Ramit Sethi explores how couples disagree about who owns a debt problem. One person feels it as an anchor holding them back; the other sends mixed messages about money. The real tension: is this our debt or your problem?
It became an emotional toll on me. Why? It's a kind of net negative. It's not building towards something. It's actually just an anchor. So you asked him, how fast can we pay it off? Even though what you— seems to me what you meant is how fast can you pay it off? Yeah.
Okay.
A lot of the way I approach money is this is your problem versus my problem. It's a bit of a mixed message. Would you say that you've experienced mixed messages around money?
For sure. In the past, it had been more about This is a thing that I'm dealing with as a person, and I'm so glad I have somebody here that I can talk to about it. But then, as we're talking about the potential of eventually getting married, combining finances, it becomes his problem too. And so the feeling, um, I have a very visceral feeling to talking about money. Which is what? Typically, I just end up checking out because it's like in fight or flight, I just choose flight.
