A woman working 60-hour weeks resents her partner for sitting on the couch while she carries the financial load. Ramit Sethi explains that couples rarely talk directly about roles and money, letting grievances fester into years of bitterness that can destroy a marriage.
I was getting very resentful coming home and seeing him sitting on the couch.
Because?
Because I'm out there busting my ass.
And he?
Is sitting on the couch watching TV all day. It's like it doesn't— didn't matter to him that we increase our wealth. It's almost like he doesn't care that I work 60 hours a week.
Right. I think I relied too much with, oh, I get my pension. It took a while for me to open up and see like that was—
How long?
4 and a half years. Things don't magically change overnight when somebody does something you want. I suspect that the two of you did not talk about it seriously. What does this mean? Why did I actually want him to work? How many other marriages do you know where they spend their entire rest of their life together just resentful about something that happened 10 years ago, 20 years ago?
Yeah, and I don't want that to be us.
But it is you today.
