will be happy. And the reality is they achieve X, Y and Z for a second, and then it's like rolling a rock up the hill. You're at the top of the hill, but then the rock falls down the hill. You know, you only could achieve your goal once and then you're falling down again. So I prefer another exercise for viewers is to try to change the word goal to theme and see how that changes internally, how you're viewing what you're aiming for.
Give me an example.
So, okay, rather than saying, I want a million dollars, saying, my theme is, I want to provide, I want to make a theme of my life, that I'm going to provide value to people and. And that value will be such that I get rewarded financially. So then instead of saying, okay, I'm going to get a million dollars, I'm going to get a million dollars, instead, you wake up every morning and say, what can I do today to provide value to people? And every day you will find things to provide value Maybe you'll introduce those two friends. You created value. Now, you don't know yet if it's going to create a million dollars for you, but you've created value. You create enough value around yourself, the rewards are going to come back in financial ways, in relationship ways, in ways where you start to feel more at peace, you know, which you thought was going to be the goal of having a million dollars in the first place. You'll start feeling that goal right now, I think just on a daily basis, kind of admitting and understanding what you don't know and working through it again helps you to avoid fear of the future and helps you to avoid regretting the past. You don't want to time travel. You want to be. Most people are time traveling, so it's like a science fiction movie. Everyone's walking around in the street, and they're either way in the future, anxious and worried, or they're way in the past regretting things. If you can be that 1 or 2% that's actually right here in the present while everyone else is in their time machine, you're going to succeed because everyone else is away and you're here. So the people who are here will succeed. I love that. Incredible. It works.
That's amazing.
So.
So if you're here in the moment, I love what you said. Everyone else is away in the past or the future. I'm thinking about that. I've never heard that concept.
Look, in New York City, it's most. You can see it in the street, particularly when the light is about to change and there's one group of people about to cross the street facing the other group of people. Everyone's in another universe. They're all traveling. They're all time traveling. But if you're really. I find actually to be an interesting exercise to kind of keep you in the present, particularly when walking around thinking, specifically walking around in the street when everyone's off in their daydreams. Look at the rooftops. Most people, you know, most architects get to be playful in rooftops. So that's where their artistry is. And the rest of the building is functional. So look at the rooftops in your town or your city where you live in, and you'll realize the beauty all around you. Right now, everyone else is time traveling to, I lost all that money, or I'm afraid to ask my boss for a raise, or, you know, how can I get this girl to go out with me? You know, or maybe she's already cheating on me or whatever, you know, everyone's traveling somewhere else, but you're just walking around enjoying the rooftops, and it gets you right here and now. I love that.
